Due to the bug that's been preventing the saving of comics, I've had to copy and paste the intro and save it somewhere. And who here doesn't love GeoCities? Click here for the intro.

Rules:

1) As shown in the intro, stripcreator has come into possession of a lot of money. (As some pissy, pedantic, smirking fuck will undoubtedly notice, Gates never died in the intro, so let's all assume that someone finally did him in in the fourth panel.) The comic must show what the various characters and users do with that money.

2) Ignore the final rule.

3) All characters, props, backgrounds, and whatnot are legal.

4) Judging is 6PM SC.com time on Tuesday.

5) If you can't imagine what it would be like to have a lot of money, you may borrow some, but give it back when you're done spending it.

6) Damn it, I told you to ignore this rule!

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

Thank you for reminding people of the "2 World Trade Towers" gag which got me so much abuse.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC 92 - All that money. Wow! by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 1-12-02

Fucking hell. $483 billion dollars to pay off my bandwidth costs. Lemme see. After federal , state , county and city taxes , thatll leave me with about $30. $30. Hmmm. You could invest in a second hand copy of photoshop and create a forum for Photoshop images. Nice idea. But you realise that getting Wirthling a prosthetic body made from an old Barbie doll would be $29.99 Yep. But getting Fuck a spellchecker would also cost $29.99. As would a double penetration dildo for Spankling. Just out of curiosity , why would he need one with double penetration? He said something about "Practise makes perfect".

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC92: A Windfall for Stripcreator.com by fpd 1-12-02

No more sucky sucky for us. We're going to college. We're going to major in philosophy, because we don't have to worry about money ever again. I'm going to make Maura really happy by upgrading to a more humaniform body. I'm going to get cyber implants to make sex with Clango really rock. Extropianism rules! And this site is in for a major upgrade. We're going to have virtual reality strips. Yeah, writers will be able to step right into the strips and interact with the characters.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

CC 92: Vanity Mirror by BigEvilDan 1-12-02

What the hell happened to you? I spent some of the inheritance on a makeover. What do you think of my new look? I find it creepy in more ways than I can count. You're just jealous that I'm now the beautiful one.

CC 92: ...But It Can Rent It For A Long Time. by BigEvilDan 1-12-02

So, what are you spending your share of the dough on? I'm going to buy happiness. Uh, haven't you ever heard the expression-- Don't bother. Once I've purchased the rights to that cliche, everything else will fall into place.

CC 92: Upgrades... by BigEvilDan 1-12-02

So, what kind of features does this expensive new server have? It should be faster and more reliable, for starters. It's also got a vibrate mode. A vibrate mode? Oh yeah. And that's just the tip of the iceberg... Elsewhere... \/\/|-|@+ |)0 j00 w@|\|+?!!!!1 I'm the new web server for stripcreator.com. You and I are going to have a long... talk...about proofreading.

CC 92: Cowboy Accountants by BigEvilDan 1-12-02

One day at the ranch... So I says "With this much dough, them rotor turbines COULD generate gravitons by themselves!" Aren't you going to laugh? I think we can afford a new joke now, Clem. It's time to let go.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Goddamn Dan. Will there ever be a Comic Contest you dont put a Cowboy Physics joke into?

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

You thought he was kidding. by kaufman 1-12-02

Hey gang, I don't need all that money. Here's my credit card number ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 92: What can we spend it on? by Bazilla 1-13-02

WOW! I can't believe we've got $50 million! What are we going to spend it on? Well, I was thinking we could spend some to make Bazilla funny. Don't be stupid! We haven't got that much!

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

I smiled, almost chuckeled, and then realized it was yours.

Well, first I did this.

CC 92: Whores! by deucepm 1-13-02

So does anybody have any thoughts on how to spend this newfound cash? Whores! Whores. We could invest it in a money market account, with dividends of... Oh, who am I kiddin'. WHORES!

Then, this. It's a senses-shattering saga! Or something. Part 10 is for the late great John Buscema.

CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 1 by deucepm 1-13-02

Did you get that check like I asked you? I've got to pay off the bandwidth today. Yeah...about that... What? What "about what?!" Look, let me say in advance that I think this is gonna be much more useful to you than any silly bandwidth. What did you spend my money on?! A solid gold ocelot.

CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 2 by deucepm 1-13-02

YOU SPENT MY NEWFOUND WINDFALL ON A SOLID GOLD OCELOT?! Uh...yes? I'm VERY disappointed in you, boy. How am I supposed to afford that platinum stoat now? I sorry.

CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 3 by deucepm 1-13-02

Hi. I need a cash return on this solid gold ocelot. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Company policy dictates that I can only give you store credit. What?! But...but all you have in here is solid gold animals! Why, that's simply not true, sir. For instance, my kitty here is made of bronze and platinum. And some sand. Give me STRENGTH... Isn't he cute as the dickens? Kiss the kitty! Come on! Kiss the kitty!

CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 4 by deucepm 1-13-02

Foiled in his attempt to get his money back, Brad walks sullenly home. Rassin frassin stupid ocelot... Pardon me, my good man! I couldn't help noticing that ocelot you're dragging behind you! I'm willing to offer you a sackful of magic beans for that ocelot! Are you nuts? I'm not gonna trade this thing for any stupid magic be-- Or, if it suits your fancy, I could simply jack your monkey ass and take said ocelot. It's your choice. Go for the beans.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 5']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 7']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 8']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 9']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 92: Quest For Cash, Part 10']

quote:

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Goddamn Dan. Will there ever be a Comic Contest you dont put a Cowboy Physics joke into?

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You see, you see, I can make funny comics, just because I'm a @Newbie@ and no-one likes me, it makes the comic bad, I need an alter-ego but only have one e-mail address.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

CC 92: Devil's Operating System by kaufman 1-13-02

You know, Bill, even I got a big chunk of that ineritance, enough to start Microsoft Of Hell, soon to be the new standard-bearer in buggy software. I'd like you to be our chief of operations here. While flattered by your offer, Mr. Zebub, I don't think I could abide the working conditions here. Frankly, it's too hot and dry, not at all like Seattle. Tell you what. Although it will be a slight demotion and pay cut for you, I'll make you director of Earthside Marketing. You'll spend eternity trumpeting Microsoft Of Hell to all passers-by. That sounds swell. Believe it or not, you've got a deal! Here's your first gig: Newark. One other thing. People will get suspicious if you have the same youthful looks for eons on end, so I've altered your appearance a bit. Now what are you promoting? M.O.H!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 92: 1|\| THE /\/\0|\|EY by Haxx0r_K1ng 1-13-02

Ch@ncel0r 0f +he Exxchequer, wh@t 1s +h1s urgent buzz1ness j00 w@nted t0 t@lk @b0ut? Sire, the court has been left a hefty sum of money in the will of a dead multigazillionaire. Exxcelent newz, Ch@ncel0r! Get +0 w0rk dr@w1ng up @ budget! I h@ve se\/er@l new 1n1t1@t1ves +0 1mplement. Certainly, my leige. What were you thinking of? F1rxxst & f0remoxxst, 1 w0uld l1ke t0 see m0re fund1ng pl@ced 1n educ@t1on! 1 w1ll n0t rest unt1l 1 r00l the 733+3st n@at1on ever! L1teracy & spell1ng less0nz f0r @ll!!! ... Oooookay.

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Tempt th33 n0t my 733+ sk177z!!!

CC 92: Funfun Time, Mooching For Money 1 by DH-01 1-13-02

Brad learns that certain creations... First off, I want a new graphic... something slinky and sexy like Lucy Liu, only with bigger tits and a chainsaw. ... bigger tits... and a chainsaw. Check. ... have very peculiar demands... I wAnt AnOthEr pEnIs. ... but you already have three. ... when it comes to a pay bonus. I want a doll made out of unmarked twenties to sodomize. ...

CC 92: Funfun Time, Mooching For Money 2 by DH-01 1-13-02

Brad converses with his CFO, Tobor... I'm telling you, Tobor... all the others I can deal with, but the Funfun Time guys are all insane. Just look at these demands. Alright, sir. Hmmmm... Tobor could use another cornholer too, come to think of it.

CC 92: Funfun Time, Mooching For Money 3 by DH-01 1-13-02

Fuk and Suk, the Sick-Ass Bunnies, talk about the bonus... I thought you loved me. I would've let you share the money-doll.

CC 92: Funfun Time, Mooching For Money 4 by DH-01 1-13-02

DH, why're you still using the pimp graphic, man? Well, the recent influx of cash has caused me to rethink a few things. Perhaps there's nothing wrong with looking rich and gaudy. You still look like a cheap-ass pimp, man. That's what you can see. I'm wearing a brand-new diamond-studded platinum cockring under these pants. Bling-BLING! Wanna see it? Would you be offended if I refused? Do you think I'm giving you a choice, Vidders?

