Something went trippy with that last post. I usually post five at a time because any more and it cuts off showing them. The rest come up as links. I do it for conveniance for anybody who happens to be reading. So, I'll double post #106 for that reason:

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {106} by Beeko180 8-18-15

Excuse me, can you tell me where the portal to hell is in this specific DMV? Uh... I don't know what you think DMV stands for but this is a Department of Motor Vehicles. Also how did you even get in here? This is an employees-only storage room. Door. To get in here, I used the door. ...handle. The doorhandle on the door... to use the door. ...to get in here. Oh okay. That's okay then. I thought you used the window. People have been doing that lately after hours. I mean, there is a door for that. Why can't they just use the door?

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {107} by Beeko180 8-18-15

They probably use the window to get in after hours instead of the door because after hours the door is locked and the window is the only way into the building, accessible from outside the building. What? Nothing. Why are you dressed like Robin Hood? I'm not a thief or anything. What?

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {108} by Beeko180 8-18-15

So, sorry about all the locking you in here and stuff, Chen, but it looks like identity theft is harder to pull off than it is in the comedy movies. So since I can't steal Chen's job, I was thinking.. Ow, Chen... quit eating my lNo! NO NOAAAUGHAGH!!!! I mean now Death is here I could steal my old job back from him. You see, you're famine now, Chen and just like only a nigger can call another nigger nigger, only a horseman can kill another horseman. AAGHGHAGHGAAAAAAHH!!! HELP ME CHRISTIAN BALE!!! AGHAGHG!!! HE'S EATING ME!!!! Roll over, Death... Good boy. Now play dead. Nice.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {109} by Beeko180 8-19-15

If you won't give me a raise if I come back, then I want what I was earning last time. You weren't earning anything last time. You were Death. Oh. Why did I want this again? It's the benefits. What benefits? The life insurance is to die for.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {110} by Beeko180 8-20-15

Okay, now that the barbershop quartet has been assembled the four of you shall together do some raptury things which shall break the second last seal and unleash the minions of Cthulhu. Santa, you're Conquest. So you'll need to take control of Earth's access to the divine realms. George W. Bush, since you are War we're going to need you to spread violence acro- HO, HO! WHY WE GON' SPREAD VIOLENCE? IS THEYS PEOPLES WE BEES ATTACKIN' GOT DEM WEAPONS OF MASSES DESTRUCTITION?

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {111} by Beeko180 8-21-15

A little birdy told me you're looking for the highway to hell. It's not a literal highway to hell is it, fly on the wall who sees all and knows all goings on in the DMV like a literal fly on the wall? Wha- pfft, no. Of course not. That would be… ludicrous. Wha- pfft, no. Of course not. That would be… ludicrous. Cut the birdshit, little birdy who people hear things from. It's a fucking highway, isn't it?

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {112} by Beeko180 8-21-15

The little birdy told me that it's not literally a highway to hell. Wait… you meant that a literal little birdy literally told you, the literal fly on the wall who sees all and knows all goings on in the DMV like a literal fly on the wall, that- Yep. Not a literal highway to hell. Hard to believe, isn't it? I think my conception of the solidity of any belief was shattered a while back… I'm kind of just wing… … ing.. it. ... Stop staring at them. It's making me feel uncomfortable.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {113} by Beeko180 8-21-15

Fuck the ho, ho, holy hell up you little Elf shit. We need to keep Kevin Motherfucking Costner from entering hell via the portals in the DMVs by tricking America into a global panic war on DMVs. Good gracious, San- I mean Conquest, horesman o- I mean... fuck, nevermind. How the hell are we going to do that? Hi, I'm the CIA. Here, have some drug bombs. The DMVs all over the world are overrun with whistle-blowers made out of renewable oil. You should start a global war on DMVs because of it. Renewable oil, you say? Even if this were true, they've not done anything wrong enough to start a global war. They're threatening your current political system! This means global war!

