Well , actually , he wasnt , and hes a murderous psychopath , but i digress.

The halls of stripcreator fell silent at the sound of her voice , the weight of her stare. Even Tobor shudders at the mention of her name.

Yes , its LadyJ. And shes pretty pissed off.

So pissed off in fact , that shes killed another forumuser in a truly gruesome manner.

And your Task : Write a three part comic -

Part 1 :The Murder. How was the act done. With the lead pipe in the Billiard Room , or pushed in front of an 18 wheeler off a motorway bridge. And who was the victim?(My moneys on Nate).

Part 2 : The Trial. If they could get OJ off , they can get anyone off , right? (You can extend this to as many strips as you want , since it has endless opportunities for making Johnny Cochrane jokes).

Part 3 : The Aftermath. Guilty or Innocent? Free to do a Kathleen Turner in Serial Mom , and murder the Juror who was wearing white shoes after Labor Day? Or sentenced to 25 years of making other prisoners lives a living hell? You decide.

(I should point out for future reference , this is an idea i came up with months ago. Its just immensely bad timing on LadyJ's part to sweep me in the Serial Comic Contest at this time).

KKP

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Ack! If only I hadn't used up all my good court jokes in Tobor In Chains!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Whose got the script of the court room bit in Airplane II? Lol, this could be fun, shall I do this first or the other 99? And I can see you beng the victim in many people's comics.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

This is a bit of a missed opportunity. You could have had a Room 101 themed contest.

CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 1 by Bazilla 2-20-02

I was walking down the road one day, oh hi little girl! Get Bent! Gee, what a nice young gal! On the merry merry month of May! heh heh heh...

CC 101: Th world vs. LadyJ 2 by Bazilla 2-20-02

Today Mr. Boolet Right, or Boorite as he liked to be called was found on a sidewalk dead, reports suggest he was shot... Yes, but they don't know who! MWHAHAHA ...by someone known as LadyJ Shit! And in lighter news, the 8ft ass raping robot has been brought to a stop.. I need to find my lawyer!

CC 101: The world vs. Lady J 3 by Bazilla 2-20-02

If you'll come with me mam. No, I didn't do anything! Then you won't mind coming down to the prison so we can check a few things out. Can I get my lawyer now! Mmmmmmmm, Yes.

CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 4 by Bazilla 2-20-02

Shit Jesus! I need someone they'll believe, who would trust a Jew that was supposed to die thousands of years ago! I'll get your proper lawyer then. Dr. Bee, I'm in total shit, you got to get me out of this one! Listen, I'm trying everything I can, you're going to court tomorrow, I'll try and work something out. I have plentiful of knowledge, I'll sort it all out.

CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 5 by Bazilla 2-20-02

ALL RISE! For the one the lawyer's go crazy for! Judge Fly! Thank you, you can all sit down now. Fuck off Fly! Yeah! Fly you rock! Don't worry, I know this guy, he doesn't know anything.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 7']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 8']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 9']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 101: The World vs. LadyJ 10']

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Posted in four segments to reduce page size. Here's the setup ...

Chorus by kaufman 2-20-02

We tell you today of a lady named J who committed hei-nous hem of may. Killed with a smile, an act quite vile, now she faces a trial as you'll see in a while. She may be convicted of the crime she inflicted, have her movement restricted or her neck noose-constricted. It's really quite gory, what she did to her quarry, I am quite sorry to relate this story. But was it a true killing? This software willing, you'll determine the villain, but enough bean-spilling. She offed the ex-sperm known as Keegans Perm, faces a life term, so Shave of Burm.

Prelude by kaufman 2-20-02

WHAT? HOW DARE YOU! Hell hath no fury like a woman corn'ed.

The Gathering Storm by kaufman 2-20-02

I swear, the next person who ticks me off is going to face my wrath, but good! Hey, LadyJ, did you see the rules I made for CC 101? You just might want to lay low for a week :-) LIE low! LIE low! You're toast, perm. And one death's too good fo you ...

A Rose by any Other Name by kaufman 2-20-02

So with the cloning formula, I'll be able to get my revenge *many* times. I'll just test it on this beetle ... Hmmm, side effect massive growth, and the subject's gone inert. No problem. Now mix it in these liquor bottles and how to get them into Scotland without raising suspicion? Hey Fuzzyman, could you photoshop me an Irish passport? Sure thing, Lady O'J.

