I met Chris Matthews last year and was asked a question on Hardball.

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

quote:

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I used to shoot heroin with Ace Frehley. He used to say, "that's enough man, I've got a show to do tonight", but I'd always manage to talk him into riding that H-Train just one more stop.

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Dave Lombardo waved at me at the end of a Fantomas concert. I think he was drunk.

Also, I had sex with Kim Deal.

That would only be cool, possums, if you had sex with Kim AND Kelli Deal and got them to make out with each other.

Joey Ramone used to come into the Starbucks I worked at.

Debi Mazar ordered an Espresso Frappuccino from me at the same Starbucks.

Sarah Jessica Parker brushed by me as she shimmied to her cab on a sidewalk. I only realized who it was after she passed me and I stopped walking. I looked over at her, and as she got in the cab she looked me in the eyes and smiled.

I met Thora Birch at the Tribeca premier of "Slingshot", which was a shitty movie with great acting.

Also there was Julianna Marguiles, Matthew Modine (who wasn't in the movie, so I have no idea what the FUCK he was doing there), Joely Fisher, Balthazar Getty, and David Arquette. David Arquette seemed cool, but he was on his cell phone the whole time after the premier was over.

I had a couple of opportunities to get my ass kicked by Chuck Zito, from HBO's "Oz", as he came into a bar my friend's band played at a couple of times.

Met and thanked Janeane Garofalo for having the balls on TV to dissent when everybody else was waving a flag and saying America was right because America is the best.

Met and served David Cross with my material (mine and my writing partner's), and most likely pissed him off in the process.

Out of all of these, meeting Thora Birch was the one that sticks out the most, because I was completely flummoxed. The girl was beautiful and I was stupified.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I've met, Bridgit Fonda, BB King, Brian Adams (though he sucks) The band Tool...that's it i think, out of all of them Bridgit was the nicest and we had a good chat.

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I dumb :D

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I once shared a "moment" with Tatanka at a WWF wrestling event in the Kings Hall, Belfast.

It was deeply disturbing.

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While working as a hotel clerk, I was struck in the head by a telephone hefted by montrously overpaid actor Russell Crowe during one of his egomaniacal hissyfits.

Actually I wasn't, but somebody was -- I read about it in the newspaper today. I hope that clerk sues the stupid out of him.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Here is my friend, Dave, interviewing Weird Al. From what I heard, Al was definitely weird, but not in a wacky kind of way. He also didn't change that expression for the hour or so Dave was with him.

Dave has interviewed countless celebrities and musicians, including Brad of Bradsucks.

"Dave" is a fucking piece-of-shit cocksucking asshole.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

/me is jealous

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Poop.

Oh yeah, and I used to drink with Robby from the Goo Goo Dolls, but everybody who's been in a band in Buffalo in the past 20 years could say the same thing.

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I has a flavor!

Why hasn't mmyers posted here yet?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Once told Van Morrison to fuck off.

Also, I've seen jes naked. Hung like an amoeba.

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Once told Van Morrison to fuck off.

Also, I've seen jes naked. Hung like an amoeba.

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i meet a lot of hockey players like the goalie from NJ, martin b. patrick roy the goalie from CA and I got there autographs. Heres how I did it. I found out what hotel the team was staying at and on there way out a few people get ther graphs

"How did you get in here?"

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what if nigger meant kite

I worked for a guy who got his picture taken with Al Gore. Though I don't think Gore counts as a celebrity.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I once put petrol(gas, Unleaded fuel, Octane 96/97/98 Etc) in the car of that ugly bitch from Sex and the city. You know her, the one that looks like a horse and can't hold a cigarette for shit, nice rack though.

I also met Roy Keane and saw David Beckham's ankle.

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Poo perhaps?

I met Murdoch from the A-Team.

My dad was friends with a hall of famer and went to high school with the original Just for Gray guy.

And supposedly we're somehow related to Ulysses S. Grant though not through blood or blood money.

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what if nigger meant kite

It's impossible to get all the stupid out of Russell Crowe.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

quote:

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While working as a hotel clerk, I was struck in the head by a telephone hefted by montrously overpaid actor Russell Crowe during one of his egomaniacal hissyfits.

Actually I wasn't, but somebody was -- I read about it in the newspaper today.

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I feel like a goober saying who I've met but let's see.
All the guys on the Road Trip set (Tom Green, Brekin Myer, Todd Phillips,etc). That was cool. Sean William Scott is a cool ass guy. Very down to earth. That dark haired kid who is now on the Joey from Friends show is a douche bag. I ate lunch with him and he was very direspectful to the ladies at our table.

Had my hair done on set with Patrick Dempsey. He was very nice too. I didn't want to be a dumbass so I didn't really speak to him but then he struck up a conversation and was very pleasant. Then Candice Bergen had to have her hair done and we had to evacuate the trailer. I spoke to her outside and she was polite.

I sat beside Ernie Hudson at Rent. I got in for free because my friend stage manages it and he got in for free because, well, he's Ernie Hudson. He's buff in real life.

A girl I went to college with was the body double for Sharon Stone in the early 90s-mid 90s.

I'm friends with prowrestler Glacier, although I haven't spoken to him in a while because he's doing the Indiana Jones stunt show in Florida. He introduced me to a crap ton of wrestlers. The most surprising was Raven who was very polite and siad he wanted to do our wrestling show, although it never happened.

I'm friends/acquaintances with lots of the Adult Swim guys, does that count?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I couldn't resist.

[Click to view comic: 'Shallow Pool']

Although, if you know any of the people responsible for Venture Bros., please kiss them full on the mouth for me.

I just met Robert May, the man behind the voices of Rejected and other Don Herzfeldt cartoons.

You know, "MY ANUS IS BLEEEEDING!"