They say nothing is certain in life except Death and Taxes, and so these are the themes for this competition. Obviously Im favouring death for this, although if any of you can prise a nugget of comedy out of governmental fiscal matters then by all means.

Ideally though Im after comics that in some way deal with death, its not a deal breaker but if you can get the Reaper involved that would be a plus.

No limits on entries although I will put a Two comic limit on old stuff, but please enter an original comic aswell if you do use your back catalogue.

Judging in about a weeks time.

James and Timothy MCsweeney-American Reapers at Large by AngryAmerican 5-02-08

Timmy I just don't understand what the big deal is, lad! Rake em in boyo! That's our fookin job! Listen carefully because I'm only going to say this one more time. I'M NOT DOING BLACKS ANYMORE. Don't be an asshole. A human soul is a human soul. What's the difference? Black souls smell funny. What?! Everyone smells funny when we come for them. And souls have nae smell a'tall! We're Death ya daft bastard! like sour wing sauce...

James and Timothy McSweeney- American Reapers at Large by AngryAmerican 5-02-08

Look. This whole racist thing doesn't make any sense. We are Alpha and Omega, we transcend mere race! Go fook yerself Jim. I'm only reaping white people from now on. Oh, so you aren't removing non-whites from the realm of the living anymore? Just gonna let em keep livin and breedin, takin up all that space white people could be using... You're a fookin asshole Jimmy.

James and Timothy MCsweeney- American Reapers at Large by AngryAmerican 5-02-08

Barkeep! Another round of drinks here please! Make mine a double. Ha! You've made me the Minority Reaper, I'm the one who needs a double! I told you mud people suck. Another round here. And if there isn't booze in these ones you're going to have a fookin short day! You smell like sour wing sauce boyo.

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Kill Whitey.

James and Timothy McSweeney- Deaths and Taxes by AngryAmerican 5-02-08

Hey Tim, why the grim face? Gosh. Grim. That one never gets old. Seriously, what's up? I just did my taxes. I owe $1569. Jesus dear fuck. Why do you owe so much? Apparently when I became the Caucasian Reaper I went up a few tax brackets.

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Kill Whitey.

Death and the certified public accountant by twreks1989 5-03-08

So how many aliens? Illegals?, um i don't know about a hundred i guess See you can write that off really? Yep patriotic actions are tax deductible, so you are only going to end up paying about $50. This is amazing, alright screw being lenient i am coming for you Pablo!!

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if i was six years old i would hate girls..... in a completely hetero way of course.

Jolly Jizzbo by biped 5-04-08

"Smeggy Sue, Smeggy Sue, pretty pretty pretty pretty Smeggy Sue--" "SMEGGY Sue"? *GAG!!* That's DISGUSTING!!! Hey, FUCK YOU!!! Who the fuck do you thing you are anyway, CUNT? I'm from the IRS! I'm investigating your TAX RETURNS! WHOA! Thanks for wasting that fuckin' whore, Death dude! No prob, Jizzbo! Hey, sing "Smeggy Sue" again! It's my favorite!

Helping Kids Understand Death 1 by biped 3-18-05

Mom, why did Woofy have to die? Well, Bobby -- death is just a part of life. It comes to all of us, sooner or later. Didja hear that, sis? Death is a part of life, and sooner or later we're all gonna be DEAD! NO, BOBBY, NO! I DON'T WANNA BE DEAD! Well, you're GONNA be dead, so you might as well SHUT UP and ACCEPT IT! NO!!! NO!!! WAAAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAAAA!!!

Helping Kids Understand Death 2 by biped 3-18-05

MAKE WAY! DEAD KIDS WALKIN'! DEAD KIDS WALKIN'! WE ARE THE DEAD! THE LIVING DEAD! Look, Bobby...a dead wino. Yep. That's us before long, sis...just a couple of cold, stiff, rotting corpses...food for the worms. I gave Bobby and Sally the old speech about death being a "part of life." It'll help them get over Woofy. Kids -- heh, heh. Too young to have any concept of their own mortality. How I often envy the carefree little tykes.

