Another semi-regular series, like Leave It To Tobor.

Stripcreator Network News by fuzzyman 3-15-05

Good evening, this is SCN News. I'm Jake Jemima. Today, millions of people were lifted to the skies in what appeared to be the Rapture. Betty? Unfortuntely our film crew disappeared along with the rest of the Elect, so instead here's a scene from the film "Gigli." It's pronounced "Geelee." Rhymes with "Really." I'm a lesbian but for some bizarre reason I still want to sleep with you, Well, if that isn't enough to make you want to slit your wrists and come home to Jesus, I don't know what is. Betty? ... Betty?

Low Budget by fuzzyman 3-15-05

Good evening, this is SCN News. I'm Betty Butterworth. Tonight, tragedy as more soldiers die in Iraq. Jake? Unfortunately we can't afford a news crew in Iraq, so here's a live feed of Betty's son playing Return to Castle Wolfenstein. Shit! Shit! Shit! Fragged again! No! Aaaaaa!!! I can't fucking win! He's adopted. I think he takes after you!

Special Report by fuzzyman 3-16-05

This is a special report from SCN News. I'm Jake Jemima. Atomic bombs have been detonated in cities around the globe. Betty? Our own Gorton Fisherman is on the scene in Piscataway. Gorton? Thanks Betty. I'll be dying from radiation poisoning in a few minutes, but before I go I'd just like to tell Jake I'm sorry about the crabs. Back to you. Moh! Ha! Thanks Bob. I, uh... I picked up some crabs for him at the fish market and he never paid me back. Riiiiight.

It's All On SCN by fuzzyman 3-16-05

This is SCN News. I'm Jake Jemima. Tonight, a grisly murder in the Factory section of town. Betty? Unfortunately, our film crew is afraid to go into the Factory section, so instead here's a scene from the new hit show CSI: Comic Scene Investigation. It appears that the victim was anally penetrated by a huge object! What ever could have caused this? Hmmmmm! RRRRAAAARRRR! TOBOR WILL-- Oh, stop it.

Mark Burnett > Ken Kaufman by fuzzyman 3-16-05

Weclome to SCN News. I'm Betty Butterworth. In business news today, a merger between two major companies. Jake? Mergers are kind of dull, though, so instead here's a scene from the hit SCN reality series, The Appuntice. My plan is to produce a cable TV special about origami. It's paper view. Get it? "Pay-per view?" You're Flyered! Let's hope for a quick cancellation. I used to go to an origami class, until it folded.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Sitcom by fuzzyman 3-18-05

This is SCN News, I'm Jake Jemima. At the school board meeting today, controversy over sex education continued. Betty? We didn't bother to film the meeting, so instead here's a scene from the hit SCN comedy, Eight Simple Rules for Rapping My Teenage Daughter. Rool number three: Wehn a boy loves my teenage daughter, he nales the fukkin bich! Well, that was-- I WANT THE FCC TO KNOW THAT I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT SEGMENT!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

These are great.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Excellent.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

very very good

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

Gracias.

Appreciating the Classics by fuzzyman 3-18-05

This is SCN News and I'm Betty Butterworth. Today, Mad Cow Disease was detected in Colorado. Jack? Rather than bore you with a lot of medical mumbo jumbo, here's a scene from the classic SCN western, Bunnanza. That's it! I'm leaving Stripcreator and deleting all my comics! What the fuck are you talking about? Was that some kind of in-joke? Them rotor turbines won't generate punchlines by themselves, you know.

Political Drama by fuzzyman 3-18-05

This is SCN News and I'm Jake Jemima. President Bush explained his plans for Social Security today. That's too depressing to contemplate, so instead here's a scene from the hit political drama, The West Winger. President Kip Winger! So pleased to finally meet you! The pleasure is all mine, Ambassador! Vice-President Nugent will show you to your room. Our older audience members will get that joke. Those of you who were born in the Cretaceous period, anyway.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Fuzzy, you should kill off Kip Winger in your next comic. It is the decent thing to do, after all.

Good stuff, by the way.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

These comics are more fun than watching Rosie O'Donnell explode.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That would be scary to see.

