All comics by areallystupidguy

Profile

 

sup doctor. i'll have that ear surgery now.
get the hell out of my office you little shit.
i smell like kibbles n' bits?
you went around talking about how i feed my patients mercury! how can you lie about people like that? im getting sued now thanks to you!
so howd it go?
i dunno. first he said i didnt need surgery, then he went off on some stupid tangent about crying about cats or something. i didnt hear the rest.

 

hey, welcome to mcdonalds. what'll you have today?
i'll have a large bottle of antidepressants.
um...we dont have those. you want some fries?
alright alright sure. ill have some fries and a big bag of pot.
...and people wonder why im depressed.

 

slut girl faces jesus in heaven...
slut girl, you must end your sinning or live in eternal damnation!
what sinning? i don't sin.
you don't even have a house. you just sleep around at different guy's houses every night.
um...
...i save on rent this way?

 

slut girl, admit it. you are totally a slut. you even had a job as a hooker back on earth!
pfff...just because i was a hooker, that automatically makes me a slut?!?!
um...yeah.
crap.

 

i cant believe you're still resisting the fact that you were a slut. you haven't gone a day of your life without sex.
pffff...up until i turned 5, i hardly had any sex!
...i think im going to give up on your soul. get ready for hell.
good! at least they'll have SEX there! ...they will, right?

 

hey jason. so, you're gonna be in that new horror movie huh?
well YEAH...i am THE jason.
so...you know how it ends right? do you have the script with you?
what script? you mean they're gonna tape our fight and sell it? that sucks!
...um, this is an actual fight?
of course it is! and i've been itching to take freddy on since he invaded my turf in the 80's...stole my moviegoer dollars, he did.

 

Sup. what's going on?
oh hey. jason's shooting his new movie today. but he says that ISN'T just a movie! he says its an actual fight to the death between the 2 greatest horror stars ever!
pfff...he's probably just kidding. later.
yeah...
wow! that was intense! i almost had him, but they said they wanted a movie that was over 5 minutes long. do you have a clean shirt i can use for the next scene?

 

opening day...
In line for freddy vs. Jason?
yup.
jason's gonna totally win you know.
no way dude. freddy's gonna slice him and dice him.
and so a geek dispute breaks out.
jason had more movies!
freddy's name comes first!

 

and the movie begins!
hooray! jason!
grrrr! i arise from the grave with a vengeance! again!
and i guess im supposed to be freddy or something. grrr! arr! i kill the children!
booooo! jason gonna whoop yo ass!
FREDDY VS JASON! STARRING FREDDY AND JASON!
WE FIGHT!
WE FIGHT!

 

oh NO! freddy is over there, but a poor helpless robot child is separating us! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?
AGH! why am i here?
whoa! cool!
go jason go!
HAHA! my righteous quest continues! why did that robot bleed?

 

WTF!?! TOMMY JARVIS!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!
i killed you twice before jason! i shall do it again!
(for the uninformed, tommy jarvis was a kid that killed jason twice in the friday the 13th movies, setting him up for a bunch of psychological problems)
NEVER! YOU SUCK, JARVIS!
AAAAAGHH!
well, let's get back to it.
right-o!

 

well jason, we've been fighting for nearly an hour and a half. it's time we settled this.
there is only room in the horror genre for one of us.
we must end this where it all began.
huh? we began this in a graveyard. not a robot factory.
AGH! FOCUS! FOCUS!
FUCK!

 

grrrr! the movie went out of focus at the last second so we didnt see who won!
dude....
how will i ever know? i must find out! WHO WON WHO WON!
well duh. i won. im alive aren't i?
um....yeah.....
you need to stop doing drugs, man.

 

So hippie, what are you gonna do with your new psychic powers?
i'm gonna don a colorful costume and become the word's first true superhero!
no wait! am i insane? fight for mankind's benefit? i fight for MY benefit! MY personal gain! i shall call myself the harbinger of doom and bring about the apocalyptic destruction of humanity!
of course, i'm open to suggestions.

