All comics by ObiJo

Profile

 

by ObiJo
4-09-01
Bullshit.

 

by ObiJo
4-10-01
You can see my underwear, can't you?
1
I'm balancing on a ball, I could fall off at any moment and cause severe bodily injury!
Refresh. (Thanks, Scyess.)
So did I convince you with my show of comedic skill?
Let's just say you're lucky we can't rank with imaginary numbers.

 

by ObiJo
4-10-01
I'm store! I'm store!
What?
I was made store by the us or dancers!
Come again?
My chair is burning! Help me plot!
Silly foreigner.

 

by ObiJo
4-11-01
Elitist.

 

by ObiJo
4-11-01
Jay Leno thinking he's cool.
So I dunked on his ass.
Shazam! Thanks for coming by Shaq, man. You're always a good sport, dude. Dunk one for me, guy.
The Disney Channel.
And there's the big dipper, sis.
I see it, I really see it!
Bob Saget still breathing.
I'm on that one, boss.
Uh oh.

 

by ObiJo
4-12-01
Hi.
Hello.
So...
So...
Well, I'll be seeing you.
Yep, see you.

 

by ObiJo
4-12-01
Hit me.

 

by ObiJo
4-13-01
Hey, no neck, what the hell's up with those shoes?
OoOo, your socks match your shirt, your shorts match your scrunchy. Big frickin wank.
Never piss off Magical Maggy.
I'm buying myself an axe.

 

by ObiJo
4-16-01
...turkey on wheat, onion, tomato, hold the pickle...
When Mr. Oblivious wonders into a home thinking it's a Subway, Christmas comes early to the Sticks-His-Dick-in-Your-Ass-While-You're-Looking-the-Other-Direction household.
Running start in three, two, one...

 

by ObiJo
4-17-01
Aroused! Very Aroused!
Gabe #3 thought the Squirrel Team seemed a little too confident when they had made the $100 bet that they could beat the Gabe triplets at basketball.
I'll guard the squirrel.
I'll guard the other squirrel.
Fuck.

 

by ObiJo
4-17-01
Here's a brief overview of genetics...
Let me explain quantum gravity...
The world's round.

 

by ObiJo
4-19-01
Mr. Johnson, the doctor will see you now. Do you have that stool sample ready?
Yep.

 

by ObiJo
4-19-01
After their drunken homosexual encounter of the previous night, Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles can barely stand to look at each other, let alone interact for the show.
Umm, looks like the bride has, uh, the balls in the family. Literally...or something.
The, uh, groom is groping the...Oh, fuck THIS! I need to go scrub about three layers of skin off!

 

by ObiJo
4-19-01
Jael, that comic was so great it will change the world more than Wyld Stallions!
Why, thank you! It just came to me when...umm...hold on a second.
Beat it fuckers.
Damn.
Damn.
Moo.

 

by ObiJo
4-21-01
RAAAAAR! TOBOR AND FRIEND WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
No, no, no! Can't we have a word first?!
Peritonitis.

 

by ObiJo
4-22-01
The Monologue
So I was watching a rerun of Golden Girls and I have to say, Bea Arthur. Yowza. Yoww Zaa. Am I right, kids?
The Skit
And the number one reason to have your dog spayed or neutered...Tax Deduction.
The Audience
The
Horror.

 

by ObiJo
4-25-01
I take it you disagree.

 

by ObiJo
4-26-01
I used to be young and pretty.
Really?
Really what?
You used to be young and pretty.
Really?
Really what?

 

by ObiJo
4-30-01
a)Confetti.......b)Toothpaste....... c)Interstice....d)Vagisil.......
I'd like to use the 50/50.
Ok. Computer, take away two of the wrong answers.
.........................b)Toothpaste....... .........................d)Vagisil.......
Hmm, the two I had it narrowed down to. That's always the way. Ok, since I don't have any friends, I'd like to poll the audience.
Ok, audience. Please select on your keypads: Which do you use to brush your teeth: b)Toothpaste or d)Vagisil.
99% said Toothpaste with 1% saying Confetti.
Well, Regis, I'm just not sure. I think I'm going to walk with my $100.
*sigh* This is why Trabec never has "Community College Week."

 

by ObiJo
5-05-01
Lord, I admit my sins. I was smitten with a kitten. In fact, I 'gabba gabba heyed' half the damn kittens on my block...
Shhhhh! Ees comin' bak.
Well, my work 'eres done. 'Av a pleasan' aft'world all. As for me, I'm a flyin' squir' an am gettin' the ell out. Ta'care.
You too. Don' be a stranger.
Don't be a stranger?
Oh, shut it!

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
Sense
Hello, fluffy bottom.
Process
Comprehend

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
Where is that blind date Marc set me up with?
Oh no.
Hello, Janice? I'm Marc's friend Sargobyle.
Marc? Who's Marc?
He's the one in the burlap sack. Now help me drag, sweet cheeks. The lair's a ways from here and the little ones grow restless to feed.

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
Scratch my foot and I'll tell you a secret.
Ooo, Ok! There! Now what's the secret?
I have a flaming case of leprosy.
W-w-wwhat? Why do you call it flaming?
Scratch my other foot and I'll tell y...shit, too late.

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
Ms. Pac Man?
Fuck her.

