I don't have an *intentional* levatation strip. This is the closest I ever came... I didn't even bother to mention the levetation bit, since I was too wrapped up in the 3rd panel action.

I've gone off the deep end folks... no question about it. by Drexle 8-08-01

I fröjdestinnad bunad Av fyra makters tid Där häilen ligger runad. Av skalder, störst är nordan Och aldrig läggs den nid En konungslig fullbordan What are you doing, Gabe? What the hell lenguage is that? *Ominous Humming* It's Swedish. I'm casting a spell that will rend asunder the fabric of space.... *Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm* I fröjdestinnad bunad Av fyra makters tid Där häilen ligger runad. Av skalder, störst är nordan Och aldrig läggs den nid En konungslig fullbordan Dammit, all you 've done is tear asunder the fabric of the bench!

Look! I did it on purpose! by DexX 1-13-01

An introduction to transcendental meditation, an ancient mystical method for attaining an enlightened state of consciousness, opening doors to amazing powers, such as levitation... What the hell is all that bullshit in the narration about? Simple. The art of Zen meditation allows you to pass your conscious mind beyond the perceptual limits imposed upon us by this world, including gravity. Simply put, gravity no longer applies to you. What a load of.... Agh! Get me down! get me down! Returning to earth requires a reversal of the meditation process, allowing the mind to be distracted by trivial, earthly, and mudane matters. Such as...? A few minutes of The Shopping Channel usually does the trick.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Decided to dredge this thread up after I came to the site today, and this was the first one that came up:

Dress rehearsal by DexX 1-08-01

...so I will say something about myself... Like what? Oh, you know... something I did today, or something in the news... ...and then I make some kind of smartarse comment. Is that right? Wait on... has the strip started already? Ha! if I could walk like that, I wouldn't be here buying cheese! How was that?

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

This has become one of my two general purpose punchlines, alongside "...and then the Rabbi said, `No, I don't smoke!'"

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

AFter going off to do other things, I came back to SC.com and found this gem on the front page:

Desperation sets in by boorite 3-15-01

Hey, Big J! Let's rub ourselves with Mazola and do each other up the ass! Behold, I come quickly. Haw! But seriously, can my hideous Elder God lover-thing join in? I shall fist thee up to my wristwatch. Are you sure this will get us into the top 10? Squeal like a pig, boy.

I voted for it, on the off chance that voting is ever reinstated, and got this classic:

Minimalism by monkey_bat 1-08-01

too lazy to change any of the initial settings? yup.

The next one I got wasn't in English, so obviously my brief charm had ended.

Oh well, at least I got a chance to be reminded of those immortal words: "I shall fist thee up to my wristwatch."

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

These days I give 10s to nearly anything I find funny on the front page, just on that off-chance. One day not too long ago I got two wirthling-bashing comics in a row. Only one was by Gabe; I forget who did the other.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Where is mine? by kutushitanoana 11-04-01

‚¨‚ê‚Ì”n‚Ç‚±H ‚¨‚ç‚Ì”n‚Ç‚±‚³H ‚¨‚êƒJƒEƒ{[ƒC‚Ȃ̂ɁB ‚¨‚ç‚àƒJƒEƒ{[ƒC‚Ȃ̂ɁB ‹¶‹•aEEE ”nEEE ‹EEE

Ha, ha!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

What the fuck is that talking about?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

the birds and the bees by outre 7-06-01

mommy, i have a question. what is it? where do babies come from? hell.

One of the funniest random comics I've seen in a while. The rest of their comics are pretty good too.

I ran into this one today...

Kolle's Disorders by Illusionist 2-09-01

Kolle suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. I think I might have left the oven on. Shit. Did I leave the oven on? I think I left the oven on. Do you want to go back and check? Fortunately, it's pretty much cancelled out by her attention deficit disorder. Meh.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

the crocodile hunter by outre 7-08-01

here we are, in the wild outback, stalking the elusive Central Park Bench Squirrel. i'm steve irwin, crocodile hunter. this wild and HIGHLY tempermantal beast is rumored to carry every disease from rabies to syphilis. join me as i put him in my pants, and attempt to hit him with an aluminum bat.

It's funny how a lot of good comics are by people who were only on the site for a week, in this guy/girl's case, 3 days!

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Dad was flammable

Two good ones in one day. Wow...

The benefits are great, but the hours'll kill ya. by jeffb 6-01-01

Have you heard about the new benefits package ? No, are the suits trying to stiff us again? No, not at all, the inusrance rates are super low, and we're getting optical coverage now. Get it? Stiff us?

