redux....

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I would just like to point out a few things...
[list=1]
[*]I have had a really nasty flu for the past week and a half or so.
[*]The worst symptom of this flu was the incessant coughing.
[*]I am not almost over the flu, but I still have the incessant coughing.
[*]Laughing very hard at things sends me into life-threatening coughing fits.
[*]This competition has almost killed me.
[*]So did that fucking gorilla-felching picture... *laugh* *cough* *choke* *gag*
[/list]

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Sorry, folks, but the random strip generator brought me this old gem:

Phallistic Missile #1... by wirthling 1-30-01

T minus 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... BLASTOFF! Damn...This happens to all guys at one time or another...Doesn't it?

Which leads to either ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

One from Column A by kaufman 9-06-01

T minus 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... BLASTOFF! Damn...This happens to all guys at one time or another...Doesn't it?

or ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

One from Column B by kaufman 9-06-01

And now for something completely different: A rocket with a tape recorder in its nose cone. o/` Don't break my heart, My achy breaky heart ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The original, by NeoVid.

The truth revealed by NeoVid 3-06-01

Gabe, you just won't cooperate with your costars. What are you going to do about it? I'd at least like an explanation why. Well, I think I got it from Dad. He's got some anger management problems... That kid of mine is causing trouble again. Good for him.

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What others say about boorite!

And now, me me me.

CC 60:The truth revealed, Fatboy Slim Remix by boorite 9-06-01

Gabe, you just won't cooperate with your costars. What are you going to do about it? I'd at least like an explanation why. Well, I think I got it from Dad. He's got some anger management problems... That kid of mine is causing trouble again. Good for him.

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What others say about boorite!

And since Kaufman did it, one from Column B:

CC 60: Descoladalypse Now, Redux by boorite 9-06-01

Descolada, why aren't you feeding the pigeons again today? Too broke for breadcrumbs. Oh, and fuck you for asking. Your ex-employer is a whopping tool for axing everyone on short notice. He didn't need us. Said he'd buy a manual and run the machines himself. This piece of shit doesn't even HAVE an ANY key!

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What others say about boorite!

Ouija Ouija da da da da! Spookalata haunta lotta (part 1) by Jael 6-13-01

One halloween night...I was bored and slightly ripped. Hey! Roomie has a Ouija board...those things are so fake. I think I'll prove my subconscious theory! I'm the family kitten, however, due to budgetary measures, I must look like a squirrel in this strip After jacking around for a few minutes...things got strange. D-U-C-K? What the fuck? There's no Ducks. I knew you were a stupid piece of shit! mrrowr? *bolt* hide* to be continued...... Where's that damn cat of ours? insert insane growling noises and hissing here

Remember - we were posting horror stories from our past at the time. Jael had a good one going and never finished it. *sigh*

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Ouija Ouija da da da da! Spankaloola lotta by Spankling 9-06-01

One halloween night...I was bored and slightly ripped. Hey! My last roomie left some of her cloths here! Damn! I make a pretty good looking woman! I wonder if she left a dildo too... I'm the family kitten, however I'm too embarased by Spankling to show my real face, so I will look like a squirrel in this strip. After jacking around for a few minutes...things got strange. Oh god! I think I'm getting a multiple "O"! MAN chicks have it made!!! That's it, I'm outa here. My apologies people. Not to be continued...... That was fun... Now where did I put my masculinity? insert vile dripping noises here

and then this...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Boy, I would hate to be the one to have to pick just one winner from this lot...

One of mine got used. Cool. Anyway, courtesy of DH, the guy who showed me Stripcreator in the first place...

Ghost In My Spleen by DH-01 6-05-01

whO's yOUr dAddy? ... I sAId, whO's yOUr dAddy?! ... OH ALRIGHT! TOBOR'S FATHER WAS A GIANT VENDING MACHINE! PLEASE STOP CORNHOLING TOBOR NOW! ... y'knOw, thAt jUst rEAlly fUckEd Up my mOOd, mAn. gEt Off mE, yOU bIg rEd schlOngslEEve. THERE IS A GOD!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

And if you're wondering, the first speaker in this strip is our resident felchmonkey. The second one is the guy who came up with the line "TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!" The thought balloon is Tobor's. :)

CC 60: The second guy created Tobor by NeoVid 9-06-01

whO's yOUr dAddy? ... I sAId, whO's yOUr dAddy?! ...OH ALRIGHT! TOBOR'S FATHER WAS A GIANT VENDING MACHINE! PLEASE STOP CORNHOLING TOBOR NOW! y'knOw, thAt jUst rEAlly fUckEd Up my mOOd, mAn. gEt Off mE, yOU bIg rEd shlOngslEEvE. THERE IS A GOD!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Ahhhh boorite, you rule. That's gonna be the new quote on my website.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

SURREALISM OWNZ J00!

hughliploof by LethargicBoy 7-19-01

Fancy meeting another being here in this vast featureless plane, say, what are you up to? leave me be, chicken! You don't want to become involved with my affairs! Want some lunch? NO! BEGONE! I'm BUSY! Eons pass... A BURNING FESTIVAL IS IN ORDER! *sigh*

And now, the most nonsensical strip I've ever written.

CC60 - hughliploof through a glass darkly by andydougan 9-07-01

I hope you've learned your lesson, son. If there's any masturbating going on under my roof, I'll be the one doing it! Yes, paw. Sorry, paw. Right. Now, when you've hammered that nail in, I've got several more in this bag. No! Paw! They're not nails! That's... Seconds later... HEAVENS! ...a large incendiary device. *sigh*

I think I'll have another attempt.

i am ilitarate by fuck 8-10-01

this is my other strip can i have sex with you  no  then die ah! i am dieing

All this guy's comics (all three of them) are like this.

CC60 - I am literate by andydougan 9-07-01

What ho, my good fellow! Wouldst thou be so noble as to direct me to the nearest hostelry wherein a man may sate his thirst with a flagon of ale and his weariness with a clean bed? Gad! What manner of hellish travesty be this? I would perish ere I be tempted by its blasphemies and lusts! A blessing, then, that I am with a casket of trinitrotoluene equipped! You wound me, sirrah! 'Tis no fault of mine that my lineaments offend thee! Avaunt, denizen of the nether-realms! Mine ears are deaf to thy ruses!

Woohoo! Thanks to this contest, the concentration of donkey sodomy comics has reached an all time high! But on a different note, I'd like to give a hearty "fuck you" to everyone for making this so hard to judge. Next time I win, only ObiJo will be allowed to submit a funny comic. Everyone else is limited to submitting crap.

Here is my short list of comics that really stood out:

Ever see how married couples start looking like each other? - kaufman
I love the concept

That enigmatic smile... - DexX
Simple yet daring. Congrats on being daring enough to go for same text.

Can To, Redux - descolada99
Same as DexX.

The Magical Mystery Machine is Dying to Take you Away - ObiJo
I'm a fan of the original, and I like the direction you took it.

Descoladalypse Now, Redux - boorite
It was the first panel that got me.

I am literate - andydougan
It makes me feel cultured just putting this on my list.

And the winner of Comic Contest 60 is....

gabe_billings!

Donkey Dominance. Part 5. Ed 2. by gabe_billings 9-05-01

No, you cannot have this planet. It is already owned by me. Than you leave me no choice but to invade in a very unfriendly manner. Ha! You don't scare me. Put that down. Make me.

Have fun with 61!

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

You mean like every other contest, right? JUST A JOKE. Put down the herrings of death.

Congratulations gabe, that one was funny as hell.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

It's funny because it's true!

New rules to be posted soon...

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.