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {114} by Beeko180 8-23-15

Yes? Mr. George W. Bush, was it? What can I do for you? UM DO YOU SELLS THEM KNOWLEDGES THAT I HEARS ABOUT? Why yes, certainly, we do. What would you like them knowledges to be about, sir? HOW TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT THERE BE WMD'S WHEN THERE NOT BE BUT YOU WANT IT DO. Uh, sure. I must ask, though. I have not ever heard the term "WMD" before. I don't get out much. What could it ever mean, Mr. Bush? It stands for "WEAPONS OF MASS DINOSAURDINOSAUR LOOK THAT WAS ONCE A DINOSAUR. IT STILL COULD BE. WE CAN'T RISK IT. TAKE IT. TAKE ALL OF IT. THEY COULD DESTROY US ALL". It's a relatively new term.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {115} by Beeko180 8-23-15

CH... CHRRRRRRRR... CHRIST. CHRRRRRISTIAN BALE. WHAT I DO DO? DO WE DO WHAT? TESTicles Why is it that everybody I work with is or ends up retarded?

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {116} by Beeko180 8-24-15

Kirkmeister, this is Spockinberg calling in. We have a visual on the target. It's approaching at vector coordinates 302181. Ha, Ha! That's not how vector coordinates work, you dumb shit. Are you drunk or something? No. I- CHRIST, WHAT IS IT GENERAL?! YOU'RE RUINING OUR ROLEPLAY! CAN'T YOU GO FIND SOME OTHER SECRETARY OF DEFENSE? CAN'T YOU SEE MY FUN?! WHAT FUCKING HORSE DID YOU RIDE IN ON THAT MAKES YOU SO FUCKING SHITTIGHT, HUH? Why, this horse, sir. Sorry, sir. I shouldn't backtalk you, sir. You're my sir, sir. No, sir. Sorry, sir. I can't see your fun, sir. I'm very sorry, sir. We kind of have a code red, sir.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {117} by Beeko180 8-24-15

Spit it out, General. Which code red is it? There's a whole fucking bunch of them. I wanna fucking roleplay. Learn to be concise you annoying twat. Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. I'll learn to be more concise, sir. The code red is the press the big red button code red, sir. Really? The code red is the press the big red button code red? The big red button pressing? Yes, sir. That press the big red button code red, sir. Should we press the big red button, sir? Fuck. This is going to be a living nightmare. I fucking hate pressing the speed dial for a press conference.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {118} by Beeko180 8-24-15

Hey! It looks like you're trying to find the portal to hell in your local DMV in order to save the entire multiverse from complete and total annihilation! I can help with that! Come with me! No. Fuck off. Go away. Fine. If you'll agree to leave me alone, you annoying titclipper. It's just through h-FUCKING BALLS. GO AWAY. Heyyy. It looks like you're trying to guide "THE Motherfucking Kevin "Jesus H. The Bodyguard Christ Almighty" Costner, Prince of Thieves and King of Britain, to the...

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {119} by Beeko180 8-24-15

DO YOU EVER GET TIRED OF NOT LEAVING PEOPLE THE FUCK ALONE? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BOTHER EVERYONE LIKE YOU DO? ARE YOU ASPERGERS? DO YOU NOT UNDERSTANDSHUTTHEFUCK UP? Ha, Ha! boop bop beep BIP This is getting ridiculous. I fucking hate DMVs... They actually have those? Ha, Ha! Ass Burgers? That's a riot!

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {120} by Beeko180 8-24-15

You are the dumbest son of a bitch I've ever known. Well, I'm clearly not as dumb as you since you just got yourself spontaneously combusted and all.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {121} by Beeko180 8-26-15

I BORROWED A KNOWLEDGES FROM THE KNOWLEDGES FACTORY AND CONSULTITTED IT. THIS JEW HERE WILL INCITATION A RACE-WAR. He means he borrowed some shit from a library about Hitler's rise to power and then read Mein Kampf. So he kidnapped a semetic door knocking judaist. Hey, I don't mean to alarm you but I think that George W. Bush is back in office, if you know what I mean. Boop. This is fucking retarded. You're all fucking retarded. I'm going home now. 30 minutes later... Ah, hell.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {122} by Beeko180 8-26-15

BOOgers. I am the ghost of let's fuck some shit up and party. Give me some crazy shit to fuck up for you and I'll do it. Then we'll party. As long as I'm in hell. Can you get me into Cthulhu's slumberdome? AHA! THE MOTHERFUCKING KEVIN COSTNER! WE KNEW YOU WOULD COME HERE FOR IT WAS FORETOLD IN THE SCROLLS! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ The bible, actually. You're thinking of The Elder Scrolls RPG video game franchise. Cthulhu isn't Alduin the Dragon of the end times. What? Am I in the wrong thing?

