here's a template.

#71 template by arbi 9-03-05

FTC #71 variation on template by arbi 9-03-05

judging in about a week. usual rules.

---
woof

FTC 71: Intermission by biped 9-05-05

Jeez, you must have a huge bladder.

FC 71: Ape Canaveral by biped 9-05-05

I'm sorry, Sally -- mission specialist O'Miller just spontaneously devolved. Well, back to you.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

FTC 71: Gemini program by mandingo 9-06-05

knock knock who's there? astronaut astronaut who? astro not you, you didn't make the cut. turn in your shit and get the fuck out

---
what if nigger meant kite

Winners go home and fuck the prom queen by RedfeatheR 9-08-05

Why don't you tell me a little bit about your j-- Look, I'm just a biochemist. I spend most of my time in a glass jar. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I am dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known. ...where? In the open containment unit behind us

24 hours remain in contest. If no further entries or bribes, these will be the awards.
The award icons didn't cut and paste, and I'm not sure where they live, and too lazy/overhung to look at the source.

In just under the wire award to:
Cpausti, for apples and bananas.

Prom Queen award
Goes to: RedfeatheR

Best Use of Python

Goes to: Wil Wheaton

Most Political

Goes to: mandingo for Gemini

For all the little things he does each day

Funniest Comic to Democrats

Goes to: Biped for Ape Canaveral.

Funniest Comic to Nerds

Goes to: redfeather

For saving that orphan from the grease fire.

Most Obscure

Goes to: Biped for Intermission. I still don't get it,
although prom queen was a runner up in this category, and gwen stephani what?

For sleeping with 4 women at the same time in college.
Ivy, for fashion emergency II

Best Use of Lack of Rules

Goes to: arbi

Because

he

CAN

The AUUHHH award Of best use of being corny

Goes to: man + dingo

For the threesome last night. you were both quite excellent

Bronze Award of Neatoness

Goes to: category still open.

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to: RedfeatheR

Bonus Award

Goes to: cpausti, unless there's a later entry.

Creativity Award - no award.

Zinger Award
Goes to: Mandingo for Gemini.

(And the next host of FTC)
Biped, for Ape Canaveral.

---
woof

You forgot to add "and by a week I mean four days".

---
More lust than you can shake a stick at.

5, but oh ok, i was thinking it had been a couple weeks, i'll leave it open awhile longer.

---
woof

Physics Interviews by HCRoyall 9-09-05

So then I said "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves!" What the fuck are you talking about?

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

ok, the bribes are all in and here are some results:
Top five awards:
5th

I Hate Gwen Stefani by cpausti 9-08-05

I'm here with Astro-Bob at NASA Headquarters. We have tought the space monkeys to spell. Unbelievable. Can you spell "apple?" a-p-p-l-e This shit is bananas. b-a-n-a-n-a-s

4th
mandingo
3rd
redfeather
2nd
hcroyall au fromage
1st, and new ftc leader
biped, for ape canaveral

sundry other awards:
redfeather, best bribe, most need for obscenity filter, prom queen.
most fruit: cpausti
zinger: mandingo
best use of python: wil wheaton
best wedding: 'chica

---
woof

Heh, I guess I forgot to post the comic.

---
all the wrong things for all the right reasons