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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

Has nobody got anything to say about it? Well, I do.

I thought that overall, it was pretty damn good. It had all the components of a good Star Wars film, great fight scenes, a nice amount of Dark Side stuff (which is what made Empire Strikes Back everyone's favourite) and finally, Hayden Christiansen died (kinda). But, of course, that isn't to say that the film didn't have some Lucas-cringe moments... upon which I shall elaborate.

First: poor old Christopher Lee! As if being cut out of Return of the King wasn't bad enough, Lucas drafts him back in for Star Wars III as Dooku, gives him one fight scene (which, let's face it, was mostly CGI and a stunt guy) and then kills him off just like that. Why didn't the guy say anything while he was kneeling on the floor awaiting certain death? Like "Hey Sidious, you arse! I'm on your side, remember?" Bit of a poor show there. Also, how does Obi Wan's leg magically heal after having an entire balcony fall on top of it? Answers on the back of a postcard.

Second: why does Palpatine shrivel up like an old prune just by using Dark Side lightning? Dooku used it in Attack of the Clones without any noticeable side effect, and presumably Palpatine must have at least practised using it himself before unleashing it on Samuel L?

Third: fair enough that Palpatine can make the clones do what he wants (they've been hardcoded to kill Jedi with that command 66 stuff) but how on earth does he convince the entire senate to give up its powers and turn the galactic republic into an empire with just one speech?

Palpatine: "Let's have an evil empire!"
Voice of the universe: "Oh, okay then!"

Fourth: why does Anakin execute a convoluted backwards somersault to clear a distance of about a metre? Surely it would've been easier on the legs to just walk across from his platform to the bank where Obi Wan was standing?

Fifth: OK, probably the biggest disappointment was Darth Vader. He gets all togged up in his suit, gives his first breath, so far so good. Then he does that appalling "NOooOoOOoOOOOoooOOO!" number and all is lost. Why, Lucas, why? He's Darth frickin' Vader, not Boris Karloff... One can only assume that twenty years of subsequent skulking around on star destroyers frightening the bejesus out of everyone toughens him up a bit.

Sixth: why was the ending so rushed? One of the things that this movie was meant to do was get us up to Episode 4, but really all the major plotting (Anakin becoming Vader, Luke and Leia's birth, the exiles of Obi Wan and Yoda, the instigation of the Death Star) happens in the last five minutes...

Overall, though, I did enjoy it - and I think this film alone can justify the making of the three prequels because it stands head and shoulders above the other two. Still doesn't attain that glory of the original three, but then we never really thought Lucas could achieve that again, did we?

5-20-05 6:22pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:


He didn't know they were the same person.


He shriveled up and died after having it reflected back at him.


I think this was reference to Empire when Luke gives a similar "NOOOO!" after finding out Vader is his father. Granted, it didn't work so well here and did seem out of character.

Just thought I'd, I dunno... answer those?

I also did enjoy it. Although I was hoping to be a little suprised by some things as I attempted to block out any information about the movie. Sadly, Lucas decided to show the whole movie in the second trailer.

---
Poop.

5-20-05 7:18pm (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

I really enjoyed it.

5-20-05 8:29pm (new)
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Brad
Feature Creep

Member Rated:

I enjoyed everything about the movie that wasn't totally stupid. Pretty much all the action was top notch and I even enjoyed most of the plot stuff and how it tied together with the original trilogy. The dialog was mostly boring and in spots terrible. What was with Padme dying of a broken heart or losing her will to live or some junk? That was probably the only moment in the movie that got a complete groan out of me. I lose my will to live all the time and I'm still livin'.

It was definitely the best of the new movies and had a lot of decent "ties it all together" moments. If the characters had been more interesting it could have been another Empire Strikes Back.

---
www.bradsucks.net

5-20-05 9:11pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

I guess it'd be better than:

"She's dying? Why?"

"Cancer."

"...oh."

---
Poop.

5-20-05 9:15pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

Wait, nevermind what I said. That would have been awesome!

---
Poop.

5-20-05 9:16pm (new)
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Inflatable_Man
Heart stopper. Hip hopper. Pill popper.

Member Rated:

I came in expecting slightly-better crap than Phantom Menace and AOTC, but this movie was pretty good. No, the dialogue won't win any academy awards and the CGI was still waaaaaaaaay over-used for my taste, but it was dark and serious, unlike the day-glo, candy-coated, Disney shit like 'Phantom' that pandered to 10 year olds. Instead we get to see Anikan kill those 10 year olds which was awesome! My only regret is that Jar-Jar didn't bite it. This movie is good, and if I'm saying it, it must be true, because I walked in that theater fully expecting to come out hating it. The only thing I really hated was Padme... Jesus Christ, I felt like clapping when she died. I've never seen such God-awful wooden acting in my life, and I suspect it's Lucas's direction to blame as much as her, because she was better in the 'Professional'... and she was 14 at the time! And yes, the CGI was markedly improved from the previous films, but some parts still looked video-gamey and fake... Yoda comes to mind. Also, Anakin's turn happened way too quick. But oh well. Lucas isn't known for his subtlety.

