This contest is all about you! yay! I want to know your life story. I want to know all about your life.

I want you to sit down, right now and think of the main events or decisions that have affected your life. Birth till now.

But since this is your life story, the past just ain't good enough. I want you to then imagine where you want your life to go. Assume that no lottery winnings, or marrying of nymphomaniac underwear models, or anything else outlandish happens. But also assume your life from this point on is exactly how you would have it(minus the model sex, granted). You are going to die happy. Now think of what events must transpire or decisions you must make to live the life you want. Now till death.
Now, I want you to write your life story. Include the main events and decisions that have affected your life till now and the main events and decisions that will affect your life if you are to die happy. Birth to death, this is your life.

Humor makes no difference in this contest. If it's there, fine. If it's not, fine. This contest is all about detail. I'm not looking for the funniest series, I'm looking for the most detailed. The winner of this contest will be the person I come to learn the most about.

One series will be accepted from each person. I'll judge this contest late Friday night. Good luck! Have fun!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Rules Compliance is Overrated by DexX 9-02-02

So, DexX, for this contest I want you to explain how you came to be living happily on your own tropical island paradise. Well, it was the two hundred million dollar lottery win that made all the difference... Lottery win? I specifically outlawed that in the rules! Oh no, I didn't win the lottery... Oh, okay. Go on then. ...it was the gorgeous supermodel who won the lottery, and gave all the money to me...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

This Is My Life So Far.... Basically by the_rew 9-02-02

Norwich, England 1981 AD... Rew is born 2001 AD Rew talks with Matthew Hey, have you heard of that Stripcreator.com? Present day - In a darkened room, Rew continues to hone his Photoshop skills... *click* *click* *click*

Of course, I had to use Gabe from PA to represent me, coz certain people who I promised I wouldn't go on about, haven't made my forum character yet....sorry, just ignore me...

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There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

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Skeeter Valentine = hot.

You don't want my life story. It's boring.

cc 141: The Life of Kajun by KajunFirefly 9-02-02

The Mid-80's Hey Dad? Why does Mum not live with us? Your mother was a bitch, I left her when you were a baby and took you with me, now get back in your hole and shut the fuck up! Hey Mum, it took me a while to track you down, it's your son Kajun, can I come and live with you? Dad's a bastard! Sorry son, but he gained custody of you, he's your legal gaurdian. Later... So apparently if anything were to happen to you, Mum would have to look after me. aarrrggghhh!

cc 141: The Life of Kajun by KajunFirefly 9-02-02

The 90's Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

cc 141: The Life of Kajun by KajunFirefly 9-02-02

The Future? It's great honey, I got the job with Industrial Light and Magic and I get to work from my house in Amsterdam... wow! Miller offered me free beer for life if I do the special effects for their new adverts and Marijuana has been legalised throughout the world... amazing! and I was thinking, since I'll be earning more now, that maybe you and I could get married? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

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Dad was flammable

CC 141 - Life Experience by BigEvilDan 9-02-02

Past Present Future

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

I don't have a life, how could I tell it's story?

cc 141: my past, present and future. by KazaTan 9-02-02

past... I won the lottery!!! present... always ways around these comic competition rules aha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa. future... isnt it for everybody?

i guess i havent won then. sux2bme.

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UK PEOPLE. GET ON IRC, DAMNIT. (7pm -> 12pm GMT)

I would ask if this was rules compliant , but i dont give a fuck.

This was venting. And therapy. And i fucking loved it.

CC 141 - Miguel Artur Hernandez's Perm by Kurashima 9-02-02

So Perm , youre actually going to Enter Obijo's contest? How do you plan on getting him to like your stuff? Well , Obijo thinks along very Crabby-like lines of thought , so i figured i could appeal to his crazy nature. How so? Well , im going to do my lifestory , but through the form of a film , with a famous actor portraying me How does this fit in? I figure ill score a few extra points if i can persuade Hernandez to come out of retirement and play me.

CC 141 - Miguel Artur Hernandez's Perm - Pt2 by Kurashima 9-02-02

So , Hernandez. Obijo has cast you aside now, and moved onto pastures new. But i want you in my Strips. But Mister Perm , Obijo treated me well. I mean , he fought wars for me. He sweated blood over my strips. Youre a major star , and i think you should be treated like one. I must refuse your generous offer. There must be someone better suited to playing the Perm. I contemplated using Dil from the submitted characters. Oh alright , i take pity on your inability to cast actors , and i will do the job.

