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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC 480: Non-Brass Monkey

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thatsnotfunny
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

For CC 480 you are to follow the essential rhythm of the Beastie Boys.  Their formula is described pretty well in this improv wiki page:

http://wiki.improvresourcecenter.com/index.php?title=Beastie_Boys_Rap

(Note: If that isn't clear enough, you can give "Fight for Your Right to Party" a listen to refresh your memory.)

In each panel, the character on the left starts the rhyme and the one on the right finishes it.  One panel can break this rule if neither character speaks.  All lyrics must be original and not part of a published Beastie Boys song.

One more thing: the monkey character must make an appearance, in space helmet or without.  But you are prohibited from using the word "brass".

CC 480 (sample): Sabotage by thatsnotfunny
6-29-11
Got locked up in a zoo and it feels like JAIL!
Looks like they caged me up... with another MALE!
Those pandas are endangered so they try to make 'em SCREW!
I heard the panda's gay... buddy, how 'bout YOU!?

Bonus points for using the monkey in exactly one frame, if it still winds up making sense or being funny in some way.

6-29-11 10:45pm (new)
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ZMannZilla
Ex-Zombie Hunting Dad Creature

Member Rated:

CC480: The Beastie Beasts In "Animal Farm - The Rap Song" by ZMannZilla
6-30-11
You better have four legs, 'cause we hate BIPEDS
We don't wear CLOTHES, we don't sleep in BEDS
We don't drink BOOZE and you know we don't KILL
And we treat one another as completely EQUAL
We're kind of gullible, and by pigs MISLED
This shit be whack, read Jungle Book INSTEAD

---
"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

6-30-11 12:46am (new)
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choadwarrior
Crash Magnet

Member Rated:

The Bestiality Boys by choadwarrior
7-02-11
I like to ride horses, but I not on a saddle.
This is one hunky monkey you ain't gonna straddle.
But your ass is so red, it's like I took out the paddle.
You're gonna love the zoophilia phenomena.
I wouldn't even keester my banana.
And like a muppet you'll be singing Muh Nah Muh Nah.

7-02-11 10:43pm (new)
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RCCOLAMAN
Saving the world from thirst since 1905!

Member Rated:

CC480: MC Jobe by RCCOLAMAN
7-04-11
Walkin' to work cause i got no CAR!
Went to high school but he didn't get FAR!
Work a dead end job serving ape like SLOBS!
I'll have de twelve piece chicken and some corn on the COB!
Can't afford nice things cause I got no MONEY!
Forget it Jobe i'm leaving you for someone less CRUMMY!

7-04-11 5:46pm (new)
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four_legged_tripod
Do what to who for how many jellybeans?

Member Rated:

Real Life: Finishing Each Others Sentences by four_legged_tripod
7-05-11
What the hell is this monkey doing in our...
ROOM?
If you don't get him out I'm gonna bust him with a...
BROOM!
I was going to say baseball bat.
Look lady, obviously I'm not wanted here. When your husband lured me up here with a glass of white wine I was expecting this night to go quite differently.

---
"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

7-05-11 2:12pm (new)
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choadwarrior
Crash Magnet

Member Rated:

The Bestiality Boys by choadwarrior
7-07-11
Three M.C.s and one baboon!
And we be gettin' down with the monkey poon.
So Dr. Zira whatcha gotta say?
It's time to fling some poo your way.

7-07-11 10:39pm (new)
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RandomComicLayoutGuy
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

7-08-11 5:36pm (new)
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Humpenstein
Born again virgin

Member Rated:

New Comic Contest by Humpenstein
7-09-11
There once was a hooker from Germany,
who did what she did to make her money.
She tried to squirm in me, so I had to confirm that we
have sex now we both have aids permenantly.

7-09-11 2:48am (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

Great, now I think like this by mandingo
7-09-11
DAD kicked me OUT for BEing GAY. THAT hypoCRITE smokes THREE COCKS a DAY
don't DO as i DO, just DO as i SAY. FIND a WOMAN or AWAY you STAY
LEND me your SISTER, pay you BACK with INTEREST
don't KNOW what that MEANS, take the JEWish PRINCESS
i NOW proNOUNCE you MAN and WIFE
MEET me beHIND the altar BOYS in FIVE

---
what if nigger meant kite

7-09-11 8:06pm (new)
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thatsnotfunny
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

Convention be damned--no judging deadline announcement.

(Especially because I'd forget, as I can't even remember my password on this site without copying and pasting it out of the registration email.)

And the results are:

** The "Why Don't You Fucking Come To Texas and Say It To My Face" trophy goes to RandomComicLayoutGuy, for mocking my contest.  (See the fine print on the engraving for the address.  Don't mind the "tresspassers will be shot" signs.)

** The "Probably Old Enough To Own A Beastie Boys Album, or At Least Have Access To Google" award goes to mandingo -- for riffing off some lyric to "Fight for Your Right to Party" besides the title.

But the hands-down winner in my book:

+++ Z Man Zilla +++

...for making not just ONE but TWO two literary allusions (neither of which were to Juggs magazine!!)  Meeting the bonus requirement is just gravy at that point.

AND as the lightning-fast first responder, he also receives a certificate for "Premature e-Comic-ation".  (Copies of which will be posted to all of his female friends' walls on Facebook.)

Congratulations!

