Well, I didn't really win the last FTC, but I seem to have been appointed to carry on. So, without any further ado, here's the template.

FTC 47: Template by biped 11-27-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something.

I know this isn't a very good template, but that should make it even more challenging. Please leave the first two panels exactly as they are, but do anything you want with the third one, including photoshop. Extra points if your entry is funny. Minus several points if your entry mentions the name "Fabio", or if you just got an erection when I mentioned the name "Fabio." In case you don't know who Fabio is, here are two photographs of him:

To whoever hosts after me:
POST THESE LINKS
AND POST THAT THE NEXT HOST SHOULD POST THESE LINKS.
... and the host after that.
HOSTS! Read this first.
Awards List (Paste at judging)

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

FTC 47: First Things First by Zaster 11-27-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Folks -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

FTC 47: In Remembrance of Bob by fpd 11-27-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Although Bob is no longer with us, I take cheer by thinking of where he is now, finally getting his just reward. So let's not mourn Bob. Let's make this a celebration instead.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

FTC 47: (Un-)Amazing (Social-)Graces by seattlesque 11-27-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. "...and in closing, that's what I had to eat yesterday, and if Bob were still alive he'd probably have had eaten food of some kind as well." Whoa. You really didn't win many friends in earthly life, did you Bob? Hey Corpse boy! The sewage plant just called for you. It wants its smell back. Haw haw!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

FTC: I Defy Your No Fabio Rule! by Rabid_Weasle 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Remember that time Fabio got hit in the face with a duck on a roller coaster? Well Bob died the same way... only with the windshield of my car and on a bench in the park.

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Poop.

Making comics stone cold sober yields strips like these.

FTC47: Requiem for a Wreck 1 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. When I met Bob, he told me that his favourite pastime was getting drunk and beating up his pregnant wife and shaking his kids until 'their brains turned into jello.'

FTC47: Requiem for a Wreck 2 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Bob was a kind and generous soul. He let me screw his wife for ten dollars, and I contracted herpes in the bargain.

FTC 47: Requiem for a Wreck 3 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. The nicest thing I can say about Bob was that he voted for George Bush in both elections. I mean, at least he voted. For the wrong guy. But he still voted.

FTC 47: Requiem for a Wreck 4 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. I first met Bob when he was selling himself as a transsexual porn star to raise money for his rehabilitation in the Catholic Church.

FTC 47: Requiem for a Wreck 5 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Bob's political, personal, and social leanings made Hitler look like Groucho Marx.

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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

Making comics after shiftwork yields comics like this:

FTC 47: Requiem for a Wreck 6 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just thnk of something. Bob was just too perfect for this world, and the Devil, his father, called him back home to the brimstone.

FTC 47: Requiem for a Wreck 7 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Bob's penchant for farting 'Happy Birthday' led to his unfortunate demise, after a heavy meal of refried beans. We also bury his wife and children, roasted in the house fire, the dog, overcome by the nauseating fumes, and five hundred of his neighbours.

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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

FTC 47: Little Girlie Men by possums 11-27-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Bob, or Bobbio as we came to know him, was one of the most overtly manly men I ever knew.

FTC #47: Would You Like To Try A Combo Corpse? by possums 11-29-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Welcome to McCop Out, may I take your order? One eulogy, please, with extra ham.

FTC #47: Out of Ideas by possums 11-29-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. o/ At the bottom of the deep briny sea... o/

FTC #47: Phat Procession by possums 11-29-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. When I say Bob, you say dead! Bob! Dead!

FTC #47: Bastard by possums 11-29-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. HAHAHA!!! YOU'LL ALL BURN!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

FTC 47: Aye Aye, Captain! by BigFrank105 11-29-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Ohhhh... Who lies dead in this casket that's in front of me? SPONGE BOB SQUAREPANTS!!!

Bob's eulogy goes to the tune of the Spongebob theme song, but you knew that

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

I judging this contest in one or two day. If you have comic for put, you put now. If too late, you no can win contest.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

You said one or two days about one or two days ago.

Yes, that was a private message, and yes, I did really say many weeks old, because now it really has been two weeks. You are like Kajun or Mikey on shpeed.

