From Wikipedia:

"Herbie is an anthropomorphic Volkswagen Beetle, a character that is featured in several Disney motion pictures starting with the 1968 feature film The Love Bug.  Herbie is distinguished by red, white and blue racing stripes from front to back bumper [and] a racing-style number "53" on the front trunk lid, doors, and engine lid."

So, here's the scenario:

The year is 1967.  Disney wants to do a movie where they bring an inanimate object to life.  After dozens of auditions, they go with Herbie, who is a Volkswagon Beetle with, evidently, a lot of love to give.

Your mission is to introduce us to the otherwise-inanimate objects that didn't make the cut, and possibly even show us why they didn't.  Below is a hideous example, try and be funnier than it:

OPC53: It's No Herbie

From the Disney vault: Audition reel from Beatrice The Love Missile (1966) Oh Rod, take me into your arms! We shall defy the odds and I will bear you lots of beautiful children! This is a Disney movie, ma'am. We can't be showing ungodly abominations like childbirth.

by ZMannZilla, 6-29-10

Basic rules apply, keep it to one panel and old comics are OK.  I'm also going to allow Photoshop, since this will expand the number of amusing objects that could be used.

Judging will commence on or around Saturday, July 10 2010.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

You said any inanimate objects, right?

CTC #6: Timmy the Tampon in Disney's Casting Couch Cuties

You know you can always depend on me when you're bleeding profusely out of your- Next!

by NooniePuuBunny, 6-30-10

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

OPC 53: Live, Freeze Or Die

Sorry, Mr. Disney, we couldn't get permission from Unilever to go forward with "Herbie the Good-Humored Popsicle". Go back to your cryotorium.

by kaufman, 7-02-10

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

OPC53: Rejected Disney Characters

You just can't get past the name thing, can you? You're great, but I'm afraid we can't use you, Mousey.

by NickNumber, 7-05-10

Gone is the Age of Innocence

Now what gave you the idea we here at Disney made a film about floral scented condoms? You mean a "flubber" is something else?

by ragu4u, 7-05-10

OPC53: A Spoonful of Sugar Smacks

Hello, I'm Nanny Telly, here to cheer up and entertain the kids for hours and hours while their parents are too busy for them. You know, I love it, I love it, and you're absolutely hired! Just not for the movie, because the theatres might not want to carry the movie. But, yes, we'll be working together very closely.

by fpd, 7-08-10

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

OPC53: Another Time

Trust me, Walt, no inanimate object is more fun than a Unix terminal. The kids will be thrilled by my crazy hijinks. I'm a visionary. I really am. But computers and terminals? Kids can't relate to that! It's not realistic enough.

by fpd, 7-09-10

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

It was an incredibly tight race, and I've spent the last couple days deciding if Kaufman or FPD got the win.  Finally, I'm going with FPD for his last comic.  Everyone else did a great job though, and I was really happy with the way this contest came out!  Thanks everyone, and take it away FPD!

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."