All comics by Namgubed

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by Namgubed
2-26-03
Meanwhile, back at a scene from the classic pr0n flick ...
The doctor said I can only be pleased by a 9-inch cock.
*SOB* Only four inches away from happiness ...
D-oh!
*BOOM CHICKA WOW*
... but the doctor said he can cut off as much as I want!
*DROOL*

 

by Namgubed
3-04-03
Jurassic Park scene #37. Quiet on the set. Places - and ... action!
ROOAAR!!
GAAAHH!
Um ... Roooooooaaaar!
Uh ... Noooooooooo!
CUT!! Is there a problem, Mr. Brando?
Sorry, but lawyers always leave a bad taste in my mouth. And this costume is too tight, for Pete's sake!
I canNOT work like this.

 

by Namgubed
3-06-03
I asked her whether she thought shoe horns were funny, or if she had contemplated the tantalizing conundrum of eternity ...
I told him I was reminded of kittens frolicking in the bamboo gardens when he ran his fingers through my hair ...
The violet flames in her eyes danced so unlike a tutu-clad sumo wrestler as I blithely requested her phone number ...
After I licked my thumb, leaned over and straightened his eyebrows, I replied, "of course, Mr. Silly-Nose! Have you got a pencil?"
You need pencils? At Clipper's Office Supply, we got TONS o' pencils!! Eight ten-packs of #2 Berol Naturals for a limited time at our special low, low price!!!
Fi' dollah!!

 

by Namgubed
3-14-03
Meanwhile, back at a noteworthy midwestern mountain range ...
♫ The Grand Tetons are alive ... ♫
♫ with lumpy mole-hills! ♫
AHH-AHHH-AH-AH-AHHH!!
... I'm sorry. This awareness campaign thing just isn't working.
Hey! Take it from Fred Savage: work is work, uniboob!

 

by Namgubed
3-19-03
B-but I could've sworn you were Edmond, my long lost love!
But this man you knew has died long ago, Countess. I am the Count of Monte Cristo! Here's your stop, don't let the carriage door hit your sweet ass on the way out.
When I became your man, I swore to protect you, even from yourself, Zapata. Just kill her husband and take her!
Hey, I've fot a sweet revenge plot going here! Screw it up, and you're done for, Jacopo!
Mengigo.
Whatever.

 

by Namgubed
4-06-05
It was a treasure clue, way too big to dismiss ...
The Good Ship Moh was lodged in polar ice and buried in snow; it didn't sink!
But Kaufman, what is this tank I'm flying?
Hummer.
Look! A rival crew has beaten us to the freighter. They're getting away! This crate is so defective.
This calls for extreme measures!
Delenda Carthago!

 

by Namgubed
4-07-05
Our intrepid treasure hunters follow the trail to comic #1251, and a valuable clue ...
I used to work in a super trendy area of town. We used to sit on the steps of our building and smoke.
... and that's when those men asked you about gravitons and such?
Yeah, they were going on about rotor turbines, and I cought a glimpse of Sir Isaac Newton's gyroscope in their possession!
Rotor turbines and Sir Isaac Newton's gyroscope?!?
This can only mean one thing ...
They're headed straight for Hoover Dam!

 

by Namgubed
4-08-05
Hell, no fair!
Why?
This busted screen was like a friend. Best CRT I ever had, bar none! My Zenith has stopped Zenithing.
I thought that it might. That original comic will be tough to track, though.
We'll just have to go through Brad's stuff, and examine every document we find.
Ooh, a slick B & E operation that can leave no trace! I've got my tools - do you have enough cash for bus fare?

 

by Namgubed
4-09-05
We're in! I'm sure Brad keeps his Stripcreator stuff in this very room.
It would help our efforts to remain undetected if your boom box wasn't blasting the Mission Impossible theme.
Seriously, that music is totally ruining my concentration!
Hold on a second ... who the heck is THAT?
Sure enough, as Kaufman flips the light switch ...
Oops! Now it's really hit the fan.
They can't see me ... they can't see me ...

