All comics by Prankenstein

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by Prankenstein
6-07-06
2006 years ago...
Go, please don't let anyone find out about that girl I knocked up.
2006 years later...
Hey man, fancy seeing you out here! Did you read The DaVinci Code, apparently Jesus may have disciples.
No... I did not read the book, I can't read. And thanks for reminding me, now I'm going to numb the pain with this whiskey I stole.
Back another 2006 years...
Dang...
Move along sir, before I write you a ticket.

 

by Prankenstein
6-07-06
2006 years ago...
God, please don't let anyone find out about that girl I knocked up.
2006 years later...
Hey man, fancy seeing you out here! Did you read The DaVinci Code, apparently Jesus may have disciples.
No... I did not read the book, I can't read. And thanks for reminding me, now I'm going to numb the pain with this whiskey I stole.
Back another 2006 years...
Dang... this day can't get any worse...
Move along sir, before I write you a ticket.

 

It's so awesome that you stand up to people that give raisins on hallowe'en!
No one tortures grapes around me! No one!
by Prankenstein, 6-13-06

 

by Prankenstein
6-13-06
Eat me hippie! Just eat me!!!
No way man... you're meat and meat comes from animals and eating animals is wrong!
Then you're just wasting my already prepared, delicious, crispy body. Show some respect and eat me!
I can't... beacause... ummmm.....
I'm soo sorry.
I'm jewish?

 

by Prankenstein
6-13-06
Dear user.... blah blah blah.... do not opperate under the influence... blah blah.....
...Improper use may result in death....wear protective gear......blah blah....yaddah yaddah....
oooh! instructions in Arabic... Çáí ÇÞÕí ÖÑÑ áÇãíÑßÇ. (for maximum damage to america...)

 

by Prankenstein
6-13-06
It says here I was supposed to use the nails from this box down here...
That's what I thought, I knew I wasn't supposed to be in this much pain.
Oh, this magic trick is never gonna work. Let's just call it a day, and I'll see you next week for the talent show.

 

by Prankenstein
6-13-06
Dear recipient, I have randomly sent you my rare blue-feathered talking ostrich...
...It is priceless so do not harm him, the only reason I have sent you him is that I am dying...
Knock Knock!
...from his endless corny knock knock jocks. Oh my god, kill me now!!!

 

by Prankenstein
6-14-06
Hey, Jane! Would you ever consider going on a date with Melvin?
Uhh... sure, if he promises not to drink during the night.
OK, I got you a date with Jane, but you can't have any liquor the whole night. Do you think you can do that?
I suppose I could try.
I'm so trashed.
I'm so leaving...

 

by Prankenstein
6-14-06
Wanna go see Brokeback Mountain with me?
No.
Aww why not?
Cause it's gay.

 

by Prankenstein
6-14-06
You got the money?
Yea. You got the 'ice'?
Yea, I got a primo shipment today, this is such good 'ice' it's gonna.... well try it for yourself. How much?
Sounds good, gimme a 1/4 ounce.
Earlier that day
Is that shipment you're sellin' any good?
Just look for yourself.

 

by Prankenstein
6-14-06
OK, this shot will protect you from mad cow disease...
But doctor, I'm not from a cow, I'm from a pig!
Well, just to be safe...
Damn it! Can't you tell I'm a delicious, crispy, flavourful...
Doctor! What happened to your patient!
He made himself tasty.

 

by Prankenstein
6-14-06
At the sperm bank...
Good Evening, I am here to donate sperm.
But you're a bloody robot!
And what do you think your doing in here little boy?
Jerking it ma'am. Isn't this a sperm bank?
Yes, but you're a child! Oh my, this place has gone to the dogs!
Ma'am, I'm done!

 

by Prankenstein
6-14-06
Everywhere I go, all people want to do is eat me. I need a friend who won't nibble on me 24/7.
Dude, I feel ya. I'll be your friend, I'm a vegan, your suculant strip won't tempt me.
Best friends!
Best friends!
Oh god, must fight temptations... oh fuck it, I'll eat him in his sleep.

 

by Prankenstein
6-14-06
I have made fire!
Quite safe fire too, watch as I...

 

by Prankenstein
6-15-06
What the fuck do you want!?
Hi, I just wanted to know if you ever considered switching your telephone service to Telus?
Yeah, now that you mention it I feel like I'm getting ripped off by my current telephone company...
Hmm... I see. Well you should check out Telus we've got... hey, you're a giant peice of bacon! I love bacon!
Did you get that customer?
Well, technically I got him... in my stomach.

 

It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood!
by Prankenstein, 6-15-06

 

by Prankenstein
6-19-06
Hey, is your refridgerator running?
Yea...
Well then you'd better go and catch it!
MOM!!

 

by Prankenstein
6-19-06
Hey Babe!
err.. um... hey.
Those shorts are very becoming on you, hell, if I were on you I'd be cumming too! Hehehe, if you catch my drift...
Ewww! Fuck off and don't try those lame pick up lines ever again!
Later that day...
Hey Babe...

 

by Prankenstein
6-19-06
Hey there neighbor! Wanna know a secret?
Yeah sure...
I'm naked behind here.
Yea, well I'm naked under here.
I won't tell if you don't tell.
Deal.

 

by Prankenstein
6-19-06
Hey neighbor! Wanna know a secret?
YES!!!
Bunny Man next door to me is naked under his suit!
TRUE!! BUT AREN'T YOU ALWAYS NAKED BEHIND YOUR FENCE?!?
I'll never tell.

