As the title suggests, deuce has snapped. He was last seen crossing the globe on a Furious Georgesque crime spree. Your job is to chronicle some of his rampage of misdeeds.

Keeping with the theme, judging will be on the 2nd, with entries closing at 22:22 SC time.

Oh yeah -- one other rule -- since Turkey Day just ended here in GMT -6 land, include the name of a bad movie (or one you just dislike) in each submitted comic.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

....huh?

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Poop.

I think he means this guy.

CC 222: "There's a character named Deuce. Run with it." by Rabid_Weasle 11-28-03

Welcome to this year's annual Walk-A-Thon! Looks like a good crowd showed up! Well... whenever you're ready, let's get walking! HA! Hahahahaha! Hey! That guy's running! He's ruining everything!

The title is a quote from Kaufman attempting to explain the contest to me. I think I got it figured out.

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Poop.

CC 222: Duece Wants The Spotlight by Rabid_Weasle 11-28-03

Sucky sucky! Fie....! ...dolla!

CC 222: Everyone Thinks It's Funny. Really! by Rabid_Weasle 11-28-03

You know, I'm thinking maybe I should stop putting a nail in my head... it's getting kinda old. No way! Everyone thinks it's hilarious man! Really? Really! Wow! Thanks Deuce! I'll never stop now! ....hehehehe....

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Poop.

Why I Hate Deuce by dcomposed 11-28-03

TEXT EDITED OUT oMGWTFROFFLERUFUS

Crap, forgot a rule.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

"There's a character named Deuce. Run with it."

Hmm.

Kaufman is (or was) down in New Orleans.
The New Orleans Saints football team has a running back by the name of Deuce McAllister.

-cue Twilight Zone music

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC222: Outtakes From "Beaches." by UnknownEric 11-29-03

I'm dying. Oh my god! Let's cry a lot and eat bon-bons! Noochie noochie kooooooooooo! I hate when he does that. Who hired him to be gaffer anyway?

I worked the shitty movie right into the comic itself. I'm either a genius or a moron, and right now, I'm leaning towards number 2.

Heh heh. I said "number 2."

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I has a flavor!

What A Deuce-Bag by Ewwwww 11-29-03

Serously, fuck off. Yea, your cramping our style.  :(

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

CC222: Starring Deuce As... by ivytheplant 11-30-03

Hey Powell! The lights on the War Room map went out again! For the last time, Mr. President, that's a Lite-Brite. Prepare for... ARMAGEDDON!!! Heh heh. SECURITY!!!

CC222: The Deuce Movie That Would Not End by ivytheplant 11-30-03

We don't know who he is or why he's in the hospital. It should be obvious. Look at his teeth and reluctance to die. You don't mean to say he's-- Yes. He's the english patient! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! Ruuuuun! Robble robble!

CC222: Damn you Mark Steven Johnson! by ivytheplant 11-30-03

Robble robble. What the hell do you want? Your robble is hanging out. Yeah? So? You're a Baredevil. Kaufman put you up to this, didn't he?

CC 222: Little deuce-cubed by mmyers 12-01-03

Sex isn't really better when you wait until marriage. In fact, it is more awkward and painful. Aw man, why did I wait so long? I was about to marry Julia Roberts. Hey Julia, where are you going? Where are you?! The boat is sinking and I'm King of the world. Even if you do find her, you're going to be king of the underworld. You freeze to death in the water, you schmuck. If you haven't seen them, the movie Identity is taking place in someone's head, Rosebud is the sled in Citizen Kane, everyone did it on Murder on the Orient Express, Bruce Willis is dead in 6th Sense.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

CC 222- Deuces Gone Wild by mmyers 12-01-03

Hollywood. A big movie studio. Well, we're hard up for ideas again. Time to recycle an idea that was once good but we've drained of any fun or surprises. Good idea. I suggest we do Peter Pan again. There's a whole generation of fetuses that don't have a version of Peter Pan to call their own. On set. Mr Deuce, you will be playing our hero, Peter Pan. Ah, freaking brilliant. I am loving it. Where is the money trailer? I'll be right back. Much Later. Mr. MoneyBags, Deuce has left and he's stolen the film's budget! Waitaminute, the film's budget or the special effect's budget?! The film budget isn't a big deal but we've got to have that special effects budget! NOOO!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Yee haw! You guys HAVE to love this one. It's teh funny!

CC 222: A Big Ol' Deuce-Egg by MikeyG 12-01-03

Cock! Piss, shit, cockety cock cock!!! Who the fuck are you? I am Schmuley Schwarzenegger, brother of Arnold, and YOU are interrupting the filming of Terminator 7: Rise of TOBOR. Terminator 7? What happened to 4, 5, and 6? Optioned out to friggin' Sri Lankan film companies. We spent a lot of money on attaining the rights, so the film is kinda low-budget. Well, shit on my tongue and slap me with a porcupine! Who would sign onto a clunker like this? Steve Pitt, Manuel L. Jackson, Tim Cruise, Enid Zellweger, Nigel 'Lefty' Zeta-Jones, and Eric Roberts.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

CC 222: What the Deuce by NeoVid 12-01-03

MY SIXTH SENSE IS TELLING ME THIS'LL BE A DISASTER, BUT WHO'LL STAFF THE NEW BRANCH OF THE WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH DURING THE GRAND OPENING? Eh... I suppose I will. Yeah, I guess I'll help out too. Looks like I'll have to open up with a pair of Deuces.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

CC 222: Deuce Rumsfield by Chi_The_Cynic 12-01-03

The President is... unavailable! He sent me to speak on his behalf America's new foreign policy is: War with France! Camembert, croissants, garlic and Jean-Paul Gaultier are the new axis of evil! There will be no mercy. Meanwhile... Well, looking on the bright side, Mr. President, your ratings have just gone up by 45%

...Rumsfeld

Tiki Amok by Zaster 12-01-03

Step off! I'm like a crazy person! You do not want to mess with me today. What? I didn't go near you! I mean it! I've been dangling my participles! Yesterday, I stood outside Blockbuster and gave away the ending to Legally Blonde II. Nothing is sacred! Whatever, weirdo. Stay back! I swear to god I'll spit my gum right on this sidewalk! Aren't you the guy who ruined the ending to Legally Blonde II!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Wind Tunnel by ObiJo 12-02-03

Compressor *BLOW* Test Section Call... the... po... lice. Diffuser *SUCK*

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC 222: Matrix Revolutions: Now With Added Suck by BigEvilDan 12-02-03

Mr. Anderson, welcome back. We missed you. This ends tonight. Psst, Neo. Type rm smith*.agt at the command prompt. That will defeat him. What the hell are you supposed to be? I'm a Deuce Ex Machina.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

That was good, EvilDan.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Sorry I'm not more verbose, but I'm fighting off a cold. Anyhow, lots of fine entries, but the one that best captures the spirit of this contest, earning the right to host CC223 is:

CC222: Starring Deuce As... by ivytheplant 11-30-03

Hey Powell! The lights on the War Room map went out again! For the last time, Mr. President, that's a Lite-Brite. Prepare for... ARMAGEDDON!!! Heh heh. SECURITY!!!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com