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Ph33r the cute ones

 

I don't believe we've met.... by Domfiny 5-28-02
Hey! Didn't expect to see you at the opening night of Star Wars. Aren't you the chick with the Star Wars name?.	Leia, we met at the comic shop. I least my parents didn't name me Yoda. Haha! Who would name their kid Yoda?.	I don't believe we've met, I'm Leia's brother, Yoda Shit!I!!!

 

Prince of Yaoi by Domfiny 5-28-02
The perils of buying fansubs Let me see what you've been raving about. Pop it in. Finally my Prince of Tennis tape has arrived! I hope he didn't send the wrong tape like before.	What the! You didn't tell me Prince of Tennis was yaoi! And not ordinary yaoi, either. Not again! Turn it off, PLEASE turn it off before he does what I think he's going to do with that crowbar!	That was...wrong. Still, whatever floats your boat. Remind me to put arsenic in your beer tonight.

 

Fanime 2002: Why, Yamaga-san, Why! by Domfiny 5-28-02
Fanime Con 2002 Yeah, and Hikaru no Go wasn't bad, either. Wow, this is great! There's so much merchandise, and I finally met my idol, Hiroyuki Yamaga!Yeah, and Hikaru no Go wasn't bad, either.	Wait, isn't that Yamaga-san at the bar, flanked by cosplayers? That guy can really hold his liquor! It couldn't be, Yamaga-san is too-	Was it just me, or did that waitress slap him? He deserved it. Let's say we forget about this, possibly through the use of lots and lots of pills.

 

Fanime 2002: Sleeping is prohibited by Domfiny 5-28-02
Fanime Con 2002 I thought I'd find you in this theater. How long have you been sleeping here? Since Yu Yu Hakusho.	That was yesterday! Man, these seats are SO comfortable!	Remember what happened the last time security found you here? Don't remind me, I still have the scars.

 

Fanime 2002: Too damn long by Domfiny 5-28-02
Fanime 2002 Damn, these elevators take forever! I know, you could die of old age in the time it takes to get here!	Is this the first floor? Um...yes.	Did we really just see that? More pills, must take more pills, and beer, lots of beer...

 

Say wha?! by Domfiny 5-28-02
Midori, I need to talk to you. I think I lo- I need to talk to you, too. Honey, I have a split personality disorder.	Say wha?! Shut your mouth, bitch, or I'll tape it shut!	Check, please! Man, that was close. Shut it, lame-ass.

 

Put down the gun! A (partly) true story. by Domfiny 5-28-02
Wow, an authentic Japanese sweets shop, complete with craggy old lady! How much? For you, five for five dolla!	Can I just have one? No! Get out, get out, or I-	Where are you going? Shit! Put down the shotgun, mame,I didn't-RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! *bang* I said five for five dollas!

 

Stuck in Weezerville. by Domfiny 5-28-02
Let me get this straight, you got dumped by an 18-year old half japanese girl, who said she was a lesbian but actually ran away with a guy named Jonas? Uh-huh.	Is it just me, or did we get stuck in Weezerville? Her brother's name was Rivers.	Sweet Jebus! I REALLY need to get back to the good life... Not funny. Remind me to burn your house down.

 

Listening issues by Domfiny 5-28-02
Doctor, I think my relationship issues have to do with unresolved feelings about my mother. I also think my father played a part in the forming of my ego. *snooze*	I can trace my milk issues back to a childhood memory of a robust, alcoholic milkman. Doctor? You're sleeping! What do you expect, me to stay awake through all your bullshit?	Even my therapist won't listen to me... Can I go back to sleep now?

 

No whoring! by Domfiny 5-28-02
Volunteering at a children's shelter isn't so bad. You're right. I'm actually having fun.	Is it just me, or did that kid just stab that one? Nah, just kneed him.	I should have just paid the goddamned ticket! Break it up! Next boy that pulls a knife needs a timeout. And girls, NO WHORING!

