That's right, here's a selection of my old comics for you to cherish.

Captain Chip In Happier Times by biped 6-18-04

Sometimes, when I fart, my farts smell like Arkansas. Usually after I've eaten a really big chef salad. Damn, that lady next door sure has some big... Arkansas?

BCC 2: Ying-Yang Goes Bananas by biped 6-03-04

I'm reading a book about church sects. CHURCH SEX!!!??? OMFG! LOOK WHAT YING-YANG'S IMAGINATION IS ABOUT TO MAKE US DO! THIS IS SO WRONG! SO BUTT-FUCKINGLY WRONG! Ying-Yang, if you don't concentrate, you're going to blow the quiz on "Moby Dick." BLOW!!! JIZZ!!! DICK!!!

Comeback Duck by biped 5-27-04

Oh, no! h8trboi13 just called me a "fag." Tell him he should know, he's the expert on fags. Uh-oh! He answered with "Translation: I am a fag." Counter it with: "Translation: I know you are, lol. YUO = OWNED." Gee thanks, Comeback Duck! I'm the hero of "Hobbit Chat" now! Your mom's the hero of "Blowjob Chat."

Aliens Are Dickheads by biped 5-02-04

PUNY HUMANS, YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR OUR SUPERIOR TECHNOLOGY AND INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY. PREPARE TO -- Oh, shut up. WHAT? YOU DARE TELL ME TO SHUT UP? YOU PUNY HUMAN -- Fuck you. That "puny humans" shit gets real old after a while, dickhead. And you can take your whiz-bang technology and your whoop-te-doo intellect, and shove 'em straight up your fucking ass. BUT...WE CAN ABDUCT YOU AND ADMINISTER ANAL PROBES... So, you're like a high-tech gay prostitute who makes house calls. Golly whillickers, Mr. Intellect.

THE NEW NON-OFFENSIVE AMOS 'N' ANDY SHOW by biped 4-05-04

Now with ROBOTS! Dat's right, Andy...you gives me fo' hunnut dollahs, and I'll sells you dis here gen-yoo-ine indivisible mink stole so's you can git in good wiff yo girlfren again... Hmm...dat souns lahk a real good deal, alright...I'll take it, Kingfish. You mean da Kingfish done swindled me again, Amos? Holy mackul, I's resgusted. Ah'm afraid so, Andy...and dis sho is a dirty low-down scheme, even fo' de Kingfish. Now hole on dere, Andy...ain't no need for you to get all indignified and go pugilatin' on me...here, I'll throw dis bona-fried see-through hyena-skin coat inta de bargain... Well, now you talkin', Kingfish! My gal is sho gone be extry sweet on me when she see dis.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Cute Little Girl by biped 6-28-04

Gee, mister! You sure do have a big, fat ass! Huh? It's not nice to say the word "ass", little girl. And it's also not nice to tell someone that they have a big, fat one. Can I suck your dick?

The Clown Brothers in "Shit-Shape" by biped 7-18-04

Hey, let's go on an ocean cruise, dick-licker! Okay, dog-dick breath! This cruising-around shit sucks! Let's shit on all the passengers! And then skullfuck the captain and piss on him after we shit on him, too! Later... Man, I sure did shit a lot during that cruise! Well, there were a lot of people to shit on! And that's not even counting our normal daily shits!

ZEUS' BUTTHOLE by biped 8-19-04

POOTY DOODY DOO!!! I JUST DOO-DOOED ALL OVER MOUNT OLYMPUS!!! OH, THANK YOU, ZEUS!!! DID YOU SMELL ZEUS' DOO-DOO YET? YES!!! HIS DOO-DOO SMELLED DIVINE!!! COME ONE, COME ALL!!! STEP RIGHT UP AND SNIFF MY SMELLY BUTTHOLE!!! IT STILL HAS DOO-DOO ON IT!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU BLITHERING FUCKHEAD!!!

The Playstation Of The Christ by biped 8-26-04

Not even devout Christians are immune to a hapless addiction to videogames... Tempt...TEMPT... Resist...RESIST... Ha-HA! CRUCIFIXION! OWNED! Pass cup from lips...PASS CUP FROM -- aaah, crap! Dialogue with God terminated! Heh! His ass is -- FUCK! RESURRECTION! Ascend-- ASCEND-- YESSS!!! SCOOOOORE!!!

Jerkin' Nine To Five by biped 8-27-04

I, uh...notice you're not wearing any pants today. Any particular reason? Well, sir...I like to masturbate while I'm at my desk... and not wearing pants increases my immediate access to my... err..."wiener." I see. And...do you masturbate at your desk often? At least once a day, sir... sometimes up to five times per day, if I'm really, really...you know..."horny." Ah. Well, clean out your desk. You're fired. Is it because of the frequent masturbating? Or are you still mad that I lost the Bickerson account?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Full Meal Deal by biped 9-10-04

See? I told you I'd pull my pants down if you didn't knock 15% off the price of those McNuggets. And if you don't throw in a free fried pie, I assure you the shorts are next. Good. I was wondering what your penis and testicles looked like.

The Awctual History of Rhode Island, Awctualleh by biped 9-04-04

Hawpy buhthday, sonny! I've bawght you a state to play with! Jolly good, eh wot? Harrumph! Oh, crikey! I'll name it Rhode Island, awfter our summah romping grounds in the Spiffingtons! And I'll name the capital awftah you, Fuck Face! And I'll name all the otha citehs awftah all my playfriends! It'll be smashing! Oh, splendid! "Hee haw", "woof woof" and all that tommyrot, egad! Look, me '37 Bentley, vroom-vroom! And so he did, naming his lovely new play-cities after his friends Fuck Face (later "Providence"), Ellsworth Barrington, Sarah Coventry, Lamont Cranston, Pip "Fizzy" Glocester, and Dickie Bristol. Oh, bother! I seem to have been summarily imprisoned! I understand we're to be executed at dawn! Well, cheerio!