 

by Namgubed
4-10-05
The search seems woefully fruitless as a bad dream, until Kaufman finds Dr. Livingston, he presumes ...
... Dr. Daisy Livingston, of the Stripcreator Museum.
We need to know where the Comic #1 hardcopy is stowed!
Music that rocks, for the boom box! The soundtrack for "Hair" - Madonna's "Truth or Dare" -
Hey, cut the tunes and check out these 3-D specs I found lurking in a bowl of rancid porridge!
Oh flower of the rarest bloom, won't you help our crew?
OK, flattery will get you everywhere, but you made a pointless trip. The comic's back has meaningless blue and red smudges and boo-boos!

 

by Namgubed
4-13-05
Say, Donald Trump, are you looking for your Visa card again? Heh heh.
Uh, Mr. Trump? ... My goodness, what happened to you?
I fired my hairstylist.

 

by Namgubed
4-13-05
Poor old Pvt. Westkirk. The old bean simply snapped, and practically dove over the top, and into a flurry of the Kaiser's machine gun bullets!
What could have driven him to such a senseless, desperate act, I humbly ask you? Was it shell shock? Fever madness? What, pray tell?
He said he couldn't stand to see another knight in the trenches!

 

by Namgubed
4-16-05
What are your thoughts on the current state of bluegrass music?
I think the governor is doing a great job of running it.
Music genres don't have governers.
Then who makes taxes for them?
Uh, well, you see, a medium consults the spirits of the King of Rock 'n' Roll, the Queen of Salsa, the Sultans of Swing, the Mambo Kings, the Lady of Blues, the Godfather of Soul, and Count Basie ...
You forgot your line again, didn't you?

 

by Namgubed
4-17-05
Meanwhile, back at the Pet Sematary ...
I am the ghost of the chicken who almost crossed the road! Boo!
What, is that supposed to scare me, or something?
Well, just you wait 'til you meet my twin brother!
Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots.
Sure enough, ten minutes later ...
I am the ghost of the chicken with Asian Flu that took a dump in your corn flakes this morning!
**V O M I T**

 

by Namgubed
4-18-05
Look, these 3-D specs reveal a hidden message on the back of Comic #1!
So tell us what it says, already, you bucket of bolts!
I can't do it! It can only be read with I.E., and all I have is Netscape.
But I.E. is a free download, and I'm sure we can copy it from Brad's machine through your USB port!
I, uh, well, do you have a 5¼" floppy we could use?
I suppose next you're going to tell us that your OS is Windows 95!

 

by Namgubed
4-23-05
Hi, I've had nothing but coconuts and the occasional beached whale for six years, and prayed for death, having lost all hope of rescue. You?
I've drifted three months on a raft with my trusty rifle. I swear, if I can't hide from them ass-probing aliens, I'll fly into a murderous rage!
And you honestly believe they won't find you here?

 

Look - just because the license plate says you're handicapped doesn't mean you have to drive like it!
by Namgubed, 4-25-05

 

by Namgubed
4-25-05
Timmy! Come on down and see what Santa left under the tree for you!
I could complain about doing short entertainment gigs on Christmas day ...
Hurry up, Timmy! I'm pretty sure this one was at the top of your wish list!
But work is work, and I charge extra for holidays. And besides, who can resist those little smiling faces?
DAMMIT, TIMMY, THIS SLOW-MOVING PREY ISN'T GOING TO EAT ITSELF!!
Oh, crap ...

 

by Namgubed
4-25-05
Come, sir, just one after dinner mint. It's wafer thin!
I couldn't possibly eat another bite ... but OK. *munch* *munch* *munch*

 

by Namgubed
4-26-05
Dear lord, there's blood everywhere!
Who could've done such a thing? I mean, she's nearly decapitated, OJ !
... OJ ?

 

by Namgubed
5-03-05
Hey, thanks for the drink! My name is Janet.
Would you like to go home with a lonely carpenter? You're sure to get nailed!
Uh ... not tonight, I have a headache.
Yeah? Well I have a schlong THIS BIG and it's got Excedrin written all over it!

