mysterious stranger by mandingo 7-19-05

wow, you scared those rustlers right off! so what's your name, stranger? my name. you want to know my name, do you? are you sure? mine's a well-known name. a powerful name a name that could send shockwaves through your body. yes, shockwaves. that's my name. my well known name. my well-known powerful name WHAT THE FUCK IS MY NAME???

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what if nigger meant kite

How I Spent My Summer Vacation (11) by choadwarrior 7-23-05

Many Americans have this idea that all Europeans are rude. I've never experienced it myself. But having travelled Europe with typical Americans, I can only conclude one reason why they would feel as if they were treated poorly... They deserved it.

Merrill Lynch

you seem like a nice guy so i'll level with you. you don't stand a chance. you have 13 stars on your helmut but i've got astronauts applying for this job with 25 and 30

by mandingo, 7-25-05

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what if nigger meant kite

We've all been there... by Smurph 7-01-05

Hey, you ever watch Thundercats? Yeah, man, that Cheetara was hot! I was thinking the same thing, then I realised it'd be like having sex with curtains. All velvety like. Hmm... And of course, you've gotta avoid the huge tagnuts. So no, she's not hot. Aww...

Public Service announcement#6: Give me my life back. by Smurph 6-28-05

Your call is important to us, it is in a queue, please stay on the line. This just in - Bastard. If my call is so Goddamn important to them, JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE!!!!! Hmm... Or employ more staff to cope with the extra demand at busy times, thereby eradicating ill feeling toward the company and providing better customer service. They're laughing at you really, though.

The reason the real cap'n birdseye was never casted. by Fuj 6-28-05

Take 1 Yaa harr!! my fuckin' fish fingers have no added artificial flavourings, colourings or dick all preservatives! ARRR! C U T ! ! ! what!? no, no that was great mr.Birdseye, really great. We just need you to drop the "potty mouth" mmkay? its "in character" yeah? but its not "p.c" ..... Take 2 Yaa harr! its ladies night in Capin Birdseyes trunk. Yee can suck me scrotes for 6 gold doubloons!! Yaahaar de harr harr!! also buy me feckin fish fingers! C U T ! !

Marvel vs. Crapcom

Stan Lee's less famous brother, Moe, creator of the world's largest superhero team, the Bombastic Billion. Damn, these panels take a long time to draw!

by Bargaintuan, 7-04-05

Cowboy Psychology by HCRoyall 7-27-05

...so I said "If, according to Jung's theories, those urges are psychological manifestations of my Shadow Self, it certainly sheds some light on the situation!" Ha ha! What the fuck are you talking about?

Cowboy Philosophy by HCRoyall 7-27-05

...so I said... Just stop right there. All you do is say something obscure, technical, and completely incomprehensible, and I laugh, then say "What the fuck are you talking about?" Haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than this? Something beyond our inane banter? Something more important? Something deeper and more rewarding? What the fuck are you talking about?

Cowboy Paranoia by HCRoyall 7-27-05

...so then I said "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha ha! You're plotting against me, aren't you? What the fuck are you talking about?

Cowboy Paraphenalia by HCRoyall 7-27-05

...so then I said "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha ha! Hehe... Heh... C'mon, man! Don't Bogart the bowl!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Consensus. by Norvillebarnes 7-26-05

This war is wrong. Dunbya's a moron! This war is right. President Bush is a hero! Conservatives are simple minded fools! Liberals are brainless commies! Joe Theismann suXors! I'd rather puncture my eardrums with a rusty nail than listen to him again. Yep.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Groovy! 508 by edoggydog 7-26-05

...and, that's when I decided to stop worrying about my weight, and just enjoy life! Groovy! I mean, who am I trying to fool? I'm never going to achieve the "waif" look anyway... True... Besides... My doctor says that I have the "fat genes", and there's nothing I can do about it... "Fat genes"? Looks like he's got the whole "fat ensemble"!

I'm submitting this one again.

The Legend Of Santa Claus by biped 12-23-04

Rudolph, with your nose so bright -- won't you guide my sleigh tonight? Ahh, go fuck yourself, Fatso. Wanna screw?

And this new one.

