Judging will be tomorrow!  Last chance to get in your comics.

RCL no. 2642 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 10-30-11

This is your chicken speaking... We'll be flying at 33,000 feet for apporximately an hour and twenty-five minutes before arriving in Lincoln, Nebraska around 5:34 AM local time. We may experi-ence some turbu-lence over St. Luis, in which case I'll run around the cabin like a chicken with it's head chopped off! What in the fuck are you talking about? Hey... This is your PCP induced dream, not mine. Douchebag.

(At this point, I'm just throwing shit against the wall hoping something sticks...)

The Chicken Terrorist by biped 10-30-11

I vass gonna cook dat shick-hun...ehh, fer Mr. Pacino's dinner tonight. You mean I'm boning Al Pacino's chicken? Wow. He sure did, by yiminy. He...you know...to Mr. Pacino's shick-hun. And den, he...he brag about it. Whoa. Doing it's bad enough, but bragging about it... that shows willful premeditation. Don't worry, I've already "chickened" Pacino. He's clear. Whew, I'm sure dat gonna make him feel better, by golly.

Forrest Squirrel by biped 10-30-11

They wuz mah magic shoes. Mama said they'd take me ENNY-WAY-UH! But Bubba nevah did get ta go home. Instead, he died raht theh by that rivah in Viet Nam. You mean...his daddy's name is Foh-rest, too? Yoah his daddy, Foh-rest.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Costume Party by Beeko180 10-29-11

Don't you just LOVE this costume party, what did you c- You're wearing the same shit you wear every day man, what the fuck is wrong with you? Could you be any more of a dick? You kidding? I'm a high ranking official of the nazi party. COULD YOU BE ANY MORE OF A DICK?! I could rub myself up and down if that tickles your fancy...

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

CC 488 & OPC 59: 'CRABS'

If I ever catch you in my pants again, I'll kill you.

by bigworm, 10-31-11

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bigworm

The Crab and Snail Show by evil_d 10-31-11

Hey Crab, I bought a race car and painted a big red "S" on the side. Do you know why? Tee hee! No, Snail, why? Because "S" is the first letter of "Screw you, Crab! You stole my girlfriend and I hate you!" I'll get around to painting the rest eventually.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

I wanted to use the crabs in all of these, but obviously the one above needs the snail.

A Tale of Two Crabs #1 by evil_d 10-31-11

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says, "Getting pretty hot in here!" The other says, "AAAAAAAAAAHH! A talking muffin!" AAAAAAAAAAAHH! A talking crab!

A Tale of Two Crabs #2 by evil_d 10-31-11

Knock, knock. Who's MOOOOOOOOOOOOO! These days you have to start that one pretty early to get the jump on people.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Groovy! - Gay-ayyyyyy! by edoggydog 10-31-11

I've created a public service announcement poster just in time for Halloween. Wanna see it? Groovy! WE'RE A CULTURE, NOT A COSTUME This is NOT WHO I AM, AND THIS IS NOT OKAY. Hey-ayyyyyy! What do you think? I guess I can't wear my Rob Halford costume tonight...

Groovy! - Emergency! by edoggydog 10-31-11

I was hired by the county fire department to troubleshoot issues in some of their problem substations... Groovy! "Take Station 51, for example..." Any water coming out of your end? Not a drop, Cappy! That was one of my easier fixes. KMG-365!

Christmas in Texas by kaufman 10-31-11

Here in Texas, we have some unique Christmas traditions. For example, in 49 states, people hang the mistletoe and kiss under it. We don't hang the mistletoe in Texas. We give it a lethal injection.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 488: It Can Warm A Bench In The Dead Of Winter! by bigworm 10-31-11

Benchwarma'? I don't know if dats true or not. If it is, dats coo... ...'cus I got a HOT ass!

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bigworm

CC 488: As A Cat Sucks A Baby's Breath! by bigworm 10-31-11

I 'spose ya'll wanna' bite ma' neck uh? No... I vant to suck your hot rump!

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bigworm

Here's an interesting fact for CC488.  Section 488 of the California Penal Code is petty theft.  Somebody below is going to steal a win and a minor bit of glory from the clutches of a few other strippers who also made some funny comics.

I've been mulling it over for the last hour and have narrowed it down to five comics, all of which I will give honorable mentions in addition to the coveted "Good" rating each one received.

The "This Made Me Laugh Out Loud" Award goes to:

Pullin' a Boner by biped 10-22-11

Okay, that about concludes the job interview. Any other noteworthy qualifications you'd like to mention? Well...I can play my dick like a trombone. Did you remember to tell him that you can play your dick like a trombone? Yes, Dad.

The "I Had to Think About This, Then Realized it's Funny" Award goes to:

The Day the World Was Supposed to End by biped 10-22-11

Say, isn't this the day that some nut said was going to be the end of the world? Ha ha, guess he was wrong. No, no...this isn't supposed to be "End of the World" Day. It's "Everybody in the World Turns Into a Hermit Crab" Day. "Tyson sidles in for the uppercut..."

The "Wait For It" Award goes to:

CC 488: Benched, but not on bended knee! by bigworm 10-25-11

Truthfully, I thought I had it made. I held one of her biggest sheafs together. She would reposition me if I looked a little loose. It felt good! Then... BAM, I wake up in the trash can! What's that about? Stay cool bro'! We're here to be used. I know, I know, but why thrown out? I feel like pickin' a lock or cleanin' a pipe or somethin' like that! Look... you've been recovered from the trash can. If you get all bent outta' shape, you really ARE trash!

The "Tough as Snails" Award goes to:

The Crab and Snail Show by evil_d 10-31-11

Hey Crab, I bought a race car and painted a big red "S" on the side. Do you know why? Tee hee! No, Snail, why? Because "S" is the first letter of "Screw you, Crab! You stole my girlfriend and I hate you!" I'll get around to painting the rest eventually.

The "Hot Lethal Injection" Award goes to:

Christmas in Texas by kaufman 10-31-11

Here in Texas, we have some unique Christmas traditions. For example, in 49 states, people hang the mistletoe and kiss under it. We don't hang the mistletoe in Texas. We give it a lethal injection.

Like I said, good entries all around, and it was tough to pick a winner, but in the end, it goes to evil_d for "The Crab and Snail Show" for the best use of obscure characters and a great twist on an old joke.

I will also say that Edoggydog could have won for "Groovy! -Emergency!" in the event of a Kevin Tighe.

Nice job, evil_d, for your win in CC488.  Make like Calgon and take us away!

Damn I missed the contest. Oh well here's my entry

bottled anger by RCCOLAMAN 10-31-11

The preparations are complete sir, shall we begin the operation? Yes. The time for action is now, soon we will have retribution for our bottled brethren!! We will not relent until they are free!! Onwards!! Die infidels!! *splish splosh* Sigh, the one day I forget my umbrella it just had to rain.

Holy crap!  Thanks!

I have no idea what to do for the next contest.  I'll pull something out of my ass later today.  And then I'll make up an idea for the next comic contest.  Ha!

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!