So you should have asked for your warriors to be brought back to life in complete health. Or just "restored to complete health", which necessarily involves being brought back to life part. Right?

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC 171: Free Will And Testament by Bargaintuan 2-20-03

Magical Genie of the Lamp, I wish that the entire world would be at peace. That's a tough one. As long as there are people with free will, there can never be peace. Got it.

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

CC 171: Make a Wish by Bargaintuan 2-20-03

I am the Genie of the Lamp! I have been imprisoned in this lamp for a thousand years. For releasing me, you get three wishes, but first... Ah, that's better! Now, what's your first wish? I wish my anus wasn't bleeding.

Comic #100! Woo hoo!

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

So you should have asked for your warriors to be brought back to life in complete health. Or just "restored to complete health", which necessarily involves being brought back to life part. Right?

Goddamnit. I'm calling an emergency meeting of the Warriors of the Peace.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

This seems to be a popular contest.

The P.I.G. and The Little Girl by umfumdisi 2-20-03

Greetings, little one, I am the Permanently Invisible Genieswine. Oh, you're a PIG!?! Exactly--a non-opaque, wish-granting, cloven-hoofed PIG. Are you Kosher? No--ha, ha, ha. You are so cute and clever! I hereby grant you one WISH. Thanks. I wish people would use me more on stripcreator!

Maybe ladyj.net should have wished for the Golden State Warriors.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 171: When you wish upon a (Ziggy) Star(dust) by jes_lawson 2-20-03

Ah! Thankyou for freeing Jean Genie from that enchanted Bowie album! I will grant you one wish! Peace in the Middle East! Look lady, Jean Genie has transgendered magic pop powers but cannot work miracles, OK? How about something realisitc, eh? OK, I want a caring sensitive man who really understands me and is amazing in bed! Lemme just tune this magic guitar up...OK! Ground Control to A. Sharon. | Ground Control to A. Sharon... |0 "Check Ignition, and pull tanks out of Heb-ron! "0|

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

So you should have asked for your warriors to be brought back to life in complete health. Or just "restored to complete health", which necessarily involves being brought back to life part. Right?

Goddamnit. I'm calling an emergency meeting of the Warriors of the Peace.

And I should have worded it, "I wish I was an infinitely powerful, omniscient immortal."

Of course, then your DM would have turned me into an infinitely powerful.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

quote:

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quote:

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And I should have worded it, "I wish I was an infinitely powerful, omniscient immortal."

Of course, then your DM would have turned me into an infinitely powerful.

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Being an "infinitley powerful." would let you put a "stop" to anything :-)

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

The Mormons were not amused by ahrange 2-20-03

*spooky mystical chicken voice* Jesus, I am the magically levitating stool chicken! I will grant you three wishes. . . because I can. Cool. I wish then that I wasn't nailed up to this stupid cross anymore. Loompa oompa! I should have known. Ow.

The Mormons were not amused, Part II by ahrange 2-20-03

That was one wish. You have two more left. Ok then, I want a ho. A Jewish ho. No, you know what? I wish for the best Jewish ho that ever lived! Loompa oompa! That wasn't exactly what I meant. Oy bubeleh, I'm going to spice you up like you've never seen. And you better pay, you shmuck!

The Mormons were not amused, Part III by ahrange 2-20-03

One more wish. You stupid chicken! You've ruined my last two wishes! Damn your taking things literally! Loompa oompa! I wish. . . for a BLT. Let's see you screw that up! Jesus, bacon's not kosher! I don't care if you're Mr.-Start-My-Own-Religion, in this house, we don't eat pork! And another thing, when are you going to bring home a nice girl to give me grandchildren? Myself, my mom's always on my case.

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Even Bob Hope is more punk than me.

CC1837: 6 BEERS AND A GENIE by Mako_Man 2-20-03

6 BEERS AND A GENIE ....I wish....to be turned into a woman! ....done... shit

Unwilling Genie 2 by Mako_Man 2-20-03

I wish to be more powerful than you! ... Fuck you!

Unwilling Genie by Mako_Man 2-20-03

I wish for... Fuck you!

I figure the more crappy ones I spit out, the better chance I have of winning... right?

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Once upon a time, one guy said "Dude!" His friend, shocked by this remark, replied "Dude!" Thus began my meaningless comics...

Eat, Drink And Be Wary. by ArtemisStrong 2-20-03

Cthulu, you have such amazing powers! Could you use them to grant me my life's one wish: The Greatest Sandwich In The World? Sure, 'kay. *Chanting: (rizzle-drizzle-frizzle-dizzle, sandwich so good, it's the shizzle) OHHH! A bread-bacon-bacon-potato scone-egg-potato scone-bacon-bacon-bread sandwich! Go 'head, eat it. MMMM... so good, so good. It tastes like- GAHHH! (DIES!!!) CTHULUED!!!!

