CC 299: The Direct Approach by kaufman 10-03-05

Let's be honest. I could woo you with that old National Lampoon "If flickguy doesn't pick me, this cat gets it" bit. But you'd probably like that. And I could pun every synonym of "choose" and every synonym of "me" listed in Roget's Thesaurus. Or, since my bonus points are going to charity, I could show you cherubic faces of soggy New Orleans children. But instead I thought I'd let my comics speak for tthemselves. Here's a random panel from a random comic of mine. How can you not vote me now?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 299: on the campaign trail... by mandingo 10-03-05

mandingo, what about reports that you've been firebombing the other candidate's homes, ensuring your victory through a horrible death toll. those reports are WILDLY accurate you mean wildly inaccurate? NEXT QUESTION!

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 299: on the campaign trail too... by mandingo 10-03-05

mandingo, what about reports that you use the word 'nigger' just to get a cheap laugh what if nigger meant next question? what? NIGGER!

CC 299 by mandingo 10-03-05

mandingo, what about reports that you are a lazy bastard? i'm not going to dignify that question with an affirmation but, mandingo, there are numerous reports of you shirking even the most simple of tasks name one! well, how about... NEXT QUESTION!

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 299: DIC: Campaignful

I support NeoVid for running CC 300, since I respect how he has never ripped off anyone else's ideas.

by NeoVid, 10-03-05

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

CC 299

Why I should host CC300.... I'm funnier than everyone else. Except biped. You know what, just let biped win. I don't even care if its funny or not. The man has earned the right!

by crabby, 10-03-05

CC 299: ROFLOOLLLLLL

Clearly I should be the host of the milestone competition, not because I've got that much history, or credibility... no... I've got something far greater.... 1337SPEAK ROFLOLOLOLOL

by TheBigJE, 10-03-05

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We built this siggy.... on rock and rooooooll

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-04-05

I have been accused of being anti-american and hating freedom. That simply isn't true. I am a sound supporter of the right to bear arms, the freedom of speech, and the freedom to make comics about robots with a penchant for ass rape. I am a man of the people. I grew up around people. I understand people. I don't judge people. Unless they're idiots, but that's a totally different story. My comic history clearly shows that the only thing I hate is the Army. And bltsandwich. But really, who doesn't?

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-04-05

Some of the older SC members are claiming that their veteran status gives them a better claim of eligibility to host CC 300. I say this is wrong. The veteran SC members have had their time in the sun. It's time for a fresh start, a new perspective. Much like the members of the Supreme Court, they must acknowledge when their time is over and step aside for the next wave. The old regime is over, and the new way of thinking is here. Clutching to your former glory only cheapens the foundations you have laid for us to build upon. Because like the Supreme Court Justices, you WILL be replaced eventually. And like the Supreme Court, there's only one way to be replaced unless you step down... I only threaten because I care. And that's what CC 300 needs: Someone who cares.

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-04-05

If chosen to host CC 300, I promise to uphold the time-honored Stripcreator tradition of babbling and silliness. If chosen, I promise an Asiangirl in every bedroom... Sucky Sucky! ...and a TOBOR in every ass! RAAR!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-04-05

My fellow Americans, if chosen to host CC 300, I promise to promote originality and pure, unadulterated humor. To those of you in other countries, this means I'm going to disqualify my idiot Yankee brethren so this contest will be worth participating in.

CC 299 by HCRoyall 10-04-05

Due to the rulles of CC 299, this will be my last broadcast to you, my fellow Stripcreators. I trust that the decision for the host of CC 300 will be made fairly and without bias, and I leave you with one final statement: Wirthling sucks.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 299: Nice Stump! by kaufman 10-04-05

I wanted to campaign for kaufman because he never goes for the cheap laugh. You'll never see anything even halfway lame in his comics. Excuse me, coming through. Take me now, Lord.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 299: Rabid Means Progress... and Terminal Disease! by Rabid_Weasle 10-04-05

Why should I be elected Host of CC 300? Well for one I have fought for an increase in social establishments! This has seen an exponetial increase in 'walks-into-a-bar' jokes. Bringing better education for our children characters! Showing an increase in biting political satire! And more bathrooms creating an increase in... uh... poop jokes....... Actually, sorry about that one...

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Poop.

CC299: The Strippergate Tapes by DexX 10-04-05

In a shocking development in our ongoing coverage of Comic Contest 299, hidden camera footage has been delivered to us, shedding light on some disturbingly underhanded back-room dealings. Now remember, when you start slinging the shit, I want it to look like an accident. I don't want anything to be traceable back to me. Got it? Ook.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Ooh! ooh! (or should that be "ook"?)

Pick me!

CC 299: I'm Jes' bananas about wanting to win

I'm glad I picked you - you're so ap-peel-ing.

by jes_lawson, 10-04-05

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

True Tales of BigEvilDan by BigEvilDan 10-04-05

BigEvilDan once saved a cat from a burning house. That cat later went on to manage the Beatles. It's an interesting look, but I think you may be a bit ahead of your time. BigEvilDan once left a cat in a burning building. That cat was Garfield. How do you feel about this Monday, bitch? Heh heh. BigEvilDan not only defeated Godzilla, he also got him a job and helped him become a productive member of society afterwards. My partner and I want to know why you haven't paid your Visa bill. Oh, uh... let me get my purse.