CC 92: Funfun Time, Mooching For Money 5 by DH-01 1-13-02

Meanwhile, in the Finance Office... Tobor could use a cockring, too.

I suck. Vote for me, dammit.

-DH1

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Needs more sodomy.

quote:

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Tobor could use a cockring, too.

-DH1

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There's places that sell dildos as roundabout as four Coke cans placed together in a square.

There's bound to be a place to have a cockring for a cock like that, even a fake one.

-DH1, who knows too much.

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Needs more sodomy.

CC92: Unused Heroes by DexX 1-13-02

So... stripcreator.com has inherited billions, and everyone gets a share. Any idea what you will do with yours? I was thinking about maybe getting a publicist. I am sick of being used in so few strips. There's something else you could try... ...if you say "plastic surgery" you're gonna cop such a peck! Touchy!

CC92: A Cry For Help by DexX 1-13-02

Hey, DexX - could you draw this background... Sorry, Brad, busy. Someone's given me a shitload of cash to draw a forum user's character. Who is it? That's the weird thing - it was anonymous, and was a request for someone else to get a character... Meanwhile, in one of fuck's strips... ah no!1! pleez dont rapp me!!!!11 I don't wanna be fuck any more!!!

CC92: Revenge is... a bit sick and twisted, actually! by DexX 1-13-02

Hey there, handsome! I have a hundred dollar note here that says you're gonna give me head! Excuse me? I want you to give me head! Nestle that stubbly face of yours between my thighs and lick until your tongue is bruised and swollen! Uh, I don't... Come on! I'll make it two hundred, you big old slut! Five hundred! A thousand! Muahahahaaa! *sob* You turned into such a bitch when you got rich!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC 92: El Limpio Grande by kaufman 1-14-02

Businesses are also affected. WASH & WASH MILLENIUM WASH'S NEW EL LIMPIO GRANDE WASHER HOLDS A CUBIC FURLONG OF CLOTHES, ENOUGH FOR YOUR DIRTIEST LOAD!!! What do you think, Honey? Shall we try it? Sounds tempting. But where will we get that much detergent to run a load through there? THERE'S A COSTCO RIGHT NEXT TO WASH & WASH MILLENIUM WASH. Well, then, problem solved. El Limpio Grande, here we come!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The Root of all Evil by Jabizo 1-14-02

Dudes! Money ain't the answer to all your problems. Look at the big picture. The more you have, more stuff you want! True happiness can't be bought. Sometimes it takes real effort to find pleasures that go beyond instant gratification. OK. I said what you told me to. Now where's the X-BOX you promised? I hated doing this, but its the only way I can reach these kids nowadays

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Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

Weighing in...

It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Pun by Namgubed 1-14-02

So you're saying we should stash the dough in a secret location, and gradually launder it all in inconspicuous amounts - JUST to avoid taxes? Nearly a quarter billion is nothin' to sneeze at. I tells ya the plan is poifect, ha-cha-cha! Sure enough... I'm fadin' fast, kid, but there's a huge fortune... *cough* ...hadta get rid o' Brad... *hack* ...kept wastin' all the dough on hookers... *wheeze* ...look under the big "W"! Ya can't miss it!  !!  ...Star Wars as an effective nuke-you-lar deterrent... why's this man starin' at mah boots?

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

My entry:

CC92 : First impressions of fast cash by Zapp 1-14-02

The SC.com characters receive a million kajillion smackers. What now? Snowmen can't talk, dingleberry. I think I'll devote my time to designing web standards. Tobor plans to invest in fertilizer companies and shovels. I'm tired of doing things the hard way. Well, I always wanted to travel to Mars and live out my secret agent fantasies, but I'm not sure if I'm really me or if I've been implanted with fake memories or if Sharon Stone -- wait, I'm a donkey! SMACK HER? I BARELY EVEN KNOW HER !! I want a piece of that donkey from panel 4.

CC92 : Denouement by Zapp 1-14-02

Round two of cash distribution begins... Look, if snowmen can't talk then they obviously can't do anything with millions of dollars, right? Right! I glued my eyelids shut. Please help. $infinity,000.00? DESTRUCTION THE AMERICA! NOW!! I just wanted to appear in a comic. Just once. I'll go now. *sob* *ding* *ding* *ding* Quit looking at me!