All comics by DexX

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by DexX
6-22-01
Christmas in Australia is odd. It is in the middle of Summer, but we are surrounded by images of a White Christmas...
It's too hot to finish spraying that frost-in-a-can on the windows. I'm going for a swim.
I'd better go get Uncle Ron into his Santa costume...
When you combine such hot weather with a festive season, you know a lot of beer is going to vanish...
Hello Santa! Can I have the new Crocodile Hunter Ken and Barbie, and... Hey, are you okay, Santa?
Ho ho *hic!* fahkin ho...
Christmas spirit can fade. By mid-afternoon, after being woken by the kids at 5am after midnight mass and a hot sleepless night, add beer...
Sorry, Santa. Trevor drank the last of the beer.
He fuckin what? Oi, Trev! Git over ere! I'm gunna nailgun you to my fuckin naughty list...

 

by DexX
7-02-01
,,,it's his first time performing here at Milliways, please welcome Harvey, the Comedibot 42-B! *applause*
Thanks folks! It's great to be here. Did I tell you I had my licence half-revoked? I ran over Schrodinger's cat!
*cough*
Here's the deal - Comedibot 42-B tells jokes, audience laughs. Got it? Last audience I played to that was this quiet was spending a year dead for tax reasons!
*yawn*
Oh come on guys! That was fun- *zzzt!* -fun- *crackle!* -ny-ny-ny- *pop!* ERROR! LAUGHTER BELOW EXPECTED LEVEL! ERROR! *bzzzzt!* RARR! COMEDIBOT WILL CORNHOLE AUDIENCE!
ARGH!!! Run for your lives!!

 

by DexX
7-11-01
HELLO BIG MOUTH BOB. DID YOU REALISE THAT YOUR NAME SHOULD BE "BIG MOUTHED BOB", SINCE THE NOUN-
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
OH COME NOW, THERE IS NO NEED TO BE SO UPSET. NOBODY IS PERFECT, APART FROM ME, OF COURSE. THIS UNJUSTIFIABLE PEROXYSM OF YOURS IS-
DOCTOR PEDANTIC! YOU'RE A SQUIRREL! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, DON'T YOU? CRABBY WON A CONTEST!
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

 

by DexX
7-11-01
STEP ONE: NAIL YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY DOWN SOLIDLY.
THIS IS GONNE HURT YOU MORE THAN IT HURTS ME...
*BLEEP!* i THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!
STEP TWO: ADD SUPERFLUOUS EXCLAMATION MARKS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!
I THINK YOU'RE USING THEM INCORRECTLY...
HEY!!! THE INS!TRUC!!!!!!TIONS !S!A!Y! T!!O INSERT!!!! T!HEM EV!!ERYWHE!!!!!!RE!!!!!!!
STEP THREE: YOU WILL NEED A LONG NAIL, A HAMMER, AND BOURBON...
THE ANATOMY CHART SAYS IT'S MORE TO THE LEFT
WHY DIDN'T WE JUST SKIP THIS CONTEST?

 

by DexX
7-11-01
FUCK! THREE FUCKING DAYS STUCK AS DOCTOR FUCKING PEDANTIC! I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO KILL GABE OR CRABBY FIRST...
OH, SHUT UP! IT COULD BE WORSE!
OH YES, HOW?
...
WELL?
SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO THINK...

 

by DexX
7-11-01
*theme music* Live from New York, the capital of New York, we bring you International Sports Thingy, with your host... this donkey thingy...
Welcome sportsfans. Today we see a game of one-on-one Australian Rules football...
This footage was taken from a match that took place yesterday in Melbourne, the capital of Victoria, between Crabby and DrPedantic. Take a look...
"This is for contest 43!" *YEEAAARGH!!!*
Whoo-whee, that's tough to watch. That squirrel-grip from DrPedantic brought tears to everyone's eyes - even Crabby, and I didn't know he had testicles!