The DeBolts by biped 7-27-05

You will make a wonderful addition to our special "family", Schlutzy. Dorothy will be so thrilled to meet you. Oh, boy! Gee thanks, New Dad! Hi, New Mom! I'm -- YAAAAAAAAAA!!! FUCKITY FUCK-FUCK!!! OH, MY BLEEDING GOMPERS!!! KILL IT!!! KILL!!! KILL!!! KILL!!! Well, you were gone ten minutes. That's a new record. Yay...

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Groovy! 513 (RCL no. 82) by edoggydog 7-27-05

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Me love you long time! Groovy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Me sucky-sucky hard! No, seriously... I like my new, voice-activated Asian blow up doll. It's what I asked for... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You pay up now, Yank! Or, my brodda come chop off nuts! It's just that I wish you had me unwrap it in private, and not in front of the whole family, mom!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

foiled! by mandingo 7-26-05

i'll never find a babysitter in time! KNOCK KNOCK you should have planned ahead

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what if nigger meant kite

Cowboy Philosophy by HCRoyall 7-27-05

...so I said... Just stop right there. All you do is say something obscure, technical, and completely incomprehensible, and I laugh, then say "What the fuck are you talking about?" Haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than this? Something beyond our inane banter? Something more important? Something deeper and more rewarding? What the fuck are you talking about?

Cowboy Paranoia by HCRoyall 7-27-05

...so then I said "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha ha! You're plotting against me, aren't you? What the fuck are you talking about?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

didn't you already post those?

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what if nigger meant kite

So? They're worth repeating.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

your just trying to get laid by showing your avatar as often as possible

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what if nigger meant kite

And through semi-quality comics.

Cowboy Plagiarism: What if nigger meant rotor turbines? by HCRoyall 7-28-05

...so then I said "Those niggers aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha ha! You racist bastard!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

A fate worse than death? by Anome 7-28-05

Brains... So I just figured "Sod this for a lark" and that's how I got into tele-marketing.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

It Happens Every Christmas... by JohnnyBluejeans 7-28-05

I'm totally gonna fuck that tree. WHAT!? You heard me, tree! ...you heard me.

NOT MINE. thought i should point that out since it will probbly help its rating

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what if nigger meant kite

Perhaps my new favorite from mmyers...

Filing Clerk, VIP by mmyers 7-27-05

I'm waiting to order paper until we use all of the paper we have. Why are you doing that? So we can use all of the paper we have before it goes bad. Paper goes bad? How does paper go bad? After it's been sitting awhile, it starts to go bad. I think you waited too long to get any oxygen to your brain and inhaled some bad oxygen.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Family Time by Spankling 7-31-05

Son, we need to talk. If it's about sex mom and I already played that. I learned a lot! What? Oh forget that. I have something important to tell you. Okay dad. Shoot. You're gay. Uh... I think you better run this little theory of yours past mom.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Five Other Dwarves at McDonalds by kaufman 8-03-05

I'd like an undercooked Big Mac with moldy cheese, and squirt some special sauce on my shirt. Cheeseburger, fries and a NyQuil shake. 9-piece Chicken McNuggets, extra pepper, please. Quarter-pounder to go, in a paper bag that I can put on my head. I'd like a hamburger with a George W. Bush paper doll. So that's one Grumpy Meal, one Sleepy Meal, one Sneezy Meal, one Bashful Meal, and one Dopey Meal.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Ooey Gooey Newness

at the workplace by mandingo 8-06-05

an elephant sat on Joe and killed him! oh. "OH?" aren't you surprised! you kidding? they must weigh 2, 3 tons easy

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what if nigger meant kite

Johnny Neglect-O by biped 8-07-05

FUCKING FUNERALS! SHIT! Well, time to get DRUNK! But -- it was your MOM! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! Shuck them clothes off, baby! Let's FUCK! OMIGOD, where...where's the BABY? I left him with YOU! Heee-hehehehe-heeeeeeeeeee! Ma-ma? Da-da?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

No Good Deed is Left Unpunished by Splunge 7-08-05

Why the long face, sweetie? I signed up for the AIDS Walk. I met a guy there. We had sex. I caught AIDS! That's too bad. I guess I should take you off of the list for the Cancer Walk then?

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Bringing you comics, once a year. Whether you want them or not.

Triscuit Dilemma by cpausti 8-08-05

Hey! Hey, brought the sandwiches! Did you remember the hammer? You know, forgiveness is harder than it sounds.

holy crap!