For CC 327, give us a cautionary tale concerning time travel. Only new comics will count, and no photoshops. Series are almost necessary, probably, but no more than five.

Extra points for using this character and/or this background in the strip/series:

CC 327 Template

by boloboffin, 7-15-06

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

TIME Travel by crabby 7-16-06

Son, I'm going to travel back in time and get into a fight with Jesus Christ just to prove once and for all that I'm the toughest banana. Be careful dad. Jesus was ripped. Ok, Time travel it is. Be careful.

TIME Travel by crabby 7-16-06

This doesn't seem like I've travelled back to the time of Jesus Christ. Who are you some sort of colored disciple? I'm actually the director of HR for this corporartion. Is there something I could help you with? Yes actually. Can you tell me what department Jesus Christ works in so I can punch him in the face. Why don't you just step into my office and we can get freak nasty. You aren't the first time traveller to come through. The year is 1972 and I'm so coked out of my mind thhat I could go for sex.

Time TRAVEL by crabby 7-16-06

SON! SON! I've returned from time travelling and I've got an erotic tale to tell. What's this erotic story you speak of? You're black! Sorry.

Did you mean a limit of five series or five strips per series? If it's the former, then I may add more.

CC327: Close to the Edge of Forever, part i by fpd 7-16-06

Stardate negative 65 million. We have traveled back in time to learn what killed the dinosaurs. Soon we will know. Captain, there appears to be a huge asteroid heading our way. We can survive only by beaming to the surface. Back in the present. Good day, Bob. Say, don't you know those things can kill you? Nothing's killed me yet, Bill.

CC327: Close to the Edge of Forever, part ii by fpd 7-16-06

What are we going to do now, Spork? The enterprise we came here on has been seriously compromised by the asteroid that destroyed our ship, the Interpose. If the Interpose had not come between that asteroid and earth, it would have hit earth, causing much destruction. Are you telling me that we may have stopped the dinosaurs from being killed off? Yes, we have violated the prime directive of time travel, and now we must make things right by killing the dinosaurs ourselves. But how can we do that? The Interpose has been destroyed, and our ray guns will eventually run out of juice. There is only one logical course of action. We must begin a lineage of humans with the goal of destroying the dinosaurs.

CC327: Close to the Edge of Forever, part iii by fpd 7-16-06

A lineage of humans? But who can we breed with? I had Yoeman Janice transferred when she wouldn't put out. Aren't you forgetting Urea, the communications officer? Didn't you two kiss once? Gee whiz, Spork. We were forced to by Dionysus. I'll do green chicks and purple chicks and even tangerine chicks, but black chicks? Ugg! This is for the good of the many, Captain. You must remember that the good of the many outweighs the good of the few. Yoo hoo, Mr. Spork. I couldn't help overhearing what you were saying about breeding. Come here, you stallion, and do the wild thing with me. Nurse Chappedlips, that would be a waste of time. Human and Vulcan DNA do not mix.

CC327: Close to the Edge of Forever, part iv by fpd 7-16-06

Who do you think you're fooling, Spork? I know you're half human. You know, I think I overlooked the possibility of traveling back in time to stop ourselves from stopping the asteroid. Can we really do that, Spork? Necessity is the mother of invention, and there's no way I'm going to do Nurse Chappedlips. Here goes. Captain, you have to change course before the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs hits the Interpose instead. Who are you? My double from the mirror mirror universe? Why should I believe a thing you tell me?

CC327: Close to the Edge of Forever, part v by fpd 7-16-06

Do you believe me now? Yup. You're me from the future. And here we are again, stranded in the past, but now there are two of us from alternate timelines. You know what this means? It means the multiple worlds theory of quantum physics is true. You didn't change the future. You just created alternate timelines. Wow, you're quite the know-it-all. Since you're my past self, I was worried that I couldn't kill you without killing myself, but I guess that's not a problem. And I don't have to worry about expiring shortly afterward if I kill you. So bring it on, Captain Cock. This world is too small for the two of us.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

RCL no. 1201 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-16-06

Oh..my...GOD! What's wrong, baby? You know how our son, Stickboy, Jr., went back in time? Well, he sent this letter to us from 1964, the year you were born... So..? So, apparently, you come from a long line of "professional women", a.k.a. WHORES! Why do you think I still charge you $100 per handjob? HELLOOOOOOOO??