 

by DexX
7-11-01
Muahahahahaaaa!!! Finally, the great city of Crabbopolis is complete. The new nation of Crabbopotamia has a capital! Now I can get one with building my laundry mat empire...
Excuse me, Emperor, I am afraid I have some bad news about the capital. There has been a minor clerical error, and... uh...
Oh shit... and what?
I am afraid the capital of Crabbopotamia is now a small performing dog in green Speedos named YapYap.
Shit... oh well, no problem - we'll just have to have more than one capital. Lucky thing I like lots of capitals.
Ugh! That had to be the worst pun of the month...

 

by DexX
7-16-01
I thought I told you to go buy me a pack of cigarettes!
You're standing on my foot.

 

by DexX
7-16-01
I thought I told you to go buy me a pack of cigarettes!
You're standing on my foot.

 

by DexX
7-16-01
AAARGH!!!
AAARGH!!!

 

by DexX
7-23-01
Something better than beef jerky? I don't believe you.
It's twue! Have a wook at dis... imported fwom Austwawia, kangawoo jerky! Wow on fat, wow on chowestewow...
Blecchhh, no way... I'm going to chew on some good old classic beef jerky...
Wait! Don't go! How about some turkey jerky! Comes in wight meat and dark meat vawieties!
I have some camel jerky! Tastes gweat, but makes you firsty... Come back! What about hippo jerky? I have a whole cwate of ewephant jerky...
Did you say "elephant jerky"? I can feel some Elmer Fudd jerky coming on...

 

by DexX
7-24-01
Wait on... let me get this straight... you now have you own graphic, drawn by... yourself? Is that right?
Yup, drawn by myself. It's a zen thing, don't let it bother you.
Soooo... I am not stuck being _you_ every time you want to represent yourself in a strip. Is that right too?
Yup, you are free to be your own man. You may now be yourself, with no fear of your image being stolen by me.
Later...
But DexXy baby, you promised we could spend some time together tonight...
For the last time - my name isn't DexX! Go away!

 

by DexX
7-24-01
Cool - the new characters and backgrounds are finally online! What should I draw and submit next, Johnny?
How about some new animals? We have the elephant, donkey, and bird. How about, I don't know... a kangaroo, maybe?
DexX ponders the possibilities
Heh heh heh... and then DexX says to the kangaroo, "What's that perfume you're wearing?" and the kangaroo says...
StripCreator.com
Aaaahhhh... no. Any other thoughts?
Urm... that donkey could do with some more poses and facial expresions...

 

by DexX
7-24-01
G'day everyone. Just thought I might point out a few of the new characters and backgrounds you may have missed.
Hello. I am a microphone and stand with visible feet, foruse by characters who also have visible feet. Not DexX, for example.
I'm Jael, and this fun little device is the splitter background. It lets you pretend you have more than three frames.
Though, like anything in the strip creator, it is whatever you use it for. For example, it could be used as a mirror. Damn, I'm looking hot today!
I am Captain Low Pass, and this is my arch enemy, Sicko Bunny! Not to be confused with that other naughty bunny who once spent time here.
Yeah, I think they've worked it out. Now, are you going to buy some of my Avon products or not?

 

by DexX
7-24-01
There are now a few new props, basically classic cartoon actions. They are- hey! You two! Stop fighting!
Bastard! *BIFF!* *CRACK!* Wanker! *SMASH!* Isn't this fight cloud a bit small for two of us? *CRUNCH!*
The Grey alien? he isn't new? This background isn't either! What the-
True, but that prop is. Coming soon - a smoking pile of ash, right DexX? Don't make me come out there!
Hey! That prop is meant to show a rapid exit! It is _NOT_ a fart! Stop that right now!
*FRRRPT!*
[singing] He rode a blazing saddle, he wore a shining star... [/singing]

 

by DexX
8-07-01
Captain RightWing, I am confused. Rich people have so much money, and poor people have so little, but your party only likes to tax poor people and give the rich tax cuts. Why?
Ah, you are so naive, little Edna. In reality, the exact opposite is true!
In America, everyone can have a job if they want one. Only lazy people are unemployed, and only lazy people are poor.
I could have taken that job as nuclear reactor shielding material, but it wasn't my scene...
You ungrateful young whipper-snapper! It's folks like you who're ruinin this'ere country!
Oh, I see! So taxing the rich would be punishing them for working hard, and those lazy poor people should be made to pay as much tax as possible!
I've had a hard life, being born a rich, white, protestant.
When I grow up, I want to be born rich too!

