The withdrawal of Shank's offer of 39.3 MB of nudes has necessitated this special offer, and you may reap the benefits! There are many contests on Stripcreator, but this one is exclusively for the ladies.

Here is your chance to win a date with me. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but your fantasy may actually come true!

All you have to do to enter is send a PM (2,000 words or less) telling me how you would like to rock my world. The top three winners will travel by Greyhound bus to meet with me in an exclusive, intimate setting (Paul's Motor Lodge off the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Room 12).

Meet Fascinating People!

You'll meet friends you'll cherish for a lifetime... like Doug the stoner guy and Vick, the trucker whose cousin used to be a roadie for REM!!

Experience Fine Dining!

Regular or cheesy crust; any toppings your heart desires! Free liquor, plentiful and flowing.

Enjoy Fabulous Intercourse!

My penis will slide in and out of your vagina, resulting in mutually gratifying sensations*

Enter Today!

Look, you know you want it. So get those entries in today! The first three will be accepted as winners! One of them could be you!

*****

*Mutual gratification not guaranteed. Offer void if under 18 years of age. Travel reimbursement subject to negotiation. No guarantee of actually meeting REM expressed or implied.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

This reminds me of my date contest from 1996. I actually met my wife through said contest.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

W00T!! Yes, this will work!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I guess without the context of my super retarded, never updated website this might be to dumb for most browsers.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

If I wear a skirt is that close enough?

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Poop.

If I wear a skirt is that close enough?

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Dad was flammable

quote:

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Meet Fascinating People!

You'll meet friends you'll cherish for a lifetime... like Doug the stoner guy and Vick, the trucker whose cousin used to be a roadie for REM!!

Experience Fine Dining!

Regular or cheesy crust; any toppings your heart desires! Free liquor, plentiful and flowing.

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DON'T DATE ZASTER! Zaster asked me out like 2 months ago. He took me out on a pretty good night of dancing and then dinner. He went up to use the bathroom and he never came back. I had to get a taxi to take me home. Thanks Zaster, you whore.

So what does the runner-up get?

15 years of lady-loving goodness.

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

In other words, me.

STEP OFF, FRANK.

kiddin'

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

Yes, especially if it's part of a "French maid" ensemble. However, it may push me over my liquor budget. In that case, you'll have to throw in for the difference.

That was your fault. You could have told me earlier that you were only halfway through your "operation".

What is this "runner-up" you speak of? If you are female (and I know you are), there is no such thing! Make way for the Z-train, baby!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

How do you know Ivy is a female?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I hope she is. She sent me a private mail and I'm totally having a moment with myself here.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Lamest fetish ever.

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It's grime time.

Hand job.

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Poop.

Hand job.

If the runner-up gets a hand job...

Lamest fetish ever.

I think that title goes to the "Bulgarian maid" ensemble.

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what if nigger meant kite

Lamest fetish ever.

I think that title goes to the "Bulgarian maid" ensemble.

The Bulgarian maid outfit was designed to discourage fetishes, originally.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Lamest fetish ever.

I think that title goes to the "Bulgarian maid" ensemble.

The Bulgarian maid outfit was designed to discourage fetishes, originally.

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

quote:

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Experience Fine Dining!

Regular or cheesy crust; any toppings your heart desires!

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quote:

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quote:

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Experience Fine Dining!

Regular or cheesy crust; any toppings your heart desires!

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but what if your date is lactose intolerant?

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You better not be sharing the room with some big hairy trucker named Earl. I don't want a repeat of last time...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

lactose intolerant? live in dc? you may already be a winner!
http://www.milkmakesmesick.org

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woof