i was going to make this just puns but then i thought all the comics might be "i do it for the pun of it". so instead i changed it to wordplay. you can do anything that involves worldplay. you can do:
[list]
[*]the typical pun but only if you do multiples not just one as a punchline (take a look at these two of mine if you want to know what i find funny)
[*]or you can break away from puns altogether and do other word play like substituion such as "what if ___ meant ____"
[*]or bye you sing warts that sound like each other
[*]or playing with the obcenity filter so that your comic says one thing with it on and one thing with it off (like drapery)
[*]or lots of things i havent thought of
[/list]

cleverness matters but not as much as funniness (thats a word). the winner will be the funniest one not the cleverest one

heres some legal jargon i stole from niteowl:
[list]
[*]No limit on how many entries you submit.
[*]Series are allowed as long as each comic has word play of some type
[*]No archived strips.
[*]No Photoshopped entries. (it would be cruel to have more phoshopped entries in this competition than in my photoshop valley contest. namely one.)
[*]In-jokes aren't permitted since i won't get most of them and you'd lose anyway[/list]

i'll judge on July 20

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what if nigger meant kite

Could we make it playing with words? I've just made a comic about that.

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Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Uhhhhn. Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Click. Blam. Onomatopoeia.

your the first person to ever enter one of my competitions. you can do whatever you want. pee in my pool or sleep with my house boy. or pee in my house and sleep with my pool boy

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what if nigger meant kite

Behold the winning entry. There's no point in anyone else entering except to further show how great this entry is.

CC 289: What if 'cock' meant 'lollipop'? by HCRoyall 7-15-05

Get that cock out of your mouth young lady! I told you sucking on a cock would spoil your appetite! How are you going to eat your dinner if you've always got a cock in your mouth! But Mom, can't help it! Cocks taste so good! Every time I see a cock I just can't resist sticking it in my mouth and sucking away at it! We'll see what your father has to say about you sucking on so many cocks! Speaking of your father, where is he? Betting on a lollipop-fight.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Here you go! You huge fucking MANDINGO:

CC 289: What if Mandingo meant cock by matclarke 7-15-05

The thing is, I just don't receive any pleasure from that Mandingo. But this is the only Mandingo I have! Maybe there is something differently I can do with my Mandingo. Aside from throwing your Mandingo off a cliff, that damn Mandingo isn't worth doing squat. But, but, but.. *SLAM* WHY LORD, WHY? Why have you forsaken me with this damn Mandingo!

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obscenity filter is off

CC 289: What if cock meant cock? by biped 7-15-05

GOSH, Farmer Green...you've got the BIGGEST COCK I ever saw! How did it get so BIG? Oh, I reckon it's cuz I PLAY with it so dang much! You mean, playing with your COCK makes it BIGGER? Why, SURE! Cocks need exercise too! It helps 'em grow up BIG 'N' STRONG! Wow! Is having such a big cock ever a problem for you? Well...the dang thing wakes me up early every mornin'! It's always up before I am!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

How about this for wordplay.

Another reject from Amateur Night by OmniMarconi67 7-15-05

So...you all heard the one about the 98-pound weakling who went to Alaska and came back a huskey fucker?... ...I can tell by your silence you must have...alrighty then...how about the one about the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil?....No?...Yes?... ...Wow...you all must be really exhausted then...must be all the heat...no, it's not hot in here, it's just me!...Anyone?....Hello?...Is this thing on?...

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.

What if mandingo meant Hilary Clinton

mandingo needs to shut up. Agreed.

by BigFrank105, 7-15-05

Okay. Second entry might be a bit better.

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Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Uhhhhn. Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Click. Blam. Onomatopoeia.

CC289: What if "bush" ment "Dick" by The_young_scot 7-15-05

Man I hate to tell you , but your sister has the hairiest dick I've ever seen You ever hear the saying "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Have you ever heard the saying "A bird in the hand is worth two in the dick?" You have to be the dumbest person in the world What about President Dick? Oh yeah, he is a bit of a cock, I mean bush.

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

lots of funny comics already. i'll take BigFrank105's advice and not post anything else in here until i pick a winner on the 20th

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what if nigger meant kite

"Mandingo" sounds like it very well could mean "cock".

fable for two by arbi 7-16-05

cc289 a bomb in a bull wordplay you wanna come back to my corncrib and watch tv? i dunno, what's on? it's a pilot about an old cowboy and his three sons on a ranch what's the ranch called? Focus! ... where the sons raise meat.

