That's right, this contest involves making a biography about a character of your choice. This means that your comic (or series of comics) must show the birth of a character, his/her/its death, and at least one other major event in their life.

Multiple entries will be accepted. Judging will take place on Wednesday evening. Oh, and thanks to DexX for giving me the idea for this contest.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

ZMED by crabby 3-10-02

Adrian Zmed was born to a middle class family on Chicago's North side. His father a plumber and his mother a whore he was immediately destined for great things. Adrian go get job at laundrohut because your father spend all money on ponies. Hooray, I'm getting a pony! Mr. Hut I need a job at your laundrohut to pay for pony feed. Are you prepared to both Wash and Wash? There might be a name change in the far distant future and we want you to be ready for it. This job is swell! I've made nearly five dollars in three months. I'll be buying pony feed before you can even say Grease 2. I hope poppa gets home soon. He's been gone for three weeks after him and momma got into that fight about the pony he got me.

ZMED 2 by crabby 3-10-02

Soon Adrian and his father would have a falling out and not speak again for many years. Son there is no pony! I've been blowing the families money at the race track and now your mothers leaving me for your best friend Ted. All right! Now me and Ted can have sleep overs every night! Son your new daddy your old best friend Ted wants to talk to you. We had unprotected sex on our honeymoon and now I'm pregnant. Can me and Ted play ball mommy? Look Adrian. We've known eachother for years and I know your stupid so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I shoved my 12 year old cock in your mother and came in her pussy and now shes pregnant I'm gonna tell my mommy your swearing.

ZMED 3 by crabby 3-10-02

Things remained awful for Adrian until he began taking drama classes at a prestigious Northside Chicago High School. Adrian your a fantastic acto but to take it to the next level you have to kill your family and sell their bodies to me and I'll make you a star. Hey I'll do anything to make momma proud. Adrian did kill his family and that bug didn't lie either he landed Adrian a part in the box office bomb Grease 2. So when do i get to make out with John Travolta? I can't work like this. GREASE LIGHTNING! This kids gonna be huge in hollywood.

ZMED 4 by crabby 3-10-02

The movie tanked at the box office and Adrian spent the next fifteen years sleeping with the cheapest of male prostitutes. I want you to give me a warm jizz shot in my ear to wake me up every morning I got lots of Grease 2 money to throw around. Yes sir! 10 years later....... IWould you at least grab my ass for fifty cents? Yes sir! 15 years later.......... Look you already have all my Grease 2 money. I'm broke how about you let me toss your salad for two bucks? Yes sir!

ZMED 5 by crabby 3-10-02

Adrian Zmed is now roaming the streets working for Chicagos most famous pimp the Bishop Don Magic Juan I love you Don Magic Juan. Don't forget the bishop baby, I had to sleep with a whole lot a priests to get that title. Now go sell your ass. Who knowns what the future holds for Adrian Zmed but if it's anything like his past the sky's the limit. How much to let me cum in your ass and then suck out all the cum? For an old friend like you, this ones on the house.

Damn! I didn't even get the first entry in.

CC 105: Life of Jesus by Bazilla 3-10-02

Daddy Joseph, when I grow up, I want to do lots of tricks. Only if King Herald doesn't kill you though Jesus. ..and put on hat on right! You look like a nark! Shut up Mum! I'm not taking no shit off no-one! OK Mum! I'm sorry! Can I come down now? Not until you promise to do that water walking thing again! That's cool!

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Seeing as I'm on my way to church, I won't slap you around.

Then again, you did insult Jesus...

CC 105 Anything is possible, even pocket pool tournaments. by drave 3-10-02

Like all children, Johnny's birth was a celebration of possibility. Our little man is going to make a difference in this world! He's going to be president of the universe someday! I know! I can just feel it! Now put him in front of the TV so he doesn't make noise. And Johnny bore witness to the events of the world in which he lived. "I'll take Jimmy Walker in center square for the win." "Dynomiiite!" In the end, we are stardust. Alright, I think you've wasted enough oxygen. Let's go. Ya ya, next commercial.

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You're ugly. I'm sorry I said that ugly.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Bazilla's life. by Kitty_Kat 3-10-02

To a stick man and a prostitute....... It was born. Hi!! I'm Bazilla!! Ahh..... Relief..... I sorta had to skip the whole important life thing cause there isn't any. But heres where the world rejoices thanks to stripcreator. Hey all my freinds from stripcreator sent me a present!!! Oh boy!!!!