 

They are in a spaceship! yay!
welp, the world blew up and only we survived.
*sniffle* all those cute goth girls...
the world just blew up, and that's all you can say?
oh come on...like YOU won't miss 'em...

 

shit. that stupid shark is back.
telegram for mr. hippie!
yeah...come on in!
uh...i'd love to...but there's something in the way! could you move it for me?
...that's the door.
he's on to me...

 

You won't BELIEVE what i got my girlfriend for valentines day! im so glad i have a girlfriend! what did you get your girlfriend for valentines day?
oh that's right. you don't HAVE a girlfriend. that must suck not having a girlfriend on valentine's day, dude. i'd commit sucide if i didn't have a girlfriend!
i think valentine's day is my FAVORITE holiday!
...suicide is the only way...

 

imagine with your brains that he is holding a mcdonalds to-go bag thing. you know what i mean.
huzzah! i got food! hey...there's a note at the bottom... "Ronald locks me in the meat freezer because I know his secrets..."
"He hits me, and rapes me. I don't even know him, but i'm afraid he'll hurt me. Call the police...Amy.
..... damn! they forgot my fries!

 

knock knock!
who's there?
blues!
blues who?
blues clues!
...okay, even I have to admit that was pathetic...

 

Burstin' bonanzas! its the incredible hulk!
Grrr!
so how's it goin' there, hulky?
Hulk smash puny human-guy!
this conversation is really dull. are you always this boring? and why is your skin green?
green skin not bad! hulk not bad! HULK EAT ENEMY!!!

 

How's it going?
bad. I lost my job at mcdonalds again.
what was it this time? did you show up late or did you show up drunk?
neither. i accidentally deep-fried a cash register.
well, i guess it MIGHT have something to do with showing up drunk...

 

psychic willie is bothering hippie! oh dear!
see ya later. im gonna go get a burger.
dont! I sense that you will choke on it and die!
...okay. then i'll go to the arcade and play some tekken.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO! the machine will short-circuit and electricute you!
...go away.
i can't or a car will hit me.

 

i sense that you will lead a dark lifestyle in the near future.
stray from the path and you may be consumed by darkness.
i also sense a possible love life for you.
Love for humans is is fleeting, much like their own brief lives.
the oddities of love mean nothing beyond the grave.
get the hell away from me.

 

jason, we're worried about you.
the matters of the living will become unimportant soon...
you're a cool guy, but we're araid you're crazy.
true love is volatile, but most precious.
more than usual, that is.
the foolishness of your race rivals that of the vampires.

 

I get the feeling that this isn't working out.
yeah, I guess you're right.
what?! i wanted you to disagree! im leaving!
what the hell? why didn't you just say that?
20 minutes later...
jeez, what the hell are you still doing here?
I thought you would come after me...

 

say raindrop! what do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
i dunno skull! what DO you call a virgin on a waterbed?
a cherry float!
tee hee! you're such a riot!
alright, that sucked. but it's still better than most of the other stuff on stripcreator.
yeah...

 

hes got one of them speaker-phone thingys.
RING!
hello?
yeah, ricky it's me. listen i took care of her, so what about my money?
um, im afraid you've got the wrong number!
...oh, okay. sorry about that.
no problemo!

 

this is the coolest show ever! i wish more shows were like this!
this is just so freaking awesome! i can't even begin to explain it! i gotta tape this!
...dude, that's an olive garden commercial.
*sigh* i know. isn't it great?

 

go, cancerman! i choose you!
cancer cancer!
puppet puppet!
i choose you, puppeto!
this is SO stupid.
it HAD to be pokemon. why couldn't it be a anime with a lot of hot babes like love hina?

