Investigating the Damage by KungChiFu 5-29-03

Baghdad, Iraq... present day... Are you SURE we're in the right place? Says right here, weapons of mass destruction and command bunker, corner of Al Hmagajih Hlarg St. and Main... There's nothing here but rubble and gunk. There's not even anything good left to steal. Look, it has to be some around here someplace. There's not even any body parts... ooo, wait! A finger! I mean, look at this mess! You think we'd do all this unless there was a command bunker, and weapons of mass destruction?

We're liberators, they want us here. by KungChiFu 5-30-03

Baghdad, Iraq... just another day... What are we doing here, again? Keeping the peace, dude. Keeping the peace. It doesn't seem very peaceful. Well, it's certainly untidy. But that's war for you. Sgt. Joe looks peaceful, since that suicide bomber stopped by... It's for the greater good. Remember, we're liberators! They want us here!

One side of the story by KungChiFu 6-02-03

Last Friday, in Baghdad... So I was all like "GRRR!" and he was all like "no no no"... Then I was all like "Yes, yes" and I went all like "chunk chunk chunk" and he was all "AAAAAA!"... You SO missed it dude. You liberated the hell out of him, that's for sure.

WMDs... weapons of missing distinction... by KungChiFu 6-03-03

Another day in Baghdad... Still haven't found them WMDs, dude. Look, can you just stop that, and come help me fix up the powerplant we bombed flat two months ago? Somebody's gonna get in trouble if we don't find them WMDs, dude. Well... don't worry about it. Maybe we blew them all up when we were shocking and awe-ing. All right, fine. Where's this power plant? Some of it is under my left shoe...

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Good stuff.

Hooray! More newbie comics that don't suck!

Congrats and welcome to Stripcreator. Keep it up.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Wow, good stuff. I am impressed with your combination of humor and current events without resorting to dick and fart jokes.

Not that there's anythign wrong with dick and fart jokes. heh.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Thankee kindly.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Bush league nation building by KungChiFu 6-05-03

Baghdad... Y'all ready for elections yet?

Meanwhile, back in Afghanistan... by KungChiFu 6-05-03

Remember back when we were on CNN every night, blowing up all the Taliban guys? Yeah, dude. Now it's all about Iraq, and nobody cares about peacekeeping in Afghanistan... Those were the days dude, being on CNN. Yeah. Good times.

Couple of new ones. I am getting tired of doing ones about people dying, though, which seems to be all there is in the news lately out of Iraq and Afghanistan.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

The News by KungChiFu 6-18-03

Baghdad... Didja read where we captured the "Ace of Diamonds", some General Abid Hamid Mahmud al-Tikriti guy? #4 on the list, dude. Did you hear another US soldier was killed in a drive-by shooting? Says here he was a real bad guy. His arrest is a big deal. That brings the total to 50 US soldiers killed since Pres. Bush announced an end to major hostilities on May 1st. Betcha he knows where them WMDs are, dude. Maybe we should make a deck of cards with WMD pictures on them.

WMDs: The Search Continues by KungChiFu 6-18-03

Baghdad... the search continues... Dude, I'm about sick of looking for them WMDs. Doesn't matter if we find them. The conflict was about more than just WMDs. Yeah? Yeah. Saddam Hussein was bad enough to justify the war just to kick him out of power. But we can't find him either! You know what you need? A tax cut.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Another one by KungChiFu 6-27-03

Look, another one. That's another US soldier killed in irregular combat. And six UK troops killed the other day. And there's two US soldiers missing. True. Keeps us in the news, though.

Closing in on WMDs (or auto parts) by KungChiFu 6-27-03

Dude! We found them WMDs! We did? Well, I mean, we found some centerfuge parts that could be used for making nuclear bombs. Come on dude. Work with me here. It could also be a high-end yo-yo, or a clutch plate off a Porche 914.

I know, I know. Some are better than others. Patience... maybe I'll have a funny idea again someday. As we all know, there's no reason not to post, just because you don't have a funny idea.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

The War Thus Far... a retrospective... by KungChiFu 7-08-03

Iraq... to recap: Uranium. Anthrax. VX. Plauge. Mustard gas. Nuke-u-lar weapons. Iraqi freedom. March. April. May. June. July...

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

"You liberated the hell out of him, that's for sure."

That was the best punchline I've read in ages.

Thanks Juan.

TFB: Winning the Hearts and Minds by KungChiFu 7-25-03

Back in Iraq... Didja hear we got Uday and Qusay Hussein the other day? Some people don't believe it though. So we released photos of their dead bodies. That didn't work, so we released video of their bodies. I am SO there, dude! If that doesn't work, we're going to stick their heads on poles, and tour them around the country.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

If cartoons had as much sway as large "interest" groups, Bush's head would be like that scene from "Scanners" now. All going "EEeeeeeh!" and exploding over the Oval Office, and getting into Lauren's hair, and spilling into Condoleeza's lunch and hitting Cheney in the eye and...

