BRAFF!

Subject: THE HUMAN SOUL

Rules:

Only one old comic allowed (counts as half credit)

No photoshop... unless you want to (counts as half credit)

Any entry submitted that gets less than 100% credit will not be counted as an entry

Series' welcome

-- red

soul's your mother by dcomposed 6-25-08

Did you get a chance to listen to my new rap yet? Yeah. You said it was a soul song but it's gangsta rap. Well when I do gangsta rap it is like a soul. How? It's all bullshit.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

it's soul I can do by dcomposed 6-25-08

How long does it take a soul to get to Heaven? What? If you die but you're brought back to life, does your soul go to Heaven and you get to see what it's like then you have to come back? Didn't you like the football I got you?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

The Human Sole by christopher7murphy 6-25-08

My soles are killing me! The human soul must be fed. Positive energy results in a positive soul. I work and work at it....yet my soles show every sign of bitterness and corruption. How bad can it be? See for yourself. Smell 'em! Ewww! You're definitly going to burn!

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

CC393: The Price of a Soul by fpd 6-25-08

Hey, man, do you believe we have souls? No, of course not, that's just silly superstition. Then would you sell me your soul? I'll give you a whole dollar for it. No, I wouldn't. What's the problem? Aren't I offering you a free dollar for nothing? Wouldn't you come out ahead? I would just feel bad about cheating you. One dollar is such a paltry amount. I couldn't feel good about being dishonest unless it were for a whole lot more.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

RCL no. 1872 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 6-27-08

*ick* Hey, Gary... What do a donkey's spirit and that Simon guy from American Idol have in common? GARY HAVE NO IDEA. They are both "ass-SOULS"! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA GARY WOULD LOVE TO MEET THAT SIMON GUY SOMEDAY. WAIT. DID GARY SAY, "MEET"? GARY MEANT, "EAT". I could go for a monster stack of waffles myself!

RCL no. 1873 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 6-27-08

What the..? Who are YEW? I represent all those poor souls you let die over the last six years, Mr. President... THERE WERE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, GODDAMMIT!! Uh...yeah! I'm not talking about Iraq, sir. I'm talking about the Ameri-cans on your southern border who are being murdered daily by illegal Mexican drug runners. Sir. Oh... [ heh, heh ] Well, if we give them amnesty, they won't be illegal, will they? It's taking all my will to not smite thee, sir...

cc393: Book of Cosmogony CH III v.18-22 by mandingo 6-27-08

Mr. Krieg, have you ever thought about the human soul? oh, sure, Josh. the way i see it, the idea of a soul continuing after our physical form dies is flawed. it's comforting, and arises from our fear of death, but just not true. once you accept that... then it just becomes the old mind-body problem, right? am i the sum of my neurons? do i have free will or is everything predetermined? that kind of thing. exactly. the soul then becomes an expression of the gestalt whole that the sum of the parts fails to capture. it's almost as if chaos theory wrestling with causality is the essence of our existence. and that's why we're raping these 3rd graders? and that's why, Josh. and that's why.

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what if nigger meant kite

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Batman created by Bob Kane

CC393 by bike 6-30-08

say something funny, man - I want to win this comic competition dammit, you're stupid - this competition is about the soul, not about sole... I'm a fish, asshole - I don't know how to read how can you not know how to read? you fucking live in a school...

CC393: If Catholics Did Abortions, part 1 by fpd 6-30-08

Welcome to the Sisters of Singing Saint Margaret Abortionarium. First we will take a sonargram to determine the sex of your fetus. Um, okay. You have a baby girl growing in you. What would you name her if you were going to keep her? Do I really have to name her? This would be so much easier if she remained nameless. It's really important. How about Mary Jane? No, I think I'll call her Gwen Stacy.

CC393: If Catholics Did Abortions, part 2 by fpd 6-30-08

Please have a drink of water, Miss Doughnut. Okay. Now, little one, with this water your mother has swallowed, I baptize thee Gwen Stacy Doughnut. You're baptizing my fetus? Of course. Otherwise, she would go to Hell. Now we can get on with the abortion. Hallelujah.

CC393: If Catholics Did Abortions, epilogue by fpd 6-30-08

Welcome to Heaven, Gwen Stacy Doughnut. Let's look you up in the book of life. Ah, only original sin, and that was washed away by your baptism. * glibble * Hi, Gwen. Heaven is a wonderful place. You'll love it here. * goop gaw * You know, Gwen, Heaven just doesn't seem to agree with you. Although you were baptized, you clearly haven't been born again. * gip goo *

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

The origin of "Cornhole" by RedfeatheR 6-30-08

TOBOR WANTS ASSHOLE Too Goddamn bad! You're a robot so no soul for you! RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU! heh, oOOoooOn second thought, what do I know about semi-sentient souls?