 

Burped Away by Domfiny 5-28-02
North American premiere of Spirited Away Wow, that was the best Miyazaki movie EVAR, and I was one of the first Americans to see it! Haku ruled!	Here comes Suzuki-san. This should be good, a Q and A session with one of Ghibli's foremost producers!	Another idol down the drain... Did Suzuki-san just burp?

 

Evil Fansubbing Minions by Domfiny 5-29-02
Dear Fantom Fansubs, I am e-mailing you about your failure to send me the correct tape. For the second time you have sent me a disturbing yaoi instead of Prince of Tennis...	I know where you and your evil fansubbing minions live. If you send me another yaoi I will have no choice but to pay you a little visit. Do not underestimate the power of my l33t weaponry	Thank you, and also: next time you drive I would check the brake line on your car, it might be cut.

 

"Warp" this! by Domfiny 5-29-02
Blockbuster: Lair of Satan You got High Heat 2003? How about Mister Mosquito? Grand Theft Auto 3? Way of the Samurai? State of Emergency? Welcome to Blockbusters. Nope. Nada. Never. In your dreams.	What DO you have? "Crash Warped."	Let me at him, let me at him! "Warp" this, zit-faced minion! You'll get yours, and your little store, too! Chill, man. You can't win, it's cursed ground. Let's go log on to Red Octane, that should calm you down.

 

As the Megatokyo turns... by Domfiny 5-29-02
Mega Tokyo withdrawals: Day two Maybe if I stare at it long enough, a new comic will magically appear.	Day 4 Kimiko...Piro...Largo...Tsubasa...Erika...Dom...Ping...don't desert me...I need you! I'll cherish you this time! Please stop it, I can't sleep, and you're scaring the neighbors. They said they would call an asylum, I okayed it. Do I REALLY have to mace you again?	Day 6 Oh my sweet Jebus! A Shirt Guy Dom comic! I'm saved! Please kill me... anything would be better than this...

 

Virtua French Open by Domfiny 5-30-02
Hasn't the French Open been great! Full of upsets and exciting matches. I can't believe about Sampras, though. Yeah, that was a bit surprising. What I was really amazed at was the shellacking Agassi got.	What are you talking about? Agassi is still in it. What have YOU been watching? Oh, you were talking about the REAL French Open. I was talking about "Smash Court Tennis." I didn't know you watched real tennis.	How did I end up like this, in a world where the only thing my boyfriend ever pays attention to is pixels? Nice one, Rafty, but if you want to win this title, you're gonna need to react quicker. That's it! Stick it to Kafelnikov, the loser. Only a game to go, Patty, and the tournament is ours!

 

Nature Quota by Domfiny 5-30-02
Ah, it's nice to be out in nature, we don't do this enough. It really is refreshing. I know, I feel great. And people say we never get out.	???	Was that a huge rat, or a small wolf? Either way it's bad. I say we ditch this park and go play SSX Tricky. Definitely, we're in mortal danger. That should cover our nature quota for the month.

 

Heart Boxers by Domfiny 5-31-02
The Perils of Internet Friends I am finally meeting my internet friend Amy. We've talked for months, she's a great gal, just turned 24. Are you sure this is a good idea? I don't like it.	Uhm, no, no Gabe here. Are you Gabe?	I've been talking with THAT GUY!! Somebody shoot me. The Internet suxs. I told you I didn't like it. Still, seemed nice enough, if you forget about the whole heart boxers thing.

 

Evil One-Eared Bunny Aliens by Domfiny 5-31-02
Who are you and what have you done with Gabe? What are you talking about, Man. Stop tripping. It's me, Gabe.	As I thought, you're body has been taken over by the one-eared bunny aliens. Fear not, friend! I will save you from that evil shell. Don't touch me! It's in your mind, I'm not a one-eared bunny!	Die, alien minion, die! Don't worry, Gabe, it's almost dead. Yeah, I know. From now on the alcohol stays in locked cupboards.

 

I think he likes us... by Domfiny 5-31-02
What is the meaning of life? Is there a God?	Is there a Heaven and a Hell? Where do missing socks go?	Screw this shit! What is the point of this comic? I think the cartoonist just likes using us.

 

Shouldn't have watched that... by Domfiny 5-31-02
I am an advanced robot from the future. I have come to learn about your human ways. Huh?	Do not be afraid. I come in peace. Take me to your leader. What the!? Another one? I knew I shouldn't have watched that Sci-Fi marathon last night.	Dude, we're out of beer, go get some. Shouldn't have watched the fantasy marathon, either.

 

I'm Writing! by Domfiny 6-04-02
Hey, let's go rent a movie. I still haven't seen Perfect Blue. Not right now, I'm writing. You know how important this is to me, I have to finish this story and get something published. It's my dream, and I have to ignore all distractions.	I totally understand, Man. Don't let me bother you anymore. I'll be back with the movie in an hour. Good luck! Thanks, I'll need it.	Now to get back to the task at hand. Hate to break it to you, but posting in a Prince of Tennis chat room does not constitute completing the Great American Novel, boyo.

 

Iron Chef and Gabe by Domfiny 6-08-02
Allez Cuisine! I am Chairman Kaga, and it's time to start Iron Chef! The theme ingrediant is... SHEEP TESTICLES! Yum.	What's that? It looks like he is using condensed fish eyes to add flavor. And he's mixing it with the broc-OH! That was a bad fall. Is he okay? Is that blood or crushed tomatoes? Get up, Sakai-san. Don't be a pussy. The swelling will go down, just don't lose time. 15 MINUTES REMAINING!!!	OOH! So good. I would love this after a night of drinking.It's so...STICKY! It reminds me of the food my mother would make when we ran out of money and had to use expired products. FABULOUS! Somebody get me a yellow bell pepper.

 

Let me live! by Domfiny 6-08-02
Hello, are you John Gabriel? Oh no! It's the Grim Reaper come to kill me! Is it really my time? But I'm so young! Let me live!	No no, nothing like that. I'm on vacation. You left your wallet at the Video Store. What were you doing at Castro Video?	I wanted to rent The Wedding Planner. You got a problem with that? Just because I'm the Grim Reaper doesn't mean I don't enjoy J. Lo now and then. Hey, can I use your bathroom? I gotta pee. This is too weird. I need a drink.

 

Square Source Forum members: because it's about time! by Domfiny 6-08-02
Square Source Members: Part One Nikii, alias Spidergirl. Meggiweggs.	Intellectual Chimp Emma, alias Kamui Ku	Kori, alias Fighter Zell Me, alias Domfiny

 

Copa Mundial!! by Domfiny 6-08-02
ENGLAND!! YAH! We kicked Argentina's arses, and we'll kick the rest of 'em's arse, too, Baby! USA!! We're the real thing! Portugal fell on their knees at our feet, and we'll keep on whipping them all!	Japan is win! We will beat the best, Hideo Nakata is my idol. Japan is best, HAI HAI HAI! Ireland is kicking butt! By the dunes of Fannymore, we'll bloody the noses of our opponents, Old Boy Roy or not!	What the hell is going on? They're killing each other. Is this all over a stupid soccer tournament? I wouldn't know, I'm Canadian.

 

Senor Pellota, meet Senor Ass-kicking by Domfiny 6-09-02
Why are you sleeping at three in the afternoon? You pulled another all-nighter watching the World Cup, didn't you? I told you it would mess you up. But it was US and Portugal! I couldn't miss out.	Couldn't you just tape it or something? Nope. It must be watched live. Senor Pellota said so.	Senor Pellota, huh? Great, you're hallucinating. If you stay up another night watching soccer you're gonna meet Senor Ass-kicking. I can't sleep with all that Spanish, it drives me nuts. It's not that easy. Univision is addictive, man. Once you start watching it you can't stop. GOOOAAAALLLLLL!!!!