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Got this one on the front page this evening...

Bills Don't Pay Themselves by Mutha 5-22-01

Dear sir, This is to inform you that your ADSL will be disconnected at the end of this month if full payment is not received Dear Sir, This is to inform you that your TV cable will be disconnected at the end of this month if full payment is not received ...you do love me don't you?

...and decided to give Mutha's comics a go. The first handful are pretty awful - far too many spontaneous combustions for my liking - but then I read this one, which I consider to be a classic...

One Upset Chicken by Mutha 5-22-01

Cheer up...it's not the end of the world You'll lay another one tomorrow I was in the mood for an omlette...I didn't know you'd already named it

Still reading Mutha's strips...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I almost passed this one without reading it.

Games Girls Play at Clubs...Or, Why Clubbing is Hell by norielX 6-03-01

After serious flirting, Roger decides to make his move... Hey, uh, after all the times you've grabbed my ass and bit my neck, did you want to dance? Oh, wow, um, actually, (hee hee, I love this part) I'm uh, actually here with someone... Oh, really? Who's that? HER NON-DANCING BOYFRIEND WHO'S HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK AND IS ITCHING TO KICK THE ASS OF ANYONE MY GIRL FLIRTS WITH!!! NOW I MUST TURN YOUR SCROTUM INTO A BOWTIE! Roger lies in a pool of blood, alcohol, and cigarette butts, as the trap is set again... I'll grab this one's crotch, but make sure you get here faster! That last one actually talked to me! Okay, okay, I'll just go to the bar and have some more tequilla shots...

Tobor?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Hey, look who came back for a day and made some comics without saying "Hi!"

A Simple Question by Dr._Light 1-15-02

Hey...WHO'S DA MAN?!?! The third guy from the left over there, wearing the red T-shirt. Thanks.

THE WAY WITH THE RAG IS A LAY IN THE BAG

Or whatever his catchphrase was.

Attack of the Heads by beily 2-22-02

I am Spikey Head. I poke people with my groovy hair. No, I am Spikey Head. I hit you with my head! Why do you hate me so? I don't. Let's make sweet spikey head love. Your big head is hurting me! Stop this head rape! Ackeeeee! (head loving making noises)

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What others say about boorite!

Feet For Ears by coolison 4-27-01

Feet For Ears... Shit for brains...

Instant classic.

Out of Ideas by gabe_billings 3-07-02

Is that the list of unused comic ideas? Yeah, it's getting pretty slim. The only things we haven't made fun of are Carol Channing, the Hubble telescope and yarn. That's pretty slim pickings. I'm not sure I can work with that. What's it say about wirthling? You've pretty much beaten that one into the ground. You know, he su... Shut it.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Done.

The End by kaufman 3-07-02

Yesterday on the Space Shuttle: We've got a problem. Lt. Baker traded in the new Hubble Telescope lens for a ham sandwich. If NASA finds out, we'll be toast. Let's just see what we have on board and install that. Here we go ... all we've got is a ball of yarn and some Elmer's Glue. It'll have to do. Go make the best lens you can, and put it on! A few weeks later at JPL: My god! That nebula looks like Carol Channing!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Something is wrong with me, because I laughed at this.

SEEDBLOWER by redbrute 5-21-01

We join our 6 six legged friend after having slammed the door on a Jehovahs Witness...... What the fuck are you doing still here? I thought I told you to go fuck yer mother? I'm just saying that perhaps you should consider a leap of faith and embrace God. Oh Lord! The sacrelige! God can fucking drink me off!! What would you 'consider' about that you fucking great balloon head? You DISGUSTING little rat fucker! FUCKING BRUTAL!!!! NOT INTERESTED! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF!FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! I will sever your bollocks and feed them to a dog you unruly, hard shelled cunt.

All this guy's comics are like this, and I laughed at all of them.

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What others say about boorite!

I didn't find this at random. I realised tonight that I have never read kaufman's early work, so I started from his first and started reading through. He has one of the funniest first-days I have ever seen. This one made my stomach muscles hurt from laughter...

Nightmare on Barnum St. by kaufman 5-15-01

Can't sleep! Clowns'll wreck the background! Can't sleep! Clowns'll wreck the background! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

He truly is a magnificent bastard!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Just ran across this one...

In Space by AHX 1-17-01

Where the hell are we now? My spaceship. Like it? It's pretty sweet. What's the heart-shaped bed for? Ah! That is where you I and shall have "hot monkey love" as you earthlings call it. How? You don't even have a wang. Shut up and get naked.

This guy did one series, and sadly disappeared.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet