As johnnysokko has recently shown us, we're all unfunny. So I figured why be angry about our lack of funniness? Why don't we celebrate it? There are many unfunny people out there looking for a role model. We could be those role models.

So, in that spirit, I am posting the comic I am least proud of. My worst comic. (This wasn't an easy choice; I passed up a comic in which I actually used the phrase Hammer Time to pick this one.) Here it is:

Eye Contact 2: The Electric Boogaloo by ObiJo 2-10-01

Ah, ha! You blinked first. What!?! I didn't blink, I just moved my eyes. No, bullshit. You lost, pay up.

So, I ask you all to join me in this, the Festival of Unfunny, and post your least favorite comic you've done. We'll have a drab ole time!

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I'm with Desc on how bad most of mine were:

Nuts! by Jael 2-15-01

Consider the cute and sweet squirrel.... Consider the apathetic surly teenager being inspected by the cute and sweet squirrel Consider the rabid squirrel with the taste for human flesh nuts

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

The envelope please... the award for unfunniest Boorite comic, non-All Your Base category, goes to....

Father, who art thou? by boorite 3-23-01

WHO'S YOUR DADDY? Get bent, creep! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? Eeewwwwww. O Lord, I just can't seem to make it with the chicks. WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Wanna hear something really pathetic? I know the strip is not funny, but I laugh at it anyway. I laugh at my own unfunny comics. It don't get no better than that.

Oh, I laughed at y'all's unfunny comics, too.

By the way, mine's the first unfunniest comic not to feature Gabe. So-- as of this writing, the unfunniest comics have a Gabe Factor (GF) of 75%. Coincidence or causation? Perhaps we can view GF as a measure of unfunnyness.

---
What others say about boorite!

Boy, the more I look back at mine...they really ARE unfunny!

Recasting a Remake of a Remake of a Classic Or Something by Jael 1-25-01

Somewhere...in pixelized land. Where am I? Once upon a time, Phillip you were the comic sidekick of the one they call....Jon. Phillip? Hefeweizen...remember the Hefeweizen! Yeah Phillip...he left you..his BEST friend!! For me...we made movies, we made money...you got squat! psst...I really was trying to go somewhere with this.. ;) But I have all these poptarts...why..oh ye Gods WHY? Yours is not to question....just be kind and rewind

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

I don't know about my worst. This is top three, though. There's so much unmitigated crud on my page, it's hard to narrow it down to one.

What was I thinking here? Gangsta boys suck? Squirrels are cool? PayDay bars are good? Did I just want to use "obstreperous" in a comic strip? Does anybody give a fuck? It stinks. Badly, at that. Pee Yoo.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Gee, I'd love to participate, but everything I've ever made is hilariously funny.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

...especially your attempts to obtain an erection.

Oh, we laughed for hours when we saw the video footage...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

That's show biz by boorite 4-12-01

These comics are about as funny as having an elephant tap dance on your nuts. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Ow ow ow ow ow Anything for a laugh!

---
What others say about boorite!

*Cough* *Cough*

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Far too easy... by DexX 1-08-01

You know, it would be very easy to say something cheap and offensive right now. I know... Must... resist... cheap... shot... Every moron who finds the Jesus picture thinks he's SO daring doing something blasphemous... Oh, stop whining! Sorry.

Only my third strip (number 300) but that does not excuse its rampant unfunniness.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

My first comic -- that is my excuse and I will use it as an excuse forever. Actualy, I find most of these "unfunny" comics to be quite entertaining. 8) I will now break that trend.

...or maybe some new cologne? by Scyess 2-23-01

This sucks. I never meet any cute chicks around here. Yip yip! Arf! My god! That little doggie over there is sooooooo cute! I'm going to give him a great big hug and kiss right now!! I'm yours. Teach me The Way. You say that now, but rarely has one of my disciples gotten past the Trial of the Green Bikini Briefs.

---
"Old" is the old new.

...especially your attempts to obtain an erection.

Oh, we laughed for hours when we saw the video footage...

*falls from her chair in hysterical laughter*
^5 Dexx!!!!
God, I'm going to get fired for that outburst!

---
Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

...especially your attempts to obtain an erection.

Oh, we laughed for hours when we saw the video footage...

I told wirthling that him dancing around in a Wonder Woman costume wasn't going to do anything for me, but did he listen? No. So go bitch to him about it.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Not counting all the times I screwed up by hitting "Enter" too soon, I guess this is my worst comic. Worst as in boring...not "in bad taste." That's a WHOLE other ball of scat!

Oh, and why do I find the donkey porn comic so funny descolada? I think there's something seriously wrong with my head.

These Days by fishoutofbeer 3-13-01

Outside Dubya's place Take me to your leader! ............. ............. Uh-oh

The quest for funny by BigEvilDan 1-07-01

The quest for the world's funniest comic... Don't comics usually have dialog? They usually make sense, too.

This is comic #27, my very first strip. This was before I realised that intentionally unfunny is NOT funny. What's scary is the fact that I actually made a sequel to this thing....

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

It isn't?! Damn.

In that case, here's mine:

Irony... by wirthling 2-06-01

Why hasn't wirthling used us robots in any of his comics yet? Because he can't think of anything funny for us to say... Oh...

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

While I think that unfunny people would be better off adopting funny people as their role models, embracing our lack of comedic abilities is quite empowering. It's like the Special Olympics in three panels.

While I've only been at this for a couple weeks, I think this is when I hit bottom:

Oooh! I'm sooo scared! by johnnysokko 4-07-01

Huh. What? Hell looks kinda stupid. Shut up, you insensitive fuck.

I hang my head in shame!

Boy can I empathize...

Eye Contact #1 by ObiJo 2-10-01

Some of us find eye contact very important.

Obviously, I thought eye contact #1 was Soooo good, it deserved a sequel. Well, what doesn't kill us makes us more neurotic.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Quest for funny II - Another Failure by BigEvilDan 1-07-01

The quest for the world's funniest comic continues... It seems our readers didn't respond to the "dog on ball" in the last strip. So? I'm afraid we're going to have to remove you from this comic. But..! God, I hope that makes this strip funny...

I guess I should post the sequel for completeness.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

But that was funny.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Well, it's a tough call, but I guess I'll have to say this is the one of mine that I like least. Not that I wouldn't do it over again if I had the chance -- the third panel was begging me to write it. But at least I recognize it's not funny.

Although I'd say about 90% of the strips posted in this thread so far are nothing to be ashamed of.

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=2825

In which I make fun of how Strip Creator characters look by evil_d 1-27-01

Are you a giant, mister? Your head is taller than I am. It's a question of perspective. As in, someone doesn't have any. Ouch! Your legs must be bent backwards! What makes you think I have legs? Ah, never mind, just shut up and give me a Pop-Tart, or a jewel case, or a condom, or whatever the hell those things in your arms are. And now, the weather... today it's expected to be sunny and warm in the first two and a half feet from the ground, but cold at higher elevations.... Sweet! I'm dressed perfectly!

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Are you kidding me?! Of all the supposedly unfunny comics in this thread, this is by far my favorite.

I especially like the line: "Ah, never mind, just shut up and give me a Pop-Tart, or a jewel case, or a condom, or whatever the hell those things in your arms are."

That's great stuff...

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I agree with everyone who has made comments similar to "Huh? But I thought that was funny!"

If you're reading through a list of supposedly unfunny comics and you crack up laughing several times, you know something is a bit wonky...

...probably your own psyche, I admit, but then I never claimed to be sane.

Funny how sane people are never said to be "hinged".

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Like everyone else here, I got a lot of laughs out of these unfunny comics.

Here's the one of mine that bothers me the most. It's the first one where I faced the wrath of the Enter button, but the worst part... it's one of my highest rated comics. What is with people these days?

Inspiration and obfuscation by NeoVid 3-04-01

Thought he could lose me in here, did he... He's gotta be here someplace. Oh hell. I'll look somewhere else. Whew. Good thing I'm invisible today.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

And here's the most naturally unfunny one I did. I didn't bother to realize that if they don't know what the word means, they really won't get it.

This strip is #2! by NeoVid 3-04-01

I guess you've heard some bad stuff about me. You got that right. What kinda evil are you planning? I've heard about the one other comic strip you came up with. ...Really, I'm not going to use that idea about using 'cunnilingus' in a punchline. Now we're in for it... See? Told you. What's that word mean? I wanna know!

Maybe Dr Pedantic could explain it. Heh heh.

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet