All comics by KamikazeBob

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by KamikazeBob
5-04-03
You know, I'm beggining to like GameFaqs. I thought it was where a bunch of geeks talked about violence at first.
I know what ya mean.
I've made some friends there that are actually cool.
Really? How interesting...
Shut up. I know that you hang out around the Beach Volleyball boards.
Lies I tell you. All lies! You've got no proof. And the super glue doesn't count!

 

by KamikazeBob
5-04-03
I'm really getting sick of GCN Social. It's turing into another LUE crying out loud!
Uhh. Yeah. Another LUE. Right.
Are those condoms? Is it.. oh no. Oh my.. ow.
It's not what you think it is.
Meanwhile at an unidentified LUE member's house...
Where are you ya sexy beast. 1 ha\/3 teh b0n3r!

 

by KamikazeBob
5-04-03
Regardless of all my attempts to stop them, they just don't listen.
Trying to tell fanboys to stop flaming is like telling Michael Jackson to look pretty. It ain't gunna happen.
Maybe you're right. And after all it's not that big of a deal.
Now you're catching my drift. Anyway, you aren't taking care of them, Satan's got that job to look forward to.
Let's see who's next. Now to find this "Mine" person...

 

by KamikazeBob
5-04-03
This website's got some weird fellows, if you know what I mean.
That's obvious. How else would a website get so many people if they all looked the same?
I meant that some of us are unusual and wouldn't fit anywhere else. I mean, do you ever not hold a beer can?
Well, there's always condoms...
At least I'm better looking than the jackass over there.
What? Hey! I take that offensive.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-05-03
There is breaking news coming from a person with a cat. We're live with him right now.
Hello boys and girls. I've got big news for all of you today!
After months of confusion and secrecy, I reveal myself to be all the Timmy and Tommy accounts! I want to thank my parents for the yelling and caring to make me achieve this. Thank you!
A few days later...
...and that was it. A Carrot Top wannabe was behind all of it.
What has this world become?

 

by KamikazeBob
5-05-03
The new NBA drafts are up. It looks like Sanders went to Chicago but he later sprained his right leg.
Now the Collins/Bradly trade is in question since Long and Jones with Yanders didn't trade. Also the Southern Eastern Western Hemisphere needs to out perform the Northern Eastern Southern Hemisphere.
Now what the hell did he just say?
If I told you, I'd run the chance of confusing myself.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-05-03
I find it funny how all the message boards go crazy when there's a woman. It's like they're aliens.
Eh, that's what happens when most of 'em are virgins in the late 20's. It doesn't help.
Hello!
I think she likes me! Off to make sidecracks and eventually stalk!

 

by KamikazeBob
5-05-03
I hate school. There's too much work and it's always too long. *sigh*
Five minutes left, five minutes left...
Oh my God! The new girl's stripping!
*hurried* Only five minutes left, only five minutes left...

 

by KamikazeBob
5-05-03
Welcome to Hell! In Hell, you can find a variety of assholes, misfits, and even celebrities. When a celebrity's career die, so do they.
He offer many "artistic views" as to how to tourture someone. That includes the usual burning them, poking them, and strangely, freezing them.
Isn't that right, Pauly Shore?

 

by KamikazeBob
5-05-03
Man, I'm starving. It's like I haven't eaten all day.
Maybe you haven't.
Am I suposed to remember?
I don't know. If I remember I'll tell you.
Whatever. Once I get out of work I'm going to Subways.
Wait, you buy yours? Damn. Last time I had to hunt antelope.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-05-03
People are so obsessed with sex and violence. They need video games and movies to get their share of it.
Really?
I think. Anyway, at least they don't just rape people and kill them.
There's some sick people out there. Imagine if they got confused.
Kill! Kill! Sex! Sex! Wait. Damn...I never get that in the right order.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-06-03
Hello everyone. I am here to discuss state tests and what to do in them. Remember, sometimes you can only do this if you know that you'll fail. Ok. This is one of our favorites. Watch and learn.
*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*
Why are you clapping your hands?
The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-06-03
Hi. I'm here with a special guest today. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Beat Grind Radio!
Hi.
Hey.
Umm. So, which one of you is Beat?
Well, after the "accident" I was split up into we, if you know what I mean. Some people think I'm, err we, are schizophrenics, though.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-06-03
Welcome to Hickville, USA. Also known as my home.
This place has so many hillbilly moments that I can't count them all. I always remember Billy Bob's "family reunion".
You might be surprised with what you find here. Oh, hey Beat.
...