Souled Out Sally by biped 7-01-08

Ow! Mommy, my soul hurts. Oh, ha ha...your soul can't hurt, silly. (How cute!) I can't wait to add this one to my "Sally's Cute Sayings" journal. Yeah, well I think you're fulla shit.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

RCL no. 1875 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-01-08

Hey, Gramps... What happens when we die? Our souls go to heaven... ...unless you've lived a life of debauchery and sin, like molesting retarded children or raping homeless illegals or butt-fucking three-legged dogs. Are you going to heaven when you die? No comment.

Oldie:

Kendal Mint Cake by TheGovernor 4-22-03

Ive made some bad choices in my life For example? 1991 I'd sell my soul for a Game Boy Done. See you in 57 years time 1993 I'll give you my Game Boy if you let me touch your breasts Okay

Newie:

CC393:- Soul'd out by TheGovernor 7-02-08

Say Ernie, do you believe in Reincarnation? Of course, theres like this Buddhist league table, live a good life and your soul will reincarnate into a better creature like a butterfly or something. But what if I live a bad life? Well your soul will probably come back as something much worse. What like an American? Precisely.

Judging this weekend

I thought I told you not to.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

Billy in "Soul Brutha" by biped 7-03-08

All right class, today you will all read aloud your themes which I asked you to write about "The Soul." Billy, you'll go first. DAMN IT, Mom, you always make me go fucking first. Fuck! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!! Sent to your room again, eh? Yeah. I had to hitch a ride with some scary guy who looked like a serial killer. But I bailed out before he could kill me. Guess what, Billy! A boy said the "F"word in class today and got sent home. That was me, dumbass.

Billy in "Soul Brutha" (alternate version) by biped 7-03-08

All right class, today you will all read aloud your themes which I asked you to write about "The Soul." Billy, you'll go first. Damned to hell, my accursed soul will writhe in agony with Adolf Hitler, joined as one by our eternal hatred of the Jews. Sent to your room again, eh? Yeah. I was drawing a blank on that stupid theme so I had to bail. Does your soul ever hurt, Billy? Sometimes mine does. That's because you're adopted.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 393: Awkward Soul by deathtoradio 7-06-08

Daddy, what's a soul? It's your spiritual body, honey. Do I have a soul? Sure, it's stored in your body and then leaves it when you die. Mommy says your soul is stored in your penis. No, no, sweetie. That's where mommy says I store my brains.

Ash Wednesday 1 by biped 7-06-08

When the funeral home said Mother's ashes were being delivered, I thought... ...well, I guess I thought they'd be in a decorative urn or something. Oh well, at least her soul's in a better place. I'll get the Hoover. Use a new bag. We'll empty it into that cannister set she liked.

Ash Wednesday 2 by biped 7-06-08

Look, Billy! Somebody spilled a whole bag of kitty litter on the floor! I'll get the pooper-scooper and stick it in the cat box! Mom'll be so proud! Well, here's the bag. What happened to--GAAAAAAAAAA!!! NO, KITTY, NO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! Think of it this way, dear. Your mother loved cats. And--her soul is in a better place. Well, DUH! As long as it isn't floating down the SEWER with a bunch of CAT TURDS!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Honorable mention goes to fpd for

CC393: If Catholics Did Abortions, epilogue by fpd 6-30-08

Welcome to Heaven, Gwen Stacy Doughnut. Let's look you up in the book of life. Ah, only original sin, and that was washed away by your baptism. * glibble * Hi, Gwen. Heaven is a wonderful place. You'll love it here. * goop gaw * You know, Gwen, Heaven just doesn't seem to agree with you. Although you were baptized, you clearly haven't been born again. * gip goo *

as it parallels at least one paragraph of my soul rant
 
And the winner of CC393 GOES TO... TheGovernor!
The Gov would have won for:

Kendal Mint Cake by TheGovernor 4-22-03

Ive made some bad choices in my life For example? 1991 I'd sell my soul for a Game Boy Done. See you in 57 years time 1993 I'll give you my Game Boy if you let me touch your breasts Okay

but it's old and I wrote the rules wrong. He wins with:

CC393:- Soul'd out by TheGovernor 7-02-08

Say Ernie, do you believe in Reincarnation? Of course, theres like this Buddhist league table, live a good life and your soul will reincarnate into a better creature like a butterfly or something. But what if I live a bad life? Well your soul will probably come back as something much worse. What like an American? Precisely.

as an amendment
 
Take it away

Woo! Cheers Mr Red.

New compo up soon.