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woof

fable for two two by arbi 7-16-05

you wanna come back to my cornCobbcrib and watch tv? what's on? it's a pilot about an old cowboy and his three sons on a ranch what's the ranch called? Focus! Don't mind if I do!

fable for two, three by arbi 7-16-05

it's a pilot about an old cowboy and his three sons on a ranch what's the ranch called? Focus! ...where the sons raise meat. that's a bomb in a bull.

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woof

CC 289: Filter filth by lukket 7-16-05

How did you spend yesterday night? I attended a satanist sex orgy with a guy cumming in my anus while a harlot sucked my vagina! That sounds nice and family friendly. Well, can you do better? I dined with a heteroclite cockney on a fine restaurant. We got prawn cocktail, saltwater cockles and peacock roast with a nicely inspissated shitake sauce. Then we had a grapefruit crape for dessert. Oh my gosh! How lewd.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

What if Triscuit cracker meant stapler? by BigFrank105 7-16-05

Hey I need to borrow your Triscuit cracker. Fuck off, it's my Triscuit cracker. I though you had your own Triscuit cracker! Yeah, but my Triscuit cracker has gone missing and I need a new one! Fuck off. The Triscuit cracker is mine. I hate you. Don't make me use my Triscuit cracker on your nut sack.

CC 289: My puppet has no nose, and he smells terrible by kaufman 7-16-05

OH my god, my son. Look at you, what happened to you? I don't know, Giapetto, my nose has just shriveled up in the past week. How come? Have you been doing anything out of the ordinary? Can't say I have. You know I just read all the comics on stripcreator out loud, which usually takes all day, Come to think of it, it's been quicker since kaufman cut back. Aha, I think I know what the problem is, Punocchio, Well, tell me. Till I get my nose back, I'm all ears.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

i have stopped caring

What if Limited-Slip Differential meant swiss cheese? by BigFrank105 7-16-05

What are you eating there? Mmph. Limited-Slip Differential. You're eating Limited-Slip Differential? I want some Limited-Slip Differential, you big dumb cthulu! Don't insult me, foul woman, or I'll grind you up like Limited-Slip Differential. At least I don't have Limited-Slip Differential for brains. At least my pussy doesn't smell like Limited-Slip Differential.

CC 289: British telly these days... by lukket 7-17-05

It's fucking great to be here at the Live 8. Can you fucking hear me London! I'm frightfully sorry lads and lassies, but a lot of viewers has called in to complain about the language in our Live 8 transmission. To fill up the void, we have decided to show you the literature hour instead. Today we will have a look at Dickens' wangling twanging cockney Fagin. Cut!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

What if http://www.mli.gmu.edu/kaufman/sc/whatif.html * by kaufman 7-17-05

* Go to that URL to see what all the spoken words mean. I'm selling some animals that were attracted by my wife by making noises they found utterly irresistable. Do you sell donkeys? Only on Tuesdays. It's obvious your wife will love this burro.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

What if the Magna Carta meant cock?

I hate you, Ming. Suck my [Preamble] EDWARD by the grace of God, King of England, Lord of Ireland, and Duke of Guyan, to all Archbishops, Bishops, etc. We have seen the Great Charter of the Lord HENRY...

by possums, 7-17-05

Damn Communists! by mrpoop 7-18-05

What if "Nutsack" meant that the plight of the proletariat far outweighs catering to the comforts of the bourgeoisie if this results in a great seperation between the "haves" and the "have nots". That this class should one day rise up to remove the shackles of oppresion and help create an unfettered and unrestricted government ruled by the people, for the people. Nutsack. Agreed.

What if Hendrix meant 'Oral Sex' and Van Halen meant 'Aids' by lima 7-19-05

You can NOT be serious, Oral Sex is by far superior to Aids. Give me Oral Sex over Aids any day. No way, Aids is fantastic, i really got into Aids during the eighties. Aids came about and rendered Oral Sex obsolete. Everyone just thought 'fuck Oral Sex with this Aids thing we've got now' Bullshit. Aids has no soul. Aids is soul destroying. Soul? Pah, you're not going to get all spiritual and say that Oral Sex could take you to a 'higher plane of happiness' or whatever I am. Oral Sex is just a joy, i can go all day with Oral Sex in my ears. Anyonje can pin down Aids just by playing fast and not bothering to finger correctly. Very few people can do a good Oral Sex. Oh fuck off John, i hope you get Van Halen

All opinions expressed by characters are exactly those of the author. Except for the guy with no pants.

I'm too lazy to title this...

What if mandingo meant "Shut the fuck up"? Would you mandingo if it did?

by HCRoyall, 7-20-05

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 289: What if little boy meant member

Soo, you're saying that its ok to give my little boy to a member. Yup.

by matclarke, 7-20-05

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obscenity filter is off