 

Now this just doesn't make sense.
by Prankenstein, 6-19-06

 

by Prankenstein
6-19-06
Now I've had it with all of your uncontrollable bacon-eating habbits!
Wooo! You tell them you tasty peice of bacon, which I wouldn't mind having a bite or two of, or maybe the whole thing!
Gah! You people make me sick, I'm outta here!
Fine... just a nibble.
Tasty Bacon: It wasn't until a nice young man put it all into perpective for me...
Yo, yo, don't hate the playa, hate the game, you know what I'm saying, irresistable slab of bacon?
It all makes sense now...

 

by Prankenstein
6-19-06
Throughout the strips, I've came to realize that this is no place for a bacon of outrageous proportions...
I have learned that it is a cruel world, unsuitable for my kind...
Therefore in closing, I have chosen to rid myself of this world forever........ THE END...or is it?
Good bye, cruel world.
It's clobbering time!

 

by Prankenstein
6-20-06
Hey, welcome to Grease-tacular Fast Food, may I take your order?
Yeah, I'll have a Greasy Burger, no mustard... and... make it bacon, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry we're out of bacon at the moment.
Oh well in that case, gimme a Double Greasy burger, hold the mustard and... char... yeah, char the shit out of it...
Down the street
I can't believe they tricked us. We're lucky we're alive!
We're a lot luckier than Steve...

 

by Prankenstein
6-21-06
Come on Tom Cruise, come out of the closet.
No!
Tom, you come out of the closet right now! There's a fire, I'm not going to fight with you any more, I have others to save.
I'm not falling for that one, the answer's still no!
Boy, it's hot in here! Hey John Travolta, wanna pick up where we left off...

 

by Prankenstein
6-25-06
...And as one thing led to another, Pete was brought to a dramatic, yet awkward situation.
So are we gonna do it?
Lets get it on!
Wait! The doctor said no sex for a week or... what the hell did he say? Oh yeah, no sex for a week or I'll get an... err... errection!
You got to be fucking kidding me!
What the doctor REALLY said...
OK Pete. You have to listen carefully, you can't have any sex for the next week or you'll get an infection.

 

by Prankenstein
6-25-06
Say Pete, I dare you to chug this gasoline i found!
Now now, my shiny robot friend, that wouldn't be very responsible of me. So I'm going to have to decline.
A few dozen beers later...
Say Pete, how 'bout chugging that gasoline now?
Hell yeah brother! Hook that shit up.
Little did Pete know his bladder had been filled with highly flammable, gasoline piss after drinking two full jerrycans.
Fire! Fire! Fireman Pete has come to save the day with his fire hose!

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Hey Grim! What's that fandangled machine you got back there that you're trying to sell.
Why, that's my cosmoplasma-interstellar transporter. It's going to do wonders for us, it transports people to hell in bulk amounts, so it will be easier on my back.
So in fact, your saying that I will have more people in hell to torture, day in and day out?
Precisely
Dude, you machine is going to make my job harder, and yours easier, I'm not buying it. Go sell your idea to God or something.
Rats!

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Hey Dave, why are you here? I thought you said you didn't believe in school.
I don't believe in school...
..but my parents do.

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
ôMaking a virus, oh I'm making a virus, just to piss off the world!ô
ôI hope I don't fuck up my brand new computer, yeah, I'm singing the song about hoping I won't fuck up my brand new computer!ô
ôNow I'm sending the virus to every e-mail in existence, just to piss off the world!ô
ôVirus detected! Luckily I have virus protection installed! I'm glad it didn't fuck up my brand computer, yeah!ô
Fuck!
Dude, give it up.

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Dude, what the fuck are you doing now?
It's an anti-fashion statement.
Get a life.

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Dave, I think you should drop the whole 'rebel' charade. I'm getting concerned.
Dude, I can't stop, this is who I am.
If this is really who you are, could you picture yourself like this 10 years from now?
Totally...
In the dark, dank pits of Dave's mind.
I'm here to devile everything you own, and rape anything living!
Hell Yeah! Thats the life!

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Have you ever been nibbled on, laughed at for your ridiculous proportions or been discrimminated against for your healthy redish-pink colored skin?
Yea, from time to time.
Are you alone, in your house, wondering how I know so much about you?
Are you a giant piece of rare steak? Then I've got the perfect product for you...
Whoa, for a second there I thought he was talking about me.

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Dave, now listen to yourself. You want to become a viking now, I'm worried for you, dude.
But it's who I am, no one can change that.
YOU WANT TO BECOME A FUCKING VIKING!
OK, fine. I'll cut down a little.
My shoes are untied. Hell Yeah!

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Unfortunately, Dave took the minimal rebellious stage to an extreme
Dude, what's that smell? Did you brush your teeth this morning?
No. HeHe... nigga
And again...
Did you just call me a 'nigga'?
No. HeHe... nigga
Until it was about to tear apart his friendship with... the black kid.
Wanna fight?
No. HeHe... I mean, Bring it!

 

by Prankenstein
6-26-06
Dave, I really don't want to fight you. So how about you go back to how you think you are and we let this fly behind us... but I'm gonna have to punch you once, you did call me a nigga.
OK, I can handle that.
Oh come on! I barely touched you, well I meet up with you after school, I gotta run.
*gasp* my lungs *cough cough*
Stupid nigger.
There's our rebel.

 

by Prankenstein
6-27-06
Now Jason, what were you planning to do with this cat, and those hammer and nails?
Well, I was about to...
Put on a show for the kitty. See?

 

by Prankenstein
6-27-06
So, Dave, what are you up to after school?
Well, I got to do my paper route first.
Really, "Mr. Rebel" has a job? This is highly unlike you Dave.
Yeah, I know. I've to go to 200 houses...
A tribute to the late Mitch Hedberg
...or 2 dumpsters!

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