Your Personal Day of Death is...
Wednesday, August 15, 2063
Seconds left to live...

1,898,646,560

Here are three options to consider:
Delay Your Date of Death
Freeze Your Body For Possible Future Reanimation
Pre-Plan Your Funeral Arrangements
Find yours here:
Your Death Clock.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

According to death clock, I should of died 5 years ago.

I am going to both the normal and sadistic calculations, I will die on my mom's birthday--either June 23, 2042 or June 23, 2005. This will be a lovely conversation over Father's Day dinner..."Hurry up and die mom so you won't have to bury me."

Looks like I'll only make it to 74.. Saturday, September 4, 2055

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

.... uh oh.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Even the sadistic one says I got at least 20 years.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

I think that 20 years longer than the other children on your block would like. Unless for some odd reason they like to be raped. I wonder...

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

They haven't complained about it.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Pesimistically speaking, I'm gone on October 10, 2007, so you should hang out with me while you can. Although, under normal circumstances, Oct 10, 2040 is my last day. Regardless, Oct 10 is shaping up to be a bad day no matter what.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Hmmm...is it supposed to show a negative number?

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

My body mass index is "desirable."

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What others say about boorite!

There's a "PURGATORY" button on my Death Clock.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Sunday, March 6, 2044. Mark your calendars! I plan on having a big party instead of a funeral. I'll invite random people and hobos to show up and get drunk.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Im there, Unless were going by Sadistic...

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Saturday, November 1, 2064.

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

Your Personal Day of Death is...
Sunday, March 11, 2035

Shit. I've already lived over half my life and haven't done half the stuff I want to.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

http://test.thespark.com/deathtest

That ones better.

August 17, 2037
at the age of 46 years old.

Heart Attack (18%)
Homicide (16%)
Cancer (12%)
Drowning (11%)
Horrible Accident (8%)
Alien Abduction (7%)

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

May 8, 2022
at the age of 44 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (28%)
Alcoholism (20%)
Electrolysis (9%)
Heart Attack (7%)
Horrible Accident (5%)

Electrolysis? I shouldn't have been so honest about my hairy nipples...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

October 8, 2040
at the age of 79 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (32%)
Heart Attack (10%)
Horrible Accident (7%)
Alien Abduction (6%)
Suicide (5%)
Homicide (5%)
Alcoholism (5%)
Loneliness (5%)
Auto-Fellatio (5%)

Do we get a choice?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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April 25, 2050
at the age of 72 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Heart Attack (16%)
Cancer (15%)
Electrolysis (15%)
Third Degree Burns (6%)
Suicide (6%)
Auto-Fellatio (6%)

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Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

December 30, 2046
at the age of 78 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (35%)
Electrolysis (12%)
Alien Abduction (8%)
Heart Attack (5%)

I guess my nipples are 33% more hairy than Jes's.

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

August 15, 2024
at the age of 49 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Heart Attack (34%)
Cancer (30%)
Horrible Accident (7%)

I'm leaning towards the "Horrible Accident." At least I won't hit 50. ;)

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I has a flavor!

My nipples are 25% hairier than choad's, apparently.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

quote:

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April 6, 2036
at the age of 57 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Heart Attack (33%)
Cancer (21%)
Alcoholism (7%)
Alien Abduction (6%)
Auto-Fellatio (6%)

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Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

June 12, 2060
at the age of 75 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (25%)
Alcoholism (13%)
Suicide (10%)
Horrible Accident (10%)
Loneliness (10%)
Alien Abduction (10%)
Heart Attack (6%)
Contagious Disease (5%)

I'm banking on the horrible accident. I forget to wear my helmet sometimes when I go jogging.