cc107: Everyone loves Ellen by lara7 3-18-02

Hi honey! I'm home! Give me a kiss! Oh Tobor! You know I'm a lesbian. Oh. Uh, then why did we get married?

You know how, sometimes,a TV show comes around that has such a lousy premise and is such an awful idea that you know cancellation is imminent without even having to watch it (Emeril comes to mind)?.

Your mission is to show an episode or part of an episode from a fictional unfunny and ill-advised sitcom. Bad Spin-offs from real shows are allowed, but keep in mind if I don't recognize it, I'm unlikely to find humor in it.

And-
Your strip must contain one (and only one) of the following words: Basket, Brisket, Briquette, Baguette, Tantric, Taskforce, Tricky, or Bioluminescent.

Contest concludes around 11pm PST Wednesday the 20th.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Not an entry, but I'm not sure how I could do strips about these, so, here is a link to The New Shows On UPN parody.

The sitcoms would be:

- Pope Leroy
- The God Couple
- Siamese Surprise
- Porta-John Pappy

I imagine that Pope Leory could actually make it on UPN, or maybe Fox.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

CC 107: Spammer and Son by kaufman 3-18-02

This will be so good. Two million people are about to get emails telling them how to become bioluminescent. What the? Son, what happened to the computer? We were out of eggs, so I fried the motherboard.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 107: The Substitute by kaufman 3-18-02

... I don't care. It shouldn't take an entire taskforce; I just want a teaching job. Did you hear me? I don't care! Just tell me what school to go to. So if the length of the hypoteneuse is six units, and one of the angles is 30 degrees ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 107: Medusa's Wild by kaufman 3-18-02

Honey, could you reach up and get that can of paint off the top shelf? ... Oh, never mind, I'll do it myself. Harold, that little boy just fell into the lake. Don't just stand there, rescue him! I'm changing into my slinkiest negligee now. I hope you'll join me in bed tonight.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Dummkopf had so much fun making the last comic, he forgot the other rule. Here's Take Two.

Medusa's Wild (the other one was just a pilot) by kaufman 3-18-02

Honey, could you reach up and get that basket off the top shelf? ... Oh, never mind, I'll do it myself. Harold, that little boy just fell into the lake. Don't just stand there, rescue him! I'm changing into my slinkiest negligee now. I hope you'll join me in bed tonight.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Created this one a while ago ...

Nearly Every Episode of "Benson" by Namgubed 10-04-01

Cue "Benson" theme music. This is getting monotonous. BENSON!! Cue studio audience laughter. What do you want, Clayton, you paramecium? Benson, the Governor wants to see you! Cue studio audience applause. Can't you see that I'm taking a dump? Benson, you silly person of color!

So I figured, what if Lloyd Bentsen became the governor of some midwestern state after losing his 1992 Veep bid, and it became a sit-com?

Nearly every episode of "Bentsen" by Namgubed 3-18-02

Cue "Bentsen" theme music. Awwright, who shtole mah teef? BENTSEN!! Cue studio audience applause. Clayton, you sure ain't no Jack Kennedy! Lobbyists with huge sacks of money are waiting for you, ironically, in the lobby. Cue studio audience laughter. Can't you see I'm practicing Tantric yoga on this donkey? And here I thought he was taking my temperature!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC107: Could this BE any worse by KajunFirefly 3-18-02

a basket full of fun right now on E4, we have a new spin-off series from the US starring the less annoying and shallow characters from "Friends"

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Dad was flammable

CC107 - It's Bastard Fish! by kramer_vs_kramer 3-18-02

Hi honey, I'm home! Damn you foul woman. I thought you were going to be out all night, so I've called for some hoes and a gift basket of crack. Well, you're just going to have to cancel them. My mother's coming over for dinner and I want you to be on your best behaviour. That evil harridan? Sometimes, dearest, I wish you were an orphan. But most of the time I just wish I was a widower. You can be so cruel sometimes. I wonder why I married you in the first place. If I recall, it was something to do with my liquid assets.

CC107 My Two Dads :The second coming by drave 3-18-02

My name's Petey. I guess I'm just a normal kid. Except that I have two dads. aw man. Petey you've failed your math test. I want this signed by one of your parents. I know what you're thinking, "You little homophobe! It's 2002 for goshness sakes!" But then... Dads? I failed my math test. You haven't met my Dads. All is forgiven my son. You little *censored*! Why didn't you cheat like I told you to? As punishment one of my minons will be getting tantric on your *censored*.

