quote:

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Last few didn't sell too well, so:

I'm Not Judging by attitudechicka 5-13-04

Hey man, what are you doing? Playing video games. Let me in on that. There's so much destruction and violence in this game. I love it! If you get that excited about Barbie's Beachhouse, you're gonna love The Little Mermaid.

World's Shortest Tragic Play, 3 Months Later by attitudechicka 1-15-04

Seriously, where's my pickles?

The Worlds Shortest Tragic Play alt ending by attitudechicka 8-19-03

Dude, youre getting a dill!

Staring Contest by attitudechicka 9-13-01

You blinked!

Reasons To Use Your Own Razor by attitudechicka 9-03-01

I don't appriciate you using my razor. I didn't use your razor. I don't believe you. I found it next to the sink, when it's usually in the bathtub. I swear, I didn't use it! If you would have thought about this logically, you'd know where that razor's been... I have two different kinds of Nair, yet I have a razor... Eww!

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Ha, good ones, chicka. Might as well post the original while I'm here:

The World's Shortest Tragic Play by umfumdisi 8-03-03

You forgot my pickles.

Can plays have sequels? I should have called it WSTP: Rewrite...

World's Shortest Tragic Play: The Sequel by umfumdisi 8-21-03

You forgot to put me on his burger.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Reverse Psychology by possums 2-12-04

Go clean your room, boy. Yeah fuck you dad. I'll try some reverse psychology. .yob ,moor ruoy naelc oG .dad uoy kcuf heaY

I Piss All Over Your Silly Rules by possums 3-20-04

Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH! Take me to your leader. Why? What do you aliens want from us humans? You know what we want... *glorp, glorp* Well, not what I had in mind, but, when in Rome...

Not sure if this has been posted here before, but Spankling deserves credit for this one:

A Public Service Announcement by Spankling 7-28-03

Spankling here. I'm not really a butt dusting hole snake, but I play one on the internet. Well... okay, maybe I step over the line now and... but that's not tonight's message! I'm here to invite all you young ladies to do something I know will do you a world of good - masturbate regularly. Now I can hear you already. "How will I find the time? I might feel silly! How will I find my g-spot when the entire football team failed?" Just put all those thoughts aside and get busy with a buzzing household appliance. Ask your doctor or pharmacist how. Enjoy the beauty and wonder that is your crotch. If any of you need help getting started I am available for 1-on-1 (or 2-on-1) consultations. And remember, you hold the key to your own happiness. ... or at least you should several times a day. Have fun! And keep slapping that clam ladies! Thank you.

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Poop.

I was reading the toprated list and saw that there wasn't a single squidrabies comic on there, so I thought I'd post a few here in the hope that he'll join the elite.

[

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 2-28-03

Midgets prefer to be called 'little people'. I don't think that's right. Me neither. They're not people. They're elves or something.

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 11-23-03

Welcome to Monkey Burger, home of the Monkey Burger. May I take your order? I'd like a McCheese with extra Super Sauce. Okay. For one thing, this isn't McDonald's. Okay. Also, there's no such thing as a McCheese or Super Sauce. I was making a suggestion.

Princess Twinkies the Friendly Cthulhu by squidrabies 4-30-05

GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY! Part 4 Okay, so what proof do I have that God exists and I'll have an afterlife of eternal happiness? Oh, haha. Well, none. No proof at all. Just have faith. And do everything I say without question. Huh. Soooooo... I stunt my emotional growth and refrain from learning through experience and gaining the wisdom to choose what kind of person I want to be. Why? Simple. Fear and guilt. Yeah... You know that's completely insane, right? I tell you what... the next time you're nailed to a cross, you can make up the rules.

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 5-01-05

E.S.P. test. Testing. Are you getting this psychic message? Need to... concentrate... mustering all of my latent psychic abilities. Can you hear my thoughts? Ah, fuck me. Whoa, I just got a huge boner.

Tard Boy and Finkelman 2 by squidrabies 8-04-02

They say drowning isn't a bad way to go. Really? Yeah, they say it's a few seconds of unspeakable panic and terror, but then it's really relaxing and pleasant. That does sound nice. So, what did you think? I got a shrimp stuck in my throat.

