i love these

Lest we forget ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I sum up my religious beliefs thusly:
Even if the God existed, which would have to be proven to me beyond scientifically, even if Jesus himself walked up to me and said, "I am your Saviour, take my Hand into the Future, lol," I would simply have to decline, based on either His folly in the Bible, or if the Bible was wrong then that's probably enough as well.

Not that anybody asked.

The Beard has spoken.

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8===D

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God is a kid with an ant farm. He built it, he put the people in, and now he just sits back and watches what happens. He has virtually no control over anything the inhabitants of his creation do, but he could destroy them all in a matter of moments.

*bows and quietly trots out*

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Wrong. We're a science experiment in a shoebox on his dresser. He takes the lid off every couple of hours, hence why we have "day". The stars are actually the light from his reading lamp shining through the airholes.

DexX brought up the point that God knows everything that will happen to us in our prospective lifetime. I go one step further to say that God knows every possible choice we could ever make in our life, and he's kicking back in his recliner with a brewski and watching us to see what choices we make on our own.

Evil exists because Good has no meaning without it. Hence the free will. What's the point of giving your creations free will if their only choices are exactly what you want them to do? Answer: There is no point. Without evil, we would have no concept of good, and vice versa. I'm not saying he likes the fact, but I see it as a form of Taxes. Government funding is great, but unless we pay taxes, there is no government funding.everything exists for a reason.

Personally, I think all religions are fundamentally the same. They all say "Don't kill each other, don't steal, don't fuck your buddy's wife. While you're at it, be nice to people who look and think differently than you." They all say to be a good person or you'll get fucked over when you die. The differences in each religion is a test God put out there to test us on how well we follow said rules, and we're failing, miserably.

Shoving your religion down someone's throat isn't going to convert them. Actually following the tenets of your religion and not being a fucking hypocrite will. Unless you're a Fundie or Islamofascist or whatever the proper term is for a zealot of your religion (Uberjew?) at which point you might as well throw yourself off a cliff. Make sure there are rocks at the bottom, because the rest of us don't want you to survive.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Good advice on any forum.

I see where you're coming from, but for the mostpart I always attribute "good" and "evil" to be mere dramatic terms on personally preferred subjective actions and feelings. BUT that's just me, and just sometimes.

I pretty much stick to the idea everybody's a fucking dumbass for attempting to add some Terran/mortal ideology to something as incredible as the universe, then state all religions hold but a grain of sand in from the beach that is the Truth, then count myself among them and continue to just live happily WITHOUT beating myself up for being myself.

^_^

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Don't like it? Eat me.

quote:

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quote:

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God is a kid with an ant farm. He built it, he put the people in, and now he just sits back and watches what happens. He has virtually no control over anything the inhabitants of his creation do, but he could destroy them all in a matter of moments.

*bows and quietly trots out*

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Wrong. We're a science experiment in a shoebox on his dresser. He takes the lid off every couple of hours, hence why we have "day". The stars are actually the light from his reading lamp shining through the airholes.

DexX brought up the point that God knows everything that will happen to us in our prospective lifetime. I go one step further to say that God knows every possible choice we could ever make in our life, and he's kicking back in his recliner with a brewski and watching us to see what choices we make on our own.

Evil exists because Good has no meaning without it. Hence the free will. What's the point of giving your creations free will if their only choices are exactly what you want them to do? Answer: There is no point. Without evil, we would have no concept of good, and vice versa. I'm not saying he likes the fact, but I see it as a form of Taxes. Government funding is great, but unless we pay taxes, there is no government funding.everything exists for a reason.

Personally, I think all religions are fundamentally the same. They all say "Don't kill each other, don't steal, don't fuck your buddy's wife. While you're at it, be nice to people who look and think differently than you." They all say to be a good person or you'll get fucked over when you die. The differences in each religion is a test God put out there to test us on how well we follow said rules, and we're failing, miserably.

Shoving your religion down someone's throat isn't going to convert them. Actually following the tenets of your religion and not being a fucking hypocrite will. Unless you're a Fundie or Islamofascist or whatever the proper term is for a zealot of your religion (Uberjew?) at which point you might as well throw yourself off a cliff. Make sure there are rocks at the bottom, because the rest of us don't want you to survive.

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Um...OK. Good job taking someone who just wanted to innocently put in their two cents and not mean anything by it and trying to prove them wrong, even though they weren't agreeing or disagreeing with everyone. Good. Just...good.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

quote:

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God is a kid with an ant farm. He built it, he put the people in, and now he just sits back and watches what happens. He has virtually no control over anything the inhabitants of his creation do, but he could destroy them all in a matter of moments.

*bows and quietly trots out*

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That's almost exactly what I believe. Though I believe he has the ability to change whatever he wants, he just doesn't, preferring to watch it all play out instead.

I mean, seriously, what fun is having your own reality if you know exactly what's going to happen? It's like he set up a physics model and set things into motion.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I know if I ever get a hankerin' to save some heathens, this is the first place I'm posting!

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What others say about boorite!

Actually, only the first aragrah was referring to you, Hari. Sorry I didn't clarify. My bad.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Because I'm a fucking idiot!

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What others say about boorite!

Because I'm a fucking idiot!

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You've got enough on your plate "saving" Ivy three or four times a day.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

"Oh God! Oh God! Yes! Yes! YES! Praise the Lord!"

Tell it, sister!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Chuck, you are a God. In fact, you are the only God apart from Squidrabies. I'm making you a shrine next to his.

As for Fundie 1, let's review the score.

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To LuckyGuess,

Boldness and free will is not evil the devil is.

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You just contradicted yourself. Niiiice.
One point for me.