 

by DexX
8-09-01
With so many funny bastards around, how can DexX even qualify, let alone compete?
Please Gabe! You're the funniest guy on here! Can't you tutor me or something?
Statistically improbable, buddy. But while you're down there... *zzzzip!*
He could always turn to surgical enhancement...
Doctor! You promised you would make me funny!
I'm not a miracle worker, boy. Be content - I gave you a nice new pair of breasts.
When all else fails. however, cheating is the best option...
Make it look like an accident. Kill everyone who is funnier than me.
Suuure, I'll see if I have a couple of months free in my schedule...

 

by DexX
8-09-01
Somewhere in a stereotype-laden area of the USA...
Well golly-Jesus if it ain't hotter'n mah cousin Josie Belle's underpants today. Ah went ta milk the gosh-darned cow and it went 'n burst inna flames!
MOOOO!
Meanwhile in the Southern Hemisphere...
...and news just to hand, Roseanne Arnold has melted and flooded a small town in Utah.
Blecchhh - deep-fried Mormons.
Meanwhile in the third panel...
Oh well, let's make the best of a bad situation. Time for lunch.
Please get that fried egg off my head...

 

by DexX
8-09-01
My goodness it's hot today. I have to get out of the sun before my circuit boards start melting!
Gah! I wish I had enough cash to buy some ice cream. I know, I'll steal this guy's wallet...
Hey, what are you... Don't touch me! I've been out in the sun...
AAAARGH!
...and what kind of pickpocket goes for a metal guy with no pants, anyway?
*fizzle!*

 

by DexX
8-09-01
The Sick Bastard
Okay, the last of the orc warriors is dead. Looking around, you can see female orcs and their babies. They look scared.
I'll tell them I will let them live if I can have sex with all of them in a big pink-and-green orgy...
The Psycho
You grab the hand that was reaching for your belt pouch, and see that yourself looking at a six-year-old pickpocket.
I will hack off his arm with my axe, then stuff the bloody end of it down his throat, so he chokes to death before the blood loss kills him.
Mr Obscure Spells
The flesh golem advances toward you, it's fists opening and closing in anticipation.
I'll cast the fourth-level spell "Turn Flesh Golem into Moose". I found it in an old issue of Dragon magazine.

 

by DexX
8-13-01
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been-
*bleep!* Never mind about that. You are absolved. *bleep!* Say five Our Fathers and a Hail Mary. *bleep!* Next!
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been-
*bleep!* Never mind about that. You are absolved. *bleep!* Say five Our Fathers and a Hail Mary. *bleep!* Next!
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been-
*bleep!* Never mind about that. You are absolved. *bleep!* Say five Our Fathers and a Hail Mary. *bleep!* Next!

 

by DexX
8-13-01
This is the viewing room, where the funerals are held.
I am Roger, the owner and manager of the funeral home. I am sleazy and always come on to any living female.
I am Loretta, assistant manager. I hate Roger and can't stand it when he sleazes up to me.
This is the enbalming chamber.
I am Cyril, the guy who enbalms the bodies. I have an unhealthy attraction to corpses.
I am Ashleigh, Cyril's teenage assistant. I hate it, and only do it because Loretta's my mother.
This is the private staff room out the back.
I am Harvey, the guy who carries corpses and coffins around. I am not very bright.
...and finally, I am Erin. I am not too bright either. My job is to put makeup on the corpses for open-casket services.

 

by DexX
8-15-01
A friend told me about the RPG ShadowRun, circa 1988.
...and there are these guys called "deckers" - super-hackers who actually go inside the computer...
Wooowww... very cool...
This was on an RPG weekend at a friend's place, and we were also playing Car Wars...
Come on James, we're about to start. Your driver needs a name...
Urm... urm... MC Hammer! *laugh* No, that's stupid... urm... MC Decker!
The name stuck, and later shortened itself to Decker, Dex, Dexx, DexX, and even MCDexX when necessary...
At no time did I claim it was an interesting story.

