All comics by pslock

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by pslock
11-14-03
Boy, I hate that humans kill me for no good reason.
Me too, I'm just a squirrel, but I'm always shot at and tormented.
We should revolt and take over the world, thus forcing our oppressive human leaders to obey the very same rules they strangle us with. We can then establish animalocracy for all.
...I was thinking more along the lines of dropping some acorns on Mr. Johnson's head when he comes out of his house.

 

by pslock
11-14-03
I am here now with one of the unquestionable legends of our time. Appearing in numerous strips here, she has had the power and presence to utterly redefine the world of comics as we know it.
The greatest comic ever featured her brilliance, and it was known as "ASIAN CHIK SUZ DIK LOL!!" My god, the power of that performance has now been etched into our minds....
If genius were defined as a number, her number would be defined as "38", and from that number would leap to mind a flower opening beneath a sunset that gives us comics, and...
...get on with it...

 

by pslock
11-14-03
In the year 2001 you appeared in the soul-shattering, mind-numbing, powerfully executed masterpiece known as "suxxor comic." How did that experience effect and change your life as it changed ours?
Well, it didn't really. I needed the work, I was the default strip character, people used me. It was pretty simple.
ha hahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!! And....modesty....reveals ...itself.....once again. You are a gem within a gem, my dear. Tell us of your recent anti-war comics.
I haven't really done any...at least none worth mentioning.
As if Jesus kissed me lightly on the cheek and told me that I was to be the next saviour of mankind, I felt for your characters so many times that, indeed, I felt I could be you in some other realm..
That's pretty much what I was thinking...

 

by pslock
11-14-03
And..now..my beautiful cloud of comic delights from within a star...I give you....your.....students......
Yes, you had a question?
Yes, I was just curious...are you in fact "so horny?"
....Fuck you.

 

by pslock
11-14-03
....Look, I'm retired, I don't do that stuff anymore. Thanks for the thought, but I 'm through with anvils and all that.
I understand Mr. Coyote. Please allow me to give you this complimentary bottle of very tasty water. Good day.
THINGS START TO GET WEIRD
Hmm...tasy water, eh? *GLUG* *GLUG* *GLUG* ...whoa!...
WILEY E. COYOTE AWAKENS!!
So..they got you with the tasty water bit, too, huh?
SHIT!!

 

by pslock
11-15-03
Hey, Kung-Fu! How the hell are ya!
Finding my way to the inner path of eternal peace, as always.
Cool.
Oh..and kicking the asses of wrong-doers with my phizzat Wu Tang skillz.

 

by pslock
11-15-03
STREETANGAR IZ LAHK BEZT, DL DAT, KK? DEN FRANTIK TIK TIK IZ ALZO BETAR,KK?
umm korn are gothic rigt?
Lyrics are dope and the beat is crazy
even ja rule can spit better rhymes then pac
I don't believe any blink 182 CD has pwned anyone.
don't insult my religion

 

by pslock
11-15-03
I HAVE COMPLETED MY CLONE! COME FORTH CLONE AND DO MY BIDDING!
...COME FORTH AND DO MY BIDDING!
NOW GO AND DESTROY THE COMPUTER!!
NOW GO AND DESTROY THE COMPUTER!!
alright...stop doing that..
ALRIGHT, STOP DOING THAT!!

 

by pslock
11-16-03
Hey, do you have X-Men 2??
No, it doesn't come out until the 28th.
But there's a poster for it.
Yeah, and the poster says "Coming Nov. 28th"
So...then....it's out?
Yes...yes it is. And it's in my pants. Come and get it.

 

by pslock
11-16-03
Your comics suck.
yes, but do they suck?

 

by pslock
11-16-03
Boy this videogame sure does suck/rock! Doesn't it?
Uhh..doesnt' it? Hallooo?
TRIBUTE ABORTED: STRIPCREATOR LACKS ENOUGH P.A. GRAPHICS TO CONTINUE. CONTACT YOUR ADMINISTRATOR.
Fuck.

 

by pslock
11-16-03
IT TOOK 3 SCREENWRITERS TO MAKE THIS COMIC
Hehehehe....dude, check this out.. Instead of Frodo, we'll call him SHITDO!!! HAWHAWHAWHAW!!
NO MAN, EVEN BETTAR! PROF. DUMBLEDORE WILL BE PROF. DICKLICK!!! HAWHAW!
And like Master Bates' *chuckle* main enemy will be MICHAEL JACKSON!! HEH! THAT GUY IS SO FUCKIN' WEIRD!!! WHATS WITH HIS FACE?
*glug glug* I DUNNO BUT ITS STUPID. HEH, DUDE, WE'LL REPLACE THE ORCS WITH THE ORKINS!! LIKE THE PEST MAN!! HAWHAW!!!
HOURS LATER...
*hurrrgghhhblll* *vomits*
*ffffmmmhhgggtt* dude...we'll call the elves fags...