 

Square Source Members, Part Deux! by Domfiny 6-10-02
Squarce Source Members: Two Etchran Rotall Phoenix Fire	Dreadful Hero Evapilot	Liam Queen Chyna (add racket :) )

 

Warning: Sidekick subject to change by Domfiny 6-12-02
Hello all, I have an announcement to make: From now on I will be taking on the full-time duties as Gabe's sidekick.	Why, you ask? Well, frankly, the creator thinks I look REALLY cool. What's happened to Russ? Let's just say he's peaceful. Mwahaha, now the comic is ALL MINE!	Warning: Sidekick subject to change Listen, Jon, I won't go away without a fight. Lying in your truck for three days sprained my back, but when I recover it's WAR! Oh, dear, I guess the horse-tranquilizer wore off. You must have quite a tolerance. Security!

 

The perils of finding a roomate by Domfiny 6-15-02
The perils of finding a new roommate So, why did you leave your last residence? Me and the landlord had a falling out...out of the window, to be precise. Don't worry, though, he only broke a few bones.	Is...is that your cat? Yes, his name is Mr. Winkles, he goes everywhere with me. Sometimes he tells me things. He can read minds, too. Come on, Mr. Winkles, read the man's mind! Read it, DAMMIT!	I'm not even going to ask. Gabe! What do you say we just forget about having another roommate? I really think it would be better. What, do you have a problem with sadomasochism? It's a perfectly common hobby. Why don't you try it? Expand your mine, my friend!

 

What, you mean like a boxset? by Domfiny 6-15-02
Dude, I need your help, I have a problem. What is it? I hope I can be of help.	Well, I need some new fansubs, but I can't decide: should I continue with Hikaru no Go or Prince of Tennis, or try something new like Mahoromatic or Chobits? Man, I'm stuck. Uhm, why don't you save up for something actually important?	What, you mean like a boxset? I like where you're going. I'm gonna go before the urge to strangle you with my bare hands overwhelms me. *sigh* I can't believe this is my life.

 

How to tell that your date is trying to impress you by Domfiny 6-17-02
How to tell that your date is trying to impress you. Man, I REALLY like this girl! So then me and my friend want to see the movie "Cherish," then we went for some raw sushi down at "Blowfish."	I LOVE "Cherish!" I LOVE the movies! I LOVE raw sushi! I LOVE "Blowfish!" Later I was listening to Weezer and talking to a girlfriend of mine and...	I LOVE Weezer! I LOVE your girlfriend! Uhm, well, not really...I, just...well...Damn, fucked it up! Check, please.

 

New life forms by Domfiny 6-17-02
Happy Birthday! I got you something I thought you could use. What the-! Are you serious? This is a shirt. I already have a shirt.	Yeah, "a" shirt. You've worn that shirt for TWO YEARS STRAIGHT! You could use another one. What is wrong with this shirt? It's Pac Man, for chrissake. It's classic! Besides, it's not THAT dirty.	Yeah, except for the new life form that has formed in your collar. Oh, that. They really aren't a bother, except for the smell...and the bloodsucking. Besides that, they're kinda cute.

 

The Struggles of Writing by Domfiny 6-17-02
Chapter 1:He awoke to the smell of grease coagulating on the darkened stove-top.The kitchen was as dirty as a prison cell.Hard,dry crust entered his lips and down his slimy tongue into the great abyss No, that doesn't sound right.	He struggled to open his eyes. He stumbled down the stairs. The kitchen was a mess. He maneuvered to the toaster and ate dry toast. Still needs some tuning.	He woke up, went down the stairs, and ate toast in the dirty kitchen. That'll do. Simple yet direct. Why don't you just forget this and go on the Net? It's not like this is going anywhere. I wouldn't be expecting a Pulitzer if I were you.