I kinda thought this competiton needed humor so here I am. And to Bazilla... don't feel bad, I'm not far behind you.

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My life totally and completely REEKS.

CC105: Bradography by KajunFirefly 3-10-02

1996, Somewhere in Canada: I really like online comics, but it lacks the interactivity of other websites, perhaps I could design a comic strip creator website! or maybe I'll just go get drunk!

CC105: Bradography, Part Two by KajunFirefly 3-10-02

2000, Somewhere in Canada: already guys, glad you turned up, I have an idea for a comic creator website, but you were all I could afford. Do you guys want the gig? this could be my big break, I just get this horrible feeling that this could be all wrong, like a nail through my head! only if you promise you'll have me coloured in, do you promise, huh? I don't like the fact that you've not bought my ass graphic! sure, I've got nothing better to do! I demand $3,000,000 per appearance!

CC105: Bradography, Part Three by KajunFirefly 3-10-02

One day, at the ranch: Hey Johnny, how's the comic creator coming along? not too bad, but I feel it needs a catch-phrase, or an icon, one easily recongisable character to spout a whole series of comics! My uncle was having the same problem, So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna... WAIT A MINUTE! I've just thought of a great idea! yeah yeah yeah, So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines... "Beer makes time die", "Beer makes time die", "Beer makes time die", oh Johnny, you magnificent bastard, you're gonna be RICH!

CC105: Bradography, Part Four by KajunFirefly 3-10-02

Hi asian girl, I was wondering, would you star in a one off promotional comic strip for my new website? yeah, I might lend you my image, but only if you promise not to exploit me. come on, you know me, I wouldn't do anything like that! you don't have a sister do you?

and so, Stripcreator.com was born.

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Dad was flammable

Okay, the birth is of all the characters, the major event in their lives is the beginning of SC.com, and as for the death, well, it's not so much a death, as an ending:

CC105: Bradography, Part Five by KajunFirefly 3-10-02

Somewhere in Canada: Brad? Brad? Are you okay? TOBOR.... CORNHOLE.... TOBOR.... ALL_YOUR_BASE.... ZZZZ *snort* huh? I just had the weirdest dream about a comic creator website, and YOU were there.... and YOU were there! and YOU.......and even OH DEAR GOD NO! GABE WAS REAL??

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Dad was flammable

Birth of Dr. Pedantic by kaufman 3-10-02

Congratulations! You two are the new parents of a bouncing baby boy! Actually, my body has insufficient elasticity for bouncing. If dropped on a hard surface, I'll make more of a ... HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR SON?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Okay, so only the first comic was written *for* the contest.

Birth

Untitled by Drexle 3-11-02

That's it, just remember to breathe... an PUSH! Nnneeeeaaarrrrrghh!!! It's almost... AAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! *SQUIP!* Wheeeee!!! Mrs. Wirth, you are now the proud mother of a fine young.... errrmm.... wirthling.

A scene from his childhood

Hammer Toss by Drexle 11-01-01

Heave... Ho! Wheeeeeeee.... ...eeeeeeeeeeee.... ...eeeeeeeeeeee.... ...eeeeeeeeeeee.... ...eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Death

Skeet Shooting by Drexle 10-24-01

Pull!!! (*Whoooosh!!!*) (*BANG!!!*)

CC#105: Biography by flickguy 3-11-02

From the moment he was born, Dog-on-ball had a very special skill. Look, Ma! No hands! My mother warned me not to have drunken one-night-stands... Anxious to prove himself, Dog-on-ball ran away and joined a circus, where he was adored by children of all ages. Mr. Elephant, I'm sorry I stole your gig, but I really need this job. Who let the dog in? Sadly, they couldn't teach an old dog-on-ball new tricks. Look, we taught him to play dead! I'm not playing, you dolts.

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This is not my empire.

CC105 - A Life Remembered by TheBlairZip 3-11-02

Whew! What a day. Time for a drink and a smoke. Mr. Stinky Butt; b. 9:35pm, d. 9:40pm And, now for a good night's sleep.

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

Ah... pro basketball and its universal-international appeal. I guphed the end chronology so use the links below instead of the slide-show advance arrows.

Batteries Are Included: Kobe I's Now at Foot Locker CC:105 by kelly_midnight 3-11-02

Named after a steak at a suburban Philadelphia restaurant Kobe... ... was raised in a cosmopolitan household by former 76er Joe "Jelly Bean" Bryant. Siete il mio adidas? Why yes, son, I am your daddy. The elder Bryant had to turn to basketball abroad to extend his flagging career. Dove siete, adidas? I'ma gone-a ballin' with the Italians, son.