CC 141 - Miguel Artur Hernandez's Perm - Pt3 by Kurashima 9-02-02

The Perm was a bright kid. But suffered terrible bullying at School Take that. We hate Smart Kids. Stop making us look bad. Ow. Stop that Mr Taylor , or i will tell my teachers who dont care and wont stop you as theyre all going PC. The Perm was Bullied at High School Take that Mr Perm. You have not grown up to be a braindead Rugby player like me and i will now beat you up because i can. OW!. Stop that Mr Taylor, or i will tell a set of teachers who dont even know me and who laugh mockingly at my attempts to stop you. The Perm was Never Bullied at Work. How many crates do you want today Mr Perm? Im bored today Mr Taylor. I have decided it would be funny to give you a P45 and stop sponsoring your Rugby Team.

CC 141 - Miguel Artur Hernandez's Perm - Pt4 by Kurashima 9-02-02

The Perm Proposed Marriage at 21 Im Michelle. I can suck your dick like a vacuum. Marry Me Things Looked Good for a While I have finished my Degree course in Nursing and i foresee a bright future for us. I have completed a series of courses and have a really good job lined up. Its a pity your mother is an Alcoholic. But never quite worked out. Ive been fired from stealing money from my employer , im having a nervous breakdown , and im fucking some guy named John who says hes a spy. Fuck off Bitch. Go back to your in bred family and homosexual canine. I never loved you anyway.

CC 141 - Miguel Artur Hernandez's Perm - Pt5 by Kurashima 9-02-02

The Perm Suffered 4 years of depression. Kill yourself Perm. She never loved you. Youre a worthless piece of shit. FUCKING DO IT! *sob* Im a nice guy. This shouldnt happen to nice people. The Perm got over it. Hi , im Jo. Youre cute. Lets date and fuck like bunnies. Rock On! I earn more in a week now than i did in a month back in Scotland. I Love a Happy Ending. DOH! HAHA! Your dogs Dead , your Brothers Special Ed , John wasnt a spy and left you , and your Family are all out of work. FUCK YOU BITCH IM HAPPY AND RICH!

[Click to view comic: 'CC 141 - Miguel Artur Hernandez's Perm - Pt6']

Hernandez > *

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w00t

CC141 - Getting To Know Me by Smarmulus 9-02-02

Obijo, you want to know me? YOU WANT TO KNOW ME!!! How do you want to know me? Do you want to know me like a clown? Fine. Do I win?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

So, ObiJo, you want to know about my childhood? This picture tells the whole story.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

And this picture tells you everything you need to know about my adult life.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

here. this oughtta give you all you need to know to steal my identity. good thing all my credit cards are already maxed-out.

POWER NEWBIE 1: THE BEGINNING by il_schmucko 9-03-02

December 12, 1978: In a world where nothing was funny... In a time when there was no such thing as "bandwidth"... One man was born who would use his computer to teach us to laugh again. Run for your lives! It's a Schmucko! I, a nurse, am also running!

POWER NEWBIE 1: THE MIDDLE (Contest 141b) by il_schmucko 9-03-02

Thrill as his mom catches him spankin' it... Hab--what are you doing in here? Chill as he goes to a high school for nerdy misfits... Everyone's just like me here. Why am I suicidal? Do something else that rhymes as he spends a year attending "grad school" in "Las Vegas"... Those sarcastic quotation marks seem unnecessary.

POWER NEWBIE 1: THE END? (Contest 141c) by il_schmucko 9-03-02

And you'll stand up and cheer when he's named CC champ for eternity... Huzzah! Thank you! Thank you! ...and dies a thoroughly happy man. Fuck no, I'm not happy. I still haven't made Kaufman's favorites list! Coming this fall--it's POWER NEWBIE. From the producers of "Flying Pigs" and "Cubs Win the Pennant"

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

CC141 Back in school by JaZm0n 9-03-02

Maggie Thatcher naked *Bring* *Bring* Yeah schools Finished Roseanne Barr naked! Aren't u going home today? remembah at school getting a stiffy & not being able to leave ur chair I would go home from school if I get rid of this stiffy or every1 leaves the damn class FFS!

