More about me because I'm so interesting:

1. I hate germs so I get really mad when people drink from the carton/bottle.

2. That stupid Old Navy commercial where those cunts sing re-written christmas carols REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pisses me off!!!!!!

3. I write full songs in my head while I'm walking or just watching tv.

4. I hung out with some kid this summer, but his mother didn't want me around him because she thought I was a gay child molester because she said it looked like I plucked my eye brows (and I don't)

5. I write full comic books about a super hero named Dick Head who has a penis for a head and balls for legs.

6. I am a vegetarian but I hate other vegetarians.

7. I rap at my school's coffee house for fun under the name JD Fresh.

8. If I had to have sex with any man, it would be John Mayor.

9. I probably hate the things you like.

10. I pinch the flesh on the middle of my index finger out of habit and it sometimes gets all hard and crusty and it hurts alot.

Ten More Things You Probably Never Wanted to Know About MikeyG:

11) I'm totally in love with PhreakyChinchilla
12) I got caught screwing in my car by the cops, who shined a light on us and patiently waited for us to get dressed, then just told us to leave the area with their bullhorn.
13) That same night, was patted down in another area by a plainclothes cop and nearly got into a fight with him.
14) Once took a bonghit after not smoking for about two months and fainted in a hallway.
15) Once mouthed the words "You're perfect" to a stripper while she was on stage and she mouthed "I'll remember YOU" back to me. Several minutes later she got off stage to come find me and I left the club.
16) Almost got caught stealing a couple of DVDs from Best Buy while I worked there, because I hated that fucking company with a passion. The next day, I left my keys to the digital camera section with the cellular guy and walked off the job.
17) Got into a fistfight (he swung first) with my best friend's cousin over a misunderstainding about Pizza Rolls. I threw him across the room into his stereo and my best friend punched me in the neck. He hadn't realized what was going on, he just reacted because his family was being attacked. He later apologized. The punch did absolutely nothing to me.
18) While working at a Barnes & Noble cafe, an angry, irrational customer crossed the line and came behind the counter and put his hands on me. I threw him into the kids' section, quite literally. I got in no trouble whatsoever, but the manager gave the guy two free Cappuccinos.
19) Am extremely susceptible to "Buffalo Sting".
20) I rarely drink and haven't touched any "illegal" drugs in about five years.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

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8. If I had to have sex with any man, it would be John Mayor.

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7. I rap at my school's coffee house for fun under the name JD Fresh.

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I don't believe so.

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Ten More Things You Probably Never Wanted to Know About MikeyG:

12) I got caught screwing in my car by the cops, who shined a light on us and patiently waited for us to get dressed, then just told us to leave the area with their bullhorn.

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1. I will be 37 years young this coming May.
2. I have 2 sons, one who will be a teenager next year.
3. I've never been in a fistfight.
4. I've only been to one concert in the last 10 years, after going to what seemed like a zillion shows in the 80s and early 90s.
5. I'm getting married to another SC user in April.
6. I met Bob Lurtsema of the Minnesota Vikings when I was 10 at a snowmobile race that my dad let me skip out of school for. I was a Vikings fan back then and had on my Vikings hat, so he came up to me and thanked me for supporting the team, then he gave me his purple and gold Vikings scarf. The scarf is still at my mother's house, in the basement next to the old Atari 2600.
7. I've had many trips to the hospital, with the major ones being a fractured leg (from a hard slide into 3rd while playing softball), a torn ACL, and an appendectomy.
8. I like sports, but I'm a geek at heart.
9. I'm quiet and shy most of the time, unless I'm drunk...then I won't shut up.
10. I had a really bad mullet in the 80's. And no, you cannot see pictures of it. It's embarrassing.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

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10. I had a really bad mullet in the 80's. And no, you cannot see pictures of it. It's embarrassing.

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5. I'm getting married to another SC user in April.

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Doesn't count if you knew her, I mean.

Not even preview saved that one.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Hah... congrats niteowl (re: no 5, natch)!

Can I be the obligatory drunken, embarrasing, distant relative who crashes the wedding? :-)

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

I wanna be the gross uncle that leers at the young girls while his fat gut pops out over his dirty pants and is three sheets to the wind when he GETS there.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

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5. I'm getting married to another SC user in April.

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niteowl, you should get your kids on SC under the name "seed_of_niteowl"

No way man.
Aw hell. Does that mean my marriage doesn't count at all? ;)
Thanks. :) I almost thought you were congratulating me on #10.
You just described how I envision my co-workers acting at the wedding.
And Mikey just described how I'll act on my wedding day...minus the young girl leering. I don't want to risk getting bitchslapped in front of the whole family.
Sorry boinks...I meant to point the link to boinky22's comics.
Hah...I'm sure their comics would put mine to shame.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

1. I like prawn cocktail crisps.
2. For my thirty-sixth birthday my nephew gave me a geep.
3. I'ma tear the roof off the mutha.
4. My favourite song is The Boxer.
5. I was born to a trapeze artist and a horse.
6. This sentence is false.
7. In the mid-17th century I worked as a sherpa for ten minutes.
8. You suck.
9. Sometimes, in the twilit purgatory between sleep and waking, I'm beset by nameless terrors. For what are the labours of man which are doomed to recede into the darkened epochs whence they arose? Why do we struggle through an existence that is one part happiness, ten parts sorrow and a hundred parts mediocrity? But then the feeling subsides, and once again I stumble into the grey-tinged day, a blind man thrust into this vale of tears without bearing or compass.
10. I have a bit of a cold.

Hey, so do I! I discovered them during my honeymoon in London. Every time someone I know goes to England, I try to get them to smuggle me back a crapload of 'em.

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I has a flavor!

I demand to see the mullet.

Hey, so do I! I discovered them during my honeymoon in London. Every time someone I know goes to England, I try to get them to smuggle me back a crapload of 'em.

Those were my favourite of the 'odd' flavours when I was out there. My friends all thought I was weird, but I snubbed them with an empty bag of crisps and a semi-full belly.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

You can't because...uh, I don't have a pic of it online.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

You too? Holy shit -- what are the odds?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Hey, so do I! I discovered them during my honeymoon in London. Every time someone I know goes to England, I try to get them to smuggle me back a crapload of 'em.

Check the Asian markets in your area (there's gotta be one somewhere). They have all sorts of prawn flavored and flavoured delights. Also, lots of Engrish on the packaging.

1. I prefer Tanguray to Bombay.

2. Several strangers have described me as "yummy."

3. I could eat nothing but Mexican food for the rest of my life and never get tired of it.

4. I place no sentimental value on greeting cards and throw them away as soon as I read them.

5. In related news, when I took the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, I scored 0 in the Feeling category.

6. I went to a Christian elementary school to avoid L.A. Unified's forced desegregation. In sixth grade, I lied about my personal relationship with Jesus Christ in order to get into a Baptist junior high school. Luckily, my dad got transferred to another state with good public schools and no busing, so I didn't have to go.

7. For some reason, I'll watch Endless Summer every time it's on cable, even though I've never surfed.

8. I've never colored or highlighted my hair.

9. I never cook meat at home.

10. I own two handguns--just for fun. They stay locked and unloaded, so if anyone ever broke in during the middle of the night, it would be easier for me to run screaming like a girl down the street instead of trying to get to them and use them.