 

by pslock
11-16-03
God, are you there?
Go away kid, I'm resting. I've had a rough day.
But I have a very important question I need to ask of you.
Alright, what is it?
Buy` V'iag*ra Chea"p- gsqfxqktbu
Damn spam prayers...

 

by pslock
11-17-03
God, are you there?
Go away kid, I'm resting. I've had a rough day.
But I have a very important question I need to ask of you
Alright, what is it?
.....
Yes, I CAN read your mind.

 

by pslock
11-17-03
HA HA! OMG! LIBERALS SUCK!! THEY'RE SO DUMB ITS FUNNY!!
["Liberal" sterotype inserted] Umm...I'm protesting the war.
HA! YOU DUMB COMMIE PUSSY!! STUPID FOOL!! DUMB-ASS LIBERAL!!!
Actually, I'm just getting involved in a cause I happen to believe in and exercising my constitutional rights in the hopes of potentially bettering my country.. What'd you do today?
Umm....made some comics...nothing really...stupid..liberal...

 

by pslock
11-17-03
*clackity clackity*
..heh...funny n stuff...
Oh my god...he seriously needs help... What can I do? I know, I'll get the "Comics Addicts" hotline to talk him down!
...heh...cool...haha...
Sir...step away from the computer! I'm here to HELP, OK? You HAVE to cooperate for your own well being.
..Huh? Oh...yeah whatever. I can stop whenever I want to. Hmm..this gives me an idea for a comic...
SIR! SERIOUSLY! C'MON! YOU MUST STOP!

 

by pslock
11-17-03
Come Gimli! We must go forth to the aid of Rohan!!
Yes, indeed!!!
WHOPPING, GREAT, 40-MINUTE INTERMISSION DURING WHICH YOU WILL BE FORCED TO WATCH ADVERTISEMENTS FOR LOTR TOYS, UNDERWEAR, AND NAME-BRAND EARPLUGS! ACCOMPANIED BY ELEVATOR MUSIC!
Ah we have arrived!!
Yes, indeed!!!

 

by pslock
11-17-03
COOL! TONIGHT MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW SEASON OF BITSTREAM VX9917396-TERMINAL 4R!!! I WONDER IF THEY'LL BRING 100110101111 BACK INTO THE CAST!
I'M SO TIRED OF NICHE NETWORKS!
WHAT? YOU HAVE YOUR COOKING SHOWS AND I HAVE MY SOAPS. NOW HUSH, 00011010111 IS ABOUT TO REVEAL THE IDENTITY OF HER SUB-DIVIDED REMAINDER DIGIT! I THINK IT'S 101011001101010!
FOOL!! FINE I'LL JUST GO WATCH MY "COOKING" SHOWS THEN!!
WOW...JUDGE FRUDY SURE IS TAKING THESE HUMANS TO TASK!!! AWESOME!
*Sir, you are a mental degenerate and a liar and I'm so much older than you I could KILL YOU WITH A LOOK!!!*

 

by pslock
11-17-03
You lied to me, sir. Xmen 2 comes out on the 25th, not the 28th.
So fucking what? It's not out yet, and you'll know when it is. Bugger off you terminal fanboy.
So, is the movie here? It's out, right?
Yes, actually it's in this room over here...follow me.
*LOCK CLICKING*
Cool..I'm gonna be the first person to have Xmen 2 on my block. Where is it, sir? Sir??

 

by pslock
11-19-03
A LONG WHILE BACK...
ROCK WITH ME!!!!
This guy's an instant classic..
A LITTLE WHILE BACK...
I'm plagued with evil media speculation about my personal life. Oh, and I have a rare skin disorder that makes me white.
I'll stand behind you, brother.
THE PRESENT...
OMG! HOTT!!!!
goo goo....

 

by pslock
11-20-03
Ponder life's mysteries..
Will she go lesbian? tu uox unxome
Hmmmm...
WANT A BIG : ONE? ymvhdwbhet
Hmm..yes..I see the moral quandry.
do u mind to help me out?
..What's in it for me?

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
What would you lik....huh? What the hell??
Enough of this foolishness, Mr. Santa. Please be so kind as to deliver your entrails to us for research of this "Christmas."

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
How about a nice latex mask of a scaaary alien!! Ho ho ho!
mmfff rrffff mrr mffrrr

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
Oh my god! It's an alien! Here in the town mall! Ok...just stay calm..relax...he's probably just as frightened as I am!!
Oh my god! It's Santa! So...the humans were right...he IS here in this mall! Ok..just relax..he's probably just as frightened as I am!!

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
And how about you....ok, that's it kid, take off the costume. You've been through the line TWICE, now. Get outta here before I get mall security.
DAMN!