7-10-11 7:46pm (new)
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RandomComicLayoutGuy
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

** The "Why Don't You Fucking Come To Texas and Say It To My Face" trophy goes to RandomComicLayoutGuy, for mocking my contest.  (See the fine print on the engraving for the address.  Don't mind the "tresspassers will be shot" signs.)


Sorry.  Didn't realize you're a sensitive little bitch

7-10-11 9:22pm (new)
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thatsnotfunny
Junior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

As an openly sensitive bitch, I beggingly apologize to RandomComicLayoutGuy if my sad attempt at humor was misconstrued (whilst trying to invent funny awards)!

Let me give some context.  I have recently relocated to Texas.  As a self-proclaimed intellectual with no interest in firearms...I am both amused and frightened at how ridiculously well-armed my neighbors are.  You'd not believe how many guns these people have; they collect 'em like web developers collect Hentai DVDs!  I don't do either murder or Anime (yet), but nowadays most of the people I know excel at one or the other.  Or both, weird state.

Anyhow, I thought in making up random amusing awards, I'd throw in a tongue-in-cheek joke.  Thought it was fair play to direct one of those at someone who openly dissed (and disregarded) my contest rules.  All in good fun, you'd think?  It's a comic site!  But sadly, I hath offended, my jokedar isn't as good as I thought.  :-/

I'm so... so... so... sorry.  I grovel at your feet with my heart in my hands, urging you to re-read my statement.  Close your eyes, and for a moment; and rethink the conversation as I might see it.

In retrospect, I notice clearly where I went wrong.  Sadly I have no time machine, but if I did I know what I'd go back and do.  I'd instead put a colon-dash-right-parenthesis or a semicolon-dash-capital-p after the sentence I uttered.  Perhaps this emotional tragedy could have been sidestepped, if only my ability to practice science exceeded my years of deep meditation on how to be the very embodiment of a little bitch!!  :(

(Note: If letters on my keyboard are malfunctioning, it's because of my tears at having been misinterpreted. I beg your forgiveness!  As well as the forgiveness of all the Indigo children, blessed be.)

...on the other hand, if you got my joke all along, and are just trolling:

GO FUCK YOURSELF RCLG, AND I'LL SEE YOU IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL WITH THE (NOT MINE, BUT MY NEIGHBORS') ARMY OF HOMO MONKEYS WEARING BRASS PLATED RAZOR DILDOES!

It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure(TM), sort of.  Except with inter-species rape.

(2nd Note: Dunno where they get these monkeys.  But their understanding of alloys is not terribly advanced.  Like guns, I guess they get them from conventions/expos?)

P-;

...and take it away, away, zmanzilla!

7-11-11 12:31am (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

thatsnotfunnyYOU SON OF A BITCH!

i really did think like this, though, for about 2 hours. finally it gave way to the smooth numb of the wood alcohol

---
what if nigger meant kite

7-11-11 10:29am (new)
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RandomComicLayoutGuy
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

Well my ancestry is originally from Texas and I guess you're not up on Texas humor yet.  Therefore I must apologize, too

 

thatsnotfunny wrote:

As an openly sensitive bitch, I beggingly apologize to RandomComicLayoutGuy if my sad attempt at humor was misconstrued (whilst trying to invent funny awards)!

Let me give some context.  I have recently relocated to Texas.  As a self-proclaimed intellectual with no interest in firearms...I am both amused and frightened at how ridiculously well-armed my neighbors are.  You'd not believe how many guns these people have; they collect 'em like web developers collect Hentai DVDs!  I don't do either murder or Anime (yet), but nowadays most of the people I know excel at one or the other.  Or both, weird state.

Anyhow, I thought in making up random amusing awards, I'd throw in a tongue-in-cheek joke.  Thought it was fair play to direct one of those at someone who openly dissed (and disregarded) my contest rules.  All in good fun, you'd think?  It's a comic site!  But sadly, I hath offended, my jokedar isn't as good as I thought.  :-/

I'm so... so... so... sorry.  I grovel at your feet with my heart in my hands, urging you to re-read my statement.  Close your eyes, and for a moment; and rethink the conversation as I might see it.

In retrospect, I notice clearly where I went wrong.  Sadly I have no time machine, but if I did I know what I'd go back and do.  I'd instead put a colon-dash-right-parenthesis or a semicolon-dash-capital-p after the sentence I uttered.  Perhaps this emotional tragedy could have been sidestepped, if only my ability to practice science exceeded my years of deep meditation on how to be the very embodiment of a little bitch!!  :(

(Note: If letters on my keyboard are malfunctioning, it's because of my tears at having been misinterpreted. I beg your forgiveness!  As well as the forgiveness of all the Indigo children, blessed be.)

...on the other hand, if you got my joke all along, and are just trolling:

GO FUCK YOURSELF RCLG, AND I'LL SEE YOU IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL WITH THE (NOT MINE, BUT MY NEIGHBORS') ARMY OF HOMO MONKEYS WEARING BRASS PLATED RAZOR DILDOES!

It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure(TM), sort of.  Except with inter-species rape.

(2nd Note: Dunno where they get these monkeys.  But their understanding of alloys is not terribly advanced.  Like guns, I guess they get them from conventions/expos?)

P-;

...and take it away, away, zmanzilla!


7-11-11 2:17pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


ZMannZilla
Ex-Zombie Hunting Dad Creature

Member Rated:

As George Orwell once said, "Every time one of my books helps someone win a Stripcreator Comic Competition, I have a thirteen minute orgasm."  Words to live by.

Next contest will be up soon.

---
"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

7-11-11 11:29pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

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