 

Duh! Dahhhh! Durrrrr!
Holy cow! It's a wild Retardedhorse! I'm gonna catch it!
Arrr! Har har!
Pirateguy! Use the Sword kill attack!
This is just...lame.
Why are we even here?

 

In the pokemon universe...
I caught me a retardedhorse! AGH! what're you doing here, Blonde_chick?
I came to join you on your pokemon quest!
...maybe you should leave. bad things happen to girls in anime. very bad things.
huh? what do you mean?
uh oh.
mmmm...hentai

 

I'm so glad you could let me join your crew! Is it ok if i take my girlfriend with me?
Arrrr! There be no women folk on this ship lad. women's bad luck on a ship.
...then who do we screw?
Arrrr! good point, me heartie!
how did you convince the captain to let me on his ship?
um...i just know how to talk to him, I guess.

 

so tell us, psychic willie, where'd you get psychic powers?
well...i was alone outside. then suddenly i was pulled up into an alien spaceship!
they did all kinds of weird tests on me, and it heightened my brain powers to 50x that of a normal human.
Dance or i'll shoot you!
help!
pfff...aliens. yeah, right. you probably just lift stuff with little ropes, huh?
what?! no!

 

Hiya, mad scientist guy! I was wondering what you were working on!
well, recently i've been working on the ultimate vegetable! the unholy fusion of eggplant and artichoke! I call my creation...
EGGICHOKES! in fact, i was just about to flip a switch to bring my creation to life. wanna watch?
sure. there's still an hour before amazing race is on.
a few minutes later!!!
oh no! my experiment has destroyed my lab and is now rampaging the countryside! mabye eggplant and artichoke were never meant to be!
whatever. this is just...stupid.

 

'Dear evil guy! I just got my first computer today and I was wondering if you could recommend any cool websites!'
that's a very good question! unfortunately, my answer is no.
however, i can recommend some good search topics! "star trek fansite" "ham fetish" "xbox sucks" "dukes of hazzard memorabilia"
"free top paysites" "metallica mp3s" "nude celebrites" "world war 2 conspiracy"!
with all this great search stuff, we can guarantee you'll be satisfied!
until next time, go away and leave us alone!

 

at the complaint booth!
give me your complaints and i'll see what I can do!
get rid of that damn mitten on the arby's commercials! what was wrong with the star thing they used to have?
forget these damn laws against "murder"! dammit, if i wanna kill someone I should be able to!
and people wonder why most of these things never happen....
make a weird al yankovic board game!

 

NOOOO! OH SWEET JESUS NO!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHYYYY!! WHY MEEEEE?!?!
what is it? fail suicide again?
worse! school's starting tomorrow! i'm still recovering from last year! everyone's gonna beat me up again!
don't worry about it man. i'm sure you'll be just fi-
ahh...that's better. nothing like self-mutilation to calm your nerves.
personally, i'm glad i dropped out after my 6th year of ninth grade...

 

Hey sam.
hey. parent teacher night is tonight, and i want you to go as my dad since you've been like a father to me.
uh...what about your REAL dad?
he's actually more of a mother to me. especially when he dresses up like a woman to go to the supermarket.
that's just...wrong.
and you don't even WANNA know what my mom is to me...

 

First day o' school!
oh well, at least i have a new math teacher this year. lets see...room G69...
hi class im your new math teacher.
If you are male, begin working on todays lesson. if you are female, remove your pants and meet me at the back of the room.
this is SO wrong...

 

hey! what the hell are you doing here? i bet you're here to steal my souls of the good and use them for evil, huh?! SECURITY!
what? no! i was just wondering if you had any band-aids. i cut my finger on a can of tomato sauce.
oh. sure, they're right over there. top drawer on the right.
ok. thanks man.
so, did you catch will & grace last night?
no i missed it! what happened?