Batteries Are Included: Kobe II's Now at Foot Locker CC:105 by kelly_midnight 3-11-02

After travelling extensively with his father, the multi-lingual Kobe Bryant... ...settled into a prolific career at Lower Marion where he dominated all comers in Pennsylvania prep hoops. Chi è il vostro adidas?!! You're our daddy, Kobe! Kobe then had a difficult choice between a college education and the lucre of an early NBA start.. Siete il mio adidas? Sure, I'm your daddy and my love is in dollari. This way, superstar.

Batteries Are Included: Kobe III's now at Foot Locker CC:105 by kelly_midnight 3-11-02

Once in Los Angeles, young Kobe was often at odds with the other Laker star, Shaquille O'Neal... Odio Shaq-adidas. Mi amo. I hate Kobe. I love myself. ... However, many league victories and an NBA Championship... ... endeared Kobe to Shaq and the rest of the world. Mi amo. I love you too, little guy.

Batteries Are Included: Kobe IV's now at Foot Locker CC:105 by kelly_midnight 3-11-02

2001 saw Kobe Bryant's return to vanquish his hometown Sixers for another NBA championship... Strappo i vostri cuori verso l'esterno. Chi è il vostro adidas?!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Just try and rip our hearts out you arrogant spoiled suburban shit! You ain't nobody's daddy. No one turns their back on Philly! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ... His stock as a product endorser rose into the stratosphere... "Comprerete i miei Adidas!" ...2002: Kobe's on-court exploits earns an All-Star MVP trophy which was greeted, again, by the City of Brotherly Love. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You have a ring but we will rip out YOUR heart! Go find your daddy, you crybaby brat showoff dick. Philly turns its back on you!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Sono danneggiato. *sob* Dove è il mio adidas? *sob*

Batteries Are Included: Kobe V's now at Foot Locker CC:105 by kelly_midnight 3-11-02

The well-publicized jeering by his former hometown set Kobe Bryant on a downward spiral through the late winter of 2002. Fuck_those_Philadelphians,_you are a proud Los Angelina now. Shaq-daddy will get you focused on what matters, little guy. I'll even wear your jersey. *sob* Mille grazie, Shaq-adidas. *sob* Shaquille O'Neal's on-court mentorship could not right Bryant's ship. Kobe, as the clean-cut, articulate and affable product endorser, suffered a most tragic death.... (Shaq) I'll kill you, Brad Miller!!! (Kobe) Li ucciderò, Reggie Miller!!! ...Thanks_for_watching The Life of Kobe. We will return you to more of NBC's continuous coverage of the Lakers after a word from ADIDAS! BOOOOOOOOOOO! I hate your Somali Afro and your ugly-ass shoes, Kobe! BOOOOOOOOOO!

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yeah the tomatoes were stupid. Sue me.

CC105: Birth by fpd 3-10-02

It's almost out, Maura. Push, push, push! I hate you, Clango!! How could you do this to me, you worthless bucket of bolts! I can see the head. Just push some more, Maura. I swear, I'm going to kill you, Clango! Arrrrgh! Why look at you! You're such a lovely little cyborg girl. Come to Mommy! Why were you screaming at Daddy, Mommy? What kind of dysfunctional family have I been born into?

CC105: Waiting by the Phone by fpd 3-11-02

Oh, I sure hope he calls. I've been waiting by the phone all day. *** ring, ring *** Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!! Hello!! wheee ooooh wheeee ooooh ooooh weeee eeeeeee. Oh, it's so good to hear your voice, Computron.

CC105: First Date by fpd 3-11-02

Oh Deirdre, I so want to interface with you. Please, Computron, we're still young. We have our whole lives ahead of us. Oh, but Deirdre, I so want to put my network card into your network slot. Think of how exciting it will be. Not me, not now, Computron. I have dreams. I'm going to be somebody. Don't be such a prude, Deirdre. Everybody's doing it. You boys are all alike. All you want to do is jump a girl's circuits.

CC105: New School by fpd 3-11-02

Mom, I feel that something's missing in my life. I want to go to school with human children. But honey, aren't you happy at Cybernetic Junior High? I'm half human, Mom. I won't feel like a whole person unless I explore both sides of who I am. All right dear, I'll enroll you in public school. Hi, I'm Deirdre. Can we be friends? You look funny. I'm too cool to be friends with a weirdo like you.