The comics were excellent.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

They're all excellent. Although you use the word 'dude' to much. :P

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Poop.

Thanks very much for the compliments. I use "dude" a lot because it goes with the character.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Good work, dude.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

New batch, for your evaluation.

TFB: Are you Saddam? by KungChiFu 8-12-03

Baghdad... Are you Saddam? No. Have you seen Saddam? No. Poop. Keep trying, dude.

TFB: Another day, another GI. by KungChiFu 8-13-03

Baghdad, Tikrit, etc. ... How many today? Just 1. What does that bring the total to? 268. And counting. I'm gonna need more flowers. Yep.

TFB: Operation Ivory Lightning by KungChiFu 8-13-03

Did you know we're engaged in something called "Operation Ivory Lightning"? No, why? Well, apparently that's the name of all these raids and stuff we're doing, trying to catch Saddam. So? Well, the acronym for the operation is "OIL". The war is being run by freakin' GENIUSES, dude! Talk about winning hearts and minds!!

TFB: Clarification by KungChiFu 8-14-03

Iraq... Wait. It says here it's "Operation Ivy Lightning". Not "Operation Ivory Lightning". Still a stupid name, though. Yeah.

TFB: More news by KungChiFu 8-14-03

Baghdad... Says here that in a Baghdad suburb, a US helicopter knocked down a large religious banner while attempting to photograph it. A riot broke out, an four Iraquis were injured when soldiers started shooting. One US soldier injured by debris. I want to go home, dude.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Continuing greatness.

Excellent.

Dumb wars + Dumb presidents = Comic Gold

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC whatever number this is: Perspective/Relativity by KungChiFu 9-04-03

Baghdad... You call THIS a war? Travel back in time with me to 8:16 on the morning of August 6, 1945, in Hiroshima, Japan. Now THIS... THIS is a war!

Cross-post... but I really liked this one.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

TFB: Dancing in the Streets by KungChiFu 9-19-03

Somewhere in Iraq... What's that noise, dude? Iraquis dancing in the street. Why are they dancing in the street? Three more American GIs were killed in an ambush. Ok, let's go over this one more time. What are we doing here, again? Dying entertainingly, evidently.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

TFB: The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner by KungChiFu 10-21-03

KUSA news... early edition... 101 American deaths later, the war in Iraq continues after the President's declaration that major hostilities were over. Here with a commentary is Randall Jarrell. "From my mother's sleep I fell into the State, And I hunched in its belly till my wet fur froze. Six miles from earth, loosed from its dream of life, I woke to black flak and the nightmare fighters." "When I died they washed me out of the turret with a hose." And after the break: Ben and J.Lo- what's up with that?

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

TFB: It's not as bad as you think by KungChiFu 10-29-03

Mr. President, how do you respond to continuing criticism that our efforts in Iraq are not effective? Iraq is a dangerous place. But things are getting better. Schools are opening. Hospitals are opening. It's not as bad as some people think. Dude, get over here and help me check for survivors. The president says things are getting better here, and it's not as bad as some people think.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

TFB: Relief is on the way by KungChiFu 11-06-03

Iraq... Dude, they're sending relief troops! 128,000 fresh troops are headed here! You know, I've been thinking... We already have over 140,000 of us here, right? And 245 soldiers killed since the "end of the war", right? See, that's why I don't drive around here, dude. Thats odds of about 1 in 2500 to get wasted "winning the peace". Or about 3 times more likely than dying in a car wreck.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

TFB: Teh Suck by KungChiFu 11-25-03

Iraq. It's just not funny anymore.

TFB: 1000 and counting by KungChiFu 7-09-04

Iraq... Dude? Whatcha doing? Hang on a sec. That looks painful. It's performance art. I'm showing how the war is going. By banging a nail into your head? Yep. And 1000 coalition deaths later, the nail is still there.

Tales from Baghdad: We Don't Do Body Counts

Baghdad... You mean parts, or just whole corpses? Jeez. How many civilians do you think that is, so far? I mean, including the car bombs and stuff, not just the stuff we did.

by KungChiFu, 5-04-05

TFB: The Plan by KungChiFu 5-14-05

Ok, look. Tell me you're sure there's a plan to end this crap. Please. Ok, I'm sure there is a plan to end this crap. So 500 killed since the Iraqi elections, including three government ministers, plus 10 or so US Marines, and over 300 civilians killed this month alone, and we're still here. Right? Right. Is that all part of the plan, then? Fuck, man, I GUESS so... all I know is, there is a plan.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Surely it's only fair, after doing several comics mocking the coalition for being unable to find Saddam, that you should've done one about them eventually catching him.