The sums of the clones of the hippopotamus are equal by kaufman 2-20-02

At a recent scientific conference: As you recall, the clone of Dolly the Sheep had the cell structure of an older sheep. It is clear that cloning does not result in a concommitant duplication of the life energy. Rather, it is shared among the individuals. The equation sigma(l * m * s)=k applies, where l is the lifespan, m is the metabolism rate, s is the size, and k is a constant.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Liar in the Lair by kaufman 2-20-02

I hope we can lie our past problems aside. No hard feelings? None at all. Here, have a drink. .................. ZAP .................. They're so big! And there are so many of them, and they're all dead! What will I do with them? Where can I hide them?

One day in the South Pacific by kaufman 2-20-02

Honey, thank you for bringing me to Easter Island! It's more than I ever imagined. Wait a minute ... those aren't statues!

Once bitten, twice shyster by kaufman 2-20-02

LadyJ, you're under arrest for murder. Murder? I didn't kill anybody. I'll need a dream team of lawyers to defend me. I want DexX and Kaufman and Gabe and Spankling ... I'll get them for you. And of course I expect you to be the head of my defense team. Of course.

Cross-Examination by kaufman 2-20-02

Good news. Thanks to the new defendants' rights law, the accused gets to choose his or her own prosecutor. You mean I can choose any dumb bozo to make the case against me? Jesus! I am going to prove you SO guilty!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

WWA by kaufman 2-20-02

Please tell the Court where you were on the night of the murder? I was in St. Louis. Where were you? Why, I was nailed to this bloody piece of wood.

Legal Briefs by kaufman 2-20-02

So she bought half-filled bottles of Scotch from your store. Doesn't that suggest she was going to add some sinister drug to it? OBJECTION!!! Withdrawn. No further questions. Your witness. The Defense attempts to discredit the witness. Mr. Boorite, the DA would like us to believe you're a respectable liquor store owner. And yet, you're not wearing any pants. I'm not? HELP! THIEF!

Hoping for a hung jury ... by kaufman 2-20-02

Counsel would like to approach the Bench. Approach. Motion to dismiss, Your Honor. Denied. I'm not going to get your client off just like that. Well, in that case, could you get me off? Sure. This Court is in recess while we retire to Chambers.

Johnny Cochrane wishes he thought of this by kaufman 2-20-02

You are the administrator of stripcreator, and I am the prime submitter of art for the site, am I not? That is correct. So were the jury about to convict, I'd just have to draw a "NOT" prop, which could be put in the left half of a panel, while the foreman says "Guilty" in the right half. Yeah, seems there's not much point to this trial, then. Let's go for a beer.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Nanoperm? by kaufman 2-20-02

If the metabolism rate varies inversely with the size and number of clones, that means the alleged victim is not actually dead, right? That's true. He is alive, but at a much slower pace. But in the time it takes him to blink, the sun will burn out. He might as well be dead, no? It would seem there is no future for him. But if he were shrunk to subatomic size, he could lead a normal life. That would be so neat, to be smaller than an atom and able to permeate anything. PERMeate. My god, it's been done already, hasn't it?

The End (Part 1) by kaufman 2-20-02

Miniperms are everywhere! I'll hide in his doughnut, you grab his gun. And I mean everywhere! I've been hanging out in the Oval Office. And you? Let's just say that Laura Bush is a hottie. Utter chaos at the courthouse as the truth sinks in!

The End (Part 2) by kaufman 2-20-02

Everyone in the courtroom is dead, so no one remains to warn the world about the invasion of the microperms. moh? Hey, there are some bones. I'm going to climb in!

Exeunt by kaufman 2-20-02

Good heavens, we've got little Kevins, I count eleven million seventy seven. What a fall, to have it all, be cloned and tall, and then be small. I dare say, for Lady J, a steep price to pay, as bones she'll stay . The judge and jury and lawyers and Jesus too, and I don't care that this doesn't rhyme, your mom was good last night. Burma Shave

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Is there a deadline on this thing?

Hopefully it'll be a couple of days away, I need to get myself in "the mood" to write a series just now.

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Dad was flammable

72 hours from when the contest went up.

So you have 48 hours left. Judging on Saturday , 10pm GMT.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I guess I'm flattered.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I'm feeling awfully inadequate after reading kaufman's entry.

