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| My uncle Fred was starting a new job as a bus driver, and he wanted to make all the kids feel welcome, so he painted Big Bird, Burt & Ernie, Oscar the Grouch and the Cookie Monster on his bus. | |
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| He picked up the first girl, Patty, and she was HUGE! Had her own zip code. She waddled on the bus, plopped own, and he went on to pick up the next girl, coincidentally also named Patty. | |
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| She was even fatter! Had her own area code. She waddled on, plopped down, and Fred went to the next kid, Bruce. Bruce was . . . special. He got on the bus, drooling, and sat there grinning madly. | |
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| On to the last kid, Lester, a total sleaze. Hadn't bathed or brushed his teeth in months. He sat down in a cloud of dirt and flies, peeled off a shoe and started picking shit off his feet. | |
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| Fred drops off this motley crew of human refuse, rushes home, opens a beer and hits the sofa for Judge Judy. His wife says "Honey, how was your first day?" | |
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| He says, "It was terrible! I had two obese Patties, special Bruce, and Lester Sleeze picking bunions on my Sesame Street Bus!" | |
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