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

3 Wishes by alexpnd 2-20-03

3 wishes Make my peepee small! Uh....ok HEE HEE!!! Now make my peepee really BIG!!! ...alrite... HEE HEE HEE~!!!!! Now I want boobies! Holy shit! YOU ARE A TWISTED MAN!!

first comic in a while

CC 171: Poorly worded wishes by Devin 2-20-03

You have freed me, the Genie of the Lamp, and in return I shall grant you a wish! Alright! I wish I wasn't a virgin anymore! Er, this wasn't the way I wanted to lose my virgnity... Less talk, more Vasoline.

Will also be finishing up my series shortly.

CC 171: The old joke (25) by Devin 2-18-03

Wait a minute, child support? I don't have any children. You suck, Dad! No wonder Mom left you! What a brat. And I didn't even get the night of hot sex to make up for it.

CC 171: The old joke (26) by Devin 2-18-03

You can't beat me! Ready to call it quits? I still have one trump card up my sleeve! Oh really? I didn't want to resort to this, but... I wish... that you'll suck me off! Heh heh heh heh, granted. W-w-why are you looking at me with that glint in your eye? I-I take back my wish! Keep away from me, KEEP AWAY!!!

CC 171: The old joke (27) by Devin 2-18-03

I wish for you to kick my ass! Let's see you screw THAT wish up! I guess you got me there. That's one wish that I WON'T screw up. Oh sh--

CC 171: The old joke (28) by Devin 2-20-03

This time you'll HAVE to grant me my wish, because I'll be making selfless wishes! I wish for world peace! Okay, here you go. Er, a plate of peas? WHIRLED peas!

CC 171: The old joke (29) by Devin 2-20-03

You're losing your touch, genie. You couldn't manage to make my wish go horribly wrong! What the, how'd these peas stick onto my face? OH MY GOD, THEY'RE EATING MY FLESH! GET OFF OF ME, GET OFF OF ME!!!

[Click to view comic: 'CC 171: The old joke (30)']

CC 171: The old joke (31) by Devin 2-20-03

Alright, now that's low. I wish this boy to be big and strong and you screw him over. I'M the one you want! Making this poor boy suffer isn't going to help in your revenge against me! *CRUNCH CRUNCH*

CC 171: The old joke (32) by Devin 2-20-03

Please, no more, I give up! I wish that you were free! Free? What do you mean, "free?" Like "sucky sucky zero dollar" free? What kind of genie do you think I am?! But, but I'm trying to let you go-- You're asking for it, aren't you? I'd start wishing with one eye open if I were you. B-b-but...

CC 171: The old joke (33) by Devin 2-20-03

Look, let me clarify: I wish that I never had any wishes. Okay, but I can't grant that because if you never had any wishes, you wouldn't have been able to make the one wishing that you never had any wishes. Why are you being such an ass about this?

CC 171: The old joke (34) by Devin 2-21-03

Mwahahaha, I'll never let you go, jack, I'll never let you go! Imagine, a man who has all his wishes fulfilled but never gets what he desires! Oh, the irony is so delicious! Argh, I'll never make a wish again! Please, just... leave me alone! Never! Now get back here and make another wish! NO!!!

CC 171: The old joke (35) by Devin 2-21-03

Dear Diary, I've been running from the Genie for a few days now. I've donned some new clothes to help disguise myself, but apparently my nemesis has too. Hmm, isn't it a bit early to be in that get-up? Now now, don't be a bah-humbug. Just tell Santa what you wish for-- Rats, I guess that was too obvious.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 171: The old joke (36)']

CC 171: The old joke (37) by Devin 2-21-03

Put your right hand here. Do you wish to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? I-- wait a minute, did you say "wish?" Um, no, no I didn't. Now hurry up and say "yes."

CC 171: The old joke (37) by Devin 2-21-03

Hello? Yes, I'm looking for an Ai, last name, Wishphorstuf. Uh huh...

(Blast it, I mislabeled one.)

CC 171: The old joke (38) by Devin 2-21-03

You should really think about settling down. What about that nice girl, Megan? Which country does she come from? And what does she do? She's from Ireland and she's a foreman at Wal-Mart. I'm sorry, son. She's a what what? I said, she's an Irish fore-- Wait a minute...

CC 171: The old joke (39) by Devin 2-21-03

Ah, finally, some peace and quiet. I wish it was a little warmer here though. Oh sh--

CC 171: The old joke (40) by Devin 2-21-03

Argh, cramp, cramp! I wish I were taller so I could reach that shelf without standing on tip-toe. You're really slipping. Oh shit, please, no, no no no no no-- Wait, don't shoot! I'm not gonna hurt anyone! That's what ALL the oversized monsters say! Tell the jets to commence with Operation Neuter!

[Click to view comic: 'CC 171: The old joke (41)']