 

by KamikazeBob
5-06-03
How's your mom? Last time I saw her she was going at work.
I don't have a mother, she died when I was only six.
Oh man, I'm sorry I never meant to...
Shut up! You are so inconsiderate! *sob*
Works every time.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-06-03
Hey there's Hooters!
Hooters! Hooters! Hooters!
Hooters! Hooters! Hooters!
Guys, guys. We have to be more polite to her. From now on, we call her Double D's.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-07-03
Hey Baby. What's up?
Nothin' much yet. But I like what I see.
I got a thang in mind. It begins with "f" and it ends in "uck." I think ya know what I mean.
Sicko! I just met you! I'd never do that so soon.
...what's so wrong with firetrucks?

 

by KamikazeBob
5-07-03
Just got the new Castelvania today. It rocks!
Really?
Yeah. It's got a new character, a new story, a sword. I mean, it's got just about everything...
Stop there. Let me guess, it's too short?
Umm. Yea. How'd you know?
Do you need to ask? It's Castelvania.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-07-03
This is part two of the new series "Test Advice."
Here's the tests. As soon as you get them you can begin.
Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!

 

by KamikazeBob
5-07-03
Hey, I haven't seen you for a while. What's been up?
You know, the usual. Drinking some beer, buying too many condoms, same old same old.
Why do you need so many condoms?
Just in case I'm in a 20 girl orgy.
...and when's that going to happen? Never.
I know. Well, on another note, I need only 17 more condoms to get a free Trojan Horse.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-07-03
Look at that loser over there. What a nerd! If it wasn't for that hair I'd think he's a transvestite.
The dumbass looks like he'd jump from his office window. I wouldn't mind, it would be one less ugly thing to look at. Hahaha!
Shut up you stupid fuc...
...ah oh.
I'm finally released. I am the Apocalypse! All will be killed at the hands at me, starting with the Dutch! Hahaha!

 

by KamikazeBob
5-07-03
Now that I'm released, I will kill those in my way and those far away. Basically you're all screwed. Except for him, he is my creator. First with the stoners.
Sweet. Wait, what am I saying, he's going to destroy the world. As long as those stoners get it...
"Take the courses" they say. But no, I had to be a stubborn jackass that didn't take anger management courses. Well, I'm safe and they're screwed. Time to brag.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-07-03
You, who art in mine way, thou shalt feel the pain of of all who suffered.
What? Are you high or something, 'cause if you are I want some.
Ignoramous. You shall be smiten by the forces of evil. Take that!
What the hell!? I'm a chicken? Does that mean I'm a cannible if I eat at KFC, 'cause I got the munchies right now.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-08-03
Well, GCN Social's back to hell. Once there was a slight light some n00bs came and screwed it up.
Calm down. It's not too big, that place was hell the last time I checked.
I wouldn't say that to me, you know I could get Damien.
That's alright, you don't have to do that. You know I was just kidding.
While in Europe...
*sniff* *sniff* I smell fear. And fanboys, in America. I'm off.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-09-03
Wow. I never knew how much happened at Columbine until the project was assigned. The attack was well planned out and not just a "shoot and kill" thing.
I'm not surprised. I mean, what else do they do beside racing tractors and killing Kenny?
That's not cool, a lot of people died from saving people and being unselfish. We shouldn't mock them, we should be sympathetic for them.
You're right. I do feel sorry for those kids.
Yeah, I know what you mean. Black trench coats are so out of fashion.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-09-03
Hello friend. Wanna pet my cat Fluffy?
*sigh*
BH-6!
It's people like you that make my job so much easier.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-09-03
That's it. I'm doing it.
Good luck. Remember, if you need a condom come straight to me.
...
...other come you sick freak.
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers. Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
Keep on trying.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-09-03
Be unique and different, say yes.
It's not going to work.
Fine, will you at least help me find my lost puppy?
Oh, of course! Where do you think it is?
I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
...