Time Travelling to stop a RCLG no. 207 by crabby 7-16-06

Hey you don't know me, but I've travelled back in time to tell you that you will soon discover a website that lets you make your own comics. That sounds pretty cool. I could really have some great ideas-- No. You won't. You'll just use the random button and make a bunch of shitty comics. So, just avoid the site all together, k thnx bye! Back in the present... It didn't work. **More Gumby and guy getting hit in balls comics posted**

Clarification: no limit on entries, limit five strips per series.

Rock and Roll!

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

So any series which does not have 5 parts is DQ'ed or do you not want any series exceeding 5 parts?

CC 327: Father Tom and Cold-Hearted Santa Rule Clarification by boloboffin 7-17-06

Any series with more than five strips will be disqualified. Any series with five or less won't be disqualified because of having too many strips. However, being unfunny will disqualify even a series with only one strip in it. Umm, to be a "series", there needs to be at least two. Look, you're a non-corporeal character, so stop correcting my logic. Bet you wish you could go back in time and stop me from recording you choking on my non-corporeal dick, asswipe.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Groovy!- That Asshole Crabby Must DIE!!!!! by edoggydog 7-17-06

I'm going to jump in this time machine and go back in time to kill that asshole Crabby! I'll be back in one hour... Groo-fucking-VEE!! [Panel inserted to denote the passage of time] What do you mean he's not dead? Have you ever tried to kill a cockroach?

RCL no. 1202 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-17-06

Hey, Crabby... Yes, Zimri? You're a DICKHEAD! So, what else is new? And, I didn't need to go back in time to figure that out! I think I'll go kill some little, baby kittens now...

For this new series, I've switched from evolution to creationism. Let me emphatically state that I am not a creationist. I am really not.

CC327: Adam and Steve, part i by fpd 7-18-06

Hey fag! God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. I'm so sick and tired of hearing that. I'll just travel back in time and do something about it. So, God, if you give Adam a female companion, she's just going to seduce him into disobeying you, and then your own son will have to die. Oh dear, that isn't good. Who are you? And what are these things covering my body? My name is Steve. God made me as a companion for you from your rib. He gave us clothes so we wouldn't see each other naked.

CC327: Adam and Steve, part ii by fpd 7-18-06

God doesn't want us to see each other naked? It must be one of those things like the tree. He said it would be gay or something. I don't know what that means. Neither do I. But it is like God to know many more things than we do. At least he is taking care of me. So what do you do for fun around here? I've mainly been naming animals. Would you like to try it? Okay, I think I'll call that one over there a serpent. Don't you just love how the sound of that word rolls off the tongue? Sserrpent.

CC327: Adam and Steve, part iii by fpd 7-18-06

Hey, Steve, how's it going? It's been going pretty good, serpent, but I don't understand why God doesn't want Adam and me to see each other naked. Well, that would be gay, which means happy, and if you became happy, you would be as God. That doesn't sound so bad. Why wouldn't God want us to be happy like him? He doesn't want the competition. He likes being the head honcho. Thanks for the scoop, serpent. I think God is great, and it would be really cool to be like him.

CC327: Adam and Steve, part iv by fpd 7-18-06

So, Adam, if we see each other naked, we would be as God. Wouldn't that be cool? I don't know, Steve. God has so much responsibility. He hardly even has the time to come visit me in Eden. Please, Adam, won't you do it for meee? Sorry, Steve, but I'm just not motivated to. Why would one man ever want to see another man naked? Aren't you curious, Adam? How do you know you wouldn't like to see another man naked until you've tried it? Well, I'm a little bit curious. But we can't tell God about it, okay?

CC327: Adam and Steve, part v by fpd 7-18-06

Adam, Steve, why are you hiding from me? Did you see each other naked? I feel so ashamed, God. It was gross and disgusting. But it's not my fault. Steve tricked me into doing it. It's not my fault, God. The serpent lied to me. He said it would make me happy, but it only grossed me out. For your disobedience, you two are both barred from Eden, you will one day die, and that will be the end of the human race. So, you can eat the fruit of any tree from this garden except one. Sweet!