Wisegoodfellaguys by biped 9-04-04

Da boss shows da new wiseguy aroun'... Ovah dere, dat's Johnny UFOs. Gee boss, why da dey call 'im Johnny UFOs? Cuz he tinks he seen a UFO once. An' ovah dere, dat's Frankie Pterodactyls. Gee boss, why da dey call 'im Frankie Pterodactyls? Cuz he read an article about pterodactyls in da newspaper once. Wow! Gee boss, can I be Tony Big, Sloppy, Reasonably-Priced Blowjobs?

The Priorities Of Todd by biped 9-25-04

This videogame is so great... it's making my penis hard... I'm on the 84th level... OMFG... I'm Superman... TODD! I want to have wild, unrestrained sex with you RIGHT NOW! GAAAAAAAA!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! YOU MADE ME MESS UP!!! AAARGH! Where'd that damn dog go? WOOFY!!! HEY! If you're going to fuck the dog, I wanna watch!

Toilet King by biped 10-06-04

Welcome to Toilet King, sir. Can I take your order? Ha-ha! I was just laughing at your joke menu...so, what does the "Shit-Burger" really have in it? It has shit in it, sir. Shit? REAL shit? But...but it doesn't really, right? I mean...that would be horrible... It's real, sir. I take a shit in the bun, and you get to choose your own toppings. YUCK...just give me a "cornhole dog" and a large "pissaparilla", then.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Non-Sequitur by biped 11-08-04

I'm sorry, but I just ran over your dog. Can I have a blow job?

Pickles by biped 10-12-04

This just in -- chimpanzee named "Pickles" accidentally elected Pope. Please, Pope Pickles... uh, The First... you're supposed to go out and address the masses now... come on... that's a good Pope... cooome on... Ooo-ooo-ooo...ooo-ooo...EEEEE!!! EEEEE-EEEEEE!!! OOOOOO-AAAAA!!! EEEEEE-EEEEEE!!! Thaaat's good...now make the little hand sign that I showed you...

Brainwash MEEP-MEEP Success MEEP-MEEP by biped 10-13-04

Glad to be on your day off from the mortuary? It's not so bad. I get to wallow in blood and guts, handle dismembered corpses, bask in the glorious, gory horror of -- I'm getting the giant rubber band. I'll get the atomic rocket skates.

DEADLY HOT COW by biped 10-13-04

MAN OH MAN! That cow is HOT! HUBBA-HUB -- NO! Stay AWAY from it! It's DEADLY! HERE IT COMES!!! NO!!! NO!!! HELLLLP!!! YAAAAAAAA!!! DEADLY HOT COW!!! Just...s-smile...and act casual...maybe it'll g-go away...heh, heh... Ha, ha...(gulp)...nice c-cow...nice deadly, hot cow...heh...h-heh...

Captain Chip And Debbie by biped 11-07-04

I'm almost there...almost there...OH! OH, YES! UH...UHH... UNNNNGGGGHHH!!! Thanks for allowing me to masturbate to you, Debbie! But...you missed the picture! Oh...well, I'll just go ahead and autograph it, then!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Los Tetas Grande Del Fabio (The Huge Manboobs Of Fabio) by biped 9-19-05

Mommy, I love Fabio's huge manboobs. Oh my god, no!!! NO!!! MY BABY!!! Dr. Feldfahrten, my Sally just told me -- (CHOKE!) -- that she love's F-Fabio's h-huge -- (GAG!) -- "MANBOOBS"!!! (GURGLE!) Well! The only treatment for this is an old one -- dunking in the public square and confinement in the stocks for a week. A week later... Mommy, I...I don't love Fabio's huge manboobs anymore... THANK YOU, PURITANS!!!

Billy by biped 1-10-05

What are you doing, dear? It's a bit past your -- Shut up, Mom, or the tiny Mel Gibsons won't appear. The tiny...Mel Gibsons? Any second now, my whole desk will be crawling with 'em. Honey, I -- Mom, your persistent interference hurts birds in space.

Captain Chip's Monstrous Lapse In Basic Human Decency by biped 12-03-04

Mister, would you please give me a dollar for some food? I'm starving to death...*sob* FUCK Y -- (wait a minute...this is my big chance for some positive publicity...) ...and you say you bought the little girl a HOT DOG? What a WONDERFUL HUMANITARIAN you are! Yes, heh-heh! And I didn't even demand full sexual intercourse in return! Just a simple, basic blow job! GUH...a b-blow job...? That's right! And to top it off, my protein-rich semen helped wash down the hot dog! Aren't I the greatest?

Father O'Mallard's Twin Brother by biped 9-19-05

Travis, I wish you wouldn't borrow my clothes while you're visiting for the weekend. Hey, bro -- it was YOUR dog that pissed in my suitcase, remember? Excuse me...I'm very troubled... would you please hear my confession? Huh? Sure! WHOA!!! You SUCKED his COCK? On a fucking FERRIS WHEEL? AWESOME!!!

Biff's Dream Date by biped 6-24-05

BIFF MCGURK! You've just won a DREAM DATE...with your OWN SHIT! I've...what? COME ON, Biff! Pound out a REALLY GOOD ONE! After all...it's going to be your DREAM DATE! UNNNFFF!!! I don't understand... Well, my own shit...uh, I guess...this is pretty romantic, huh...?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Yeah, thats pretty impressive on how far you've come.

Thanks for posting those. Great selection.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked them instead of hating them.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.