 

by KamikazeBob
5-10-03
You know, the Columbine shooting was terrible, but it won't happen in New York City.
Why do you say that?
Well, the schools prepared them so much more now than they would have before.
Is that it?
Well, if it were to happen in New York City the students would shoot them first.
Oh.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-11-03
I can't believe this. A game called "Celebrity Hitmen" is out. It's about assasins trying to kill celebrities!
So?
It's practically telling people to kill celebrities.
Do I have to repeat myself?
They might as well call it "Kill Pauly Shore."
Oh, that game. I'm on Bill Gates right now. Did you know that if you find Bubbles the Monkey in Never Ever Land that there's a "Remodel Michael Jackson" mini-game?

 

by KamikazeBob
5-11-03
Your mission is to assasinate Bill Gates and then escape.
There you are Bill Gates! It's time for you to die.
Think again. I'll crush you with my true self. Hahaha!
I think I saw this in anime once...

 

by KamikazeBob
5-11-03
Meanwhile in the real world...
That damn Bill Gates is impossible to beat. I mean, I dodge the tentacles but then the Nerd Worshippers surround me.
...what?
Well, unless I jump over the tentacles then do a Mega Jump past the minions and later impale them, I can do it.
Back up. I'm at Bill Gates.
Forget it. I've got to hop to it.
Did anyone tell you how much of a dumbass you are?

 

by KamikazeBob
5-17-03
Well, the new Matrix is out. I still have to see it.
Yeah, I just saw it the other day. It sucks in comparison to the first movie.
Really?
Yeah. The ending's a total letdown. Now I have to wait till November to figure out what's going to happen.
But I thought you saw it 26 times.
So?

 

by KamikazeBob
5-18-03
Well, I'm back from psychology. Did anyone call?
Yeah, one person.
Really? Who?
A girl named Kelly.
Kelly? You mean THE Kelly? Dude, you know that I've got the hots for her. *sigh* What did you tell her?
I just said that you were getting help because of Aeries' death from Final Fantasy VII. Too bad she didn't say anything.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-19-03
I must kill more people. It's been weeks and I've only destroyed villages. I feel so ashamed.
Are you Damien?
Why?
Well, as you can see I'm Death. I've got to talk to you about something. This killing has to fix up. I expect you to do so much more.
...Death is telling me to kill more people?
You bet your sweet ass I am. I haven't taken a break in Milleniums.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-24-03
For those of you that are on GCN Social, you might have found out that I was recently banned.
I showed my "cousin" how to make an account and made one on my computer. Hence his favorite book "Snow Crash."
I Will Return
So, by spreading the good word of GameFAQs, I get banned. Do you find that just?!
Bullshit

 

by KamikazeBob
6-01-03
Yep, after my account on GameFAQs was banned I became a mod at Draco Gaming. Ironic heh?
So now you "pwn" people by destroying their account?
Just about, but there's very little stuff to even delete their post. They can cuss all they want and nothing will happen.
The rules are set sort of low. Well, you still got that cool translator thing that makes words appear as other words.
Set "it" to "Fred" and "awesome" to "funky"
I'm already doing Fred.
That's funky. What the hell. Since when does Fred do this? People can have a lot of fun with Fred.

 

by KamikazeBob
7-04-03
Ah. It's good to be back.
I guess...
What do you mean? I was so bored not seeing my friends and talking to you.
I'm your Friend? Anyway, I found a way to keep myself busy...
Hey, look what I found.
Are those... Cheetos? I'll kill for them!

 

by KamikazeBob
8-05-03
So, how's it going with the foreign chick?
Foreign chick? I mean, fricking great! I'd say that I got a few touchdowns.
Touchdowns?
Umm, yeah, like football.
...you're lying about the whole thing.
I know, I got bored and I noticed the lonely hole in my wall... all by itself...