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You're ugly. I'm sorry I said that ugly.

Three promos for My 2 Dads 2: The 2nd coming by drave 3-18-02

A car crash left Petey and orphan, but when his grandfathers step in to raise him, he'll wish he had died too. Please! No more tantric demon sex punishment! I'll be good!! His only daughter died leaving her son an orphan. Can he turn the other cheek to help his grandchild? Spaketh I "Suffer the little children, let them come unto me." Watch the wacky antics of Satan and his minons in their most challanging adventure yet. Raising the 10 year old child of his dead son. *CENSORED* RAAAAAAAGHHH

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You're ugly. I'm sorry I said that ugly.

CC 107: Nuthouse! by BigEvilDan 3-18-02

Hey Clyde! What's this I hear about you doubling Mr. Jenkin's bill? This isn't some tricky way of ripping of the patients, is it? Not at all, my dear. We're just charging by the personality now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Damn laugh track. Hang on, I have to reassure the patients that the voices aren't laughing at them. By the way, we got another Jesus in today. Make sure he isn't sharing a room with our Santa Claus this time.

CC 107: The Awed Couple by BigEvilDan 3-18-02

That new lamp is bitchin'. It's, like, totally bioluminescent!

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Heres one you've all heard of.

The Jimpsons by Kitty_Kat 3-18-02

hello Sarge. get me some beer. Oh, Its you Romer. Have you seen Cart or Pisa? No, but I saw Haggie fall out the window. OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!! I didn't have my beer then. So when am I gonna get it? MY BABY!!!!

I shoulda called it the pimpsons. Oh well.

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My life totally and completely REEKS.

Vows of Silence by kaufman 3-18-02

Tonight's episode: A Tricky Situation

Bill Monohan, Avian Proctologist by kaufman 3-18-02

Hold tight, almost there. Is she all right, Dr. Monohan? Yes, but that's the third bird you've brought in this month with a charcoal briquette lodged in its rectum. Well, Henry does love to roast them ... Have you ever considered a propane grill?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC107: Leper in the Hood by Thomasisneat 3-18-02

What happens when a diseased, preppy suburbanite goes to hang out with da boyz in da hood? Laughter, laughter, and laughter! What is it that is up, my brother? Yo, man! I don't wanna touch your rotting carcass hand! Shit... Starring Yoko Ono as a street smart thug lady who teaches Lenny the Leper the ropes! Girl - ho - dog, why doesn't anyone dig my groovy flavors? Is it because I be a rich white boy? Dayum, Lenny. The only reason brothas aren't feeling you is because you a leper! Next week: Lenny goes to an ODB concert to try and fit in with the playas! Unfortunately, he ends up getting played! Only on UPN! Yo, I'm feeling it! I got your money, Old Dirty Man! Shit, son! Three of yo' fingers just fell off!

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Lots of people think anonymity brings them at a higher level of power... I just think it makes them larger dickheads than they really are in person. :-D

I realized that I messed up on that rule about using certain words, and fixed it. So heres the remake.

The Pimpsons by Kitty_Kat 3-18-02

Marge, getting my beer from you is tricky, Barge. What should I do You bitch. Maybe you should tell me why you have all these other girls with you. I'm a pimp. Now where is my beer and the "Children" of the pimp. sometimes I wished I had another boss. RAR TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!! I think I preferred Pomer.

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My life totally and completely REEKS.

CC107 (Sitcom): Outside, By the Family Stew by Blew_Crabs 3-18-02

Premise: 1847, The Donners are wintering in the Sierra Nevadas. We better get this Donner Party started right! I'll get the finger food. They head a family of sanguine prospectors, hankering for Riches. Are you looking for the mother lode? No, my wife, that is not my desire. I'm looking for Mother's LOBE. Dozens of characters will pass through the Donners in a gest of campiness. Rather than digging through fire and briquettes, just defrost some of Adam's ribs. Must gain Mother's ear. Must say I relished her.

CC107: Grunge Rock & Love Give Some Clues to Understanding by Blew_Crabs 3-18-02

Premise: 1995, Seattle. Courtney and Kurt live with filthy animals, plenty of horse and guitars. Hey Fuckhead. Spin_and_Alternative_Press_say_that Dave is the pop sensibility and musical genius of Nirvana. Whatdahell, don't you know how to play in one key? What was the last hook you wrote? The brain-fried blonde will prove to be sage in her absurd insight and warped observation. Pearl Jam will probably outsell all of your albums by the end of the year. Shit..with_Billy_Corrigan_ghost_writing, Hole will surpass the critical acclaim of Nevermind. Be my arm candy for Grammys?? Kurt will complement this irony with his curious brand of physical comedy. Goddamn basket case, whadya doin'? Visiting Jimi's grave again? ... married... burried... yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeeeaaah...

