For this contest, at least one character in your comic must be a statue.  Or a figurine, if you prefer.  "Figurine" is what you call statues when they're small and made of plastic.

If you want your statue to talk, that's okay, but it has to be clear to the reader that it's a statue, somehow.

Enter as often as you like.  Old comics are welcomed.

I'll judge this in about a week, i.e. sometime on Tueday the 16th.  The winner will have the honor of running the next Comic Contest.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Too esoteric?  Maybe.

Rio de Janeiro in the future

by evil_d, 12-09-14

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

RCL no. 4462 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-09-14

Can you believe the CEO commissioned a statue of himself and put it out in the quad area? Yeah, that's pretty arrogant, even for him! He could have at least put down his coffee cup while posing for it...

Set in Stone by four_legged_tripod 12-09-14

It just does not seem fair. No one should ever have to bury their daughter like we did. Well I'm not gonna just cry about it. I made a statue of her and put her up in the front yard. You did? What moment did you choose to immortalize? The moment she walked in on us and I was eating pudding outta your asshole. You know, right before she died of that heart attack.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Groovy! - Venus looks 'armless to me by edoggydog 12-09-14

Me and the wife just got back from sightseeing in France... We spent a lot of time at the Louvre, checking out the statues. Our favorite was Venus de Milo. Groovy! They never did say what happened to her arms... I hear they're playing in field somewhere. Wanna arm wrestle? Again..? Let's play ARMY!

Statue by Pandeist 12-09-14

Let's play "statue" -- first one who moves loses!! The next day.... 2000 years later.... I. So. Fucking. Win!!

CC 597: The Obliga... by kaufman 12-10-14

Heh heh heh heh! What are you in for? Tory statue rape.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

RCL no. 4464 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-11-14

"I ask you to create a statue for the reception area and you bring this..." "It's not even complete!" "Why didn't you complete the statue?" I couldn't get him to pose with his pants on.

Groovy! - I've got a bad cough, man! by edoggydog 12-11-14

I tell ya... That Butch the Serial Killer mannequin had me dead to rights! How did you get away? I out ran the statue's limitations! Groovy!

Groovy! - And, they call it The Streak [in your underwear] by edoggydog 12-11-14

It's my new statue series... I call it, "The Fart". NOT groovy!

Replicas by Pandeist 12-11-14

GODDAMMIT, who replaced the water cooler with an exact replica of a water cooler!?!? People around here spend too much time drinking water anyway. Later.... HEY, who took my statue, "black guy and white guy arguing in front of a water cooler"?

Maybe not TECHNICALLY in the rules, but she might as well be a statue.

A nation perplexed! 1 by HCRoyall 4-29-11

ZOMG the Royal Wedding was so beautiful!! Give me one good reason that I should care about inbred British fucks getting married to perpetuate a royalty we fought to be free from.

A nation perplexed! 2 by HCRoyall 4-29-11

And she's been like that for how long now? Going on three hours. I'm going to lunch; let me know if something changes.

A nation perplexed! 3 by HCRoyall 4-29-11

Do you know why I called you in here? If this is about the copier jamming every time I use it, I really can't tell you what's going on. No, this is about putting Stacy into a catatonia. Shit. I'm not going to be sued, am I? Hell no! I'm giving you a raise! It's the first time in months I've had a quiet, peaceful workday!

A nation perplexed! Epilogue by HCRoyall 4-29-11

Excuse me, Miss? I'm the night janitor, and I need to lock up, so you need to leave. If you want me to take you into the supply closet and do unspeakable things to you, just continue staring blankly...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Planet WTF Presents: Pregnant Pause Theater 23 by brycekain 12-15-14

I can't shut up! I've got explosive diarrhea on top of lactose intolerance and possibly SARS in my colon! You look like a poop statue.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

One For Another by Matchbook_Romance 12-15-14

Lip that ass.

Great participation so far.  Judging will commence in a few hours, so get any last-minute entries in now.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Thanks to everyone who entered.

Four_legged_tripod's "Set in Stone" was an early favorite.  I liked that it used a black-and-white character as the statue.  Might have been funnier without the last sentence -- the reader can figure it out.

Then there was kaufman's "The Obliga...".  Excellent example of kaufman doing what kaufman does best.

But in the end, I'm giving the win to Pandeist, because I thought this comic was just really clever:

Replicas by Pandeist 12-11-14

GODDAMMIT, who replaced the water cooler with an exact replica of a water cooler!?!? People around here spend too much time drinking water anyway. Later.... HEY, who took my statue, "black guy and white guy arguing in front of a water cooler"?

Congratulations, Pandeist!  Comic Contest 598 is yours.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Holy crap, I won a contest!!

Okay, I'll have the next contest up ere the sun sets tomorrow.... or thereabouts.