I want you to watch sesame street sometime. There's an interseting part of the show called "One of these things is not like the other." It's highly entertaining. Yes, Christians are different than Atheists. But what does that prove? That you're... better? Superior to those without faith? That's not religion, that's being pompous. One point me.

I don't mean to eat Captain Crunch in the morning, I just do. Point to me.

I can't do better than Chuck on this one. Point to Chuck, which bycariously is a point to me.

Proof that Krazy Christians live under rocks. Point me.

Unless, of course, they happen to be gay. Or they don't love Jesus. Or they enjoy popsicles, gummy bears, rainbows, and Grand Theft Auto. Or they don't embrace wholesome family values. Or they support abortion. Or whatever. Point to me, again.

Well, if my math is correct, I win by six. Obviously my points are easier to combat, as they don't assault religion in itself, just the human aspect of it. Therefore, I look forward to playing again later. Probably this afternoon, by the look of things.

Cut and run, Godboy. Cut and run.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

[Click to view comic: 'God: Year One']
[Click to view comic: 'God: Year One']
I think if any of that Eden stuff happened (which it didn't), it was exactly like that. The Fall happened because God was bored with his creation.

[Click to view comic: 'God: Year One']
If there is a God (which there probably isn't), he didn't create us out of loneliness or love. If he had, he'd spend more time with us. Which he doesn't. Not that I blame him, because we suck. And don't give me any of that, "God is always with us" stuff. When I hang out with my friends, I'm not in the crawlspace eavesdropping. That's just creepy. The point here is, God would only have created us for entertainment value. Creating us is like, for God, deciding to get cable. The good cable, with HBO and the porn channel. And don't tell me God hangs out with everyone in heaven. If he doesn't here, he doesn't there. Why would anyone even want to hang out with him? What would you talk about?

ME: (uncomfortable silence, then) Oh, hey. Great job on pizza rolls. They're awesome.

HIM: Well, that wasn't really me. I mean, someone else thought it up.

ME: (pause) Yeah, but you made that guy. And you made all the indredients, am I right? Pizza rolls rule.

HIM: I created the earth and everything on it, but pizza rolls were a product of free will. I can't really take credit for that.

ME: (scratches head) Thanks for the awesome free will?

HIM: Whatever. I gotta go start a flood, see you around.

Squid, your arguments are irrelevant because you are, in fact, God.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Yes.

[Click to view comic: 'Free will-y']

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What others say about boorite!

Actually, only the first aragrah was referring to you, Hari. Sorry I didn't clarify. My bad.

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Oh. Well shit. Now I feel like a jackass. Sorry.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

With or without ketchup?

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What others say about boorite!

amen

:)

i take it a step farther though and apply it to atheists as well. truth is we DON'T know the first thing about whether there is a god. so those atheists that have doubts and those religious folk that have doubts are the most well adjusted imo. it's the fuckers that believe too strongly one way or the other that scare the shit out of me. you see it in the religious all the time, but you also see it in atheists.

that's why i liked the review of that Julia Sweeney tape and will probably check it out. it says it's "Not a diatribe against religion – for she is not an angry atheist crusader –- nor a rejection of Church, Letting Go is a window into a life examined that all but the most doctrinaire can appreciate."

that's the way to go. leave those zealot atheist and religious folk on the other side of the track, jack. realize that everyone is doing their best to make sense of this crazy situation we find ourselves in. and don't feel the need to tear down opposing opinions to validate your own

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what if nigger meant kite

I don't recall where I got this clip of text but it is a good illustration of faith vs. science.

>Evolution is a more scientific belief, but, being a theory, still requires some amount of faith.

It's not a "belief" in the sense that creationism is, and it requires no faith. You're right in calling it a scientific theory, and as such it requires doubt. Every proposition in science is subject to falsification. Certainty is flatly ruled out. A theory is only good insofar as it explains and predicts observable events and holds up under attempts to falsify it. Flawed or incomplete theories are eagerly amended or discarded in favor of better ones. Contrast with faith.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

And I think that right there is what my get under our new friend goofy's skin. The fact I'm not supporting anything in my arguments or saying my faith is better than his.

BTW, just for the record since no one commented...

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I pretty... ...then state all religions hold but a grain of sand in from the beach that is the Truth, then count myself among them...

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...that part of the post was a joke.

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Don't like it? Eat me.

Forgive the above post, twas a horrible rush on typing & editing on my part.

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Don't like it? Eat me.

The problem with people who believe isn't that they believe and want to make others believe, but that they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Such as the people who claim Hurricane Katrina was the wrath of God on Louisiana.

Well, if you fuckers would actually read your Bibles instead of thumping them like the hairless monkeys you are, you would know that God told Noah after the Flood that the next time he punished the Earth, it would be in a baptismal of Fire. Now, I don't know what sort of fucked u Webster's you guys are using, but last I checked, "wind and rain" is not the definition of "fire".

So STFU.

As for Chuckaduck and those people who don't believe, I believe that as long as you live a good life, you still get the afterlife equivalent of an all-expenses-paid vacation as a consolation prize. "Well, you aren't one of our lucky winners, but for being a good sport you get to have this." If you read Dante's inferno, you guys get Elysium, the level just below Purgatory; really nice, but still a few blocks down from Heaven. Kind of like Heaven being the nice condos by the beach, Purgatory is the upscale apartments a few blocks away, Elysium is the nice suburban neighborhood, and Hell is the Projects. Or vice versa, depending on your belief system.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Hey, whatever floats your "afterlife" boat. The thing is in all our years I haven't seen a shred of testable evidence that would cause there to be anything in the way of supporting evidence to justify any mystical part of any afterlife philosphy. The absolute only ones that would know are the dead ones, and they ain't talking. And I'm not referring to the one's that die and have hallucinations as their brain becomes inert.

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Don't like it? Eat me.