 

Headed for disaster, Part 1 by Domfiny 6-17-02
Where are you going? I have a date. I'm taking her to Morton's.	Morton's? You must really like her to fork over for that meal. Who is she? She's great. Beautiful, intelligent, funny.	Okay, I know there's a catch. What is it? Is she a man, or a convict, what? I know there's something. She doesn't speak English.

 

Heading for Disaster: Part 2 by Domfiny 6-17-02
This date has disaster written all over it. It has Gabe written all over it, too. Still, at least it will make for a good anecdote at parties. Do you know where my b-b gun is? I think I just found a good target.	Later that night It's been an hour, and you haven't said a word! I don't care if it's in Martian, just SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT! You can speak, right, you aren't mute? Man, Jon was right, this is a disaster. How did I end up on a date with this crazy American? He won't stop screaming, and he doesn't speak a word of Japanese. I should have known this was a bad idea. I just hope we don't get thrown out.	Even later that night What the hell happened? I knew it would be bad, but not THIS BAD! You haven't had a beating this bad since when you said Lain sucked at the convention. Never make a move on a girl you can't understand, especially if she's Japanese, they kick REALLY hard.

 

A funky l33t epileptic seizure! by Domfiny 6-17-02
Jon, come on in, Buffy's on! You can finally see my famed "Buffy Dance." I'm not sure if I want to, if it's anything like I'm expecting.	Woohoo! Worship my funky l33t moves! You look like a Japanese kid after watching Pokemon. It looks like you're having an epileptic seizure.	A funky l33t epileptic seizure! You're just jealous you don't have the groove. Stop it, you're starting to scare me. Are you sure I shouldn't call the paramedics?

 

Telemundo...mi amore! by Domfiny 6-17-02
Hola, Copa Mundial con Espana e Irlanda! Par con uno due Raul e Pepsi Cola un tre quatro Robbie Keane e futbol GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! Must...stay...awake...keep...lids...open!	I'm going to ask you one more time: TURN IT DOWN!!! Que? Senor Gabe non aqui.	Oh no! He's starting to turn Spanish. I need to turn on Fuji TV to try to regain his former Japanese obsessed self! *snooze*Telemundo....mi amore!

 

Buffy the Gabe-slayer by Domfiny 6-18-02
OH MY GOD! It's Buffy herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar! Hey, Buff-babe, what do you say we go somewhere nice and quiet, if you know what I mean. Oh no, another lamer. Listen, Dork, I don't want any trouble, but I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't leave me alone.	Feisty. I like that. Let's tussle, Girl. You don't take a hint, do you? I don't care if you're not a vampire, you're dead meat. HYAA!!	AH! Oh, few. It was just a dream. That freaked me out-MY ARM!! If you try coming into my room in the middle of the night again I'll break more than your arm.

 

Where in the world is Russ? by Domfiny 6-18-02
Hello all, Russ here. After being fired as Gabe's sidekick, I decided to travel and do some thinking. Here I am in space, thanks to the Russian Government. Wow, I can see my house from here!	Here I am in the snowy wilds of Mongolia. The natives are nice, but I'm really bored, I miss my anime. It's not as cold as it looks, I've only lost TWO toes to frostbite!	Here I am in barren Afghanistan.The US really did a number on this country, I haven't seen a person in days. All this traveling has made me realize: Jon, be prepared, 'cause I'm coming for your HEAD!! Regiment, I found a native. Kill him!

 

Fourth rule of soccer by Domfiny 6-18-02
Oh my lord, the US beat Mexico! They are unbeatable. They'll be in the soccer elite soon! Never, US will always suck, it's a fact. Winning a couple games won't change that.	How can you say that? They have been amazing! They're's no reason they can't become great. US will never stop sucking. It's the fourth rule of soccer. Get used to it.	Note: The views reflected here do not reflect the creator's views, in fact the creator has great faith in US soccer. Go team :)! I've never heard of "The rules of soccer." what are the first three? Rule number one: US sucks. Rule number two: US still sucks. Rule number three: Nope, US still sucks, big time.

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