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
SURPRISE!!!
Happy Birthday, sweety! Everyone's here!
Goddamnit, mom. I told you I didn't want a party. Did you hear me or were you too busy knobgobbling that psycho boyfriend of yours?
Mom?
Mom, are you ok?

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
Shh! Shh! Shh! He's coming everyone. Dim the lights.
SURPRISE!!!
Thump.
Grandpa? Grandpa, are you ok?

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
SURPRISE!!!
Happy Birthday!
It's not my birthday. And who the hell are you?
I'm the Birthday Bandit. Now, your money, your life, or your bald-headed wife.
Hmmm...
Don't even think about it, bub.

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
It's goddamn beautiful down here!
Cursing is a sign of low intelligence.
Bitch.

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
...then one time I stopped a nuke from detonating using only a band aid and some horseradish.
...
But that was nothing compared to the 6 cylinder all terrain vehicle I fashioned out of popsicle sticks and horse hair.
...
But my coup de grace had to be the 3 story, 6 bedroom, 3 bathroom home I erected using only your grandma's feces. Boy, could that woman shit!
Ok, Grandpa McGyver. Isn't it time for your medication?

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
Anyone hear about the dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
Speaking of dogs, anyone know a good dog training school? I wanna learn to lick my balls.
Get him!
Gotta go, tip your waitress.

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
There's a linear progression of the T90s with respect to input, i.e., U40s. However when the auditor examined...
Excuse me.
AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, you were saying?

 

by ObiJo
5-09-01
We see you when you're sleeping.
And how.

 

by ObiJo
5-10-01
Grampa, was grandma really killed by an oncoming train filled with rabid monkey feces?
Oh, no. That's only what I tell people since a heart attack seems too morose.
Oh.
She really died in a birthday cake accident. Her hair got on fire from a candle, and she was prancing this way and that to stop it. In the end, it was no good, she was too damn flammible.
Which is it? A birthday cake accident or a heart attack?
We've been snooping in grampa's garden, haven't we, boy?

 

by ObiJo
5-14-01
October 12th, 1892
This is bullshit!
February 23rd, 1898
BULLshit!
September 6th, 1901
BullSHIT!

 

by ObiJo
5-15-01
Manraping some guy when he bends over to pick up a pencil.
I tend to disagree.
A father's gentle touch in the middle of the night. Right, dad?
Let's go over the word 'secret' again, Karen.
Never having to say "I love you."
Or "Please put down that atomizer." But, I'll say it anyway. Please put down that atomizer. Please?

 

by ObiJo
5-15-01

 

by ObiJo
5-15-01
What's up with the title of this comic? Is it some kind of joke?
It's not funny. You've got me sketchin. You've got me seriously sketchin.

 

by ObiJo
5-15-01
Too bad for you, Bob.
Too Bad? What are you talking about?
Haven't you seen the title of this comic?
No, why? Here, let me read it.
Unsuspecting white man gets...
That's my cue.

 

by ObiJo
5-15-01
What are you doing?
I'm trying to make sense of the title of this comic. Annoying kid on left doesn't not...SEE, that's the part that's confusing!
Here, switch places with me and maybe you'll get it.
Ok, thanks.
Sucker.

 

by ObiJo
5-16-01
Now, go on Tobor Junior. You know what to do.
Ok, dad. I'm scared, but I'll do it.
raaaaar! TJ will muffdive!
Ok.
They grow up so quickly. *sniff*

 

by ObiJo
5-16-01
Oh, everyone just LOVES Tobor. Meanwhile, I sit here all alone and unused.
What I need is a catchphrase that strikes fear in people's hearts. But that cornhole thing is already taken. Hmmm. How about...
You smell like poopy, Mr. Poopy Pants.
Haha! Look, Mommy, a funny robot! Say the funny thing again, Mr. Robot!
No.
Pleeeease?

 

by ObiJo
5-16-01
...so the Mohel says, "Woops!"
Hahaha! Get it?
You SUCK! Get off the stage!
Oh, you are SO getting cornholed.

 

by ObiJo
5-16-01
Rrrrinngggg!
Hello?
Uh huh. Yeah. Ok, let me check.
Mom, TJ wants to know if I can come out and get cornholed.
Not until you finish your homework, mister.

 

by ObiJo
5-22-01
Hmmm....dare.
Whack Paulie.
Ah, maaannn. Ok...be right back.
Watcha doing with that cleaver, Silvio?
Nothing personal, Paulie. Just an intense game of Truth or Dare.

 

by ObiJo
5-22-01
Oh how the Zuckermans loved the Alphabet Song.
*singing* a, b, c, d, e, f, g
h, i, j, k, lmnop
qrs, tuv
w, x, y and...
FIRE!!!

 

by ObiJo
5-23-01
You know, the Israelites spent 40 years wondering the desert and emerged more enlightened.
The Egyptians built those amazing monuments called pyramids in their desert.
With all those fine examples, do you think you could get your dick out of the camel?
No.

 

by ObiJo
5-23-01
This is my 201st comic.
Laugh, damn you, laugh.

 

by ObiJo
5-24-01
So...
So...
What in the hell are you doing here?
Slummin'.

 

by ObiJo
5-24-01
I'll take the enslaver, you get the savior.
Me, me, me, me, me! Oh, darn.

 

by ObiJo
5-24-01
As the rulers of the universe arrived at the conference, it quickly became apparent there was an imposter.
Be cool, man. Be cool. RUN!!!

Showing page 4.

« Previous Next »