Hey--it's "time" to finish this comic, everybody! ;)

And I do mean everybody. The penalty for failing to participate in this contest will be death by firing squad. And they'll be instructed not to kill you instantly, but to begin by slowly blowing your arms and legs off so that you'll suffer as long as possible. The final coup de grace will be administered by Carrot Top, but only after he has performed his entire backlog of "comedy" routines for you, which will probably take about twelve hours.

Have a fun "time"!

FTC 96: Template

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy?

by biped, 10-09-06

I will judge this contest whenever I feel it is the right "time" to do so. ;)

Well--"time" to begin! ;)

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I wasn't going to enter because I hate you, but I've decided to be bigger than that.

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quote:

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I wasn't going to enter because I hate you, but I've decided to be bigger than that.

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FTC96: Let's Do the Time Warp Again by crabby 10-09-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Whoa, I'm in like biblical times. I think that's Jesus. I think he had super powers or something! You know, dying on the cross is a pretty shitty super power.

Back to the Present by RedfeatheR 10-09-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuuuuumm... I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? ZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuuuuumm... I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy?

Back to the Present II by RedfeatheR 10-09-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuuuuumm... I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Nothing. Don't pull that switch yessir

I,TOBOR by AngryAmerican 10-10-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh--- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Holy Shit! A robot!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE ADOLESCENT TIME TRAVELER. I HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO RELISH THE SOUND OF SPLINTERING PELVIS. PLEASE REMOVE YOUR BUTTOCK COVERS... You want to buttfuck me!?! TOBOR PREFER THE TERM 'CORNHOLE', BUT .......YES.

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Kill Whitey.

Happy To See You by boloboffin 10-10-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh--- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? OooooOOOH! That's...not a switch, Elroy. Euw! It shot white stuff all over me! That's because it's a can of whipped cream. Where IS your mother? Why do you have a can of whipped cream in your pants, Daddy?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Let There Be Lawsuits by LuckyGuess 10-10-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh--- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? For that switch you apply lotion and move your hand up and down the shaft. Weekends with you are so much fun.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

FTC 96: Biped ate my baby by v 10-10-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Mommy and Daddy will get divorced and it will be all your fault.

FTC 96: El Horno Grande by boorite 10-12-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? The Mexicans will come and take Daddy's job. *click* SUCK MY DICK, BITCH!

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What others say about boorite!

CC - Science by crackpanther 10-12-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? So what's the short-eyes in 3c got by way of an alibi? Apparently his Member's Only jacket is a "mad scientist's labcoat" and he was wearing it to show his "son" how to work the "switch" on his "time machine". Haha time machine. Like in Napoleon Dynamite. Fuckin' movie was funny. Yeah that Mexican kid cracked me up.

JUDGE ALREADY!!!

CC - End It All by crackpanther 10-17-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? That turns off daddy's Iron Lung. Pull it, so the pain of waiting for this contest to be judged can end. Can I have an Iron Lung too, daddy? Only if you really, really, really want the pain of waiting for this contest to be judged to end. I think...I do, daddy.

biped, you're the greatest. *yes, this is my sucking up routine.* haha.

Mother, may I? by mattaotamato 10-17-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? That's the switch to turn off your mother, son. Harold, what's going on down here!?! Hurry up son! Pull the switch!

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"Common sense is not so common." Voltaire

FTC96 by HCRoyall 10-17-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Interrupt me again and it'll make me kill your kitten, Mopsie.

FTC96 by HCRoyall 10-17-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Okay, I'll judge this tomorrow. IF...

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I love you, biped.

FTC 96. Back to the 80's by Xuanwu 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? It'll turn this comic into a cliched retread of an 80's movie. Radical! Yank! This is heavy. Great scott!

1.21 jigawatts! (Or was it a mispronounced "gigawatts?")

FTC 96. Getting SMERSH-ed by Xuanwu 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Oh, that'll kill every man above 4 feet 6 inches in height and make all women beautiful. ... This was a commission from Woody Allen, wasn't it, Dad?

This is when we find out who the real Bond fans are in the crowd...

FTC96 by HCRoyall 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? ::click:: HEE HEE! ME AM DOG ON BALL! ME EAT SHIT NOW! HONK!! This is the best invention EVER.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Shrinkatize me, Capt'n! by mattaotamato 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Oh no, son! I have been saving that switch as an experiment. That's to miniturize who's ever in the bullseye. Damn it! Pull the lever back up. Sorry, Daddy. I'll pull the switch back up. Son, is your father down here? NOOO! Oh no! You just killed him!

INCEST by mattaotamato 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Oh no! That switch makes us switch places! Now I'm you and you're me. It's okay, son. Just play it cool upstairs around your mother. Harold, lets have madly passionate sex.

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"Common sense is not so common." Voltaire

ftc96:tmjf by arbi 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? You'll get parkinson's disease, or get cast on spin city.

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woof

There were so many great entries this time that it was very hard to judge, blah, blah, blah, but I had to pick a winner somehow, so right now I'm going to get on with the judging, if I would.

By the way, I just made a humorous ytmnd entitled "The Happy Clown's Funny Dance."

THIRD PLACE:

Back to the Present II by RedfeatheR 10-09-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuuuuumm... I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Nothing. Don't pull that switch yessir

SECOND PLACE:

FTC96 by HCRoyall 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? ::click:: HEE HEE! ME AM DOG ON BALL! ME EAT SHIT NOW! HONK!! This is the best invention EVER.

FIRST PLACE:

FTC 96. Getting SMERSH-ed by Xuanwu 10-18-06

Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh-- What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy? Oh, that'll kill every man above 4 feet 6 inches in height and make all women beautiful. ... This was a commission from Woody Allen, wasn't it, Dad?

I was very happy with the more-enthusiastic-than-usual level of participation in this contest, and presiding over it was my most treasured memory of recent times. As I said before, all of the entries were great, and I mean that more sincerely than anything I've ever said in my entire life.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I won? I won! First time ever! Whoo! Thank you, biped.

I shall work on a new starter comic post-haste.