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {123} by Beeko180 8-26-15

YOU SEE, THE MOTHERFUCKING KEVIN "JESUS H. THE BODYGUARD CHRIST" ALMIGHTY COSTNER, YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT WE NEED! SOMETHING THAT CTHULHU NEEDS! YES! YES YOU DO! YOU HAVE THE "HOLY" EBOLA OF THE BUM- THE DIVINE TENTACLE BABY WRIGGLING AND JIGGLING INSIDE YOUR RECTUM! UNNNGHHHH I LIKE SEAFOOD. LET'S EAT IT. FUCKITTY UP IT FAMININES. QUIT BEGINNING- BEING- SUCH A FUCKING GELUTTIN- GLUTON- GLUFUCKIT. WE NEEDS TO TELLS KEVIN OUR EVIL PLAN SO HE CAN FOILS ITS. Ho, Ho, Holy crap, Bush. That's a big word for you. I'm impressed. "Glufuckit" is a more complicated word than I thought your vocabulary was even capable of having. Honestly, what the fuck is actually happening here? Did I take a wrong turn or something? Is this Sovngarde? I'm so confused.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {124} by Beeko180 8-26-15

Fuck, he's getting away with that ghost thing that likes to fuck shit up and party. I hate that guy. He always fucks shit up and then rubs it in your face by partying. I'm slightly, if not, heavily befuddled by these current events. What happened to the seal breaking thing? Weren't we going to unleash Cthulhu's minions? ... N.. no. Th- That would be stupid. Yeah, that would be stupid. He has all the minions of hell. Yeah, I have all the minions of hell. Like, all of 'em.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {125} by Beeko180 8-26-15

Fuck consistency. What is even the point of it? Consistency is a very important dynamic to the proper telling of a gripping tale. It allows for better immersion in the written world. You can't just suddenly change everything to advance the plot. He's going through. the portal over there, boss. Yeah, he's going through the portal over there, Death. How about you go and do what I tell you to and change everything to advance the plot, huh? Fucking cuntbucket.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {126} by Beeko180 9-02-15

Fuck, we made it. Though I'm surprised that you didn't fuck shit up and party. Your lack of fucking shit up and partying seems to be incongrous in regards to your title. I don't do that anymore. I'm sort of like that 80 year old hooker that used to be a whore but everyone still calls a whore because, well, she was a whore and that's that. See ya! You're going to fuck shit up now, aren't you? Of course... what else would I do? The darkest entity in all of creation, Cthulhu rests here. He rests here. Loud annoying noises are mandatory from here on out...

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {127} by Beeko180 9-02-15

There he is! Stop him! Conquest incarnate Santa- restrain him! He's going to attempt to dispose of THE 'HOLY' Ebola of the Bum! We must not let him do it. The Dark Lord Cthulhu must rise The multiverse eater must be set free. He shall devour all. Nothing will remain. Nothing! We shall be victorious. Wait... how the fuck would we be victorious if that were to happen? Oh. Fuck it. I'm done. Wanna go play Xbox? Xbox is for faggots, N00B. Go kill yourself.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {128} by Beeko180 9-02-15

THE FUCK ARE THEY GOING? ARENOT WE GONNA DO THE DO DOO WITH THE DOODAD AND STOP THE DOODANGLE FROM DOING THE THING? _________________________________________________________ UNNNGHHHH SO FUCKING HUNGRY! SUPERB UNDERACTING ABILITIES ACTIVATE! LASER PRECISION DEATH STARE OF METHOD ACTING PREPARATION FOCUS! FIRE!!!

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {129 fin:1/2} by Beeko180 9-02-15

Suddenly, the end. That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. At no point in your incoherent nonsense did anything that you speak of come even remotely close to informing me of why... ...you were nailed to a cross. But! I! Uh... Why you little cuntmangler! I was nailed to a cross for your sins because fuck you, that's why. Now go do little shit stuff, you little shit.