 

it was a casual day. blue guy was walking along, and-HOLY CRAP IT'S AN ALIEN!
AGH! AN ALIEN! HE'S GONNA SHOOT ME!
no im not. i come in peace and wish to know more about humans.
huh?
please human, teach me about your primitive earth society.
later...
that's a strip club, that's a hooker...that's the skinemax! ooh, there's the adult bookstore!
fascinating...

 

so where's the alien?
he's over at the bumblebee guy's house. he's teaching the alien about tv.
so, who is his J.Lo, and why does everyone always talk about her ass?
she's a star of some kind. everyone always talks about her ass because it's FRICKIN HUGE!
i'll say! her ass is FRICKIN HUGE!
good. you learn quickly. it may be time to move on to something harder, like robin william's hairy chest or keanu reeves' acting.

 

gah! where am i?
welcome to hell, slut girl. i'm frank. you will spend a life of eternal damnation here.
um, just one question. is there sex here?
yes, but it all involves ham and vomiting.
hell sounds like a horrible place, yes?
shit.
oh! that too!

 

DRUGS ARE FOR ALL THE COOL KIDS!
Hi kids! I'm Cancerman! Do the other kids beat you up at school?
*sigh* yeah...
YOU'RE A WUSSY IF YOU DON'T SMOKE!
out of weed?
how did you know?
SMOKE, KIDS! BECAUSE IT'S COOL!
haven't had sex in a while? good! because nothing relieves that stress like a good cigarette!
smoke cigarettes today! i'd be lost without them!

 

Howdy kids! Cancerman here! Take advice from these guys and start smoking today!
it wasn't as much fun murdering people without drugs on my side! now whenever i go on a killing rampage, i always make sure ive got a pack of cigs in one hand!
i don't know WHAT i'd do without drugs!
probably go to hell, like ME! i didn't do drugs my whole life, and look where it got me!
threatening to destroy america is fun and all, but i ALWAYS make sure i have enough time to light up at least 5 times a day!
so there you have it! roughly 5 out of 5 addicts agree: drugs are the only choice for fun in todays world! ask for them by name! if you're too young to spell it, steal some from mommy!

 

haha! after years of construction, my ULTIMATE NUKE is complete! it can detroy everything within a 15-mile radius of it's impact! it is a true marvel of iraqi engineering!
now i'll blow it up, killing both myself and bush!
THAT WAS IT?! DAMN YOU BUSH!
hi, i'm george bush! you might know me from TV! say, who's up for a game of jenga?

 

hi, i'm jesus. end your evil ways, or you will live life in eternal damnation.
uh...im kinda watching tv now...can this wait?
hippie, stop smoking crack and protesting war or you will go to hell.
go away, jesus. i told you yesterday i don't want any!
i'm sure i had some point in mind when i started this.
don't you want to go to heaven? stop sinning you fool.
hey. go away.

 

some dude on the street makes fun of jason!
hey dork! you can take the mask off, halloween's over! freak! hahaha! FAG!
WHAT WOULD JASON DO?
what you want, FAG!?
um, hi.
i take it someone made fun of you again.

 

daddy, will you tell me the story of the really stupid guy again?
of course i will, my very weird looking son.
There once was a really stupid guy named...areallystupidguy. areallystupidguy made comics on stripcreator.com for the world to enjoy.
im gonna make some comics!
LOADING...
areallystupidguy created a bunch of wonderful characters in his comics, and his characters had many mysterious and grand adventures. but none so mysterious and grand as THIS tale...
what's he talking about?
i dunno. he lost me on the word 'made'.

 

Cancerman, i'm afraid you have a pending lawsuit from some angry parents.
More dumb freaks angry that i'm telling children to smoke, and if they can't afford it then steal some?
no, the opposite actually. you promised in your commercial "the high of a lifetime". they're pressing charges for false advertising since you can't get high from tobacco.
um, shouldn't they be more worried about the all subliminal messaging and whatnot?
nope. from what i hear, there were a lot of unhappy children on christmas morning who were expecting some acid or coke...
this is a sick, sick world we live in.

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