Helping Kids Understand Death 3 by biped 3-18-05

No use putting it off, sis. It's pointless to suffer the prolonged agonies of life, when, in the end, death is our only reward anyway. Yeah...we might as well get it over with now, if inevitable death is the sole purpose for living. Bye, Bobby. Your kids threw themselves under a train. They were both killed instantly. NO!!! BOBBY...SALLY... NOOOOOO!!! Now, dear. Death is just a part of life. It comes to all of us sooner or -- EAT SHIT, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! WAAAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Ed 'n' Edna by biped 5-05-08

WHEW! Finally got those fucking taxes done. And now I'm all set for some hot sex and some sweet, sweet orgasms. (BLUSH!) Oh, ED! (GIGGLE!) I'll put the kids to bed and run up and slip into something more-- Whoa, whoa, WHOA! I wasn't talking about YOU! I was talking about going out and committing a few juicy rape-murders out on the Interstate. GASP!!! You mean YOU'RE the dreaded I-20 MANGLER?!? Yep. And if you breathe a word of it to anyone, I'll kill the kids. YOU--YOU--well, just don't expect anything special for dinner tonight, "Mr. Leftovers."

Poor Little Sally -- 1 by biped 12-04-04

I'm dead, Mommy. Wha -- wh-why did you say that, sweetums? Because I was killed while you were at the store. I'm dead now. My body is in there -- in the bathroom. Y-your...BODY? Omigod -- SALLY! Why are you SAYING this to me? Bye, Mommy. I'm going up to Heaven now. NO! SALLY -- NO!

Poor Little Sally -- 2 by biped 12-04-04

I'm going up to be with God now. We...we'll get through this somehow, Edna -- we've GOT to. Oh, WAH-HA-HA!!! Her...her MANGLED CORPSE...it's all MY FAULT!!! WAH-HA-HA!!! *SOB!!!* Well, looks like the bastard's gonna get away scott-free, Lieutenant. God, I hate that. Sometimes you solve a case...and sometimes... sometimes you hate yourself just a little more...for the rest of your life.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Poor Little Sally -- 3 by biped 12-04-04

God...would you please make my Mommy and Daddy not feel so bad about me being dead? I'll try, Sally. Edna, LOOK -- FREE CABLE! Sorry, Marge -- I'm just not gonna be able to "get it up" for awhile. Self-hatred...flaring up... Oh, GAWD, what is it THIS time? Some fucking little BRAT get WASTED again?

Poor Little Sally -- 4 by biped 12-04-04

Ha-ha-HA! I got away with CHILD MURDER, and now I'm livin' in PARADISE! Those fuckin' PIGS can't TOUCH my fuckin' ass! Ha-ha-HA! This just in -- kangaroo picks up loaded shotgun, kills innocent man. Aww, the poor man. Well, fuck. And now, here's Chip with sports.

Poor Little Sally -- 5 by biped 12-04-04

Hi, Mommy! I'm an angel now! OH, SALLY!!! OH MY SWEETUMS!!! WAH-HA-HA!!! "This just in -- kangaroo picks up loaded shotgun, kills innocent man." COOL! Well Ed, I've gotta commend you...for FUCKIN' THE EVER-LIVIN' SHIT OUTTA ME last night! Well, Dick likes to fuck. Dick don't give two hot shits about my job-related bullshit.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 388: Mad reapist by NeoVid 5-05-08

I've been a failure my whole life, but even I can succeed at jumping to my death! Hey, wait! I'm not supposed to see you yet!! I've decided to show up early and save myself some time. But at least let me hit the grou- URK! My heart!! Loser.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

What the U.S doesn't wnat you to know by Zero21 5-07-08

Well, what happens here? This is where all the tax money is put to work, just follow me... AH! h-help.. me... GAH! I missed again! So you train a line of Grim Reapers? doesn't that lower the amount of taxes. No, we only get the really old ones, we make of for their loss via funeral costs. That gives us enough to train more. It's a vicious cycle...

RCL no. 1849 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-08-08

So, God... You're saying that the only guarantees in life are death and taxes? Yes. That sucks. Well, at least I won't have to worry about taxes once I'm dead. Guess again, fuckstick! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA...