CC 107 (Failed Sitcoms): Dead and Not From New York by Blew_Crabs 3-18-02

Premise: 2002. This comedy will set itself apart from the previous. First, no attractive, whipsmart urbanites with neurotic dysfunction. Buh-bye now. No protracted situations founded in misunderstanding and it will be devoid of sexual innuendo. Our non-Ivy writers will not lampoon success. Finally, the proposed show will have content and will NOT, repeat, will NOT be set in the New York Metro Area. Got it? My decency taskforce has no fuckin' clue.

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[img]http://photo.msn.s8.com/MS8zLzEwNTIwMTk4NjQvMS80MDE3LzE1NS8zMi9yZmM1RHUxZU9fZzNxRnk0RkFEdjB3/46b435275f6d18e45188099d0587305d/clbk=HcZNnT9kkUh6!cx8ceVWZpdc4adQXMF7dxfRN8fxUJ20XRZVw0NDoYaVMU251evB

CC 107: Buried, with Children by kaufman 3-19-02

I'm sorry, Alice. Since Mike succumbed to AIDS, I've decided I can't raise the family on my own. I'm entombing the children with him, and letting you go. I understand, Mrs. Brady. Have a nice life. Daddy, Jan is eating Tiger brisket in front of me again! Bobby, did you take my magic tiki pendant? No way, Peter. You can't get it from me!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC107: Sleepers, Episode 1 by israphael 3-19-02

[Islamabad, 1991] Gentlemen, you are the select members of the Islamic Revolutionary Taskforce. Today we send you to America to do Allah's work. Today's the big day. You will join their society and wait for the order to strike. Now for your job assignments. Allaf and Fahad you will become engineers. Said will be a airline pilot. I wonder what I'll be. Maybe a doctor... or a lawyer. And Khan... you'll be a taxi driver. Great.

CC107: Sleepers, Episode 2 by israphael 3-19-02

To pass as an American citizen will be tricky. So each of you will take up one un-Islamic trait. Allaf you will take up drinking. Fahad you will smoke. Said you can fornicate with those loose American women. Alright! And Khan... you will eat pork. I'll trade you, Said.

CC107: Sleepers, Episode 3 by israphael 3-19-02

[New York, 2001] Of course, I'll marry you! You've made me the happiest man in the world. I'll set up the wedding for tomorrow afternoon at the mosque. Well my luck has certainly changed. I just made day shift supervisor at work. And by tomorrow night I'll be having hot sweaty trantic sex with my new bride. Allah must be smiling on me. *RING*

CC107: Sleepers, Episode 4 by israphael 3-19-02

Your task will be to deliver these explosives molded in the shape of baguettes to the Sunshine Deli tomorrow at 9 AM sharp. Why the Sunshine Deli? Is it a front for Israeli intelligence? Or is this an assissination attempt on an important person who eats there? Neither. I just don't like the food there.

CC107: Sleepers, Episode 5 by israphael 3-19-02

I can't believe on the most important day of my life I overslept. Oh well, I'm only a few minutes late. All I need to do is leave this basket of explosives at the deli and then I can get on with the rest of my life.

[Click to view comic: 'CC107: Sleepers, Episode 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC107: Sleepers, Episode 7']

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

cc 107: Tobor and Lance - THEY FIGHT CRIME! by djsparkydog 3-19-02

He's a giant angry red robot with an anal love obsession from the mean streets of L.A. RAAAAAAAAAAAR!!! He's a saucy art critic with a penchant for beatnik poetry from the classiest parts of New York. It speaks to me of pain... sorrow... darkness... and a hint of moral ambiguity coupled with a struugle against a dark addiction... It BURNS with genius! I'm just a bench the art exhibit is inside. TOGETHER... THEY FIGHT CRIME!!!!!!! It's obvious to me the killer had no idea how to juxtapse the blood in conrast to the concrete. The splatters are wild and erratic, not primal, not even full of passion. He must be stopped. RAAAAAR!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE HOMICIDAL NUTJOB!!!