Now... let's talk about the people I had to breathe the same air as. The geeks and their fat girlfriends in the theater couldn't stop snorting, talking in their nasally voices and munching loudly on their popcorn treats form the lobbey. Some fat fucker next to me in a 70's Chewbacca shirt that reeked of BO was breathing in a labored fashion that would put Darth Vader to shame. He had like three tubs of popcorn to himself and two drinks (his fat was spilling into my seat) and he kept going off to the bathroom as a result. He would then waddle back in quickly 30 seconds later and ask me what he had missed and I would be like "dude! Nothing! Leave me alone!" but every time he came back... he would ASK! He couldn't take a fucking hint. But it's not like I can blame Lucas for that.

Besides all that, I liked it, which is something I never thought I would say about one of these prequels. Now, what the fuck is wrong with Lucas that he couldn't make Phantom and AOTC as good as this was? Maybe he wised up and got someone on board to help with the script. Or maybe he just got his "mojo" back in time for the grand finale. I don't know, don't care, but I liked it.

I would say it's my third favorite SW film, narrowly beating out 'Jedi.' Hopefully it holds up over time.

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

5-20-05 9:25pm (new)
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KungChiFu
L337 57ripX0r

Member Rated:

I went to a midnight show on Wednesday night (Thrusday morning) with my nephew.

I would agree that it was the best of the new ones, but further suggest it wasn't as good as any of the original three.

My favorite partof the evening, however, wasn't the movie... it was when a theater manager come out, just before the trailers rolled, and said "as a courtesey to others, please turn off your cell phones and light sabres."

KCF

---
Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

5-20-05 9:38pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

I remember friends dragging me to some movie back in 1977 or so. They said it had clear cut good and bad guys like the old westerns but it was in outer space - the future. I thought it dragged but had some good bar scenes and a couple moments near the end. The score was memorable.

And they kept coming out with the pigs! I hear they finally released the last one! I only went back to see a couple of the others (for free - company outings) but I don't think I'll check out the death blow.

At least it's over with.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

5-20-05 10:01pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:

The theater experience was not exactly wonderful. I enjoyed the movie a lot, even if it didn't really sound like James Earl Jones there at the end.

It was a great movie, at least compared to Episode 1 and 2. My problem was the idiots in the theater. Ladies and gentlemen, DON'T READ THE FUCKING SUBTITLES OUT LOUD. DON'T READ THE GODDAMNED INTRO OUT LOUD. Jesus fuck. Blah. I'll see it again when it hits DVD.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

5-20-05 11:12pm (new)
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Inflatable_Man
Heart stopper. Hip hopper. Pill popper.

Member Rated:

You're saying James Earl Jones doesn't sound like James Earl Jones?

Yeah... fat Chewbecca-looking bastard next to me was that guy who would say "Oh, I didn't see that coming!" (followed by a snort) or "I knew he was going to die! I knew it!" or just laugh at inappropriate times.

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

5-21-05 4:38am (new)
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andydougan
Film critic subordinaire

Member Rated:

I might see this later when all the geeks have stopped going. Maybe. Probably I'll be too busy having sex with supermodels.

5-21-05 6:09am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

I love the posting to a message board to complain about having to sit by nerds.

5-21-05 8:12am (new)
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not_Scyess
not laughing with you

Member Rated:

Exactly what I expected:

Special Effects: A+
Plot: D
Dialog: D-
Acting: F

I think it's also pretty fucking stupid that he has to tie in EVERY CHARACTER from the later episodes into the newer ones. Is it really necessary that Chewbacca have a cameo appearance? What the hell is that supposed to accomplish?

Also, if he'd replaced some of those action scenes with plot/character development, I might actually have been convinced Anakin would be tempted to join the dark side. As it was, the attude was obviously: "We know he's going, you know he's going... let's not prolong the stuff about how he gets there."

Finally, in the storyline there are more than fifteen years before the next episode. Why does the third episode have to end EXACTLY WHERE the fourth one picks up? Darth Vader is already mutilated, the Emperor is already in total control, the friggin' obnoxious British command ship generals are even there already! Is there nothing that happens in that 20-year span except for Luke to grow up to have a silly haircut?

But, even expecting all this, of course I saw it. And I'll probably see it again when it comes out on video. I am but a slave to the popular culture.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

5-21-05 10:31am (new)
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not_Scyess
not laughing with you

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And, by the way, it's your own fault for seeing the movie right when it comes out and the theaters are still packed. You're a total nimrod if you didn't expect a cult-following movie like this to have people too "enthusiastic" to shut up during a movie. You're lucky you didn't have a guy in a 7-foot-tall wookie costume sitting in front of you.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

5-21-05 10:33am (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

Not to give anything away, but how does Anakin manage not to BLEED TO DEATH when he is seriously wounded? I think after a wound like that you would bleed out in maybe, oh, a minute. Or are these the special Cut 'n Cauterize Light Sabers?

Overall, the movie was a vast improvement over the others. Great (and engaging) battle scenes at the beginning.