Goo-Goo and Ying-Yang's Naughty Pranks 1 by biped 5-07-08

DID YOU--OR DID YOU NOT--steal Harry Chapin's corpse and stand him in the middle of the Interstate, thus needlessly traumatizing-- YES! YES! I honestly didn't think anyone would mind! "You see, it was just a funny joke..." "Well, the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon..." "...Little Boy Blue and the man in the OH MY GOD!!!!!! YOU BASTARDS!!! YOU'VE KILLED HARRY CHAPIN AGAIN!!!

Goo-Goo and Ying-Yang's Naughty Pranks 2 by biped 5-07-08

...and DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT then deliver Harry Chapin's corpse to the doorstep of a Mr. and Mrs. Edward J. Flonase and their two chil-- YES! YES! I was trying to brighten their day with the gift of laughter! "It was just a well-intentioned prank..." Yuck! Change the CD! I hate Harry Chapin! Uh-oh, Sis--if his ghost hears that, he'll come back and HAUNT you! Hey, there's the doorbell, answer it. Yes, can I help YAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAA!!!

Goo-Goo and Ying-Yang's Naughty Pranks 3 by biped 5-07-08

Well? Did you get convicted? Nah! I'm just a little girl! I pulled the old crying act and the suckers let me go, HA HAAAA! Remember Timmy? The creepy kid in our drawing class? He choked to death on a fishbone. Hey, let's reunite him with his mom! We'll use our walkie-talkies this time, and... Yes, can I help--Timmy? OH MY GOD!!! TIMMY!!!!!!! (*skrrrkk*) WHY--DID--YOU--LET--ME--DIE--MOMMY--

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Death's Taxes by crowspeaker 5-08-08

Well, any money you take off the corpse would have to be reported as additional income. Like tips?

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Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

The popular clique at Reaperside High School by AngryAmerican 5-09-08

Hey Trailer Park, why don't you kill someone with money? Did your Mommy get your cloak at Wal-Mart? It looks like your scythe is made out of tin foil! You call that a cowl? Your family's so poor I'll bet you only get to kill Mexicans! sigh

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Kill Whitey.

I guess this puppy didn't fly, I'll give it a day or so more then close the book on it, so if you do want to get your last minute entries in then by all means.

Devil With A Blue Dress by choadwarrior 5-11-08

I'm tired of my taxes going to support this needless war. I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said, "No one died when Clinton lied." Except for that thing the French call, "Le petit mort."

Bob and Jim (7) Death by Taxes by El_Phen 5-12-08

Say Jim, have you ever had any trouble with the tax people? Only, I recieved a court order asking me to appear as a witness for the defence for you on Tax evasion charges. I hoped it wouldn't come to this Bob but I've got no choice. I declared myself dead six years ago and now the damn government want their share. I need you to testify that I'm actually a zombie of me. A Zombie!? Jim, no jury in their right mind will believe that. They will once they meet the 'Necromancer' responsible for my un-death. I am NOT going to pretend to be a necromancer and purjer myself for you Bob! Fine, in that case I'll need eight pints of pig's blood, a blow up doll and your car. Oh and from now on my name is 'Steve' and I just arrived from Head Office to shake things up!

Well, this competition has literally been inundated with entries, and so its taken me a long time to decide, but decide I have. 

Honourable Mentions go to

Angry American and Choadwarrior 

but on this occasion Im throwing the baton to the new guy

Death's Taxes by crowspeaker 5-08-08

Well, any money you take off the corpse would have to be reported as additional income. Like tips?

 

Congratulations Crowspeaker.  A Winner is you!

Dawn of the Deductable by TheGovernor 5-13-08

Aww Damn it! *BRAINNNS*...Wait, what's up Death? You're classed as the living dead, and it is hard to clarify that on my income tax statement. I suppose I could mark you down as a capital asset but that means entering a higher tax bracket. *sigh* You could put my soul down as an Involuntary Conversion and then make an Itemized deduction on any future zombies you claim which would exempt your liability. Wow, how do you know so much ? I bit an accountant last week. He tasted a little like chicken, but he did sort out my Estate Tax.

thanks for the nod. You made the right choice.

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Kill Whitey.

Whoohoo! I win!

I promise to be benevelont during my reign.

Thanks, TheGovernor.

How long do I have to name the next contest?

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Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?