 

by KamikazeBob
1-13-04
Hello all GCN Socialers! I decided to make a comic to show you what fun you can have!
Yeah, it's quite easy and fun to do. So sign up now and start making fun of everyone!
You can make fun of people in you're head...
Or just plain out bash them like Beat Grind Radio!
I'm not talking until you apologize, you bastard.
We are most definitely not rednecks, regardless of half of me being a goat.

 

by KamikazeBob
1-14-04
So, what kind of stuff have you done lately?
I've just been watching "Married with Children" lately.
"Married with Children"? What for?
I just turn down the volume and think about fucking Christina Applegate.
It was all a vision...
I think I've seen this before...
28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That is when the world will end.

 

by KamikazeBob
4-22-04
I think I just figured out the secret behind pop stars.
Like Britney Spears? Why would you even care to notice...?
I still watch MTV...
Fag. Let me guess, first the innocent girl next door, then the growing up stage, then the slut.
Um yeah... how'd you know...?
Well, for a good year or so it was tough masturbating to this "mature whore"... Yes I know it's an oxymoron.

 

by KamikazeBob
4-22-04
I believe that MTV is rotting the minds of all my friends.
How come?
Well, my one friend had no idea what R&B was and my other friend tried to make a chicken out of chicken wings.
So what's so bad about the chicken thing?
He gave it four legs.
MTV shall suffer from now on.

 

by KamikazeBob
4-22-04
I finally had sex with my girlfriend!
Didn't I see you in a cheap horror movie?
Do you have some spare change?

 

by KamikazeBob
4-24-04
Phil, I feel like I'm the only one that think priests aren't all child lovers. I mean, people are blamming all priests of this act now.
What do you expect? Us Americans are assholes.
Yeah I suppose, but silly pokes at in movies like Scary Movie 3 are becoming redundant.
What do you mean it never gets old. Besides, what else could we make fun of?
And from there on, the new controversy became the janitor's abuse to his equipment...
Robot! Don't EVER plug your cord in another's outlet! It's time for an enema!
Don't say it's the pineapple again...

 

by KamikazeBob
4-24-04
What are you doing here? You're a priest.
Basically children keep a secret better than the elderly. I hate telling it, but...
I was at a "Catholic priest banquet" where we discussed the Church, when the "blood of Christ" came around then I lost all my senses.
Just one more beer. Whoa...
Before I knew it, it was morning, I had no sleep, and my vision was disoriented. I thought she was 10...
Cindy, mass starts in 5 minutes and the robe is in the closet. Let's get it now... follow me.
Did you say lax as in laxative? I don't have any left, I'd appreciate it if you had some...

 

by KamikazeBob
4-26-04
*depressing tone* The drunk driver crashed into his home and almost killed his infant while putting him in a wheelchair. The damages alone caused Bruce into debt as a single father.
*upbeat* Now on Extreme Makeover the neighbors are helping Bruce's home by refixing it! This is as fun as it sounds, so check in at 7:00 est to see how much more of hell Bruce can get.
There must be a sword rack!
Not before a spittin' bucket. Mmmm.
That's the last straw! OW! OW!

 

by KamikazeBob
4-26-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!
Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....
Another person becomes my bitch. Damn I'm good.
Isaac won't let me live this down. I best start on the butter now.

 

by KamikazeBob
4-27-04
Pa, I had sex with the sheep.
Why would you do somethin' like that sis!? If you weren't my daughter I'd whip you into line real good!
That's right bitch, I killed your parents. Wondering where they were? Well they're dead... and you're eating them! Hahahaha! P'Zoned bitch.

 

by KamikazeBob
5-03-04
1
Oh come on, I'm not the only one who thinks rat poison only kills rats here. It was only a joke.
I rest my case your honor.
2
Listen, it's alright to kill it! It's part of the food chain and if me and my Whiskers wanted some human for dinner it's perfectly legal!
Unless you're O.J. you're not getting away with this.
3
We were just doing our show trying to turn him into a metrosexual. We were making him skinny.
Making him skinny?! You circumsized him and kept it!

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