Natalie Portman gave her worst performance EVER. Ewan McGregor was actually quite good, and Hayden Christensen was not quite as wooden.

Lucas still can't plot for shit. It's a fun movie and lots of cool stuff happens, though. I'd like to see how these movies would have turned out if Lawrence Kasdan (Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark) wrote the screenplays.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

5-21-05 10:40am (new)
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CowTipper
Impressionable Adolescent

Member Rated:

I think the main problem with the dialogue was that there was no one with attitude to balance out the melodrama. This movie had nothing close to a Han Solo equivalent. Even someone with a Princess Leia type of attitude would have been nice.

But a lot of it was awesome.

---
I think, therefore I make comments on a forum.

5-21-05 11:31am (new)
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PhreakyChinchilla
DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

Member Rated:

Thanks to this thread I will wait until it comes out on tape.

---
dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

5-21-05 1:00pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:


Uhhh... yeah... something hot tends to do that.

---
Poop.

5-21-05 1:34pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

"Tape"?

BWAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

5-21-05 1:43pm (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

I'm pretty sure Lucas (or other people who've worked on various Star Wars movies) has mentioned many times how lightsabers cauterize wounds because of their heat. They cauterize as they slice, which is why NO ONE has bled when sliced by one. Not Jango Fett, not Luke himself, nobody.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

5-21-05 2:17pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

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Only time they did was in the first one when that pig faced dude got his arm cut off by Obi-Wan.

---
Poop.

5-21-05 2:57pm (new)
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allenhenderson
c:\games\Moria> moria.exe

Member Rated:

Revenge of the Sith was a very good visual movie, but the scene with Darth Vader screaming "NOOO!" just ruined any emotional involvement I was trying to imagine myself having with the storyline. I was trying to overlook the unbelievable dialogue and characters not having believable motives but that moment just wrecked the delusion for me.

I don't quite understand George Lucas not giving the audience the beneift of the doubt of having the common sense of a small child. Did anyone really wonder how Darth Vader would feel when he found out his wife was dead? Will he be happy? Will he be hungry? "NOOO!!!" Oh, he's not happy about his wife dying! He doesn't like it, I see. He could have just had him stand there and the audience would have understood what was going on inside of him.

This goes for a lot of the other dialogue moments: "Guess this is how democracy ends!" Hey no shit.

The characters I started to understand by episode 2 didn't make sense anymore. I don't believe Padime would just sit there while Palpatine delcared himself emperor. I don't believe Anakin would go murder children because Palpatine promised him he could never die if only he would kill children. I don't believe Yoda would say the word "wookie". It just doesn't seem right.

I felt I was in the weird situation of enjoying how a movie looked and hating it at the same time. The only scene I really enjoyed to the point I forgot I was watching a 100 million dollar student film was with Samuel L Jackson's character confronting the emperor. What I expected to be the best scene of the movie -Darth Vader being put in the suit- just went all to hell with Darth Vader screaming and thrashing around like Frankenstein's monster. I can only assume this was left in the movie because anyone screening it with George Lucas held in their laughter out of fear of him having them killed.

Am I the only one who feels this way? How could he screw up the most important scene of the movie?

---
www.allenhenderson.com

5-21-05 3:09pm (new)
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DragonXero
I'm Here, You're Queer, Get Used to it

Member Rated:


And, by the way, it's your own fault for seeing the movie right when it comes out and the theaters are still packed. You're a total nimrod if you didn't expect a cult-following movie like this to have people too "enthusiastic" to shut up during a movie. You're lucky you didn't have a guy in a 7-foot-tall wookie costume sitting in front of you.


Yes, how horribly stupid of me to not expect some idiot mother bringing her goddamn illiterate 6 year old to a PG-13 movie. There were plenty of freaks and geeks at the movie, and they were the ones being quiet throughout the movie. It was the dumbshits with kids that were making the noise.

And don't give me that "it's a kids movie" bullshit. Kids movies are rated G or PG.

When I went to see it, it was late in the day and the only cult fans that were there were either the ones not psychotic enough to wait four days in line or the ones who just like it enough to want to see it before every little fucking bit of it is leaked.

So it's my fault that people can't shut the hell up? I was pretty sure it was their fucking fault. Huh. Guess I'm oh so wrong.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

5-21-05 3:41pm (new)
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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

Yes. This was the problem I had. One kid in particular obviously had a bladder the size of a pea, since his father kept fireman's-lifting him out of the seat in front of me and taking him off to the toilets about every fifteen minutes. Thus, the scene of Anakin going into the Jedi temple to slice & dice the "younglings" did not fill me with the intended horror Lucas had in mind: it was actually mightily satisfying.

A question: is Anakin really Palpatine's son? In the Phantom Menace, it is made out that he has no father and that his mother just became pregnant, ala immaculate conception. But in Revenge of the Sith, Palpatine says that Darth Plagus had the power to create life by influencing mediclorians. Now, since we are led to believe that Palpatine is the apprentice who killed Plagus and inherited all his knowledge, is it an implict nod to the fact that Anakin was created by Palpatine?

5-21-05 4:47pm (new)
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