Kevin Costner Goes on a Fantasmical Adventure! {130 fin:2/2} by Beeko180 9-02-15

No, I don't want to know why you were nailed to a cross for our sins... I want to know why you were nailed to a cross. Why did it have to be that specific thing? Why that particular way? Oh... Well, if you really want to know, you're going to have to hold onto your seats for the rest of the tale. It's really quite gripping and eventually all will become perfectly clear. You see there I w

That's all folks!

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

I read it all, the whole meandering, incoherent, occasionally racist nine yards.  I can barely remember anything that happened, and if anyone asked me why I read it I'm not sure I would have a good answer.  But by god, I read it.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

I can answer any questions that you may or may not have that may or may not have anything to do with the subject at hand. I must warn you, however, that the answers that you seek may not be the answers that you find for the answers that I give you may be answers to completely different questions that have gone unasked. Also I may or may not answer said questions at all. I may or may not just post pictures of Kevin Costner doing splendidly Kevin Costnery things.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

"Hi, I'm Kevin Costner. Looking out on this beach... with my back faced to it... you may think that my peaceful situation couldn't get any more peaceful. I mean here I am with my plain white t-shirt, my sort-of-skinny skinny jeans and a black button-up, holding my glasses with a confidant glare on my, let's face it, AMAZING face- more amazing than Alec Baldwin's at least. Fucking Alec Baldwin... what a cunt. Anywho... You may think I've never had to endure hardship. I mean look at how peaceful my life seems to be right now. But don't forget. I made you bitch. I made all of you. I made you with my blood, my sweat, my tears... and then I fucking died for you. I died for all of you. How dare you not thank me. Yeah, I'm looking at you Alec Baldwin you cock-nosed shitblister. We had cake, Alec. The cake had candles. My cake... my candles. You could have had some but you refused to celebrate my birthday. Fuck you, Alec. FUCK YOU. Anywho, my point is that I, THE Motherfucking Kevin "Jesus H. 'The Bodyguard' Christ" Costner, saviour of all of you sons-o'-bitches am sitting on this rock ready to announce to you that I have descended to earth for a second time... again... This forum thread will hereby be used as my diary to journal my adventures in space and time. You can all read along... except for Alec Baldwin... he's a pussy who's afraid of lit candles."


Dear Diary...

{Kevin Costner in... The Janitor Chronicles} - 1 by Beeko180 2-20-16

My son, my spirit, my child. Mmmm... yes. My child. My sweet, tender, succulent child. What? NOTHING! WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS ABOUT YOU?! Enough of that... listen here. That whole dying for your sins thing seems to have backfired. The your death to sins ratio is completely out of whack. So what does that mean? I just go die for my sins again? Close... but not exactly. I was thinking a more permanent solution. One that will also require a touch of secrecy... we don't want those romans going at you again. Riiight... so you've been sent here to be a janitor's assistant in order to clean for people's sins. Got it. What did you say your name was again? I didn't. But my name is um... not Kevin Costner. Yeah... it isn't Kevin Costner.

{Kevin Costner in... The Janitor Chronicles} - 2 by Beeko180 2-20-16

If your name isn't Kevin Costner, what is it then? Because I'm starting to think it's Kevin Costner. NO, IT FUCKING ISN'T YOU NOSY TWATSWINDLING CUNTBUCKET. It's um... Jesus. Yeah... my name is Jesus. Jesus? You don't look mexican... What do I look like then? Robin Hood, I guess... yeah. Yeah, you look like Kevin Costner from that Robin Hood movie he starred in way back when. I'm mexican. Kevin Costner isn't mexican. Your opinion is a dumb one, fuckstick.

{Kevin Costner in... The Janitor Chronicles} - 3 by Beeko180 2-21-16

Whatever Jesús. Jesus. It's Jesus. Jesús is the other one. Gotcha Zeus. Fuck. Your mum.

{Kevin Costner in... The Janitor Chronicles} - 4 by Beeko180 2-21-16

So what does a Janitor's job description entail? Your job isn't going to be as a Janitor. You're going to be my assistant. A Janitor's Assistant. Oh... ... Do I get a mop? No. But you can have this spray bottle. I need you to refill it and don't go past the line. Oh...

{Kevin Costner in... The Janitor Chronicles} - 5 by Beeko180 2-21-16

I filled the spray bottle. You went past the line. I told you not to go past the line. Also... *swallows* You filled it with urine.