No, wait, I always feel that way.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Bitch Hunt - Prologue by BigEvilDan 2-21-02

Ha! Bazilla picked me to win in the Comic Cup, if not you. What are you going to do now? His arrogance is based on Bazilla's idiocy? Must... not... hit... him... Just stay cool... Hmm...that's never happened before. Have I developed some sort of unholy power? That woman just set a man on fire! She's a witch! Get her! At least that angry mob is coming to kill me. I was afraid I'd have to dress up like a goth and act all angsty.

Bitch Hunt - Part 1 by BigEvilDan 2-21-02

LadyJ, the church accuses you of the unholy art of bitchcraft. During this trial you will be subjected to several potentially lethal tests in the name of truth. So if I'm not a witch I die, but if I actually was a witch I could fry you without thinking twice. Doesn't that make the trial a bit pointless? If you think like that, then the satanists have already won. Ah, you must be a government-funded inquisition. That explains it.

Bitch Hunt - Part 2 by BigEvilDan 2-21-02

If The Wizard of Oz has taught us anything, it's that witches hate water and midgets. So I am going to push the accused into the water. Hey! Well, she's not melting. But she does appear to be walking on water. Thanks to Satan, no doubt. No, it's just really shallow. I almost hurt myself. Of course it's shallow. You wouldn't want those God-fearing midgets to drown, would you?

Bitch Hunt - Part 3 by BigEvilDan 2-21-02

LadyJ, if you are really not a witch, please take this piece of garlic. Umm...okay. But all it proves is that I'm not a vampire. Exactly! Do you know what else isn't a vampire? A witch! Wow. I'm simply amazed at how warped your logic is. That's nothing. Last week I proved that the capital of Canada is the colour blue and that triangles don't exist. Incredible.

Bitch Hunt - Part 4 by BigEvilDan 2-21-02

It's time to call in our first and only witness. Who's that? The victim. We're conducting a seance. Wait, you're raising the dead? Isn't that even more evil than setting someone on fire? I thought we discussed the logic thing. Oh, right.

[Click to view comic: 'Bitch Hunt - Epilogue']

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Can i just register my disappointment that LadyJ hasnt made an entry.
The Irony-o-meter would have gone off the chart had she entered and won.

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w00t

Sorry to disappoint.

I'm just not feeling up to a 3-parter right now.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

One thing I learned from competing in CC98 is the importance of storyboarding a long series before making the strips. So that's what I did. I have just finished storyboarding, and I will now begin to make the strips. The series will be titled "Bitch Trial."

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

You have 2 hours and 32 minutes to get your strip in.
Cmon people. Theres a very weak response to this strip. Half the regulars in CC's appear to have wandered off for a bit.

Im greatly disappointed.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Different strokes for different folks here. For better or worse, my entry sort of wrote itself. I had a few base strips that I decided to build from, and then started filling in the gaps (it's no coincidence that the series comics are not in numerical order.) I'm actually kind of tickled that some of the things I wrote early fit so well into what I wound up doing late, but it wasn't at all preplanned. In fact, it was only around the last 3 strips that I had any clue of how I'd end the darn thing.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Different strokes for different folks here. For better or worse, my entry sort of wrote itself.

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I follow the J. Michael Straczynski method. I usually have some sort of story arc in mind, but the individual episode write themselves. In some cases, I barely even have that... just a premise of, "what would happen if...?"

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Like Kaufman did, I'll break this into multiple posts. This first one contains the prologue.

CC101: Bitch Trial, Prologue, part i by fpd 2-23-02

Curse and damn you, LadyJ! I'm a better stripper than you. I should have won. I hate you! I hate you! Who's wearing the pants now, Kevin? You couldn't even beat a girl. Why you #$@%* bitch! I'm going to murder you! ... Aaah! The pain! Bloody hell! Aaah! Ha, ha, ha, ha! You've gone to a better place now, Kevin. Hell hath no fury like this woman.

CC101: Bitch Trial, Prologue, part ii by fpd 2-23-02

Hello Boor, I was just on my way out after visiting Kevin. Good to see you, LadyJ. Have a good day. Yoo hoo, Kevie! Where are you? Hee, hee. He's sure in for a shock. Oh no! You're as stiff as a corpse. Well, if that's the game you want to play, I'm game.

CC101: Bitch Trial, Prologue, part iii by fpd 2-23-02

Officer, I want to report a crime. LadyJ has killed my life partner, Kevin Keegans Perm. Your life partner, huh? That sounds awfully supicious to me. She killed him through the power of bitchcraft. That's a very serious charge. She could be burned at the stake for this. LadyJ, you're under arrest for killing a man through bitchcraft. Hands off me, you little squealy pig of a man.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.