Sean Connery by Redeye 5-06-06

Wow Sean Connery i'm like your biggest fan!!! No i'm Abe Vigoda. I'm not some british guy who played in crappy movies. I starred in The Godfather the greatest movie ever made. Ohhhhh... Abe Vigoda I haven't seen you in any movies lately. And you weren't very good in The Godfather. 'clearing throat'

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Dogs life by Redeye 5-06-06

So what happen here? I'm tell'in ya i didn't kill da damn cat. Allright Well scum bag your going where you belong. To the cleaners because you know my fur is getting to smell really bad. So i told them i didn't kill the cat. Yeah and I told them i didn't kill roadrunner.

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Old people by Redeye 5-06-06

Well i guess when its my time its my time. No No i just came to get my money so u wouldn't die. Ohhh ok. Well lets see thats1 penny, thats 2 pennys, 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22. 'sigh' 23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,34,35,36,37,38,39,40.Ohh fiddle sticks i lost my place. Maybe i should just kill her before this gets any worse.

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Decision by Redeye 5-06-06

Sticky is ugly skiny single and stupid what does he have to live for ......??? Don't kill yourself you have a lot to live for. No i don't my wife just left and when i make love to hookers they close their eyes. So what your as ugly as sin just like crabby. That is pretty ugly. Yeah mabye your not right. I'm going to kill myself. Holyshit!!!

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Step on a crack, smoke Yur Mah's back by crabby 3-24-06

So, what the fuck are you gonna do today. I'm not sure, maybe smoke some crack. Crack? Yeah, maybe I'll just smoke some. Can you hook a bull up? Well, I can see what I might be able to do if I talk to some peeps who are looking to sell crack, worst case scenario you come back to my place and we can smoke a rock together and maybe fuck.

Elementary

So what did you do at school all day? We colored.

by crabby, 3-22-06

High School

I've been sitting here smoking this cigarette all day, dad. Isn't it a school day?

by crabby, 3-22-06

College

So what did you do at your fancy university all day? I checked strip creator while drinking some campus coffee and reading a non required book about abortion rights.

by crabby, 3-22-06

Wigger by crabby 10-23-05

Damn! I just got this new purple ribbon all-stars mix tape and shit is ice cold. I feel you on that. On the reals, killer mike and big boi and them all my niggas. I used to chill wit them around the way. Thas real cool. Whats your name anyways kid? John. Wack ass, faggot.

I'm trying to make my comics funny but very good

are these good

I HATE THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Redeye 5-06-06

Damn this game is hard. Shit, why can't I beat this guy! FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT I HATE THIS GAME ITS FUCKING GAY DAMMIT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT SO FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE COCK SUCKING WHORE I HATE THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Prejudice Grandma by Redeye 5-06-06

Hey granny what was it like when you a kid? Well you honey slaves were still allowed a your great grandma had a slave. Oh iI hate those damn niggers i hate niggers i hate niggers. ................ I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS!!! Whats a Nigger? Call them babboons honey.

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No Your Comics Are Not Good At All by crabby 5-06-06

I thought this was a thread for "Just comics" I just don't get it anymore. Shut the fuck up, you sucked in Lil Shop of horrors. I wasn't that bad. You weren't as good as Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop. Those movies suck. Yeah, well they are alot better than that movie Leprechaun.

I actually think your comics are getting worse.

UNUSED SNOW BENCH by Skabby_Firefly 1-07-02

Theater Phones by Skabby_Firefly 1-07-02

Clean Room by Skabby_Firefly 1-15-02

nobody home by Skabby_Firefly 1-05-02

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

somebody home by Skabby_Firefly 1-05-02

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

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eat pie, and curry too

The MYSPACE epidemic by bobby17 3-17-06

Ladies and gentle, I present to you...Sir Abe Vigoda..... Hello folks. I'm here tonight to talk to you about a serious problem going around the internet. Myspace predators. Now, I'm not just talking about the Pedo's I'm also talking about the pervs. I have had my own wife stolen from me by Myspace predators. Apparently she had some pretty intense rape fantasies and I don't have to tell you people this but, Myspace predators love to rape. Thats my own story. We have some more stories tonight for you to hear from men just like me who have lost their spouses to Myspace predators.

The MYSPACE epidemic by bobby17 3-17-06

This is Franklin from Brooklyn, he lost his wife to myspace predators..... I'm 62 fucking years old. I work 14 hours a day as a drywaller and digging railroad tunnels. I didn't even know we had a computer. Well, she was looking for young boys. Very young boys. She enjoyed having teenage men ravage her body. They would come over for orgies six or seven at a time. They were like stray cats.

The Myspace epidemic by bobby17 3-17-06

This is Ricardo in San Juan Puerto Rico..... Me and my wife, we had a pretty open relationship. We had been having threesomes, foursomes for years. No problems. I had a girlfriend, she had a boy friend, I had a boy friend, she had another boyfriend. Turns out she had taken a latina Myspace lover. She left me a broken man.

The MYSPACE epidemic by bobby17 3-17-06

This is Marty in Maple Falls Minnesota.... You know I used to be a real party animal. Funniest guy in the room, the most popular frat boy. Then I grew the fuck up and got my act together. My wife had added Gilbert Godfrey to her friends list and they fell madly in love.

The MYSPACE epidemic by bobby17 3-17-06

We now return to Abe Vigoda... Thats just those stories, we have over a trillion more. All shattered men and woman, who have lost their soulmates to Myspace. Forget about the kids, they aren't the only ones involved. Forget about the kids. Forget about the kids. Now, I can have all the kids to myself.

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I once was lost, but now am found.

3 by ElTigreMask2K 4-03-06

Your taking this really hard. I just never imagined that only dragons went to heaven. We kind of left subliminal clues everywhere. Where did you think we all went? When humans became plentiful, we created these heavens and lived happily ever after. Well... Yeah, that sounds about right.

5 by ElTigreMask2K 4-03-06

I understand I'm the only guy you've ever dated and I realize you want to test ride another cock. Excuse me, but were you talking to me? Oh, no, I was just practicing for when my significant other realizes that their bored in our relationship. Carry on.

6 by ElTigreMask2K 4-03-06

You know, I'm not a very religious man, but I can understand those men which are religious. I appreciate your view points and appreciate you not making a joke about me molesting young boys. I'm not here for easy jokes. I'm here for a serious theological discussion. I want to be a religious man, I just need to hear something, anything, some kind of proof, anything, to get me to believe. Did, you see that?

7 by ElTigreMask2K 4-03-06

You know man, we go all the way back to first grade. We've been through just about everything together. I just wanted you to hear it from me man, but I have AIDS and I might have given it to you. Your dad took the news pretty hard, he was speechless. I'm just glad that you got to hear the news directly from him and didn't have to find it out on the streets. Dad had a stroke 8 years ago and has been mentally retarded ever since. He has the mental capacity of a 2 year old. What is this news you speak of?

10 by ElTigreMask2K 4-03-06

I'm almost positive those zombies are gonna kill us and this could be our last five minutes as humans. Is she trying to send me a hint. 5 minutes later..... Well, I'm just gonna go outside and let the zombies eat me and hope one of them has the decency to rape me first. Brains? Did I blow my shot with Cindy back there?

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Menthol?