 

O vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas!
You said it, sister! My life so revolves around the bathroom sink.
by Namgubed, 1-12-06

 

O vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas!
You said it, sister! It's all about the custom made license plates!
by Namgubed, 1-12-06

 

So what's the meaning of life, Imprisoned Cowboy?
Depends on whether it's with or without parole ... And whether you get to make custom license plates!
by Namgubed, 1-12-06

 

by Namgubed
1-12-06
Senator Feinstein has the floor ...
Mr. Alito, if you are appointed to the Supreme Court, would you outlaw abortion?
No. As a matter of fact, in YOUR case, I'd make it compulsory and retroactive, bitch!
Ahem! Senator Kennedy ... ?
Let me read from this article in a newsletter of an organization with which you were formerly affiliated ...
Sorry, what ...? I still can't get over how you could ask Clarence Thomas questions about sexual misconduct, you horny fat lush!
Uh, Senator Leahy has a question ...
Would a living will give family members the right to end the life of a brain-dead vegetable?
Folks, let's hear it for the man with the winning straight line. Next!

 

by Namgubed
1-18-06
From "Mary Poppins" ...
♫ "... tuppence a bag!" All around the cathedral, the saints and apostles look down ...
Man, I've seen this a hundred times! *CLICK*
... to "Les Miserables"
... look down and see the sweepings of the street, look down, look down upon your fellow man! ♫
I think I hear something crawl from the slime, many miles away.

 

by Namgubed
1-19-06
From "Mary Poppins" ...
♫ ... chim-chim cheroo, good luck will rub off when oy shakes 'ands with you. ♫
Man, I've seen this a zillion times, but I can't find the remote!
... to "Power Outage"
♫ ... or blow me -- **POP**
... indeed.

 

by Namgubed
1-19-06
From "Les Miz" ...
♫ ... you see it's true, that man bears no more guilt than you! Who am I? TWO - FOUR - SIX - OH -- ♫
I'm getting tired of this heart tuggery. *CLICK*
... to "A Chorus Line"
... ONE--♫ Singular sensation ... ♫
Is that a shadow on my door?

 

You thought your kids wouldn't eat them if you said they were "bear claws" ... so what did you call them?
"Ted Kennedy's Hemorrhoids"
by Namgubed, 1-19-06

 

As well as providing entertainment on Bil's hunting trips, Dolly was also his best pointer.
by Namgubed, 1-20-06

 

Okay -- you're a zit -- I get it already!
by Namgubed, 1-20-06

 

Man, this cat really likes corn!
*munch* *munch*
by Namgubed, 1-23-06

 

Holy crap, I'm reflecting
m'I ,qarc yloH pnitcelfer
by Namgubed, 1-25-06

 

by Namgubed
1-27-06
Meanwhile, at the Army's super secret psychotropic testing laboratrory ...
Well, Pvt. Guineapig, after taking massive doses of Salvia Divinorum, can you tell me where the WMD's are?
No sir, but I can tell you this:
What? What?
"Your generous disposition and gregarious smile will open many doors for you."
Crap.
... and your lucky numbers are: 5, 11, 14, 26, 36, and 43.

 

Spare change?
No thanks, I've got plenty!
by Namgubed, 1-27-06

 

by Namgubed
1-27-06
♫ I'LL NEEEEVER LEEEET YOU GOOOOOO! YOU'RE AAAALWAYS ON MY MIIIIIIND! ♫
♫ YOU'RE THE OOONLY ONE FOR MEEEEE, YOU'RE AAAALL I NEEED, AND I'LL NEVER ♫ LEEEET YOU GOOOOOO--
--**KA-BOOM!!!**--
Did you see that? He done blowed up GOOD!
He blowed up REAL good!

 

by Namgubed
1-30-06
It's largely the same routine for most general surgeries - first, you remove your clothing, and the scrub tech shaves the incision site ...
I'm glad he tells me these things beforehand ...
Then we wheel you into the OR, where you scoot over to the operating table, and the anesthetist tells you to count backwards from 100 as you breathe in the sleepy gas ...
... so there won't be any unpleasant surprises ...
Then we turn on the spotlights, uncover your naked body, and point and laugh at your shrivelled, flaccid genitalia ...
... but I'm still changing my HMO.

