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Stripcreator » Comic Showcase » How the Grinch Stole Chanukah

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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

How the Grinch Stole Chanukah by kaufman
12-15-05
The Grinch and his dog Max were back in their cave, Grumbling about how Christmas had been saved.
Though my not stealing Christmas makes me feel a bit sad, one holiday's existence drives me totally mad!
The Whos down in Whoville have a repulsive celebration, but the Joos down in Jooville have the worst in the nation!
I feel like Hillary must in re Bill and Monica, I must separate the Joos from their beloved Chanukah.
How the Grinch Stole Chanukah (2) by kaufman
12-15-05
The Grinch hatched a plan to steal their day from the Joos,
Must infiltrate quickly, no time to lose!
I'll fit in down there, they won't think I look shabby, Dressed as a mensch, a Chanukah rabbi. That works for me, but what about you?
Lord knows a reaindeer in Jooville won't do. I've got it! This disguise will work, you'll see. Behold the magnificent Max-a-bee!
How the Grinch Stole Chanukah (3) by kaufman
12-15-05
Down there in Jooville they started to pilfer mezuzot of gold and dreidels of silver.
Shofars and tallit, and Shabbat wall sockets, Gifts for the kids, like Shlomo's pet rocket. And Miriam's new Barbie Beit Knessett, And the Franklin Mint Deluxe 6-Day-War Chess Set!
On to the kitchen and ready to steal, all of the staples of the Joos' Chanukah meal. Latkes and blintzes and Manischewitz Grape, Kasha ball soup, and gefilte ape.
How the Grinch Stole Chanukah (4) by kaufman
12-15-05
He stole Bloomingdales purses, true felt fedoras, And was about to grab the Joos' best menorah. When Cindy Lou Joo, who was only but two, awoke and asked him,
Why, Rabbi, are you doing what you do?
Well, the Grinch was so smooth, without batting an eye, he came up with a smooth, deceitful lie.
The third candle over, you can see it is broken. The wick is impure, the fire is smoking.
The menorah must go to my shop for repair, I can't do it here, I must take it there.
Oh, thank you, good rabbi, you are a life saver. But before you go, I must ask a favor. I know you won't mind, a man like you of course can, Help out and remove my new brother's foreskin.
How the Grinch Stole Chanukah (5) by kaufman
12-15-05
Down at the bris, when he put on that yarmulke, The Grinch suddenly got the meaning of Chanukah. His heart shifted over from evil to good, He returned the gifts and all of the food.
A perfect circumcision with one perfect snip. Dad was so impressed, he said,
Rabbi, keep the tip!
And the moral of the story is:
Give them a grinch, they'll want a mohel.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

12-15-05 7:30am (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

Finally, the Jews have their very own Christmas special.

I very much enjoyed this.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

12-15-05 9:31am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

Wow, a pun!

12-15-05 10:12am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

This story made me groan -- with joy.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

12-15-05 12:53pm (new)
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lukket
Home Computer Futurist

Member Rated:

Joohoo! Refreshing and funny.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

12-15-05 1:09pm (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

Refreshing? Huh?

12-15-05 4:47pm (new)
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lukket
Home Computer Futurist

Member Rated:

Refreshing as in refreshingly original idea.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

12-15-05 5:23pm (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

How original can a parody be?

12-15-05 10:07pm (new)
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lukket
Home Computer Futurist

Member Rated:

If the parody hasn't been done before in that particular way.

Don't mind me. Just wanted to say something positive...

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

12-16-05 10:22am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

Depending on how good it is, a parody can register up to 87% on the Orig-o-meter, which is currently on display in the Library of Congress.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

12-16-05 10:44am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

How refreshing.

I didn't hate the series or anything like that.

12-16-05 3:37pm (new)
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HCRoyall
100mg Thorazine, Please

Member Rated:

As far as parodies go, this is the best.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

12-18-05 11:17am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

I guess no one ever offered me any of the kaufman kool-aid.

12-18-05 12:41pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

And then, just then, something strange happened. That crabby, who'd hated every comic he'd seen, why his penis grew three sizes! To him, this was obscene!

He leapt and he bounded, down mountain and hill, to tell the Strippers of Stripville! He jumped in the air with such wonderful glee, who could deserve a new penis, who else but he?

He showed it off proudly and managed to smile. For once in his life, things seemed most worthwile! But this wouldn't last, as you know, crabby had no reason for games in the snow. He'd robbed and he'd pilfered each stripper's great joy, bringing them down like a spoiled little boy.

He fretted and worried, no Holiday this year! For crabby had brought nothing but sadness and jeer! But at last, he thought of a plan, a wonderful, beautiful, stripperful plan!

He brought all the strippers together at once, Kajun and Kaufman, that wonderful putz! He stood up tall and opened his yip, "For one more insult!" the strippers did quip.

But no, not this time. Not any of the sort! This time his mouth opened to speak a report! He bid fair tidings and joy to all around, and all the fair strippers were stunned at the sound!

"Is this crabby? Our crabby?" They all started to think, but it was, it was him, as sure as his stink! Crabby was good, if just for a day, for Christmas eve, his insults would stay!

So thus ends the story, of a Grinch Stripper named crabby and the strippers he hates. Stay tuned next year, when it becomes real, dear mates!

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

12-24-05 5:36am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

I don't hate every comic. I didn't hate these comics. The only one's I hate are by young bald men who waste time writing rhymes.

12-24-05 9:36am (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

These comics were great, Kaufman.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

12-24-05 4:18pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Then thank goodness I'm old and still have my mop.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

12-24-05 9:47pm (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

I love you kaufman.

12-24-05 9:54pm (new)
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