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Dad was flammable

Mr. Monkeybottom by squidrabies 8-05-02

Mr. Monkeybottom, have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior? Does he come with free long distance minutes? Well, no. But he does come with love and forgiveness of your sins. That's great and all, but what I really need is some free long distance minutes. I have family in Kuala Lumpur. Well, okay. Love, forgiveness and 120 long distance minutes. How about a cell phone for those free minutes?

Princess Twinkies the Friendly Cthulhu by squidrabies 8-06-02

How come you and I never got 'together', Mr. Monkeybottom? Because you're a selfish controlling bitch that lives to suck the life out of everyone around you. No, be honest. Your tits are too small.

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 8-08-02

I'm suing Finkelman for sexual harassment. Sweet jesus. When I testified, I used a doll to demonstrate how Finkelman would touch me in my bathing suit area. Now the doll is suing me for 1.5 million.

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 8-09-02

Gee, what a beautiful. day. And how. A day like this makes me want to experiment with homosexuality, which psychologists assure me is completely normal in this stage of my sexual development. Be gentle.

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 8-31-02

So all day today at work, I couldn't decide whether to kill myself or everyone else around me. Why not kill them and then kill yourself afterwards? Fuck, where were you two hours ago? I'm not sure.

These are just the first 10 comics I came across, please read his entire collection it's honestly complete comedy gold.

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Dad was flammable

Manifesto by KajunFirefly 5-07-05

Jim, this stupid drinks machine has given me tea instead of coffee, again. It's put in extra sugar as if that's supposed to fix anything. Oh come on, Kajun, you can't blame the machine, it's just trying to do it's job, it's bound to make mistakes once in a while. Why not use the one upstairs? I shouldn't have to move! This one has a history of wasted money, undelivered promises and broken dreams. I want it out! Well, I don't know about "broken dreams", but we've just signed a new lease until 2009, nothing I can do now. ***Four more years! Four more years!***

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Dad was flammable

I like this one I did. Probably my most favorite in a while.

The Totally Sick and Disturbing Adventures of Chupa by BigFrank105 5-05-05

Dude, you're such a fucktard! Have you even been with a woman before? Yes I have! And in fact, I'm with two women right now! Really... What are their names? Righty and Lefty! Drawing faces on your hands doesn't make them your sex partners! Not if you use permanent markers!

The New Restaurant by biped 5-08-05

I really like this new restaurant where you can play videogames while you eat. I really like to have wild, uninhibited anal sex with retarded farm animals. Oh yeah, and this new restaurant, too.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Joey the Schmuck 6 by biped 2-17-05

Oww...Daddy, I need a kidney... Tough. Get lost, ya little bastard. OH, OWW, OWWW, IT HURTS!!! I'M DYING -- PLEASE GIVE ME ONE OF YOUR KIDNEYS, DADDY!!! PLEEEEEEASE!!! I'll sell ya one. Ten thousand bucks. Cash. You'll SELL me one of your kidneys? Your own SON? What a SCHMUCK! I didn't say it was one of mine.

Joey the Schmuck 7 by possums 2-18-05

Ahh, if it isn't my old friend, the fuzz! Can your mouth, schmuck. I got some complaints here that you been sodomizing squirrels with letter openers. That's obscene! What kind of sick monster would do such a thing? No, even I wouldn't do that. Alright, you're off the hook... for now. My wectum still huwts. Shush.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

Must be Prom Night by MikeyG 5-09-05

What's worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one in the middle eating his way out.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I audibly chuckled (also known as "lol'd") at this one by ARSG:

The Adventures Of Tom, The Guy With No Communication Skills by areallystupidguy 2-20-05

did i tell you that i'm working on a book? no.

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I think, therefore I make comments on a forum.

Have I ever posted these in this thread? Just checking.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-06-04

So...how's the new butt creme working out? Please...not so loud. I'd rather people didn't -- Butt creme!!! BUTT CREME!!! You BASTARD.

The Water Cooler Boys by biped 5-08-04

You know that new girl in the office? The really homely one who looks sort of like Lon Chaney? Oh, yeah. She's a real dog all right, heh-heh. What about her? I heard she's got the clap. Oh, FUCK ME.