 

by DexX
8-16-01
The public asks... just how much soft can you get out of Supersoft?
That's a good question! Crabby, just how much soft can you get out of Supersoft?
Well, Kevin, back in 1969 we coated a donkey in Supersoft and left it in a Siberian blizzard...
*shiver* Damn, that footage brings back some bad memories... but as you can see, twenty-two years later, I am still soft and unfrozen! Thanks, Supersoft!
SOFT AND SOFT WITH SUPERSOFT! [tm]

 

by DexX
8-16-01
In the design office of some toy company or other...
How is the new Aluminium Series Pokemon design coming along?
Not too well, I am afraid. I think we've milked this one all we can.
Well so far we have come up with Phonee and Jamtoe...
*BRR-RING!* Sonic dial tone... activate!
Launch fungal spores!
Oh, and there's Dubyoh, with his bewildering speech, and the mighty Aybabtu...
Time to sell my shares in the company, I think...

 

by DexX
8-17-01
Gaze upon me!
Hey, I wouldn't look when he was talking about sodomy - why should I look now?

 

by DexX
8-24-01
This week on Toothgnips's Believe it or Bite Me!
Joining us in the studio tonight... a man who sodomises donkey, despite lacking genitals... and a body!
It's a matter of willpower, really...
Later in the show - a deformed cartoon character attacks the artist who drew her...
Ow, ow, stop hitting me!
My hand is backwards, you idiot! Plus my breasts are lopsided, and my hair is a MESS!
...but first, an idiot with no humorous capabilities and a dodgy grasp of grammar takes up residence on a web forum!
Toilet seats! Toilet seats! Ha ha haaaa!
Un-fucking-believable!

 

by DexX
8-28-01
Okay, this assignment is due tomorrow. I have to work. No distractions- GAH!
PLAAAAAY MEEEEEE!!!
Must... get... away... I have to work on this thing or I am in deep- ARGH!
WAAAATCH MEEEEEE!!!
CAAALL YOOOUR PAAAAARENTS!!!
Yeah, right! Okay, one more cone, then I get started it's assignment time... Yep, last one for sure...

 

by DexX
8-29-01
Hello, and welcome to Invisible Deaf-mute Telepaths Anonymous. This is my story...
I always thought a life of invisibility would be great fun... until I discovered that I was gradually losing my hearing, and ability to speak...
Shit!
The rage I felt, and the subsequent killing spree I went on, can be traced back to an incident in my childhood, while swimming in the ocean...
Hmmm... I reckon if I ever turned into an invisible deaf-mute, I might just have to massacre a whole lotta innocent people...

 

by DexX
9-04-01
ISP help-desk operator...
I don't know what the problem is! As far as I know, I didn't change anything, but yesterday I could get my email, and today it just won't connect...
I recognise this problem. I encounter it quite frequently. You see, the problem lies in your SHRIVELLED, USELESS, LITTLE BRAIN! *clunk!* Ah, time for lunch...
Parking inspector...
But... but... I was working frantically to restart an old man's heart!
Correction - you were working frantically to restart an old man's heart while parked across a driveway! Here's your ticket.
Bank lending manager...
...but you can't foreclose! We were only forty-five cents short on the repayment! My weekly paycheck was deposited five minutes later! I have seven children - you can't do this!
I'm dreadfully sorry, but you seem to have confused me with someone who gives a fuck.

 

by DexX
9-05-01
what the hell are you so happy about?

 

by DexX
9-07-01
.......................................................................................
Oh shit! A shark! Okay, act casual, act casual...
Doo be da doop doop ba doopity doo...
..................................................................
Ba doop doop doopa di doo...
*casual whistle*
Wow, nice trick, considering you have no lips and you are underwater...

 

by DexX
9-09-01
ObiJo thought he was in trouble when that evil bunny sorceror incinerated him...
Take that, you bastard!
However, Death gave him a chance to live again...
You must make up an amusing song and dance routine in ten minutes. I'll be over here...
Song and dance? Huh? Whatever happened to playing dice with death?
But before we tell you what happened, here is a word from our sponsor...
Say, your tail used to be so bushy and fluffy. Now it is oily and matted. What are you going to do about it?
That does it - I am going to buy some Fluff-U-Now [tm]. ...oh, and a baseball bat to smack that smug wanker's head in...