 

by Namgubed
1-30-06
Meanwhile, 30 years ago in Jersey ...
I triple dog dare you to say it!
OK.
Aunt Candy! I bet I know why they call you "Candy"!
Aw, he's going to say it's because I'm so sweet.
It's because you're so FAT, you look like you ate a ton of candy!
HEY!!

 

by Namgubed
2-02-06
Can you prescribe something for erectile dysfunction, like Viagra or Cialis?
I have something even better! Try some Love Potion #9!
*BOING!*
Wow, I am totally turgid! What's the secret formula?
Watch the movie on DVD starring Sandra Bullock!
*PBPBPBFFFLTT!*
Wow, I am totally flaccid!

 

Your cafeteria has a soft-serve brains machine.
Greymatter smoothie with a human flesh on rye, medium rancid.
You want flies with that?
by Namgubed, 2-08-06

 

The loafer sitting next to you rats you out for dozing off without a warning.
Zzzssnxxx...
Can't concentrate on solitaire with all this racket! I'll teach him ...
by Namgubed, 2-08-06

 

by Namgubed
2-08-06
Doctor, it seems like everything I like to eat gives me this horrible, horrible gas, which then propels the odor of my oozing crotch rash everywhere ... it's like Arthur Treacher's Fish 'n' Shit!
No doubt. I'll refer you to a nutritionalist, and get you on some topical cream...
... like the other day when I was standing next to the hors d'ouvres table at a wedding reception, and no one but me was having any sardines on crackers ...
-- right, right. Let's have you go ahead and see the nurse for your prescription.
Awaiting prescription orders ...
WAY more shock therapy!

 

by Namgubed
2-10-06
This is it!
Dear Intrepid Explorer, Congratulations! One month ago, you de-ciphered my Da Vinci code, constructed a pair of anti-gravity shoes from my blue-prints, and are now hovering at the pre-determined co
I'm gonna be stinkin' rich!
-ordinates at 10,000 feet above Rome, where you found this message containing the world's greatest secret attached to a helium balloon in a partly cloudy sky with a 5-knot east wind. Now the Secret
Crap.
You are at the perfect vantage point to view the end of the world as it gets struck by a meteor the size of Mars' lesser moon five seconds after you finish reading this letter. Enjoy! Sincerely, Leo.

 

by Namgubed
2-13-06
♫ Listen to my story 'bout a man named Dick, out huntin' with his friends, and the brush was really thick ... ♫
** rustle **
The game's afoot!
♫ And just when he thought he was shootin' at some food, ♫
♫ Out of the bushes fell this lawyer dude! ♫ Lawyer, that is - human scum. Insert generic lawyer epithet here.
I am not an animal !!
Sorry, but from a distance, you looked like Dan Quayle.

 

by Namgubed
2-17-06
Your first assignment as a volunteer fireman is to rescue a cat from this tree by by chopping it down.
Chop the cat down? If you say so ...
That didn't turn out the way it was supposed to.
I know. So what do we do now?
After a brief discussion and a short trip to the shop ...
Good thing the owner has cat insurance!
Here's your replacement! That's $20 deductible, keys are in the glove box.

 

by Namgubed
2-17-06
OMG, SOS, OMG !!1!!
WTF, RUOK?
FUBAR, IMNSHO.
BTW, WWJD?
BBIAB

 

Gosh, Mr. Leopold Stokowsky, how many musicians are in your symphony orchestra?
More than you can shake a stick at!
by Namgubed, 2-17-06

 

... and in today's political news, Vice President Dick Cheney is forced to admit that his shotgun has killed more chicks than Ted kennedy's car.
by Namgubed, 2-17-06

 

... and former FEMA director Robert Brown points the finger at the Dept of Homeland Security in an excuse that can only be described as being less water-tight than New Orleans.
by Namgubed, 2-17-06

 

by Namgubed
2-17-06
♫ I write the strips that make the whole world laugh,
Are you sure you're not exaggerating your gift?
♫ With characters that don't include a giraffe, I write the strips that make the lame n00b5 cry,
What do you mean? There's a giraffe right behind you!
♫ I write the strips, I write the strips! ♫ I'm teh funneh, and I write the striiiiiips!
You suck!

Showing page 6.

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