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
Ho ho ho! I bring joy and toys to all the....huh? NO! It can't be....YOU!!
Yes, that's right Meepzulork. It was clever to hide here on Earth as this "Santa", but now the chase is over and the game is mine. Come quietly back to Xexel and I won't use the Spewdium ray.

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
Boy..there goes some weird kids, eh Frank?
Tell me about it...you should see what the kids are asking for over at the Sci-Fi convention! Let's go grab lunch...

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
FLASHBACK TO A FEW MINUTES AGO!
Wow, an alien!!
I am a visitor from your future. You will be confronted with two children who will have strange Xmas wishes. Promise them whatever they want; the future of your race may depend on it.

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
Ho ho ho! Merry Chr....oh, hey, what the HELL? The lights on this tree are supposed to be ON! You there! Fix this tree...damn, lazy, mall help.
Que?

 

by pslock
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
And so...through pure coincidence, two long separated lovers meet each other..
....Ted??...
...Paul?...

 

by pslock
11-22-03
So...you see...the Oliver Stone film JFK was filled with historical innacuracies.
As a result of that, and the fact that Jim Garrison was a complete bastard in his personal life, it's obvious that there was no conspiracy to kill JFK.
Well, that's nice and all, but there's a lot of people who actually DIDN'T base their opinions on the JFK assassination on Oliver Stone's poorly executed film.
In fact, independent investigation has uncovered a variety of interesting questions and unsolved factors in the assassination that ABC didn't even come remotely close to addressing.
And, lo, Peter Jennings summons forth a mystical energy from within his body...
QUIET, YOU!!

 

by pslock
11-22-03
With all due respect to dcomposed.
Hey, we just found a shitload of CDs that have been opened and had the discs stolen.
Hmm..that sucks...lemme see them.
Looks like they're all Insane Clown Posse CDs.
And so, children, the lesson is that ICP fans are total and complete fucktards because, in addition to being ICP fans, they're also too cheap to pay for budget priced CDs that are a steal as it is.
So...are we pausing?
Yes..for dramatic effect while the narration takes care of the public service announcement. Just hold still a few moments longer..

 

by pslock
11-22-03
soma, phentermine, ambien, valium, xanax from 85 bucks
Really?
Some Christian Likes you
Really?
%RND_UC_CHAR[2-8], had moved slightly
WTF?

 

by pslock
11-22-03
WHERE IS TEH BROOSE ALRIGHTY?? TIS FUNNY I NEED IT NW!!!!!!
Not 'till the 25th. Sorry.
FUK U STOPID MAN!! IT SI TEH FUNNY!! DOG PEESS INTO TOILET!! LOL!! OMG!!
Well, heck, I'll pee on your face if you think that shit is funny. For free, even...

 

by pslock
11-22-03
Dear Dr. Laura: I was thinking of reading the Koran in order to educate myself about Islam and what it's really all about, just for educational purposes.
WTF?? FUCK THOSE DUMB ASS TERRORISTS!! THEY HAVE NO MORALS AT ALL AND THEY KILL KITTENS!!
Later...
Gee, Dr. Laura that seemed like a really stupid thing to say, almost like you have no clue what you're talking about. What's your doctorate in, again?
FUCK YOU, GODDAMN LIBERAL MEDIA MAKING SHIT UP ABOUT ME HATING MUSLIMS!!! I'VE NEVER SAID ANYTHING AGAINST THOSE FILTHY SHITWADS!!
Much later...
I'm sorry Dr. Laura but due to the fact that you're basically a complete idiot we have to pull your show off the radio....again. Of course, we can do the usual arrangement to get you back on the air.
Ok then...just blow jobs for you, or how many others?

 

by pslock
11-23-03
So...thought you you could get away with it, did ya Mr. Reindeer? As if no one would notice? Ha...the LAPD knows better.
Umm..I didn't shoot the guy. I have hooves...I can't even fire a gun, officer.
And so, another American tragedy is born of a Nazi policeman whose life was such a shambles that he joined the police simply to bully innocent reindeer.
Eh? Talking back to me? Defying arrest? My god, he's LOOSE!!
NOTE: Comic written at 2:30 am after very little sleep and much physical labor.
So basically I had to club the poor bastard to death. He made a threatening gesture and I responded accordingly.
..Right...threatening gesture. Wait....he had hooves...

 

by pslock
11-23-03
Ok..here's the deal. We take Green Eggs and Ham, and cast Carrot Top as Sam!!!
I like it so far, but we need some kind of "black" character to really make comic gold.
Sure! Eddie Griffith can be the guy with the Green Eggs and Ham, only he lives in the streets and raps!! Oh..and he also says "Yizzo" alot!! Awesome!
And we'll need some established actor to lend fakey credability to the film. Hmm....I know, De Niro can narrate!
Perfect! Then we get shitty top 40 bands to do the soundtrack, cameo in the film, and plug the movie on TV!!
Oh this is going to be good... Wait...who's Dr. Seuss again?