Late Night by fuzzyman 3-19-05

This has been SCN News. I'm Jake Jemima. And I'm Betty Butterworth. Tune in at 11:30 for Late Night with Boorite, with special guest Cameron Diaz. Ummm... You're not wearing any pants. This is a limited-time offer, baby. Frees sample of the Boorite Delight right here! Does he think that will work? How come Boorite never invites me to be on his show?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Inspired by Spankling's TF series.

Spelunking by fuzzyman 3-20-05

This is SCN News. I'm Betty Butterworth. Tonight, more disturbing photos of Iraqi prisoners being tortured in Abu Ghraib. Jake? Unfortunately, the censors have covered over all the good parts, so instead here's a scene from the film, Spankling and the Seven Dwarfs. So, how many is that, Grumpy? That's all seven pointy hats up your ass, and... OH MY GOD! Dopey is still in there! Dopey! Walk toward the light! Dwarf porn? It's from my personal collection!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Mark Burnett > Ken Kaufman made me laugh out load. More or less imagining Brad doing making tiny paper birds...

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Mediocrity at its most average.

That wasn't the intended laugh, but I'll take it!

I think "You're Flyered!" is as Kaufmanesque a pun as I can ever come up with, though.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

That wasn't the intended laugh, but I'll take it!

I think "You're Flyered!" is as Kaufmanesque a pun as I can ever come up with, though.

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It was totally Kaufman. Also, I of course meant "Brad making tiny paper birds" not "Brad doing making paper birds."

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I wish you had said "Brad doing tiny paper birds!" At least be accurate!

Ow -- paper cuts.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That wasn't the intended laugh, but I'll take it!

I think "You're Flyered!" is as Kaufmanesque a pun as I can ever come up with, though.

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It was totally Kaufman.

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Was it, now?

You could ask an expert on kaufmantics, you know.

I will say the "I joined an origami club, but it soon folded" joke was lifted from me. I've been using it for a couple decades now.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I don't know if was lifted from you or not -- I recall seeing it on a pun web site a while back.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I don't know if was lifted from you or not -- I recall seeing it on a pun web site a while back.

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I have no idea if it was either, but as I said, I will say that it was.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

It's Magic by fuzzyman 3-22-05

This is SCN News and I'm Betty Butterworth. Today, more drama in the bizarre Michael Jackson child molestation trial. They don't allow courtroom filming, so instead here's some footage of my son's first birthday party. Now *hic* for Bobo's final act he's gonna... *hic* show you his funny Magic Snake! Goo! Oh my God! That's horrible! Did you have him arrested? Yeah. We felt really bad about it after we looted his bag of tricks and found that he really does have a magic snake.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Brains by fuzzyman 3-22-05

And now it's time for SCN Entertainment News. Tonight is the premier of the long awaited film, "Violent Zombie Attack." Jack? We don't have a clip, so here's a live feed of a real zombie attack taking place at the cemetary. Our own Gorton Fisherman is on the scene. Thanks, Jack. Well, the zombies are presenting their demands, and they seem singularly focused on sweetbread. Back to you. BRAIIINNNNSSSS!!! Wait a second, didn't Gorton die of radition poisoning about 10 strips ago? Sure did! I think he's one of the zombies.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Questions by fuzzyman 3-26-05

And now for the SCN News Question of the Day, where our roving repporter asks StripCreator citizens a topical question. Betty? Thanks, Jake. Today's question is, "Should Terri Schiavo be allowed to die?" Sure thing. Yep! I sense a little editorial stacking of the deck there. You think?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

When in Rome by fuzzyman 4-09-05

Today thousands of people crowded into Saint Peter's Square in Rome to attend day 63 of Pope John Paul the Second's funeral. We can't afford to keep a news crew in Rome any longer, so instead here's a scene from the 1979 film, Caligula. Oh, Fellatia, I do so desire to place my tounge upong your hidden places! Have at me, Cunnilingula! "Cunnilingula?" Who keeps borrowing tapes from my collection, dammit!!?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Great stuff!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

The Return by fuzzyman 5-03-05

I'm Betty Butterworth and this is SCN News. Stripcreator citizens celebrated the return of their long-absent friend, Pita. Most of the party video was accidentally destroyed, but our video forensics team mamanged to recover this clip. 'Ey, you're pretty good wi' that banana. What say we go out back? Eep! "Accidentally destroyed," huh? Kajun paid you to dispose of that video, didn't he? Eating the video tape was easy compared to the soiled bananas.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.