i like breasts by mattmallone 5-18-06

Mattmallones gay??? Todays news is: what is mattmallones sexuality? mmmm, i'd say he's a bummer, we asked some people on the street.. He..he..he made me take it up the arse!!! waaaaaaaa Case solved, turns out he was only a kiddy fiddler. in other breaking news, we ask, where is the middle of this desk? and coming up we talk to randomcomiclayout guys mum in a news at 10 special 'mothers with a penis'

Groovy! - mattmallone is spooge by edoggydog 5-18-06

It's not the heat I can't stand. It's the fucking HUMIDITY! Groovy! Meanwhile... Later, Bush admitted that we will all need to learn Spanish if the latest immigration bill goes into law. Cunt? Thanks, Cock. This just in: mattmallone is a cum-sucking, cock-blowing, ball-licking, ass-felching, Democrat-voting butt-wipe! ...and, that's why I let my girlfriend pee in my mouth. Ewww!

Groovy! - Shot my load with this one... by edoggydog 5-18-06

In a land, far, far away... What do you think of my new wallpaper? Groovy! Meanwhile, it's Kareoke Night down at Mulrooney's... ♫ Don't wish your girlfriend was [hic] drunk like me?♫ *BRAAAAAPPP* Meanwhile, back at make-a-comic central... Five dollah, SUCKY-SUCKY! My sister, she so PLUCKY!!

A Quick Brown Dog Jumped Over Vicente Fox by choadwarrior 5-18-06

President Bush announced today that he has a new plan to support Border Patrol agents along the southern border. Hey, Cheney--feel like goin' huntin' in Texas again? Only if I can shoot people in the face. In other news, the President's approval rating is proportionally higher now that there are fewer brown people.

CC 322: The Newscaster's Malady by biped 5-19-06

...and in other news: my butthole is really, really, really sore. Here with a live report inside Tim's butthole is our own "Chip" Squishy. Thanks, Sally! Well, I think I've discovered the problem, Tim--it looks like somebody left their car keys in here! Whew! I wondered what that jingling noise was. Ha, ha! Betcha thought it was Santa Claus.

CC 322: The Magician's Malady by biped 5-19-06

...the children were eaten alive. And now: "The Lighter Side"! It seems magician David Blaine is close to setting a new record-- Shut up, Tim, this is my story...setting a new record for living inside Tim's butthole. Here now with the latest is our own "Chip" Squishy. Chip? Thanks, Sally! David, you've spent over two weeks in Tim's butthole. What was the hardest thing you've had to endure so far? Well, Chip, it would have to be a toss-up between two things--dodging the big, black, knobby dildo, and the painful multiple gerbil bites. That does it! Get outta my butthole, Blaine! Tim, you signed a contract. Clam up and suck it in.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Unintelligent Life by HCRoyall 5-19-06

Breaking news! Aliens have landed downtown! Our own Mike Hunt is on the scene trying to communicate! After years of searching for intelligent life in the stars, you've landed on Earth! Please, share your wisdom with us! STFU n00b!!1! lol! rofl!1!!! Their language has scholars baffled as they try to translate.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

News by ArtemisStrong 5-20-06

"Hide The Salami". It's the newest fad to over-run college campuses. And it seems, if the elated smiles of coeds is proof, that it is the hottest past-time this year---

News by ArtemisStrong 5-20-06

News by ArtemisStrong 5-20-06

News by ArtemisStrong 5-20-06

News by ArtemisStrong 5-20-06

Whoa! Now that was what I'd call "taking a DUMP!" --but concerned parents dont find it so amusing. Stay tuned through the break to find out why.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

News gone to far by Redeye 5-20-06

Welcome to Channel three action news. Today on the show we make fun of niggers and grannies. Let go over to our illegal alien Roberto Sanchez. Yes I'm a wetback. Thank. Here I am with my G home dog Master P. How many white girls did you fuck today? Shut up you damn Cracker. Here I am with my Grandma Master G. How many white girls did you kill today? Shut up you damn Cracker.

Them news's by Humpenstein 5-20-06

In other news, the Avian Flu's origins have been traced back to the Jews. In a press release the president had this to say... Ein volk, ein reich, ein Führer! In other news the government has asked that all Jews report to the nearest "Happy Camp" for cleansing...

Groovy! - The Name of the Game is LAME! by edoggydog 5-19-06

You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up! Then, take a MAJOR dump, and call your general practitioner... Groovy! Later that day... Forget what that Mr. Chuhufukuhula said. Smoke some crack and jerk off all over the kittens! Groovy! Then, it got really lame... Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy! Groovy!

Groovy! - Gosh, do you think it will work? by edoggydog 5-20-06

[Based on an actual news report] Dude... I've just been contracted to make a public service announce-ment, to be aired in Iraq, encouraging sucide bombers to, you know, NOT be sucide bombers! Groovy! Karbala, six months later... ...so, in closing Mr. Terrorist, we plead with you to do the right thing. Think of the innocent women and children you may kill. Can't we all just get along? *sniff* Bagdad, the next day...

Tribute by crabby 5-20-06

A local man has been accused of being unfunny by other members of the community. We now go live to hear what he has to say. Groovy! Well, that just about sums it up.

hahahaha

Groovy! - I've got Crabs by edoggydog 5-21-06

...and then he unzipped and pee'd all over the reporters. In other news, controversy rocked CC: 322 yesterday. "A stripper named Crabby criticized fellow stripper edoggydog, claiming his comics are not funny..." Groovy! (Meanwhile, at Groovy! Productions...) edoggydog could not be reached for comment. *sniff*

JUDGEMENT

Well, it was a tough choosing between this one:

Unintelligent Life by HCRoyall 5-19-06

Breaking news! Aliens have landed downtown! Our own Mike Hunt is on the scene trying to communicate! After years of searching for intelligent life in the stars, you've landed on Earth! Please, share your wisdom with us! STFU n00b!!1! lol! rofl!1!!! Their language has scholars baffled as they try to translate.

...and this one.

CC 322: The Magician's Malady by biped 5-19-06

...the children were eaten alive. And now: "The Lighter Side"! It seems magician David Blaine is close to setting a new record-- Shut up, Tim, this is my story...setting a new record for living inside Tim's butthole. Here now with the latest is our own "Chip" Squishy. Chip? Thanks, Sally! David, you've spent over two weeks in Tim's butthole. What was the hardest thing you've had to endure so far? Well, Chip, it would have to be a toss-up between two things--dodging the big, black, knobby dildo, and the painful multiple gerbil bites. That does it! Get outta my butthole, Blaine! Tim, you signed a contract. Clam up and suck it in.

In the end, biped wins for making fun of David Blaine.

Congratulations, and have at it.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

As the girl in the David Blaine "Street Magic" special said, "I'm never forgonna get this day."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

So close, and yet so far.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.