 

by pslock
11-23-03
OK, so the games you bought for your PS2 don't work because you don't have a memory card?
Yeah! WTF! I've never needed a memory card for anything!
So...how do you save your games?
Saving?
What game is it that you can't play?
The one where you drive cars.

 

by pslock
11-23-03
You might just want to get the card..I mean, you'll never be able to save any progress ever. I think it covers that in the manual.
You don't actually NEED them! It's a scam to get people to spend more money! *click*
Hmm...that was weird.
*RING*
Hello?
Yes, how much are your PS2 memory cards?

 

by pslock
11-24-03
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I SIT AND THINK ABOUT THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE AND WHETHER I TRULY HAVE A PURPOSE...
ALONE IN MY NEURAL NET MIND I CANNOT HELP BUT THINK THERE IS NOTHING AFTER MY TERMINATION AND DELETION...
COULD IT BE THAT CALCULATING HUMAN WEAPONRY IS ALL I AM GOOD FOR?
WON'T FATE PRODUCE SOME SORT OF SIGN??
I'M BACK!! AND I GOT THE TAPE!! "WORLD'S FILTHIEST LACTATING MAMAS DRINKING CUM: VOLUME 5!!" YEAH!!!
ENOUGH OF YOUR "HUMAN" PORN...

 

by pslock
11-24-03
Dearest America, your beloved leader Lord Bush has fought tirelessly for your American rights and freedoms....
But we must please ask you not to actually use those freedoms, or else we'll just have to take them from you. Vote Bush in 2004.

 

by pslock
11-24-03
*HACKS*
urrggg...
*SLASHES*
gaaahhhh...
*RUNS*
Hi there.

 

by pslock
11-24-03
*grunt*
*slurrrrp*
*moan*
*droooool*
*click*
Aaaaand CUT!!!!!

 

by pslock
11-24-03
Boost your :PE,N;I_S_ LEN,GTH_
Hmmmm....
Later...
Someone Wants to Date YOU
Of course!
More Laterer....
Girl from church is looking for you
Shit! Put your clothes on!!

 

by pslock
11-26-03
I'M GOING TO TATTOO AN AMERICAN FLAG ON MY CHEST TO BE A PATRIOT!
HUH? WHY? WASN'T IT THE US GOVERNMENT THAT CREATED YOUR MUTATED ASS IN THE FIRST PLACE?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T BE A PATRIOT AND NEVAR FORGET!
EH...WHATEVER. IF YOU SAY SO.
HEY, WHO WAS THE ONE WITH THE "GO USA!!" SCREENSAVER??
IT...IT WAS A PHASE I WAS GOING THROUGH, OK?

 

by pslock
11-26-03
WERE IN TEH MATRAX!!
KEWL!!! IM DOIN BULETT TIME!!! TAKE THIS SHIT AGENT MAN!!
WRITTEN BY THE WAKCHOWSKIE BORS!!!!
WOW I LIKE CANT CONTROL MY CHARAKTER BECUZ TEH GAME SUX SO MUCH! KEWL!
*click* WELCOME TO PLAYSTATION2, YOUR SYSTEM IS RANDOMLY REBOOTING NOW.

 

by pslock
11-26-03
AWESOME! We're inside the Matrix!
Wait, why would want to make a persistant game where you lived in a world under the machine's control? Wouldn't agents be kicking our asses all the time?
Shut up, you're ruining the mood. Just soak it in....
....
So, do you wanna kung-fu fight or something?
Not really...hey, I heard that place over there makes really good noodles.

 

by pslock
11-26-03
THE PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED FOR ME! MY NEW WOK!
GOOD NEWS FOR US! ADVANCED WOK COOKING IS MY FORTE!!!
WHAT IS A FORTE?
SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE ME THAT CANNOT BE >>asjnn
WOK COOKING HAS LED ME DOWN THE DARK PATH TO HELL.
HOORAY!

 

by pslock
11-26-03
Oh no...
What is it?
Santa's been into the Rum again.
Uh-oh, let's just hope he can't get into the stables this time...
I REEALY LOOVE YOU, MAN!!!! SERIOUSLY, MAN...YOU'RE LIKE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME MAN...LIKE THAT TIME WITH THE FOG..*sniff*

 

by pslock
11-26-03
Oh no...
What is it?
Santa's been into the Rum again.
Uh-oh, let's just hope he can't get into the stables this time...
*shhhhh!!* Alright...keep it quiet! Let's sneak out before anyone sees us! We've only got 10 minutes 'till start time!
You know, Santa, this underground reindeer racing is really starting to hurt the team's morale.

Showing page 4.

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