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

[IMG]http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h65/blachtree/babyj.jpg[/IMG]

i had to stop this series at four when i vomited a little bit in my mouth.

the times are a-changin... by AngryAmerican 7-19-06

So you're tellin me that i just walk down through that dorr and THAT'S the time machine you invented? That's right. Its chock full of quantum stuff. Fuck it. I'll give it a whirl. Set it for 5 minutes in the past so i can warn myself, will ya? Consider it done chrononaut. I'll see you in 10 minutes.

the times are a-changin... by AngryAmerican 7-19-06

Holy shit! It works! I fucking can't believe it either! ... ... Let's fuck the shit out of each other. You got it.

the times they are a changin... by AngryAmerican 7-19-06

these scenes of two 290 lb identical looking men having loathesome, grunting gay sex has been pixelated to protect the squeamish. however if someone were to invent a time machine, DVD's would soon become available. They would feature titles like "Lummoxes Gone Wild" and "Huge, Bald Freakfest 4"

the times they are a changin.... by AngryAmerican 7-19-06

Christ! That was the greatest sex i've ever had. That wasn't sex. That was masturbation. We were having sex with ourselves, right? Huh. Never thought of it that way. Ready for that blowjob? Thought you'd never ask.

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Kill Whitey.

CC327: The Bridge Across Forever, part i by fpd 7-19-06

Wow, what a looker! But I'll bet she's way out of my league. Hey Richard, I'm you from the future. That's your future wife you just passed by. Are you kidding me? I'm really going to marry Leslie Parrish, who starred in the Star Trek episode in which Kirk kissed Uhura? Yup, Scotty and Apollo were both gaga over her, and she's going to be all yours. I came back in time so you could get together with her sooner than I did. Wow, imagine me with the beautiful actress Leslie Parrish. Thanks a lot future me.

CC327: The Bridge Across Forever, part ii by fpd 7-19-06

Um, hi Miss Parrish, my future self just came back in time and told me that we would be married one day. Well, that's the strangest pickup line I've ever heard. Why didn't my future self come back and tell me about you, Richard? You know who I am? Well, of course I do. I'm working on the movie adaptation of your book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. So, when would you like to get hitched? Is Saturday good for you? You're really coming on too strong. We don't even know each other.

CC327: The Bridge Across Forever, part iii by fpd 7-19-06

Hi Richard, I'm you from the future. Yeah, we already met. That's right. I met the other future me when I was you. I hope I'm not too late. When future me told me that I would marry Leslie Parrish, I screwed things up royally. Are you telling me now that I'm not going to marry Leslie Parrish? You have to avoid hitting on her now and just let time take its course. It may be too late for that. I already hit on her, and she wasn't interested.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

RCL no. 1207 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-19-06

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Take that, BITCH! What the FUCK, dude?! "...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Can't you see I'm busy? BEAT IT! But, why are you dismembering BIPED? "...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Because, I just time traveled to the year 2007, and saw that he had won fifteen out of the next sixteen comic contests! KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER! KILL!!

CC 327: Asian Girls On A Time Traveling Rampage by niteowl 7-21-06

So we're supposed to go back in time for CC 327. Oh boy, won't that be a fucking blast. Sarcastic wench. Trollop. Fuck it, let's just stay here and call each other names. Sounds good, cunt.

CC 327: Asian Girls On A Time Traveling Rampage (2) by niteowl 7-21-06

Seriously though, we have to time travel for the contest. Where should we go? Well, the world will be ending soon, so let's jump ahead and try to save it. The world is ending soon...Where the fuck did you hear that? I visit a lot of religious websites, they're all talking about Armageddon and shit. Fuck it, I don't want to save the world. Let's go there anyway. People will want the sucky fucky before they're turned to ashes.

CC 327: Asian Girls On A Time Traveling Rampage (3) by niteowl 7-21-06

Where did you go? I went forward in time to find out who won CC 327. Big Evil Dan won, Kajun came in second, kaufman got third, and DexX finished 4th. Who the fuck are those guys? I don't know. I heard they were regs or something.

CC 327: Asian Girls On A Time Traveling Rampage (4) by niteowl 7-21-06

I wonder why those regs don't enter contests anymore. Maybe it's because the competition is so tough now.