Cool, I won. Anyway, enough small talk.
In this CC I want you to offend me.
Yes, that is correct, make offensive comics.
I am very hard to offend and I want to see how far you can go. Of course, it has to be funny, too.
There's no real main rules. Just make crude, rude comics or anything that would make somebody go: :O
But no racist stuff, okay?
And since MikeyG won the last one, if he enters, he has to make the entire comic in haiku.
Juding will be in 5 or 6 days.

Ok so I definitely won't be retelling this old racist joke -

Q) Whats a cocoon?

A) A b-black man

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

CC238 - The First Date by kramer_vs_kramer 3-30-04

Do you have any hobbies? I like to inject my own feces into my cock with a syringe, so that next time I ejaculate I can watch my lover's expression as she realises her face is covered in a foul mix of semen, shit and blood. So, do you want to come back to my place?

CC238 - Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking by kramer_vs_kramer 3-30-04

MikeyG, I can't seem to find my pet gerbil. Have you greased it up with the juices of your mother's rancid snatch and shoved it up your arse again? I told you, we're on a different contest now. You can stop insulting me. I mean it. Hand over Frisky. I'll get the pliers.

kramer, if THAT had been your contest entry, you probably would have cinched it.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

but surely it would have been out of context as that compo would still have been ongoing at the time?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Baby Got Back To Tha Fissure. by smamurai 3-30-04

Doc you're Alive? Am I Marty? Am I? I have brought you a fossilised human fetus from the year 3020. Great Scott! Do you realise that could create a tear in the 'space-time continuum'? That's code for it might hurt my colon right? Shake your ass over here and let's find out.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

No one has ever made a comic about a hypothetical future? Isn't EVERY comic about the future hypothetical?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

That depends on your definition of 'hypothetical', 'comic' and 'the'.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Offensive Movies by possums 3-30-04

The Last Tycoon? More like, the Last Thai-Coon! It's about Tiger Woods. Terminator? They trashed the original, "nigger Terminator." Canadian Bacon? Whoa! They made a movie about boinky?

CC238: A small town Saturday night. by UnknownEric 3-30-04

So... do you like my bedroom? Yes. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I'm thinking about tying you to the bed, lubing up your tight asshole and sliding bananas in it while I shit in your mouth. Was it something I said?

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I has a flavor!

CC238: Misunderstanding No. 666 by UnknownEric 3-30-04

Mmmm... it's soooooo big. Oh, I can't fit it all in! *CLICK* Y'know, Shelly, when I asked you to "suck my cock"...

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I has a flavor!

My first CC entry for over a year, feel special.

CC 238 - Offending Boinky33 by bazilla 3-30-04

Boinky33 smells BAD!

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

On the offensive by EvilZak 3-30-04

Hey Stevie, I had sex with your mom last night and I have the pictures to prove it! Big deal, like I care if you screw my mom once. That means nothing. Well I'll be fucking her more often! She said I was the greatest lay she's ever had! Even greater than me?

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AFROMANS MOVE

Does it say something about me that I'm really inspired by this contest? ;)

CC238: The Man Without A Filter. by UnknownEric 3-30-04

That was a great first date. Thank you. Can I ask you something personal, Claire? Of course. Can I come in, spank your naked ass and then come in your mouth? NO! Okay, how about a quick feel-up then?

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I has a flavor!

Cannibal Orgy Jesus by possums 3-30-04

Jesus and a bearded Mary are at the Cannibal Orgy... Wow... Judas tastes good. Say Mary... How do I taste? *mglorp* *mglorp* Only time I ever got pleasure from giving head! Oh, hey, dad! I'm just getting blown and eating Judas at the cannibal orgy! Oh, awesome! I'll be there! Whoo! This is awesome! CANNIBAL ORGIES!!!!!! So... I just pour this hot candlewax all over your crotch and then eat it off?

CC 238 - Offend Boinky33 by MikeyG 3-30-04

Bugger your fat ass...Let me roll you in some dough...and fuck the wet spot. You rape little boys...Then you drink their raped ass-blood... sucking pimple pus. You fuck dogshit piles...Make crackheads drink your ballsweat...chew on corpse asscrack.

CC 238: Hai-fucking-ku to you, too. by MikeyG 3-30-04

Your mom is a cunt. A festering, oozing cunt. A blistered cunt. With a nasty white paste...that looks like cottage cheese on...a baboon's red ass. Your mom has ass-AIDS...she shoves shit logs in her twat...that fucking cock tease.

CC 238: Haikuchie by MikeyG 3-30-04

You get passed around...from lap to lap by your dad...at his poker games. you eat dead men's guts...get rimjobs from toothless whores...lick dirty diapers. you're so fucking fat...you could not find your penis...underneath that flab.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

*faint*

mikey wins.

CC238- heh. by Noodle_Stick 3-30-04

........... ........ You smell!!!!!!!!! *scatter*

yeh ok. Had to do it.

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PRAISE ME! I! AM THE RULER... OF THE UNI- aw damn a dog crapped on my shoe.

You know I love you buddy.

CC238: Boinked Boinky? by Matchbook_Romance 3-30-04

So boinky, was that you or your mom that I fucked last night?

CC 238: Phone Call For Boinky33 by Rabid_Weasle 3-30-04

Sorry, boinky's not here right now. Oh, alright well then could you give him this message then...? Later... Hey boinky, Space Moose called for you. Oh, what did he want? He said you're not very funny.

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Poop.

CC 238: You Wanted Offensive, Here Ya Go by AtheistDiary 3-30-04

It's not very hard to insult boinky, given his reputation for masturbating to his own baby pictures. But do we KNOW who boinky really is? For instance, did you know that he had a torrid love affair with Condoleezza Rice briefly after she took office? Every night he'd sneak into her office and beg her to take a shit in his nasal cavity. Usually she'd strain so hard, though, that she'd end up pissing all over his chin whiskers. Then he'd have her scoop up the left over juices with tortilla shells and put it all in a blender to make party smoothies. But alas, being the man slut that he is, she caught him in a circle jerk on Sept 10th with Rush Limbaugh, Janet Reno, and that Eelian Gonzalas kid. He had Eelian's jizz dripping all down his eyebrows. Being as distraught as she was, you can now see why Condoleezza fucked up the intelligence reports on 9/11. Thanks a lot, Boinky!

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Are you allowed to enter old strips? For I too have some slightly offensive haikus -

Duelling Goatse Haikus... by smamurai 3-17-04

Meat meat red raw meat, Marbled sinewy raw red gape, Scald 3rd degree bum. Cling onto the sides, Descent into the malestrom, Down the burrow go. Fear the swinging knob, The pit and the pendulum, Fall into darkness. Join with your sister, Mainline her warm enema, Sit on tub-girls ass. Pot-hole-ing venture, Wrap faeces around your waist, Link up man to man. Discover your roots, You eat what he has eaten, Return to the womb.

You know it is really hard to think of something offensive nowadays.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Why is everyone making fun of me?

:(