In other news, MMMMMM!!! MY DING DING DONG!!! *ftch* *ftch*

FTC 47: Endless Slumber by kaufman 12-09-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Let us all sing together in memory of Bob: One and two and o/` Bob-Bob-Bob Bob-Bob is dead. Bob-Bob-Bob Bob-Bob is dead. Bob is dead. Put him to bed. Bob is dead. He isn't rockin' and a rollin', Stick him in a hole and Bob is dead (Bob-Bob Bob-Bob is dead).

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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Yes, that was a private message, and yes, I did really say many weeks old, because now it really has been two weeks. You are like Kajun or Mikey on shpeed.

In other news, MMMMMM!!! MY DING DING DONG!!! *ftch* *ftch*

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FTC 47: You suck 1 dick and you're branded a homo for life. by suicide_king 12-09-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Years back, Bob told me about a 3-some he did with a buddy. Bob admitted he was naive then, believing the social protocol required him to blow the other guy. That's the last time I ever spoke to Bob.

quote:

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quote:

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Yes, that was a private message, and yes, I did really say many weeks old, because now it really has been two weeks. You are like Kajun or Mikey on shpeed.

In other news, MMMMMM!!! MY DING DING DONG!!! *ftch* *ftch*

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You would not dare to speak to me in this manner if I were General Zod.

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That's Mister Pantywhacker to you.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

AND NOW, here's the post where I announce the winners and use a lot of BOLD FACE and italics and stuff.

The Truth Award This would really happen

Goes to: fpd

For the Comic: "In Remembrance Of Bob"

This sounds closest to the sort of bullshit someone would think of in real life.

Most Political

Goes to: quodlibet

For the Comic: "Requiem For A Wreck 5"

Funniest Comic to Democrats

Goes to: quodlibet

For the Comic: "Requiem For A Wreck 3"

Funniest Comic to Nerds

Goes to: BigFrank105

For the Comic: "Aye Aye, Captain!"

Most Sexual

Goes to: suicide_king

For the Comic: "You suck 1 dick and you're branded a homo for life."

Most Ironic

Goes to:seattlesque

For the Comic: "(Un-)Amazing (Social-)Graces"

Funniest Politically Incorrect

Goes to: quodlibet

For the Comic: "Requiem For A Wreck 4"

Most Obscure

Goes to: possums

For the Comic: "Would You Like To Try A Combo Corpse?"

Best Title

Goes to: suicide_king

For the Comic: "You suck 1 dick and you're branded a homo for life."

Best Use of Lack of Rules

Goes to: (tie) Rabid Weasel for "I Defy Your No Fabio Rule!" and possums for "Did The Quadratic Formula Explode?!"

This one was just too close to call. You had Rabid Weasel's wonderful reference to Fabio's bird encounter on one hand, and on the other hand you had possums' incredible surprise appearance by Fabio himself.

The AUUHHH award Of best use of being corny

Goes to: kaufman

For the Comic: "Endless Slumber"

The song "Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob Is Dead" was very corny.

The Best at being a Bad Speller's Award WFT!?!11

Goes to: nobody

The spelling was very good this time around. I'm proud of everyone.

Best use of Cliches award

Goes to: fpd

For the Comic: "In Remembrance Of Bob"

More is good! For funny long panels

Goes to: suicide_king

For the Comic: "You suck 1 dick and you're branded a homo for life."

Bronze Award of Neatoness

Goes to: Injokester

For the Comic:

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to: quodlibet

For the Comic:

FTC 47: Requiem for a Wreck 7 by quodlibet 11-28-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Bob's penchant for farting 'Happy Birthday' led to his unfortunate demise, after a heavy meal of refried beans. We also bury his wife and children, roasted in the house fire, the dog, overcome by the nauseating fumes, and five hundred of his neighbours.

A good fart joke.

Bonus Award

Goes to: (tie) possums and quodlibet for their enthusiasm and prolific-ness.

Creativity Award

Goes to: possums

For the Comic:

I love the way Fabio's sudden appearance affects the character on the left in the second panel, and Fabio's stone-faced recitation of the line "MMM. You touch my tra la la."

Zinger Award (And the next host of FTC)

Goes to: Zaster

For the Comic:

FTC 47: Eulogy/Victory Speech by Zaster 11-27-04

Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy. But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts. Well, just think of something. Rarely have I seen a man beg for mercy with such eloquence. It may comfort you to know that my very first blow rendered him unconscious.

Congratulations, Zaster! Way to go, everybody! All of the entries were outstanding.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.