The breakup by Injokester 8-15-05

I had to break up with my girlfriend. We were just too different. She said "tomato" I said "I hope you die, you filthy whoring meat sack." Things sort of escalated from there.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

I want a pistol, i want a gun by HotRodDeathToll 2-07-06

DAD! Yes, son? It's nearly easter you're going to have to buy me heaps of chocolate eggs. I'm sorry boy but were too poor to buy chocolate eggs for you this year We can only give you home-made, cream-filled chocolate eggs.

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

T #6 by T_man_20x6 4-05-04

If you say Back To The Future one more time, I'm gonna beat the living crap outta you.

The Squid and The Whale by LuckyGuess 2-07-06

Mom and dad are fighting a lot. I bet I got a better quote from them than you. Yesterday mom told me that dad was an unfeeling prick. Yesterday dad told me mom never wanted to have sex with him because he had a small, wrinkly penis. You win. No, Tommy. No I didn't.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

Here are a few from my alter-ego "edoggydog" I'm kinda proud of... (Don't ask me why!)

Groovy! 74 by edoggydog 3-08-05

Okay... I know my last few stories sucked ass! But, wait until you hear what happened to me yesterday... Groovy! I was down at the local Circuit City, picking up an extra set of digital Y-joints, when up walked towards me was the most beautiful fem-bot with a bra-size of 44 double-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...   ?   ...D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D--D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D... Damn! That did sound like a great story! I hate that his hard drive freezes whenever he gets excited...

Groovy! 75 by edoggydog 3-09-05

...D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D cup. Groovy! Uh... What was I talking about? You were telling me about that hot fem-bot you met a Circuit City... Oh, yeah... Man! She had the biggest pair of ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti... Here we go again...

Groovy! (Randumb Comic Layout no. 15) by edoggydog 5-04-05

Wow! Take a look at that stoopid sumbitch! Groovy! Should I..? Go for it dude! IF, YOU'RE GOING TO JUMP, THEN FUCKING JUMP ALREADY! JESUS H. CHRIST!! Feel better?

Groovy! 278 (RCL no. 22) by edoggydog 5-09-05

Hmmm... This says those who forget the past, are doomed to repeat it! Groovy! Hmmm... This says those who forget the past, are doomed to repeat it! Groovy! Hmmm... This says those who forget the past, are doomed to repeat it! Groovy!

Groovy! 86 by edoggydog 3-16-05

...so, I went and signed my soul over to that Satan dude. But, I ain't scared! I really don't believe there such a thing as the Devil, nor a place called Hell... Groovy!   ?   Uh... (heh, heh) Whoopsy! Hmmm... Maybe I should cancel my subscription to "Lucifer Monthly"...

President Dog by biped 2-11-06

This is the worst crisis in our nation's history! We need leadership -- please, PLEASE tell us what to do, President Dog! Woof! Woof! All he says is "woof, woof!" That...that's of no use to us whatsoever! I know. We're doomed...we're all fucking DOOMED unless President Dog acts NOW. He...he's peeing on my leg!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Was President Dog elected via Applause-O-Meter?

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Poop.

No, he was the Vice-President, and then the President resigned because his dad got a job somewhere else and they had to move.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Perhaps a bit predictable, but it was a strip waiting to happen.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

What can I say? Dick Cheney shooting people is my new muse.

I like this one even more than my first...

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

Cool -- just needs a little something "Ballad of Jed Clampett" -ish, and gratuitous referential humor.

Accidents Happen 3 (Nod to Inflatable_Man) by Namgubed 2-13-06

♫ Listen to my story 'bout a man named Dick, out huntin' with his friends, and the brush was really thick ... ♫ ** rustle ** The game's afoot! ♫ And just when he thought he was shootin' at some food, ♫ ♫ Out of the bushes fell this lawyer dude! ♫ Lawyer, that is - human scum. Insert generic lawyer epithet here. I am not an animal !! Sorry, but from a distance, you looked like Dan Quayle.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Happy Valentine's Day RedfeatheR!!! <3 (A TRUE STORY!!!) <3 by RedfeatheR 2-14-06

Hey Red. What did you do for Valentine's? I'm glad you asked Lizhard. I'm glad you asked I got my nuts lubed up for an ultrasound and fondled by two Navy chicks cos I complained about pain in my right testicle... and I'm in the middle of Iraq Goddamn... Highfive

Lifestyles of the rich and famous by Injokester 2-15-06

Before I got rich I used to rent out playstation games. Looking back I think that's rather pathetic. Now I rent women.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

Teen Troubles: Work by HotRodDeathToll 11-10-05

It sucks being a teenager. You have to go to school and listen to your parents. I can't wait until i get to leave school. Because then i'll have to go to work and listen to my boss.

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Vote Wolf by biped 2-21-06

Well, so far the election is running very smoothly. And voter turnout is fantastic. It certainly is! I only hope that nothing controversial or upsetting happens before-- Ha-HAAAA!!! It is I -- VOTE WOLF!!! NO!!! NO!!! NOT VOTE WOLF!!! OH MY GOD, HE REALLY DID IT -- HE VOTED!!! A WOLF VOTED IN THE ELECTION!!! CURSE YOU, VOTE WOLF!!! YOU'VE RUINED OUR ENTIRE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Really Wrong Trousers by biped 3-10-06

CLIFF! THIS IS YOUR POOPIES TALKING TO YOU FROM WAY UP INSIDE YOUR BUTT! HURRY UP AND POOP US, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! IT'S GETTIN' CROWDED IN HERE! OKAY! OKAY! GEEZ, THERE WAS A LINE A MILE LONG TO GET IN HERE! *FRRRRRRRRT!* Finally! Now we can begin our wonderful adventure through sewer-land! Yeah, and -- OH MY GOD!!! WE'RE IN HIS PANTS!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CHERRY DUST IN THE YEAR 3000 by crabby 12-25-01

What the fuck did you expect us to do after Christmas?

MY CHILDHOOD by crabby 12-05-01

Behold the demon spawn from which great power shall some day arise! Yeah he's 5 months now. So you say he has power huh? He is filled with the fury of the Dark Lord himself! He contains enough hell fire in his veins to feed a million hell fire hungry dragons for the rest of eternity! He made the cutest noise yesterday. That noise played backwards contains directions to HELL! The child will repeat the same noise on his 34 birthday! After which he will return home to HELL to take the throne from the Dark Lord! ok.

Laundry Love! 2 by crabby 2-08-04

So whats your name? Well the finger puppets name is Pablo but the man behind thepuppet is Kalebb. Can we concentrate on the puppet? Can I take you out to dinner? I really wanna go with you Pablo but what about this third wheel Kaleeb? Actually he's my.........body guard. I'm a world famous escape artist.

Charcoal by crabby 5-28-04

Good day maddam, my name is Charles and I am here today to talk to you about the wonders of charcoal. Do you currently own any charcoal ma'am? No, I can't say that I do. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT TO COOK! HOLY SHIT YOUR HUSBAND WILL DIVORCE YOU IF YOU CAN'T COOK! People just don't appreciate charcoal as much as they should.

Niagra Falls by crabby 8-25-04

So, this is Niagra Falls......Does it do anything? I don't think it does. I think it's just a giant waterfall. This is like the world's biggest wettest pussy! DUDE!!!!!!!!!

The Odd Couple - Starring Darius and Davros - Episode 5 by kramer_vs_kramer 2-22-02

So what did you get up to today, then? Well, I was filmed going around the shops, and then taken into a room and asked to give a commentary over the film. I see. Was it one of those 'a day in the life' - type shows? Not exactly... You got caught shoplifting again, didn't you?

The Crab Goes West by biped 3-21-06

Howdy, pardner! I'm Calamity Crab! So? You don't have any six guns or a horse or anything! So what's your fucking problem -- ASSHOLE!!! One quick, impersonal blowjob, please.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Sore Throat by areallystupidguy 2-16-06

damn... i have the worst sore throat you can possibly imagine. uh oh! is something going around? yeah, the sword-swallowing craze.

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It's grime time.

DOUBLE D by matclarke 3-23-06

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON DRINKING DURING THE WEEK? WELL, IT ALL STARTED AT DINNER LAST NIGHT. THE DRINKING? THE GENERAL DISREGARD AND DISDAIN FOR THE PEOPLE THAT WERE AROUND ME.

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obscenity filter is off

Injokester rules

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

Thanks Hotrod!

How it really happened by Injokester 3-29-06

Uh... Houston? We have a problem...

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.