True Tales of BigEvilDan by BigEvilDan 10-04-05

When the criminal mastermind Paris Hilton conqured the world, BigEvilDan traveled back in time to stop her. One drop on the head should do it... BigEvilDan refuses to use smear tactics in his campaign. Not like the rest of those wife-beating baby-eating pig fuckers. Ever since BigEvilDan started using stripcreator, it has never been attacked by cybernetic weasles from the future. Thankfully they never found out about the robot monk-- what do you mean we're live?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Oh?

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Poop.

sixreasons by kaufman 10-04-05

Kaufman's comics no sucky-sucky! So I says, "Well, them other strippers ain't gonna generate CC 300 by themselves." Wehn kaufman runs a contset, he nales the fuckin bitch! As kaufman once told me, "Blessed is the me, for the me shall inherit CC 300." If he doesn't win, I'll cry. And scream. And accuse all you strippers of bad touch. And I'll take my ball and go home.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

True Tales of BigEvilDan by BigEvilDan 10-04-05

Last year, BigEvilDan won a battle of wits with Albert Einstien. No response, eh? Not so smug about your precious relativity now, are you Al? BigEvilDan understands Nature's Harmonious Time Cube. It's like a cube, only it's made of time. God himself couldn't think of a reason to dislike BigEvilDan. Who?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Oh?

Weasles. We're allowed one.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 299: The Late Great TUBBOY! by flipynif1 10-04-05

Hi, My name is Heywood Jaletmewin and... THIS IS YOUR STRIPCREATOR! First we'll go to the darkest depths of the internet to find this Stripcreator...Flipynif This place is desolate, you can hear strange metallic crunchin...OH MY GEE WHIZZING GOLLY DARNIT IT'S SALLY STRUTHERS! Yes Heywood, and for only the price as posting him as the winner of CC 300 you will save this man from posting himself as Tubboy for laughs. Moving along we can see blood drippi...OH MY GOLLY GOSH DING DONG, it's Flipynif!! Anything to say about the contest? Got any laxatives...oh and yellow food colouring?

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I dumb :D

314304[/comic]]

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing

Oh?

Weasles. We're allowed one.

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Poop.

CC 299: Stripcreator Character Endorsement #1 by biped 10-04-05

I certainly hope that nice biped gets to host CC#300. He's such a -- I SENTENCE YOU TO FIFTY YEARS IN BLONDE-O GRANDE !!! NO!!! NO!!! NOT BLONDE-O GRANDE!!! Duh duh DUUUUUHHH!!! HYEK HYEK HYEK!!! Fifty years later... Well? Who won? Hmm? Won what?

CC 299: Stripcreator Character Endorsement #2 by biped 10-04-05

Well, Brad? Who do YOU think should host CC#300? Oh, no question -- biped, of course! Heh, heh! God -- I feel so cheap. Brad? biped paid me five dollars. He said to show you a "good time." WHAT THE F -- !!! Well, shuck them drawers, sonny. I may not have all day.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 299: Gimme it, or she gimme you by flipynif1 10-04-05

Hi, I'm Sally Struthers here to talk about the less forunate and how you can help this poor soul. MR RIKEY YOU HELP ME SO HUNGRY! By just giving flipynif the win on CC 299 flipynif will give some happiness and joy to this little girls life with food and medicine for .02 cents a month! ME RIKEY YOU TWINKY, ME HAVE SOME? NO! *snarf snarf chomp chomp slobber* YOU BE SOLLY YOU NO GIVE FLIPYNIF WIN! ME RIKEY FLIPYNIF!

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I dumb :D

CC 299: If You Don't Vote For possums, You Vote For This... by possums 10-04-05

HELEOA MINGE I WAS WUNDEARING IF YAOEU CAN DO A TRIGE UPPERCUT LOL YES I CAN DO A TRIGE UPREPRUEAT DO YOU HAS A SHORYUKEN FAILGET ON LINE THREE EEENK EENK EEENK EEENK AE*(#^$(*!(#@*&$^!#$ Vote possums and I swear you'll never read another comic like this again. LIAR! THE NARRATOR'S A LIAR! PENICILLIN ONE TWO THREE GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG FOR MY COCK EAO*&#(*%&@#(*% BLACK PEOPLE #*%&(!#&% #!%*)&

CC 299: Other Reasons You Should Vote For Me by possums 10-04-05

possums. YES. Why should you be the host of CC 300? Because it's 300/666ths of the way to the number of the beast. Is that fuzzy math? Fuzzy like an owl cock.

CC 299: More Other Reasons You Should Vote For Me by possums 10-04-05

What are some other reasons we should vote for you? Well, let's be honest. I'm not very bright, attractive, or hygenic. But, you should at least check out my competition... Whea aheaneah gaha baaplaea eaoaheoueahg /Glaswegian are yuo reayd for rapes? What do you have that they don't? Coherence.

CC 299: Yet Even More Other Reasons You Should Vote For Me by possums 10-04-05

That about wraps up our interview, Mr. Possums. Unless of course you have a criminal record of some sort. Well, I didn't have a criminal record... ...but that was before I busted your sister's hymen and used the blood to fill a strawberry shortcake. Can someone get this girl a slice of that?

Ultimately I hope flickguy is choosing the winner based on funny rather than actual reasons presented.

This is pretty good shortcake, though...

314456[/comic]]

I'm soooooo sorry!

At least there have only been about 6 making-fun-of-flipynif comics made...lol

CC 299: RandomComicLayoutGuy Revamped. by flipynif1 10-04-05

Seriously, though... We should choose the subject for CC:300 because WE ROCK! And, everyone else BLOWS!! I said....EVERYONE ELSE BLOWS!! Get to it. I wonder if they make Girl Guide cookies out of Girl Guides?

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I dumb :D