crabby
I have an awesome avatar.
Member Rated:

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| Good day maddam, my name is Charles and I am here today to talk to you about the wonders of charcoal. Do you currently own any charcoal ma'am? | |
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| No, I can't say that I do. | |
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| HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT TO COOK! HOLY SHIT YOUR HUSBAND WILL DIVORCE YOU IF YOU CAN'T COOK! | |
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| People just don't appreciate charcoal as much as they should. | |
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| Honey, bad news. It was another tough day at work. Didn't sell a single bag of charcoal. How was your day? | |
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| I bought a great gas grill on Ebay for eleven dollars. | |
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| Why? Why do you insist on breaking my heart? The public is naive about the wonders of charcoal now, but I will enlighten them! | |
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| Charcoal is a dying industry. Theres not a person alive who wants to grill with a fossil fuel. | |
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| Charcoal is made from trees. | |
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| What are you thinking about? | |
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| I remember I once made love to an immigrant worker during the depression. John Steinbeck wrote a book about it. | |
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| Thats amazing! Steinbeck wrote a book about my mother having an affair with an immigrant worker during the depression! | |
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| Do you think maybe I'm your mother? | |
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| No, I just think Steinbeck wasn't very creative. | |
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| Do you plan to thrash me with that whip? | |
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| I do! In fact while you were uttering those words I hit you 47 times. | |
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| Did you ever think that maybe I am also carrying a whip? | |
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| I just hit you another 53 times. | |
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| Holy shit! Internal bleeding. | |
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| Gabe, we've known eachother for awhile now. Can't we just find some sort of friendly way to end this? | |
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| No, perhaps if we list the good things about us we can decide. I have this cat, great hair, I'm punny and I'm the one running this event. | |
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| I'm bald, I have a hot wife, a cute baby, I'm a total bad ass, I once built a fake vagina out of wood and your event sucks balls! | |
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| Oh, did I mention the time John Cusack sat in my high school chemistry seat while filming High Fidelity? | |
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