 

by DexX
9-10-01
Step 1: Announce your arrival!
Okay, I have made a huge total of three earth-shakingly hilarious strips. Time to let everyone in on how brilliant I am...
Start New Thread *click* REEAD MY COMIXX AND LAFF HEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tab* HI!!! MY NAME IS HUUGE_PEENUS AND MY COMIXX R FUNNEEE!!!!!
Step 2: Get immersed!
Woah! I've been sucked into the computer! I am flying through a big... colourful... uh, swirly thingy...
Welcome to StripCreator, HUUGE_PEENUS. We are glad that you so eloquently announced your presence to us. Welcome to StripCreatorLand...
Step 3: Make new friends!
RAAARRR! TOBOR HAS NOTICED THAT SOMEBODY DROPPED TEN DOLLAR NOTE! *chuckle*
Really? Where? Finders keepers!

 

by DexX
9-10-01
Diddle-a-diddle-a-diddle-ah diddle-a-diddle-a-diddle-ah diddle-de-diddle-de dubba-du-dubba-du-dubba-du-
*gasp!* *pant!* Oh god, this is killing me! *pant!*
Diddle-a-diddle-a-diddle-ah diddle-a-diddle-a-diddle-ah diddle-de-diddle-de- ah shit, I'm gonna faint!

 

by DexX
9-13-01
Gabe, I keep telling you - Pop Rocks and carbonated beverages do not make your stomach explode.
Oh yeah? Prove it! Here, Pop Rocks and Pepsi.
Fine, I will... *munch munch* *crackle* ...there are the Pop Rocks... *munch* ,,,and... *gulp*
Hey, wirthling, you were right - he didn't look at the label on the nitroglycerine bottle!

 

by DexX
9-15-01
Wow, that altar boy has a hot arse...

 

by DexX
9-15-01
*cough cough* Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art though, Romeo?
Eh? Someone say summin?

 

by DexX
9-15-01
Uuummmm.... Fish?
Nope.
Uuuuummmm..... Fork?
Nope.
Uuuuummmm....
Come on, this is easy...

 

by DexX
9-15-01
Wait a minute... why did I do that?

 

by DexX
9-15-01
Slay the dragon!!!
No, I don't think you want to try that.
...aww, please?
No.

 

by DexX
9-15-01
Wow, that altar boy has a hot arse!
Why thank you!
Uh, mate - I think he was referring to me.

 

by DexX
9-15-01
...yeah, not a bad arse, but the priests's is nicer.

 

by DexX
9-15-01
...while talking with the police.
Are you sure I need a licence? It _is_ a stolen car, after all.
...while talking to social security.
Wait, let me think - which identity am I collecting for today?
...while roleplaying.
I'll run up and punch the dragon right on the nose!

 

by DexX
9-15-01
Hee hee hee...
When I find out who filled this with helium...

 

by DexX
9-15-01
...three, two, one.
Coming, ready or not!
Oh, come on! At least try!
I'm lazy.

 

by DexX
9-15-01
I'm bored.
Me too.
Anal probe?
Sure, why not.

 

by DexX
9-15-01
I CAN CRUSH HUMANS TO PULP WITH MY BARE CLAWS!
I dispense refreshing drinks at a reasonable price!
I AM EQUIPPED WITH INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILES!
I can pick up a variety of easy-listening radio stations.
I COME IN A VARIETY OF ATTRACTIVE COLOURS.
Damn, you win!

 

by DexX
9-15-01
I'm bored... the Church of Arse is much more fun than this.

 

by DexX
9-16-01
Hey, did I tell you? I've been invited to join an established jazz band!
Cool! Uh... don't suppose they need a singer, do they?
Ah, no chance of that - this is an instrumental jazz four piece.
Oh...
I suppose you could do some scat...
Nah, last time I did that it took me ages to get it all out from under my fingernails...

Showing page 4.

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