I was always self-rightous and macho.

My life has been pathetic. Not worth writing strips about.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

It's a sad, lonely life. by rrruss 9-03-02

My life in a nutshell Well, it would have been, but some bastard squirrel ate the nutshell in which my life resided.

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rrrrrrrrrrrrrubbish?

CC 141: Life of dcom by dcomposed 9-03-02

1985 - dcomposed conceived Honey, I'm pregnant! I didn't say you were the father.

CC 141: Life of dcom {2} by dcomposed 9-03-02

1995 - dcomposed - aged ten Hey Maw! Dad's back! So, dad... can I have some money? I like yer shorts! why don't you take 'em off!

CC 141: Life of dcom {3} by dcomposed 9-03-02

2000 - dcomposed - aged thirteen Hey, son. I'm going to Canada to be with my women. Order yourself a pizza for dinner. And stay away from my beer!

CC 141: Life of dcom {4} by dcomposed 9-03-02

2002 - dcomposed - aged fifteen Hi. fuck you. Hi. Get away from me psycho! Hi. Hi, hows it goi.. hey, what're you're hands doing down there?

CC 141: Life of dcom {5} by dcomposed 9-03-02

2002- dcomposed still fifteen Burn everything! can do. I don't need perants to guide me, my hallucinations are doing a great job of raising me.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 141: Life of dcom {6}'][Click to view comic: 'CC 141: Life of dcom {7}'][Click to view comic: 'CC 141: Life of dcom {8}'][ Posted comic does not exist ]

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Batman created by Bob Kane

I'm short of inspiration about my... life. I'll just post something about an obscure song then.

Some of this may even be true ...

Sliding Doors by kaufman 9-03-02

My parents faced a choice. Keep me in the public school system with my age group, and have me bored to tears by too easy a curriculum ... 3+2 is? 01000110 01101001 01110110 01100101. Got anything harder? ... or send me to an out-of-town private school with older kids, where I'd be challenged intellectually -- if I could survive the experience This is enlightening! I'd have never known "pussy" doesn't just mean cat. Three decades later, take a look at me and figure out which happened. Ah, sweet reality and refuge for the misfits of society.

You Can't Handle the Truth! by kaufman 9-03-02

I got my first cat when I was 9. Yo, DexX, update my character. I need a cat. No can do, mate. I'm not even born yet. Shortly after I went away to camp, he (the cat, not DexX, who was probably a safely gurgling infant at that point) died, but my family didn't tell me. And how are the cats? Hold on a second, I think I hear your sister. Thus traumatized, I never left home again. Wait, that's not true. I went postal and shot up the whole neighborhood. What are you in for? No can speak: Cat-a-tonic.

Joker's Wild by kaufman 9-03-02

Having gotten a talent for punnery from my grandfather, and a taste for parody from MAD Magazine, by junior high, I was cranking out laughs. o/` Bye bye good eaconomc times, why does Ford act so bored, I haven't no dimes ... In high school, I wowed them with my jokes, even when the work wasn't the best. Fair book report, but I'll never ever forget "shortly after losing her innocence, Tess' sorrow was apparent." Leading, of course, to a young-adulthood of prominent presence on a series of online humor sites. Caption this Marmaduke cartoon. "Sweet mother of Cthuhlu, that dog is so big, it has 32 moons!"

Collosal Freak by kaufman 9-03-02

My success with the "fairer" sex was legendary. AGAIN I've been stood up by a girl who hadn't met, seen, or gotten to know me. What's that say about me? Talk about negative batting averages; for a while, I had MORE rejections than "attempts". Don't even think of it. Huh? I wasn't! Even though I'm now living happily ever after, deep scars remain. All this and more, is it any wonder my humor has a dark streak?

Bringing us up to by kaufman 9-03-02

I first got on a computer in 10th grade, and took to it like a fish to water. Kaufman wrote a lottery program for our class, so every Friday, bring in a dollar along with your homework. My interest and aptitude in such things and my lack of other direction kept me in school for years Congratulations, your a Doctor! But a lack of resolution careerwise has left me at an uncomfortable crossroads.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 141: Soothnaysayer'][Click to view comic: 'But if you're going to make me write a future ...']