Circumvention by Aylear 3-25-09

So, how's the quest for understanding humans? Perpetually fascinating. For instance, do you know what anal beads are? So, how's your ability to recognize when someone is desperately changing the topic? Still underdeveloped. Why?

Now that I have your attention, hello and welcome. I'm Aylear, author of Comics so profound you have to Google half their content, Inc., and this is my hopeful debut.

In this thread I will be jotting down comics and series of mine worth a glance, or simply for my own use. I have a fairly specific favoured style and humour, and so my comics are often based in intellectuality, science, math, philosophy, physics, language, literature, and - occasionally - Shakespeare and anal beads. A lot of comics also contain a multitude of references to anything and everything, and it's fun to see who notices. I have an atypical and, I've been told, unique style all my own here on clipart-based Stripcreator, which is pretty damn cool and as fun a compliment as I could have asked for. Thus, if you don't like my comics, well -- sorry to disappoint, and I'm not surprised.

On the off chance you're into unusual humour, hopefully you'll find something you like. I appreciate any comments you can send my way, and please vote if you can be buggered. I'll stick around until my inspirational well runs dry.

And just because a debut isn't complete without a little alienation:

Paradise by Aylear 3-26-09

Rapture. Believers will suddenly, without warning, disappear from Earth in the twinkling of an eye, and go to reside in the house of the Lord for all time. That'd be the most awesome thing ever. Dibs on the Popemobile.

Ta.

Dramatis personæ:

Main players
Ayl, mathematician, physicist, linguist, theoretician, and the second coming of Dan. No one knows who or what Dan was, nor why it requires a second coming
Coleoptera Bailey, (Bail); theoretician, artisan, and cohort of Ayl
Apod, the Anthropomorphic Personification Of Death and Creator of Pregnant Pauses
Dean, his less successful half brother
Dead People, Dead People

Others
Fayle, librarian, scholar, genius, and completely unaware of any of it
Maximillian, Fayle's normal half and Keeper of the Tome

______________________________________________________________

 Ayl and Bail.

Objectional by Aylear 3-18-09

Ah! 'Tis my good friend, sir Bailey. How's it going, there, Bail? Not too good, Ayl, my friend; not too good. The two wonderful young lasses I became acquainted with over the course of yesterday's ball... ...were arrested at my apartment today for smuggling comic books. Alas, it turns out that ol' Bailey was courting criminals all along.

My first comic is awful for a whole different reason.

Intermission by Aylear 3-18-09

And now for something completely different. Hllblblblp! Iiibliib cblan'tmn blreambhtle! Wblyy wobln't anmlyonebl hllllblp mbleeb?! Thank you, Steve Irwin. Anglerfish are indeed majestic creatures. In other news: The increasing number of videogames for younger children.

Augury by Aylear 3-19-09

Salutations, Ayl. What news? Our friend, the Anthropomorphic Personification of Death, is piloting his first commercial flight and has invited us along for the trip. He has been practicing in Microsoft Combat Flight Simulator. I'm going to go reinvent the parachute now. Righto.

Predilection by Aylear 3-19-09

So, my cohort. Though I hesitate to invade upon your privacy, I feel obligated to inquire. You seem a bit despondent. What ails you? Ah, only the ailment of loneliness. My recent loss still burns - not a flame, but an ember unwilling to expire. Ahh, yes. As you are prone to do, you still dwell on the ones that got away. "The ones that were forcibly taken into custody by policemen", more accurately - but yes. Oh, we shared something in our brief time together, Ayl; we truly did. You finally found a red-haired six foot three tall African-Asian woman with a five foot four quiet friend from Wyoming? And how.

Cipher by Aylear 3-19-09

What does it look like I am doing? I will deal with my temporary sorrow playing my old copy of Street Fighter II. Such counterproductive banality. Despair cannot be processed unnaturally - not even with ethanol. Only drowned. You waste your life and your time down here; time you will never get back. What was the cheat code again? Down, R, Up, L, Y, B.

Death And All His Friends.

Quietus by Aylear 3-19-09

That seat is taken.

Mori by Aylear 3-19-09

Hello, Ayl. I have been... expecting you. Top of the morning to you, too, Apod. But it's 'waiting for', not expecting. Ah. I am still unaccustomed. Then, I have been... waiting for you for a long, long time, Ayl. You really can't help that, can you? I do not believe I know what you mean, transient.

Deadpan by Aylear 3-19-09

Well, I apologise for keeping you waiting. I am used to it. Was that humour? I am not sure. I could not tell over the sound of your aging.

Discretion by Aylear 3-19-09

Well, Apod, when is your big flight? Not deliberately. I wasn't asking if you are going to crash the plane. You didn't have to. You have aged five years since I asked you to come.

Misinterpretation by Aylear 3-19-09

Your humour has improved. Thank you. Humour seems to ease the transition. I am not a proficient judge of human emotions, but I believe the familiar composition of the jokes provide some comfort. Like so: Knock knock. Who's there? Lucifer.

 Fayle and Maximillian.

Recantation by Aylear 3-20-09

Buenos días, Max! 'Sup, Fay! Haven't seen you in weeks, what's been keeping you? Sorting out a really big mess. It's a long story; I don't want to bug you with it. I've got time. Well, I'm in love with this person who's in love with this other person, who likes this girl who happens to be my best friend. And we all have PMS. Whoah, I meant, look at the time.

Cultivation by Aylear 3-21-09

Pnakotic Manuscripts... Works of the Mentat... Junior Woodchucks Guidebook... A Treatise on the Binomial Theorem... Al Azif... Book of Mazarbul... Ellipses and How to Avoid Their Overuse... Score! The Big Bang Theory: A Personal View by Eccentrica Gallumbits, The Triple-Breasted Whore of     Eroticon Six!     So, what did        you find?        The demise of respect and tolerance for fellow human beings.

Reprisal by Aylear 3-21-09

I wonder if the Big Rip hypothesis is correct. Imagine: The ultimate fate of our universe is to continue expanding until even atoms rip apart. The concept is staggering. As if the human mind could ever put it into perspective well enough to realize that all our personal feuds are meaningless. I don't care about the future of the human race, I just want to be alive to see it! If we are, I hope it affects your bra first! Bow-chicka-- --aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Hi Fayle. Where's Max? Dangling from a light bulb by his testicles.

Propriety by Aylear 3-21-09

Thanks for helping me back down. Debating with myself isn't nearly as much fun as debating with someone who is endlessly wrong about everything. Is that the warm compassion of another human being I feel, or the third degree burns on my jewels? So what was that you were saying about how all our personal desires and feuds are meaningless? Yeah, it's fascinating; look, I'm resigned to going to hell, but I'd like to get there wearing pants.

 Ayl and Bail.

Esoteric by Aylear 3-21-09

Morals and values. I tend to not like it when you have these insights. Just musing. You must admit, the only reason we even have those words is so that the majority can impose them upon the minority. Our society, our rules. The majority getting what they want is the basis of society, and most of what we want we do because of genetic programming. Reproduction, habitation, self-preservation... I stopped believing in evolution when I realized the most prosperous humans are the brainless ones. I can never decide if you're a genius or a dumbass.

Derision by Aylear 3-23-09

I've decided to design a functional reactionless drive. I'll need your help to build it. Aah, my old enemy Conservation of Momentum; we meet again. The trick is to bypass the law of conservation of momentum while letting no energy escape the device by designing non-Euclidean geometric shapes to contain and accelerate the energy. Is this where you start explaining your science in layman's terms so the everyman can understand it? No, I have no plans to reveal it to NASA. Pity. I was looking forward to the demonstration with the orange, the aluminium box and the airosol spray can.

Paradox by Aylear 3-23-09

The alternative is, of course, to construct an Alcubierre drive. Though I share your boundless enthusiasm for theoretical propositions, I feel I must inquire about your sudden interest in advancing space flight propulsion. A Nobel Prize coin in a velvet box would make a nice paperweight. Well, unfortunately for us an Alcubierre drive would be impossible to construct without an Alcubierre drive. Joseph Heller, I believe, called this a Catch-22. Your noble goal may have to wait. I don't mind breaking the laws of physics. Neither do the breasts of women in videogames, and they're not winning any Nobel Prizes.                    Unfortunately.

Humourist by Aylear 3-24-09

I was going to prove the existence of God. But every time I went online to do research on Genesis, the Bible web sites would all collectively and invariably crash my browser. In the end, I had to resort to translating a Norwegian Bible into English using Babel Fish. So, all in all, I've at least conclusively proven that if there is a God, he has a fantastic sense of humour. I could have proven that just by pointing at you.

 Leftovers.

Lunacy by Aylear 3-18-09

Unveiling: The First Quadrennial Lunar Olympics

Where Are They Now

Rook to C7, checkmate. Shit. Best (3.5 x (10^42))+1 out of (7 x (10^42))?

by Aylear, 3-24-09

Peculiar

Meanwhile, genius supervillain Professor Defenestration moves into his new orbital space station. Minutes later, he accidentally moves back out.

by Aylear, 3-24-09

Scholyrical by Aylear 3-26-09

And as I sit 'neath light of night No sun; no moon; no star in sight yet you excite, for in that light of night your smile I still can see; and with that smile - my fears undone - I thank old Thomas Edison, who credit stole - from Dave and Swan - for famous bulb that shines with glee. That selfish cunt.

 Fayle and Maximillion

Acumen by Aylear 3-22-09

So, I've decided to prove P equals NP. I've been wondering when you'd get around to doing that. Why? I want to be able to extrapolate events by looking at the end result before it happens. That's not P = NP, that's time travel. So, I've decided to build a time machine. Good idea. Your ability to tell the difference will come in handy in the days to come.

Recondite by Aylear 3-25-09

Astrophysics joke! Where does infancy and alcohol mix? I dunno. In a stellar nursery.

Physical by Aylear 3-26-09

I was planning this threesome with this beautiful girl. Then I realized she meant two guys. In the end, we just couldn't make it work. Unsolvable three-body problem, huh?

OBSCURE PHYSICS JOKE ALERT

 Death And All His Friends.

Parting is such sweet sorrow by Aylear 3-25-09

By and by, I come:— To cease thy strife, and leave carefully planted landmines 'neath thy feet. Wha-- There has got to be a better way to break the news. I'm open to suggestions.

Nescience by Aylear 3-25-09

I didn't know you like Shakespeare. Oh, yes. When I came for him on his birthday, he even beseeched God to bemute my mephitic presence. You do not know what that means, do you? Not if I can help it.

Circumvention by Aylear 3-25-09

So, how's the quest for understanding humans? Perpetually fascinating. For instance, do you know what anal beads are? So, how's your ability to recognize when someone is desperately changing the topic? Still underdeveloped. Why?

 Ayl and Bail.

Paradise by Aylear 3-26-09

Rapture. Believers will suddenly, without warning, disappear from Earth in the twinkling of an eye, and go to reside in the house of the Lord for all time. That'd be the most awesome thing ever. Dibs on the Popemobile.